FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is it normal not to have any friends?
Is it normal not to have any friends?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I do not mean fab friends. I mean friends in general, close friends. Is it normal not to have any friends when you are a grown up male or female (apart from the other half of course)? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We're all different personality wise.
Just when we think we're the only ones with our traits and deem ourselves odd...We find others like us. No one's odd...just different...that's cool. |
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I've been stabbed in the back so many times by so called friends that I don't have many....however the ones I do have are awesome..you don't have to have a huge circle of friends as long as you have one or two that you trust then that all that matters. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have many close friends, never have. Plenty that I'm friendly with but that's not the same. I keep myself to myself most of the time anyway so I'm quite happy with only having a very small handful.
I've had some who took advantage and used me so I just cut them out. My life is so much better without them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have many close friends, never have. Plenty that I'm friendly with but that's not the same. I keep myself to myself most of the time anyway so I'm quite happy with only having a very small handful.
I've had some who took advantage and used me so I just cut them out. My life is so much better without them."
only because you scoff icecream on the Quay |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I definitely think it can be normal, especially for men. My husband has a couple of friends he only sees once or twice a year even though they're (fairly) local, but if it came down to it they'd be there for him, and he them. Other than that we have a few mutual friendly acquaintances who have children same age as ours. I have lots of friends, but I'm much more sociable. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do not mean fab friends. I mean friends in general, close friends. Is it normal not to have any friends when you are a grown up male or female (apart from the other half of course)?"
Christmas reminds me of my loneliness every year. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know lots of people but keep very few close friends - mainly because I've had trust broken a few times.
It's not unknown to move on through life and lose friends... But as for making new friends it's depends how you carry yourself as a person.
I don't think it's odd you don't have friends, know a few people who're in a similar boat!
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"I do not mean fab friends. I mean friends in general, close friends. Is it normal not to have any friends when you are a grown up male or female (apart from the other half of course)?"
Yes it is normal. Some are gregarious some aren't. It's only a problem if it makes you unhappy.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have lots of friends, but I'm much more sociable. x"
Seraphina, would you consider those friends of yours as people to chat with/go for a coffee? Or would you say they are proper friends you could talk anything about with. |
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By *iberMan
over a year ago
London |
"I've been stabbed in the back so many times by so called friends that I don't have many....however the ones I do have are awesome..you don't have to have a huge circle of friends as long as you have one or two that you trust then that all that matters. "
Can't improve on that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's only a problem if it makes you unhappy. "
nicecouple - sometimes it does. Being very independent and quite confident is a good thing, but lack of people who "speak the same language" and who have interesting personalities is devastating. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
See I am an army brat, and I moved to the most unsociable place in the country when I was 16 (Here) Unless your born and bred here you are classed as an outsider, with an English accent? Your fucked! lol
Then as you get older, and still single? The friends you did make drop you like a hot brick because they are now in a couple and therefore see you as a threat.
So it is a no win situation and one I really couldn't give a shit about to be honest, so happy I have the army gene that lets me shrug off all the shit, so I am happy with it being me and cat even though we do piss each other off at times, but happy days! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have many close friends, never have. Plenty that I'm friendly with but that's not the same. I keep myself to myself most of the time anyway so I'm quite happy with only having a very small handful.
I've had some who took advantage and used me so I just cut them out. My life is so much better without them.only because you scoff icecream on the Quay"
 |
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"It's only a problem if it makes you unhappy.
nicecouple - sometimes it does. Being very independent and quite confident is a good thing, but lack of people who "speak the same language" and who have interesting personalities is devastating."
Trust me we absolutely understand that but I do think there are lots of people with interesting personalities.....they just all seem to find us a bit odd. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"See I am an army brat, and I moved to the most unsociable place in the country when I was 16 (Here) Unless your born and bred here you are classed as an outsider, with an English accent? Your fucked! lol
Then as you get older, and still single? The friends you did make drop you like a hot brick because they are now in a couple and therefore see you as a threat.
So it is a no win situation and one I really couldn't give a shit about to be honest, so happy I have the army gene that lets me shrug off all the shit, so I am happy with it being me and cat even though we do piss each other off at times, but happy days! "
You do sound like you live in quite a harsh area! Why don't you move out? Or are you just used to it? |
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We have more acquaintances than close friends that is by our choice as we don`t believe in interfering in others lives where as some of our close friends in the past did in ours so who needs friends like that ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"they just all seem to find us a bit odd.
why is that? any particular reason?
Obviously to us we're normal  .
I don't know what it is and we decided long ago to just be ourselves."
One should always stay as they are, and not change just because others think differently. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"See I am an army brat, and I moved to the most unsociable place in the country when I was 16 (Here) Unless your born and bred here you are classed as an outsider, with an English accent? Your fucked! lol
Then as you get older, and still single? The friends you did make drop you like a hot brick because they are now in a couple and therefore see you as a threat.
So it is a no win situation and one I really couldn't give a shit about to be honest, so happy I have the army gene that lets me shrug off all the shit, so I am happy with it being me and cat even though we do piss each other off at times, but happy days!
You do sound like you live in quite a harsh area! Why don't you move out? Or are you just used to it?"
I don't really, I'm just not from here and born with the can't be arsed gene so I don't really help myself, because over the years I really can't be arsed! Have I thought about moving? Of course I have, but where to? I have a mortgage and a good job....Nothing else to complain about (not on this thread anyway! ) So might be something to do in the future if there is something to entice me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been stabbed in the back so many times by so called friends that I don't have many....however the ones I do have are awesome..you don't have to have a huge circle of friends as long as you have one or two that you trust then that all that matters. "
Same here. I've lost trust in so many 'friends' and even family I keep myself pretty much to myself. I have 2 people I can trust and love them to bits. |
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I have 2 extremely close friends who I love and trust with all my heart. They and their families have taken me on as one of their own and I have an extended family because of that friendship.
I have 3 or 4 close friends that I grew up with, that time has scattered us across the globe, but I know if I ever needed anything I could call on them and they'd be there for me, and I them.
But actual random friends that I can call up and have a coffee with because I'm bored? No, none of those! |
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By *nnyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
A tv programme recently suggested women have friends just for the joy they bring each other whilst men have friends with whom they have a common interest (football, the pub, fishing etc).
A point they made was that women talk face to face while men talk shoulder to shoulder. |
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"they just all seem to find us a bit odd.
why is that? any particular reason?
Obviously to us we're normal .
I don't know what it is and we decided long ago to just be ourselves.
One should always stay as they are, and not change just because others think differently. "
Agreed. |
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"I do not mean fab friends. I mean friends in general, close friends. Is it normal not to have any friends when you are a grown up male or female (apart from the other half of course)?"
your best friend can be your worst enemy, he/she knows more about you than anyone else. PS, welcome to the real world billy no mates,lol . xxxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do not mean fab friends. I mean friends in general, close friends. Is it normal not to have any friends when you are a grown up male or female (apart from the other half of course)?"
For my husband it's perfectly normal - he's never had any close friends (apart from me), and doesn't worry about it. I think a lot of men are different to women in their need of close companionship. I natter for hours on the phone, and his annual conversation to his only sort of friend 300 miles away is "you alright?", "yeah, you alright?" "yeah, alright - bye". It seems simpler than my way sometimes. |
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By *iz78Woman
over a year ago
wirral |
Well as i have not long been stabbed in the back more times than ceaser by a so called good friend. I have decided to forget about having female friends ever again. Far too much drama and bitchiness than i am prepared to deal with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have lots of friends, but I'm much more sociable. x
Seraphina, would you consider those friends of yours as people to chat with/go for a coffee? Or would you say they are proper friends you could talk anything about with."
Well, I have 3 very close friends (one a childhood friend, one I've known 10 years, and the other two) then a handful of mummy friends I have play dates with the kids & occasional nights out with. I think it depends on a few things - I'm an only child & have always made a big effort to make friends, & the area I've lived in for the past 5 years is very friendly & it's been easy to socialise. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a small group of local friends and one lifelong friend, plus some Fab friends who keep me company online, but I rarely, if ever, see them in real life. |
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I have seven best friends, two I've known 37 years three 28 years. Were more like family having been through so much together. Five of us have an annual photo taken each year. There my best friends, then I have another eight friends that I class as good friends |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Funnily enough I have met all my closest friends on fab... "
Was gonna say a similar thing....I don't have masses of close friends but the closest ones I do have I met through here.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think our friends are the family WE CHOOSE....maybe you like being you, and are confident in being who you are...so you don't need a 'friend/family' safety net! |
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By *UNCHBOXMan
over a year ago
folkestone |
I do think your relationships changes with your friends when they get married and have kids, especially if your a bloke.
One of my friends i have known since school used to be always wanting to go out down the pub when he was single, even if i was wasn't up for it he would try to talk me round. Yet when he got married, i been out socialising with him about 6 times in 10 years. I've tried to arrange nights out, but I've almost given up now because he always cancels or never gives me a date he can make it.
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"My dad said to me if at the end of your life you can count 5 good friends on your fingers then you have done well.
The only time you know a true friend is when your in trouble"
I think my family fulfill that role then. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wanted friends at work but it didn't happen. Friends list on fb goes down all the time because I'm not on there as much as used to be. Being stuck in Dorset for two years after a bad breakup hasn't helped. Seeing as most of my friends are in London. Growing up, friends move apart. Some people like things in common, others like to be different. Have one friend that I've told things which would never tell family. Takes all sorts really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do not mean fab friends. I mean friends in general, close friends. Is it normal not to have any friends when you are a grown up male or female (apart from the other half of course)?
Christmas reminds me of my loneliness every year."
Aw that sounds sad x |
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By *drianukMan
over a year ago
Spain, Lancs |
Sorry to hear it Lusty. If you don't mind me saying, things do change. I used to be in the same position but then things just changed. For no obvious reason. Got in with a nice crowd and now I'm blessed x |
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By *arkedMan
over a year ago
Trim |
"I've been stabbed in the back so many times by so called friends that I don't have many....however the ones I do have are awesome..you don't have to have a huge circle of friends as long as you have one or two that you trust then that all that matters. "
That's oh so true. And the ones that stab you in the back never were friends, but why couldn't they be honest from the beginning?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do think your relationships changes with your friends when they get married and have kids, especially if your a bloke.
One of my friends i have known since school used to be always wanting to go out down the pub when he was single, even if i was wasn't up for it he would try to talk me round. Yet when he got married, i been out socialising with him about 6 times in 10 years. I've tried to arrange nights out, but I've almost given up now because he always cancels or never gives me a date he can make it.
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Not just if you're a bloke!
Being single again at my age and having no kids, when most of my friends are in relationships and have kids is much the same.
One of them does make an effort to have nights out with me and i love her for it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't even relate to most people and find their lives droll and unnecessary. Think i'm either a sociopath or autistic, not sure which yet...
Doesn't bother me not to have loads of friends, got a few family i care about and even less friends i care about. Do need to up my social skills either way though.
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