FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do you love me or love the idea of me ?
Do you love me or love the idea of me ?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Came across this quote while reading a book and thought it would be interesting to see what people think about it ?
Do you love me or love the idea of me?
It is clearly underlying that love doesn't really exist to some extent, so folks what do you really think about it?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've been in love but it's very easy to fall out of love. It's heartbreaking to pine for love, even to want to fall in love with someone again that you've fallen out of love with. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"love is fickle and never lasts"
Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"love is fickle and never lasts
Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here"
Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"love is fickle and never lasts
Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here
Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? "
so what's your definition of love |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't you think LOVE is a "concept" invented by hollywood ?
Love varies depends on people, yet movies pushes us to have a single concept of it... "
I think Love was around long before Hollywood was  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here"
So do you think that you have to work on being in love? That you've worked hard to stay in love? I know you have to work for relationships to work but surely if you fall out of love, thats it then? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't you think LOVE is a "concept" invented by hollywood ?
Love varies depends on people, yet movies pushes us to have a single concept of it...
I think Love was around long before Hollywood was "
Love is just an individual thing that if lucky, is shared between two  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You defo have to work in a relationship goes without saying and yes there are times when you don't agree with each other but it's about give and take . Maybe we have been lucky to find what we have got . We are best friends , soul mates , lovers , mum and dad and grandparents. There is nothing we like more then our time together as husband and wife . God that sounds so corny |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"love is fickle and never lasts
Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here
Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love"
Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it last ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"love is fickle and never lasts
Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here
Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love
Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it last ? "
I'll let you know at the end of eternity,,  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"love is fickle and never lasts
Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here
Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love
Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it last ? "
I didn't know what I was looking for until I found it at 41. I used to laugh at the word soulmate but now I've found mine. Were a very lovey dove couple in general but we went to Ireland in the beginning of September and since then we have been like two pathetic teenagers. Does it last forever? I will only be able to answer that if were still together when one of us dies
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"love is fickle and never lasts
Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here
Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love
Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it last ? "
I think love only lasts if you have the attention span for it. I think some of us are incapable of long lasting love x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"love is fickle and never lasts
Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here
Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love
Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it last ? I didn't know what I was looking for until I found it at 41. I used to laugh at the word soulmate but now I've found mine. Were a very lovey dove couple in general but we went to Ireland in the beginning of September and since then we have been like two pathetic teenagers. Does it last forever? I will only be able to answer that if were still together when one of us dies
"
Wish you all the best, keep me posted about it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"love is fickle and never lasts
Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here
Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love
Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it
last ? "
you only have to look at the millions and millions of people on the countless dating sites all over the net to say it doesn't last..most of them are divorced or seperated |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"love is fickle and never lasts
Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here
Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love
Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it last ?
I think love only lasts if you have the attention span for it. I think some of us are incapable of long lasting love x"
Yes that's true as well, you have to reinvent yourself everyday in order to keep the flame burning I think... if it is getting a boring relationship, love will go away... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"love is fickle and never lasts
Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here
Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love
Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it
last ?
you only have to look at the millions and millions of people on the countless dating sites all over the net to say it doesn't last..most of them are divorced or seperated"
Maybe they didn't find the ones, or maybe internet pushes to think that the grass is better somewhere else... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"love is fickle and never lasts
Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here
Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love
Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it last ? I didn't know what I was looking for until I found it at 41. I used to laugh at the word soulmate but now I've found mine. Were a very lovey dove couple in general but we went to Ireland in the beginning of September and since then we have been like two pathetic teenagers. Does it last forever? I will only be able to answer that if were still together when one of us dies
Wish you all the best, keep me posted about it "
If she dies first she won't be able to tell you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Came across this quote while reading a book and thought it would be interesting to see what people think about it ?
Do you love me or love the idea of me?
It is clearly underlying that love doesn't really exist to some extent, so folks what do you really think about it?
"
Some scientists have postulated the theory that love is an evolutionary response which binds human animals together. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
together 34 years here and I would say that we "love" each other more now than at the start when it was what I think of a romantic love.
The people who love the idea of someone have missed the point of love. In my opinion love is accepting a person as they are not how you want them to be, allowing that person to be themselves (that's why some swinging couples are so successful and some aren't) and knowing that someone's got your back and you've got theirs.
Everyone has their own idea of what love is but that's mine. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"together 34 years here and I would say that we "love" each other more now than at the start when it was what I think of a romantic love.
The people who love the idea of someone have missed the point of love. In my opinion love is accepting a person as they are not how you want them to be, allowing that person to be themselves (that's why some swinging couples are so successful and some aren't) and knowing that someone's got your back and you've got theirs.
Everyone has their own idea of what love is but that's mine. "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"love is fickle and never lasts
Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here
Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love
Well, according to me, and it does only imply the _iews I have on the subject, I think love is something you want and are looking for and something you aren't really aware of till you find it, or till it finds you...but does it
last ?
you only have to look at the millions and millions of people on the countless dating sites all over the net to say it doesn't last..most of them are divorced or seperated"
Or maybe today's society makes it too easy for people to give up and separate? The older generation [in my opinion] seem to have longer marriages than today's generation. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"together 34 years here and I would say that we "love" each other more now than at the start when it was what I think of a romantic love.
The people who love the idea of someone have missed the point of love. In my opinion love is accepting a person as they are not how you want them to be, allowing that person to be themselves (that's why some swinging couples are so successful and some aren't) and knowing that someone's got your back and you've got theirs.
Everyone has their own idea of what love is but that's mine. "
Yes!!!! That phrase- 'knowing that someone's got your back and you've got theirs'... I've been trying to put that into words for ages.
Thank you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"together 34 years here and I would say that we "love" each other more now than at the start when it was what I think of a romantic love.
The people who love the idea of someone have missed the point of love. In my opinion love is accepting a person as they are not how you want them to be, allowing that person to be themselves (that's why some swinging couples are so successful and some aren't) and knowing that someone's got your back and you've got theirs.
Everyone has their own idea of what love is but that's mine.
Yes!!!! That phrase- 'knowing that someone's got your back and you've got theirs'... I've been trying to put that into words for ages.
Thank you. "
Welcome! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I find Lewis's Four Loves - based on 4 Greek words - are really useful in getting my head around this topic.
Storge - Affection: simplest, most natural, growing fondness through familiarity, brotherly/sisterly love
.
Philia - Friendship - the love between good friends....dark side could be exclusivity and cliquiness
Eros - Romantic Love - distinct from lust - where one person to the exclusion of others at that time is the object of a person's love. Dark side can be obsessional and lead to things like suicide pacts
Agape - Charity - a love beyond circumstance based on a deeper motivation and caring.
The potential for mistaking being in love with someone and being in love with the fantasy of someone, especially with the advent of online flirtationships, is high. (Although this was present in the past through love letters, long distance relationships etc., ).
The potential for short lived romantic attachments is therefore a distinct possibility due to the intensity of feeling that may partially or wholly be based on a fantasy. This may be what underlies unrequited love.
My guess is that love that lasts is firstly reciprocal and may well have the right mix of all four loves and is grounded in reality while recognising and exploring the fantasy together
Of course this should all be taken with a pinch of salt as one of WitchDoc's Brain Farts and has been packaged as Snake Oil 
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't you think LOVE is a "concept" invented by hollywood ?
Love varies depends on people, yet movies pushes us to have a single concept of it... "
Romantic love is a made up concept. The girl needs rescuing by a guy, there is only one special person out there for you that has to love you back, will give you what you want or think you need.
Real love is accepting and supporting people for who they are and never trying to change them (unconditional).
You are love, it's not a concept or an idea, it's you and how you treat everything that exists.
Altruism is another matter though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Don't you think LOVE is a "concept" invented by hollywood ?
Love varies depends on people, yet movies pushes us to have a single concept of it...
Romantic love is a made up concept. The girl needs rescuing by a guy, there is only one special person out there for you that has to love you back, will give you what you want or think you need.
Real love is accepting and supporting people for who they are and never trying to change them (unconditional).
You are love, it's not a concept or an idea, it's you and how you treat everything that exists.
Altruism is another matter though. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"love is fickle and never lasts
Don't agree with this at all we've been married for 29 years and love each other just as much as the early days and still don't like being apart from each other . So love exists and hasn't fizzled out here
Well done you, but I guess you both have your own definition of love, which might change with time ? so what's your definition of love"
Diviorce lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"together 34 years here and I would say that we "love" each other more now than at the start when it was what I think of a romantic love.
The people who love the idea of someone have missed the point of love. In my opinion love is accepting a person as they are not how you want them to be, allowing that person to be themselves (that's why some swinging couples are so successful and some aren't) and knowing that someone's got your back and you've got theirs.
Everyone has their own idea of what love is but that's mine. "
That's mine too.
I can't be with the person I love and I know he loves me and can't be with me. Separating hasn't stopped us loving each other but it has released us to offer and accept love to and from others. Separating was the most loving thing we could do for each other.
I hated the idea of him and he couldn't stand me but over time we found that somehow our respect for each other grew into love and then being in love.
Love should never be treated as a cheap and easy token. It is a great gift to give and receive.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I get texts most days saying he loves me and it aint from my hubby
Son?
ahem I have daughters "
I didn't know.....I thought it may have been a trick statement to make us go ooooooooh! And then you'd fool us with your japeries........
I'm guessing not?
In which case......ooooooooh!.....do tell! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago
hertfordshire |
"I get texts most days saying he loves me and it aint from my hubby
Son?
ahem I have daughters
I didn't know.....I thought it may have been a trick statement to make us go ooooooooh! And then you'd fool us with your japeries........
I'm guessing not?
In which case......ooooooooh!.....do tell! "
a lady never tells |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I get texts most days saying he loves me and it aint from my hubby
Son?
ahem I have daughters
I didn't know.....I thought it may have been a trick statement to make us go ooooooooh! And then you'd fool us with your japeries........
I'm guessing not?
In which case......ooooooooh!.....do tell!
a lady never tells"
That's an anticlimax........bloody info tease |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago
hertfordshire |
"I get texts most days saying he loves me and it aint from my hubby
Son?
ahem I have daughters
I didn't know.....I thought it may have been a trick statement to make us go ooooooooh! And then you'd fool us with your japeries........
I'm guessing not?
In which case......ooooooooh!.....do tell!
a lady never tells
That's an anticlimax........bloody info tease "
never an anti climax for me lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A lot of people project their idea of what love means to them in their heads onto the relationship, but they don't allow things to develop naturally.
Very few people experience true love, it is indescribable I've heard |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
