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Seven Kinds Of Sex...

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By *ickens Cider OP   Man  over a year ago

taunton

Found the following on my travels today and it gave me a giggle...

Seven Kinds Of Sex

The 1st kind of sex is called ... Smurf Sex.

This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have

sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called ... Kitchen Sex.

This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you

are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called ... Bedroom Sex.

This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex

has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called ... Hallway Sex.

This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you

pass each other in the hallway you both say ... 'F... You.'

The 5th kind of sex is called ... Religious Sex.

Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun

at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called ... Courtroom Sex.

This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to

court and screws you in front of everyone.

The 7th kind of sex is called ... Social Security Sex.

You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You missed

9) any time any place

whats sex

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have a mixture of 1 / 2 / and 3 sex all on the same night

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have 1), 2) & 3) with my current wife and 4), 5), 6) & 7) with my first wife.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Found the following on my travels today and it gave me a giggle...

Seven Kinds Of Sex

The 1st kind of sex is called ... Smurf Sex.

This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have

sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called ... Kitchen Sex.

This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you

are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called ... Bedroom Sex.

This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex

has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called ... Hallway Sex.

This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you

pass each other in the hallway you both say ... 'F... You.'

The 5th kind of sex is called ... Religious Sex.

Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun

at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called ... Courtroom Sex.

This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to

court and screws you in front of everyone.

The 7th kind of sex is called ... Social Security Sex.

You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself. "

thought religious sex was the one where you hear "oh god" several times?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

thought religious sex was the one where you hear "oh god" several times?"

No, that's ATM Sex.... when you get the the cashpoint and see your bank balance and realised she'd fucked you true and proper.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

doggy sex? you beg and she plays dead.....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"doggy sex? you beg and she plays dead....."

thougt that was dodgy?

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By *aucy3Couple  over a year ago

glasgow


"doggy sex? you beg and she plays dead.....

thougt that was dodgy? "

if she plays dead,just go for it.youve only got yourself to satisfy,happy days.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"doggy sex? you beg and she plays dead.....

thougt that was dodgy?

if she plays dead,just go for it.youve only got yourself to satisfy,happy days. "

suppose one time rigour would not be of concern?

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By *ushroom7Man  over a year ago

Bradford


"doggy sex? you beg and she plays dead.....

thougt that was dodgy?

if she plays dead,just go for it.youve only got yourself to satisfy,happy days. "

or if you're really lucky you discover she quite likes anal

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"doggy sex? you beg and she plays dead.....

thougt that was dodgy?

if she plays dead,just go for it.youve only got yourself to satisfy,happy days.

or if you're really lucky you discover she quite likes anal"

analogy in short?

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By *aucy3Couple  over a year ago

glasgow


"doggy sex? you beg and she plays dead.....

thougt that was dodgy?

if she plays dead,just go for it.youve only got yourself to satisfy,happy days.

suppose one time rigour would not be of concern? "

anything that makes it tighter,would be a good thing.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"doggy sex? you beg and she plays dead.....

thougt that was dodgy?

if she plays dead,just go for it.youve only got yourself to satisfy,happy days.

suppose one time rigour would not be of concern?

anything that makes it tighter,would be a good thing. "

Boa Constricta?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Cancellation sex.

Thats when your on for a meet and they cancel leaving you with blue balls and a need for a wank

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

group sex = ma palm and her 5 lovely daughters

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