FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Not sure what to do Dirty chat.
Not sure what to do Dirty chat.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Tonight we had a party for staff here and one of the staff said a man keeps saying dirty stuff to her over the phone she deals with most days. Cunt and fuck words allsorts and she is not happy and he thinks its funny .. He is a good looking man and she has a boyfriend and finds it really not nice ... She said maybe say the office heard the calls and the boss is not happy .. Not sure if that will work .. I feel like going and sorting him out myself . |
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she gets these calls while working for you? are you the manager? if so then you really should deal with it. there is no reason a member of staff should have to put up with something that makes them uncomfortable.
can his number be blocked? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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She has to call his office to book times , And he comes out with all this stuff .. my other half own the business . its my girl who work for her dad . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why doesn't she just tell him to stop, and that it's inappropriate and totally unacceptable for him to speak to her that way."
He just see it as fun .
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"She has to call his office to book times , And he comes out with all this stuff .. my other half own the business . its my girl who work for her dad ."
so your step daughter? does her dad know this is happening? can he use another company? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Surely just tell him it's not acceptable to speak to your staff in that manner? How is this man connected to you? You need to deal with this on behalf of your staff. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"in fact why doesn't she just hang up as soon as she realises its him, before he has a chance to say things?"
she has to book times with him at his office .
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"Why doesn't she just tell him to stop, and that it's inappropriate and totally unacceptable for him to speak to her that way.He just see it as fun ."
but its not and he needs to know she isn't finding it funny. |
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He must be told it is not acceptable and that his calls will be recorded in future.
Not entirely sure what his looks and her relationship status have got to do with it
though, he shouldn't be doing it whatever.
Is he a colleague or a client? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"She has to call his office to book times , And he comes out with all this stuff .. my other half own the business . its my girl who work for her dad .
so your step daughter? does her dad know this is happening? can he use another company?"
no my daughter she work for her dad and we had the rest here for a party tonight and told us this . Fist time we have know about it . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Surely as her boss its your responsibility to not let her be in that situation
"
we never new until tonight he was doing this and how upset she found it .. she is a lovely girl and hate upsetting people . |
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"She has to call his office to book times , And he comes out with all this stuff .. my other half own the business . its my girl who work for her dad .
so your step daughter? does her dad know this is happening? can he use another company?no my daughter she work for her dad and we had the rest here for a party tonight and told us this . Fist time we have know about it ."
so as a manager, regardless of relation to the employee, how would you deal with this situation?
I'd like to think that if I was experiencing something like that at work my boss, who isn't related to me, would step in and have a word, remind them that there are other companies they could use if they were not able to alter their behavior |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would speak to him. I wouldn't be happy for any of my staff or clients to use offensive words in any event. Adults or not it's not appropriate language |
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"Next week maybe I should say record the calls is that easy to do ?"
under the DPA you cannot record someone's call without telling them that you are doing it.
you don't need to record them, you just need to tell him you have had complaints and if he doesn't stop you will cease trading with them, |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would speak to him. I wouldn't be happy for any of my staff or clients to use offensive words in any event. Adults or not it's not appropriate language "
well she work for her dad and we have others they know now .. I don't work there myself but I feel very angry about this .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Next week maybe I should say record the calls is that easy to do ?"
You shouldn't need to record the calls. A member of staff has told you that this man is talking dirty to her so he needs to be told to stop. Simple.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Next week maybe I should say record the calls is that easy to do ?
You shouldn't need to record the calls. A member of staff has told you that this man is talking dirty to her so he needs to be told to stop. Simple.
"
Her dad or me ? as I would go mad .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Next week maybe I should say record the calls is that easy to do ?
You shouldn't need to record the calls. A member of staff has told you that this man is talking dirty to her so he needs to be told to stop. Simple.
"
Exactly this. I don't see any dilemma here. The guy needs telling plain and simple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Next week maybe I should say record the calls is that easy to do ?
You shouldn't need to record the calls. A member of staff has told you that this man is talking dirty to her so he needs to be told to stop. Simple.
Her dad or me ? as I would go mad .. "
Whoever is in charge. |
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"Next week maybe I should say record the calls is that easy to do ?
You shouldn't need to record the calls. A member of staff has told you that this man is talking dirty to her so he needs to be told to stop. Simple.
Her dad or me ? as I would go mad .. "
you have already said you have nothing to do with the company so leave it that way.
he only involvement you should have is talking to your daughter and advising her how to deal with this. your husband should deal with the business side of things as it is his business |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Next week maybe I should say record the calls is that easy to do ?
You shouldn't need to record the calls. A member of staff has told you that this man is talking dirty to her so he needs to be told to stop. Simple.
Her dad or me ? as I would go mad ..
Whoever is in charge."
Her dads the boss .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's very sad in this day & age that anyone thinks that's acceptable. It's most definitely NOT a laugh or funny, it's rude, disrespectful, crass and shows what a base mentality he has.
Wether family or not her employer has a legal duty of care especially now she has said it's happening & upsetting her.
Hope she's ok.
Dx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Next week maybe I should say record the calls is that easy to do ?
You shouldn't need to record the calls. A member of staff has told you that this man is talking dirty to her so he needs to be told to stop. Simple.
Her dad or me ? as I would go mad .. "
Whoever's in charge, I think that's her dad so as manager he should have a very stern word with this man and tell him his behaviour towards a member of his staff is completely unacceptable, highly unprofessional and will not be tolerated any further. This is regardless f the fact that the member of staff happens to be his daughter. That fact should not come into it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think we go to his boss or him ..... "
I'd say both! The manager should have a word with him to start with but also tell him that he'll be reporting the matter to his boss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are policies and procedures to deal with this. Her Dad owns the business, so he should tell this Lothario that his behaviour is unacceptable. I would suggest a male takes over the task of talking to him daily if you can't take the business elsewhere ! If anyone swears at me on the phone at work , I inform them it is unacceptable and if they don't stop I will terminate the call. It usually works. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is sexual harassment.
Her manager should call the guy and explain that his chat is inappropriate - have to be careful with wording and this is where 'alleged' comes in.
Does this guy have a boss your husband can go to? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Tomorrow I hope this is sorted ..... I am getting her dad to chat I asked as was so mad I was going to sort this but I new you all would know thanks . x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tomorrow I hope this is sorted ..... I am getting her dad to chat I asked as was so mad I was going to sort this but I new you all would know thanks . x"
I would leave it to him, he's the boss. Hope it'll all be sorted soon and that your daughter won't have to speak to this man again. Good luck x |
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"Tomorrow I hope this is sorted ..... I am getting her dad to chat I asked as was so mad I was going to sort this but I new you all would know thanks . x"
you really shouldn't get involved. if she worked anywhere else you wouldn't storm in and start ringing business contacts and having a go at them would you?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tomorrow I hope this is sorted ..... I am getting her dad to chat I asked as was so mad I was going to sort this but I new you all would know thanks . x
you really shouldn't get involved. if she worked anywhere else you wouldn't storm in and start ringing business contacts and having a go at them would you?
"
Well she is my girl and her dad runs offices but I own half of everything just don't work . I am just mad as been going on for weeks and only just said . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Altho this man does not work directly with your daughter what he is doing constitutes sexual harassment.
Sexual harassment constitutes any unwelcome behaviour of a sexual nature. People respond to situations in different ways. What may seem like an innocent action or remark to one person may be deemed offensive by another and the law sides with the 'victim' not the 'perpetrator'. Since there is no single definition, the test is how the recipient feels about the behaviour.
All of the following constitute verbal sexual harassment:
Comments about appearance, body or clothes
Indecent remarks
Questions or comments about your sex life
Requests for sexual favours
Sexual demands made by someone of the opposite sex, or even your own sex
Promises or threats concerning a person's employment conditions in return for sexual favours
Does your husband's company employ someone to deal with HR, if so they should be aware of how to deal with this. Rather than speaking to the man concerned it would be better put in writing and sent to him by recorded delivery so there is an auditable trail of proof. The letter does not have to be threatening, bring it to his attention that a complaint has been made, ask him to stop and make him aware that should he fail to do so further action, possibly legal, will be taken.
In the meantime, encourage your daughter to tell him that if he continues to speak to her that way she will hang up or arrange for someone else to make the necessary calls in her place.
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"Tomorrow I hope this is sorted ..... I am getting her dad to chat I asked as was so mad I was going to sort this but I new you all would know thanks . x
you really shouldn't get involved. if she worked anywhere else you wouldn't storm in and start ringing business contacts and having a go at them would you?
Well she is my girl and her dad runs offices but I own half of everything just don't work . I am just mad as been going on for weeks and only just said ."
you have said the whole way through this thread that her dad owns the business, not just half of it 
you have also said her dad is her boss....not you. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I would speak to him. I wouldn't be happy for any of my staff or clients to use offensive words in any event. Adults or not it's not appropriate language well she work for her dad and we have others they know now .. I don't work there myself but I feel very angry about this ."
I would have thought your husband would know exactly what to do. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tomorrow I hope this is sorted ..... I am getting her dad to chat I asked as was so mad I was going to sort this but I new you all would know thanks . x
you really shouldn't get involved. if she worked anywhere else you wouldn't storm in and start ringing business contacts and having a go at them would you?
Well she is my girl and her dad runs offices but I own half of everything just don't work . I am just mad as been going on for weeks and only just said .
you have said the whole way through this thread that her dad owns the business, not just half of it
you have also said her dad is her boss....not you."
He runs that I run others .. here .But her dads her boss yes . I don't as have other things I take care off .. and he own them with me too .. |
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"Tomorrow I hope this is sorted ..... I am getting her dad to chat I asked as was so mad I was going to sort this but I new you all would know thanks . x
you really shouldn't get involved. if she worked anywhere else you wouldn't storm in and start ringing business contacts and having a go at them would you?
Well she is my girl and her dad runs offices but I own half of everything just don't work . I am just mad as been going on for weeks and only just said .
you have said the whole way through this thread that her dad owns the business, not just half of it
you have also said her dad is her boss....not you.He runs that I run others .. here .But her dads her boss yes . I don't as have other things I take care off .. and he own them with me too .."
It doesn't really matter who owns what.
The important thing is that it is established what is going on and it's put a stop to. |
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"Tomorrow I hope this is sorted ..... I am getting her dad to chat I asked as was so mad I was going to sort this but I new you all would know thanks . x
you really shouldn't get involved. if she worked anywhere else you wouldn't storm in and start ringing business contacts and having a go at them would you?
Well she is my girl and her dad runs offices but I own half of everything just don't work . I am just mad as been going on for weeks and only just said .
you have said the whole way through this thread that her dad owns the business, not just half of it
you have also said her dad is her boss....not you.He runs that I run others .. here .But her dads her boss yes . I don't as have other things I take care off .. and he own them with me too .."
I see
and does he interfere with the management of the businesses you run? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would speak to him. I wouldn't be happy for any of my staff or clients to use offensive words in any event. Adults or not it's not appropriate language well she work for her dad and we have others they know now .. I don't work there myself but I feel very angry about this .
I would have thought your husband would know exactly what to do."
He is a very easy going man ....... I see her tonight get upset was a staff party and his birthday I just hope he do the right thing and sort it . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tomorrow I hope this is sorted ..... I am getting her dad to chat I asked as was so mad I was going to sort this but I new you all would know thanks . x
you really shouldn't get involved. if she worked anywhere else you wouldn't storm in and start ringing business contacts and having a go at them would you?
Well she is my girl and her dad runs offices but I own half of everything just don't work . I am just mad as been going on for weeks and only just said .
you have said the whole way through this thread that her dad owns the business, not just half of it
you have also said her dad is her boss....not you.He runs that I run others .. here .But her dads her boss yes . I don't as have other things I take care off .. and he own them with me too ..
I see
and does he interfere with the management of the businesses you run?"
yes as its both our money we do up houses to rent and holiday homes . |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I would speak to him. I wouldn't be happy for any of my staff or clients to use offensive words in any event. Adults or not it's not appropriate language well she work for her dad and we have others they know now .. I don't work there myself but I feel very angry about this .
I would have thought your husband would know exactly what to do.He is a very easy going man ....... I see her tonight get upset was a staff party and his birthday I just hope he do the right thing and sort it ."
It doesn't matter how easy going he his, if he employs staff he should know what to di in cases like this. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would speak to him. I wouldn't be happy for any of my staff or clients to use offensive words in any event. Adults or not it's not appropriate language well she work for her dad and we have others they know now .. I don't work there myself but I feel very angry about this .
I would have thought your husband would know exactly what to do.He is a very easy going man ....... I see her tonight get upset was a staff party and his birthday I just hope he do the right thing and sort it .
It doesn't matter how easy going he his, if he employs staff he should know what to di in cases like this."
well its the first time we had something like this . Not sure now if to wright or go to the office . He will sort it .. or maybe get a phone so we can tape this . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would speak to him. I wouldn't be happy for any of my staff or clients to use offensive words in any event. Adults or not it's not appropriate language well she work for her dad and we have others they know now .. I don't work there myself but I feel very angry about this .
I would have thought your husband would know exactly what to do.He is a very easy going man ....... I see her tonight get upset was a staff party and his birthday I just hope he do the right thing and sort it .
It doesn't matter how easy going he his, if he employs staff he should know what to di in cases like this.well its the first time we had something like this . Not sure now if to wright or go to the office . He will sort it .. or maybe get a phone so we can tape this ."
You really can't tape a conversation without warning the caller, and then he won't say anything will he?
A member of staff has complained that a client is talking to her in a sexual and inappropriate way and that this has been going on for however long. Her boss needs to have a word with this man and his boss to tell them that this is unacceptable. |
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"We get a mix here on fab people in all sorts of jobs why I asked here."
If you are going to record it you will need to say so as soon as the phone is answered you know the usual thing "for training and monitoring", that will prevent him saying it presumably, that's one of the reasons recordings are useful (the other being that there is an actual log of what was said in the event if a dispute).
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would speak to him. I wouldn't be happy for any of my staff or clients to use offensive words in any event. Adults or not it's not appropriate language well she work for her dad and we have others they know now .. I don't work there myself but I feel very angry about this .
I would have thought your husband would know exactly what to do.He is a very easy going man ....... I see her tonight get upset was a staff party and his birthday I just hope he do the right thing and sort it .
It doesn't matter how easy going he his, if he employs staff he should know what to di in cases like this.well its the first time we had something like this . Not sure now if to wright or go to the office . He will sort it .. or maybe get a phone so we can tape this .
You really can't tape a conversation without warning the caller, and then he won't say anything will he?
A member of staff has complained that a client is talking to her in a sexual and inappropriate way and that this has been going on for however long. Her boss needs to have a word with this man and his boss to tell them that this is unacceptable."
I will get him to go tomorrow he hates all this stuff .. I am better at face to face but I would go into one .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would speak to him. I wouldn't be happy for any of my staff or clients to use offensive words in any event. Adults or not it's not appropriate language well she work for her dad and we have others they know now .. I don't work there myself but I feel very angry about this .
I would have thought your husband would know exactly what to do.He is a very easy going man ....... I see her tonight get upset was a staff party and his birthday I just hope he do the right thing and sort it .
It doesn't matter how easy going he his, if he employs staff he should know what to di in cases like this.well its the first time we had something like this . Not sure now if to wright or go to the office . He will sort it .. or maybe get a phone so we can tape this .
You really can't tape a conversation without warning the caller, and then he won't say anything will he?
A member of staff has complained that a client is talking to her in a sexual and inappropriate way and that this has been going on for however long. Her boss needs to have a word with this man and his boss to tell them that this is unacceptable.I will get him to go tomorrow he hates all this stuff .. I am better at face to face but I would go into one .."
 He needs to stay calm, tell this man he's received a complaint from a member of staff [not to mention the word daughter] and that his behaviour is not acceptable and he's taking it further, then put the phone down and ring his boss to tell him exactly what's been going on. Good luck |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Why doesn't she just tell him to stop, and that it's inappropriate and totally unacceptable for him to speak to her that way.He just see it as fun ."
It is not fun. It is abuse and, potentially, an offence. He also KNOWS it is not 'just fun'. He is enjoying intimidating and upsetting her. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is all bullshit any person with a brain would go to the police and get someone else to call not post it all on a swingers siteits very real been here 8 years and if I need to know something I ask here .. and I get the truth ... I know now what to do .
Na its bullshit I can smell it ffs if your old man runs stuff he is an incompetent ass not looking after his staff. All all it takes is phone on speaker phone a witness and a call to the police any idiot knows that.she has only just told us and been going on for a month .. and she wish he would stop tonight the first time we new. And she said tell him you could here as was on speaker and maybe he would stop ..I am mad I feel like sorting him out myself but know its not the way to go .
Well you call the police let them deal with it its that simple call the police!"
Tomorrow I will get her dad to chat say its out of order and after its police. I was thinking of taping it but after reading what they said here I cant do that . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can't be very pleasant for your girl Jo, maybe have a polite chat with the guy concern and just tell him that it's not really the correct way to speak to your girl.
Hope you get it sorted out |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh right. Something abusive is happening so where else would you go to for advice but a sex site!
yeah right.  "
It maybe a sex site to a lot but over 8 years I feel I can trust some here .. And yes I know the ones I can . I value there help . |
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"Oh right. Something abusive is happening so where else would you go to for advice but a sex site!
yeah right. "
why not, its clear that there are people on here that are able to help with the situation and what other options are there on a Sunday night?
we don't always just talk about cocks and fannies you know lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh right. Something abusive is happening so where else would you go to for advice but a sex site!
yeah right. "
It's an open forum in the lounge, people ask all sorts of advice, and not all of it is sexually related |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Shocked the first point of call wasn't the police if it was my boss who went to a swingers forum rather than contacting the police I would leave simple as that. |
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"Shocked the first point of call wasn't the police if it was my boss who went to a swingers forum rather than contacting the police I would leave simple as that. "
you would seriously call the police on a Sunday evening to deal with this when the reality is that a word with the guy in question could probably solve this?
I get that its unwelcome comments and I get that its offensive but I think we are being a bit trigger happy calling in the rozzers right now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shocked the first point of call wasn't the police if it was my boss who went to a swingers forum rather than contacting the police I would leave simple as that. "
Why would you call the police? Seems a tad extreme!
And who says this was the 1st point of call?
The OP is only asking a little advice |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Shocked the first point of call wasn't the police if it was my boss who went to a swingers forum rather than contacting the police I would leave simple as that. "
I need to know how to deal with it i was going to tape it until told i cant .. Here its not just sex your a fool to think it is. I have had help of here for other things that i was worried about .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shocked the first point of call wasn't the police if it was my boss who went to a swingers forum rather than contacting the police I would leave simple as that.
you would seriously call the police on a Sunday evening to deal with this when the reality is that a word with the guy in question could probably solve this?
I get that its unwelcome comments and I get that its offensive but I think we are being a bit trigger happy calling in the rozzers right now."
Are you seriously asking that? What do you think the police are there for if they don't deal with someone commuting an offence? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This makes me quite angry. She shouldnt have to put up a mindless idiot like this. I hope it gets sorted out soon. Im assuming she is quite young, not that age is relevant, no one should have to be spoken to in a abusive way. But id be mad if it was my daughter too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shocked the first point of call wasn't the police if it was my boss who went to a swingers forum rather than contacting the police I would leave simple as that.
you would seriously call the police on a Sunday evening to deal with this when the reality is that a word with the guy in question could probably solve this?
I get that its unwelcome comments and I get that its offensive but I think we are being a bit trigger happy calling in the rozzers right now.
Are you seriously asking that? What do you think the police are there for if they don't deal with someone commuting an offence?"
You are quite right Elise you will be getting people saying don't ring up and report a drinking driver on a Sunday next. |
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"She has to call his office to book times , And he comes out with all this stuff .. my other half own the business . its my girl who work for her dad ."
Am not reading beyond this message.
If she is staff & has to call him you are more to blame in knowingly exposing her to sexual harrasment & could be liable in law don't you think? 
I would consult an employment lawyer if my business dealt with this in this way.
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This makes me quite angry. She shouldnt have to put up a mindless idiot like this. I hope it gets sorted out soon. Im assuming she is quite young, not that age is relevant, no one should have to be spoken to in a abusive way. But id be mad if it was my daughter too "
She is yes not that old and never wished to upset no one .
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"She has to call his office to book times , And he comes out with all this stuff .. my other half own the business . its my girl who work for her dad .
Am not reading beyond this message.
If she is staff & has to call him you are more to blame in knowingly exposing her to sexual harrasment & could be liable in law don't you think?
I would consult an employment lawyer if my business dealt with this in this way.
"
well its a first and we will deal with it now i know what to do . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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any employer has a duty of care to his employees...the minute he is aware of it, he has an obligation to deal with it....i dont really understand the difficulty...surely the boss simply calls the man, informs him they will no longer be dealing with him...end of problem.. |
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"She has to call his office to book times , And he comes out with all this stuff .. my other half own the business . its my girl who work for her dad .
Am not reading beyond this message.
If she is staff & has to call him you are more to blame in knowingly exposing her to sexual harrasment & could be liable in law don't you think?
I would consult an employment lawyer if my business dealt with this in this way.
well its a first and we will deal with it now i know what to do ."
Hope it all works out well for you all then, and the girl doesn't have to cope with that again, good luck.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A couple of cogs have dropped in my mind now re reading this. Firstly the bit "He is a good looking man" which one says you have met this guy and if there has been any prior interaction with him on the phone to encourage him to do this. I really don't see the relevance on him being good looking. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"any employer has a duty of care to his employees...the minute he is aware of it, he has an obligation to deal with it....i dont really understand the difficulty...surely the boss simply calls the man, informs him they will no longer be dealing with him...end of problem.."
we only new tonight it was going on and she asked if we could stop it . And we will .
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A couple of cogs have dropped in my mind now re reading this. Firstly the bit "He is a good looking man" which one says you have met this guy and if there has been any prior interaction with him on the phone to encourage him to do this. I really don't see the relevance on him being good looking."
He works at a office she has to call and make bookings for times .. I asked what he looked like and they found him my son on face book .. That's how I see him .. and yes a good looking man .. in my eyes not hers .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of cogs have dropped in my mind now re reading this. Firstly the bit "He is a good looking man" which one says you have met this guy and if there has been any prior interaction with him on the phone to encourage him to do this. I really don't see the relevance on him being good looking."
I had the same thoughts. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would speak to him. I wouldn't be happy for any of my staff or clients to use offensive words in any event. Adults or not it's not appropriate language well she work for her dad and we have others they know now .. I don't work there myself but I feel very angry about this .
I would have thought your husband would know exactly what to do.He is a very easy going man ....... I see her tonight get upset was a staff party and his birthday I just hope he do the right thing and sort it .
It doesn't matter how easy going he his, if he employs staff he should know what to di in cases like this.well its the first time we had something like this . Not sure now if to wright or go to the office . He will sort it .. or maybe get a phone so we can tape this .
Your spelling is terrible !yes i know and when upset it really bad .
I love this response. "
I am not good a spellings. People who know me know this . I have Dyslexia |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of cogs have dropped in my mind now re reading this. Firstly the bit "He is a good looking man" which one says you have met this guy and if there has been any prior interaction with him on the phone to encourage him to do this. I really don't see the relevance on him being good looking.He works at a office she has to call and make bookings for times .. I asked what he looked like and they found him my son on face book .. That's how I see him .. and yes a good looking man .. in my eyes not hers ."
I don't get the relevance of what he looks like and looking him up on face book when did that happen its all very unplesent I feel really sorry for the girl you don't go to work for this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would speak to him. I wouldn't be happy for any of my staff or clients to use offensive words in any event. Adults or not it's not appropriate language well she work for her dad and we have others they know now .. I don't work there myself but I feel very angry about this .
I would have thought your husband would know exactly what to do.He is a very easy going man ....... I see her tonight get upset was a staff party and his birthday I just hope he do the right thing and sort it .
It doesn't matter how easy going he his, if he employs staff he should know what to di in cases like this.well its the first time we had something like this . Not sure now if to wright or go to the office . He will sort it .. or maybe get a phone so we can tape this .
Your spelling is terrible !yes i know and when upset it really bad .
I love this response. I am not good a spellings. People who know me know this . I have Dyslexia"
I liked your response because there was no rise or defensiveness. I wish I could be a bit more like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of cogs have dropped in my mind now re reading this. Firstly the bit "He is a good looking man" which one says you have met this guy and if there has been any prior interaction with him on the phone to encourage him to do this. I really don't see the relevance on him being good looking.He works at a office she has to call and make bookings for times .. I asked what he looked like and they found him my son on face book .. That's how I see him .. and yes a good looking man .. in my eyes not hers .
I don't get the relevance of what he looks like and looking him up on face book when did that happen its all very unplesent I feel really sorry for the girl you don't go to work for this. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of cogs have dropped in my mind now re reading this. Firstly the bit "He is a good looking man" which one says you have met this guy and if there has been any prior interaction with him on the phone to encourage him to do this. I really don't see the relevance on him being good looking.He works at a office she has to call and make bookings for times .. I asked what he looked like and they found him my son on face book .. That's how I see him .. and yes a good looking man .. in my eyes not hers ."
i dont think the OP means anything other than maybe suprised that a young,i assume he's not particularly old, guy needs to do this to get a thrill....same as being suprised if a flasher was a young fit guy...still dont quite get why complete break in any contact is not the immediate reaction....he definitely doesnt think he's 'funny'..as with a flasher he is getting off on causing a woman distress.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A couple of cogs have dropped in my mind now re reading this. Firstly the bit "He is a good looking man" which one says you have met this guy and if there has been any prior interaction with him on the phone to encourage him to do this. I really don't see the relevance on him being good looking.He works at a office she has to call and make bookings for times .. I asked what he looked like and they found him my son on face book .. That's how I see him .. and yes a good looking man .. in my eyes not hers .
I don't get the relevance of what he looks like and looking him up on face book when did that happen its all very unplesent I feel really sorry for the girl you don't go to work for this. "
I just wished to see what he looked like ..was me who asked them to look him up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what EXACTLY has he said and how many times ?she said cunt and fucking and he see it as banter . Just fun but she don't."
Hang on hang on right in what CONTEXT did he say these words???
Did he say "bet your cunt is sweet"
Or "your boss is as right cunt he doesn't pay on time!"
Did he day "its been a fucking busy" day or "bet you love a good fucking"
Which was it????????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what EXACTLY has he said and how many times ?she said cunt and fucking and he see it as banter . Just fun but she don't.
Hang on hang on right in what CONTEXT did he say these words???
Did he say "bet your cunt is sweet"
Or "your boss is as right cunt he doesn't pay on time!"
Did he day "its been a fucking busy" day or "bet you love a good fucking"
Which was it?????????"
i doubt the young woman would have been upset, rather than just offended if he was just swearing in conversation!
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"what EXACTLY has he said and how many times ?she said cunt and fucking and he see it as banter . Just fun but she don't."
I'll say it again. He does not see it as banter. Those words are WAY too strong for banter. They are abusive and he knows it. Do not leave this poor girl at the mercy of this pervert. |
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"Shocked the first point of call wasn't the police if it was my boss who went to a swingers forum rather than contacting the police I would leave simple as that.
you would seriously call the police on a Sunday evening to deal with this when the reality is that a word with the guy in question could probably solve this?
I get that its unwelcome comments and I get that its offensive but I think we are being a bit trigger happy calling in the rozzers right now.
Are you seriously asking that? What do you think the police are there for if they don't deal with someone commuting an offence?"
Yep. Quite serious. I dint see this as an in the moment situation where you need to ring the police 'out of hours' as it were (yes i know they are 24/7 before any smart arses jump in!). If you rang about this now they would simply pass it on to someone to deal with during the day.
As for the smug 'drink driver' comment someone else made....that's an in the moment situation so would call the police any time of day or night about that one |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"what EXACTLY has he said and how many times ?she said cunt and fucking and he see it as banter . Just fun but she don't.
You must stop her calling him and block him calling from start of work tomorrow - as per my comment above!  well she has to call to book times for jobs .. Tomorrow her boss is having a face to face and saying it has to stop."
Call HIS boss and don't let her be exposed to this creep any more. |
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"what EXACTLY has he said and how many times ?she said cunt and fucking and he see it as banter . Just fun but she don't."
It's not sexual harassment then just bad language.
He could have misinterpreted her not objecting to it as acceptance.
A simple mentioning from anyone would probably stop it.
To be honest I think it's best coming from her Jo.
He won't think he's been reported and she can learn how to handle things as an adult rather than asking mum and dad.
She can tell him straight that she doesn't like that kind of language. HERSELF |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what EXACTLY has he said and how many times ?she said cunt and fucking and he see it as banter . Just fun but she don't.
Hang on hang on right in what CONTEXT did he say these words???
Did he say "bet your cunt is sweet"
Or "your boss is as right cunt he doesn't pay on time!"
Did he day "its been a fucking busy" day or "bet you love a good fucking"
Which was it?????????"
Actually its a good point if its just guttural rather than sexual I hadn't thought of that reading through and its easy to comment without this being clarified as it makes a huge difference. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"what EXACTLY has he said and how many times ?she said cunt and fucking and he see it as banter . Just fun but she don't.
It's not sexual harassment then just bad language.
He could have misinterpreted her not objecting to it as acceptance.
A simple mentioning from anyone would probably stop it.
To be honest I think it's best coming from her Jo.
He won't think he's been reported and she can learn how to handle things as an adult rather than asking mum and dad.
She can tell him straight that she doesn't like that kind of language. HERSELF "
He say he bet she has a sweet cunt and go on into fucking words .. |
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"what EXACTLY has he said and how many times ?she said cunt and fucking and he see it as banter . Just fun but she don't.
You must stop her calling him and block him calling from start of work tomorrow - as per my comment above! well she has to call to book times for jobs .. Tomorrow her boss is having a face to face and saying it has to stop."
So let me get this right, her boss is her father or your partner?
Whatever the story, if you insist she calls him again as part of her duty of work....court for you as an employer!
I would, as an employer, call HIS boss and say that you will never accept sexual innuendo nor harassment for your staff! End of!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"what EXACTLY has he said and how many times ?she said cunt and fucking and he see it as banter . Just fun but she don't.
You must stop her calling him and block him calling from start of work tomorrow - as per my comment above! well she has to call to book times for jobs .. Tomorrow her boss is having a face to face and saying it has to stop.
So let me get this right, her boss is her father or your partner?
Whatever the story, if you insist she calls him again as part of her duty of work....court for you as an employer!
I would, as an employer, call HIS boss and say that you will never accept sexual innuendo nor harassment for your staff! End of!
"
Her dad we only new tonight its going on . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what EXACTLY has he said and how many times ?she said cunt and fucking and he see it as banter . Just fun but she don't.
It's not sexual harassment then just bad language.
He could have misinterpreted her not objecting to it as acceptance.
A simple mentioning from anyone would probably stop it.
To be honest I think it's best coming from her Jo.
He won't think he's been reported and she can learn how to handle things as an adult rather than asking mum and dad.
She can tell him straight that she doesn't like that kind of language. HERSELF He say he bet she has a sweet cunt and go on into fucking words .. "
Now I know this is a fabrication for him to say exactly what I typed is one in a thousand thats called auto suggestion and when someone says exactly what you have suggested. I find this thread is leaving a very very nasty taste in my mouth as its a terrible subject and well I am lost for words. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"what EXACTLY has he said and how many times ?she said cunt and fucking and he see it as banter . Just fun but she don't.
It's not sexual harassment then just bad language.
He could have misinterpreted her not objecting to it as acceptance.
A simple mentioning from anyone would probably stop it.
To be honest I think it's best coming from her Jo.
He won't think he's been reported and she can learn how to handle things as an adult rather than asking mum and dad.
She can tell him straight that she doesn't like that kind of language. HERSELF He say he bet she has a sweet cunt and go on into fucking words ..
Now I know this is a fabrication for him to say exactly what I typed is one in a thousand thats called auto suggestion and when someone says exactly what you have suggested. I find this thread is leaving a very very nasty taste in my mouth as its a terrible subject and well I am lost for words. "
I wish it was made up as we have to deal with this crap tomorrow ... how do you think she feel saying that in front of her mum and dad? one thing I don't do is make up crap like this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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no one should have to put up with this...as she's young i would imagine its very difficult to confront him herself..and as an employee she shouldnt have to..its the bosses responsibility..and for her future confidence and peace of mind she needs to know he is being stopped... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't read the whole thread. She should tell him his, behaviour is inappropriate. If she doesn't want to! Perhaps you should step in, and tell him this is unacceptable, and will not be tolerated, at all in the future. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"no one should have to put up with this...as she's young i would imagine its very difficult to confront him herself..and as an employee she shouldnt have to..its the bosses responsibility..and for her future confidence and peace of mind she needs to know he is being stopped..."
It will tomorrow and if it go on I will have to go to police but I hope we can sort it .. But one thing that's come from putting it here I cant tape his calls , I was going to do that .
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"what EXACTLY has he said and how many times ?she said cunt and fucking and he see it as banter . Just fun but she don't.
It's not sexual harassment then just bad language.
He could have misinterpreted her not objecting to it as acceptance.
A simple mentioning from anyone would probably stop it.
To be honest I think it's best coming from her Jo.
He won't think he's been reported and she can learn how to handle things as an adult rather than asking mum and dad.
She can tell him straight that she doesn't like that kind of language. HERSELF "
Nope sorry, she is a young employee being subjected to unwanted sexual harassment in the course of her employment.
Now that she has brought it to the attention of her parent(s) and employers it must stop NOW!
No if, but nor why, nor squirming(!) |
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"what EXACTLY has he said and how many times ?she said cunt and fucking and he see it as banter . Just fun but she don't.
It's not sexual harassment then just bad language.
He could have misinterpreted her not objecting to it as acceptance.
A simple mentioning from anyone would probably stop it.
To be honest I think it's best coming from her Jo.
He won't think he's been reported and she can learn how to handle things as an adult rather than asking mum and dad.
She can tell him straight that she doesn't like that kind of language. HERSELF
Nope sorry, she is a young employee being subjected to unwanted sexual harassment in the course of her employment.
Now that she has brought it to the attention of her parent(s) and employers it must stop NOW!
No if, but nor why, nor squirming(!) "
At the time I wrote that it wasn't sexual harassment.
How old is she ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"what EXACTLY has he said and how many times ?she said cunt and fucking and he see it as banter . Just fun but she don't.
It's not sexual harassment then just bad language.
He could have misinterpreted her not objecting to it as acceptance.
A simple mentioning from anyone would probably stop it.
To be honest I think it's best coming from her Jo.
He won't think he's been reported and she can learn how to handle things as an adult rather than asking mum and dad.
She can tell him straight that she doesn't like that kind of language. HERSELF
Nope sorry, she is a young employee being subjected to unwanted sexual harassment in the course of her employment.
Now that she has brought it to the attention of her parent(s) and employers it must stop NOW!
No if, but nor why, nor squirming(!)
At the time I wrote that it wasn't sexual harassment.
How old is she ? "
23 and had a boyfriend 5 years . I do see it as sexual harassment . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it most definitely is sexual harrassment and of a very insidious type...he obviously knows she is young, and if she didnt react by telling him to f off the first time he did it,then he is enjoying knowing he is upsetting her...sounds like the type of creep who feels safer on the end of a phone...doubt he'd say these things to a womans face! |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"what EXACTLY has he said and how many times ?she said cunt and fucking and he see it as banter . Just fun but she don't.
I'll say it again. He does not see it as banter. Those words are WAY too strong for banter. They are abusive and he knows it. Do not leave this poor girl at the mercy of this pervert. "
Why is he a pervert for swearing? Surely it is all about context. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"what EXACTLY has he said and how many times ?she said cunt and fucking and he see it as banter . Just fun but she don't.
Hang on hang on right in what CONTEXT did he say these words???
Did he say "bet your cunt is sweet"
Or "your boss is as right cunt he doesn't pay on time!"
Did he day "its been a fucking busy" day or "bet you love a good fucking"
Which was it?????????"
This
If he was just swearing as suggested by the answer given then that is totally different to sexual harassment.
Both can be dealt with by the Employer |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
".
She can tell him straight that she doesn't like that kind of language. HERSELF He say he bet she has a sweet cunt and go on into fucking words .. "
How is that for a coincidence, exactly what was given as an example.
Whatever was said, I think your husband needs to swot up on safeguards for his employees. I am guessing because it was your daughter it is upsetting more than for someone else but whoever it is they need protecting in work, whether that is unacceptable swearing or sexual harassment. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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".
She can tell him straight that she doesn't like that kind of language. HERSELF He say he bet she has a sweet cunt and go on into fucking words ..
How is that for a coincidence, exactly what was given as an example.
Whatever was said, I think your husband needs to swot up on safeguards for his employees. I am guessing because it was your daughter it is upsetting more than for someone else but whoever it is they need protecting in work, whether that is unacceptable swearing or sexual harassment. "
He is going to his workplace and taking him aside and saying if this don't stop he will then go to his boss. I just hope he is not doing it to others too . All I know is I would not keep my cool as I am mad about all this . No one in a workplace should have to put up with it no one. |
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