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By *ottsguy44 OP Man
over a year ago
nottinghamshire |
paddy was watching babestation anyway he rings the number at the bottom off the screen.What can i do for for u sexy the lady ask?. Paddy u wouldnt mind jumping behind the couch there sexy.The lady confused and asked why that sexy?.Paddy replies me wife is comming down the stairs and i cant find the fecking remote. |
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By *ottsguy44 OP Man
over a year ago
nottinghamshire |
The wife was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the T'shirt that she
normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly,
"You've got to make love to me this very moment."
My eyes lit up as I thought, "I am either still
dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day."
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned
to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "what
was that about..."
She replied,
"The egg timer is broken." |
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By *ottsguy44 OP Man
over a year ago
nottinghamshire |
A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra. The man asks, "Why are you doing that? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?" The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep." The man says, "And the Viagra?" "Keeps him from falling out of bed." |
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By *ottsguy44 OP Man
over a year ago
nottinghamshire |
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives.
One woman said: “I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does.”
The second woman giggled and confessed: “I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft.”
The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey until her friend asked: “Say, what do you call your husband?”
She frowned and said: “The postman.”
“Why the postman?”
“Because he always delivers late, and half the time it’s in the wrong box.” |
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