FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Difficult one..
Difficult one..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Your partner passes away, someone has a photo of you both together (possibly even the last photo of you both together)..
would you prefer to have the photo when their death is raw or a few weeks after?
Sorry to be a bit grim on a Friday night
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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without doubt I'd like to see the photo straight away.
I can't explain it very well but when it's all still so raw I would cope better at seeing the photo now than a few weeks down the line.
Hope that helps x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I take loads of photo's, only reason i'm cautious is that i took pictures of anything i thought would make a wicked picture at an event id organized, was only afterwards when i was given a list of who i was allowed to photograph i saw this person was on the 'no' list
such an amazing sneaky picture though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I take loads of photo's, only reason i'm cautious is that i took pictures of anything i thought would make a wicked picture at an event id organized, was only afterwards when i was given a list of who i was allowed to photograph i saw this person was on the 'no' list
such an amazing sneaky picture though "
The mind boggles.
And not in a good way.
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"I take loads of photo's, only reason i'm cautious is that i took pictures of anything i thought would make a wicked picture at an event id organized, was only afterwards when i was given a list of who i was allowed to photograph i saw this person was on the 'no' list
such an amazing sneaky picture though "
and now that persons dead?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I take loads of photo's, only reason i'm cautious is that i took pictures of anything i thought would make a wicked picture at an event id organized, was only afterwards when i was given a list of who i was allowed to photograph i saw this person was on the 'no' list
such an amazing sneaky picture though and now that persons dead?
"
correct. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I take loads of photo's, only reason i'm cautious is that i took pictures of anything i thought would make a wicked picture at an event id organized, was only afterwards when i was given a list of who i was allowed to photograph i saw this person was on the 'no' list
such an amazing sneaky picture though "
That changes things quite significantly. 
Slightly incredulous that you take 'sneaky' photos against people's expressed consent  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I take loads of photo's, only reason i'm cautious is that i took pictures of anything i thought would make a wicked picture at an event id organized, was only afterwards when i was given a list of who i was allowed to photograph i saw this person was on the 'no' list
such an amazing sneaky picture though
That changes things quite significantly.
Slightly incredulous that you take 'sneaky' photos against people's expressed consent "
i wasnt aware of the list until my manager gave it to me afterwards. i say sneaky, perhaps thats the wrong word.. i openly had my camera around my neck i just prefer natural unstaged photography |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I take loads of photo's, only reason i'm cautious is that i took pictures of anything i thought would make a wicked picture at an event id organized, was only afterwards when i was given a list of who i was allowed to photograph i saw this person was on the 'no' list
such an amazing sneaky picture though
That changes things quite significantly.
Slightly incredulous that you take 'sneaky' photos against people's expressed consent "
From how I read it, she took the pic before she found out she shouldn't take the pic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I take loads of photo's, only reason i'm cautious is that i took pictures of anything i thought would make a wicked picture at an event id organized,
such an amazing sneaky picture though
That changes things quite significantly.
Slightly incredulous that you take 'sneaky' photos against people's expressed consent "
"it was only afterwards when i was given a list of who i was allowed to photograph i saw this person was on the 'no' list."
Incongrous and incongrouser.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I take loads of photo's, only reason i'm cautious is that i took pictures of anything i thought would make a wicked picture at an event id organized, was only afterwards when i was given a list of who i was allowed to photograph i saw this person was on the 'no' list
such an amazing sneaky picture though
That changes things quite significantly.
Slightly incredulous that you take 'sneaky' photos against people's expressed consent
From how I read it, she took the pic before she found out she shouldn't take the pic."
As event organiser I'm assuming she new the list existed.
And even if she didn't why wasn't it deleted? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pic should have been deleted when list read.
valid point.. "
I get that I do....but I also think how many times do we wish we'd taken more photos of our loved ones, I know I do....so to be presented with one maybe a comfort to that person. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I take loads of photo's, only reason i'm cautious is that i took pictures of anything i thought would make a wicked picture at an event id organized, was only afterwards when i was given a list of who i was allowed to photograph i saw this person was on the 'no' list
such an amazing sneaky picture though
That changes things quite significantly.
Slightly incredulous that you take 'sneaky' photos against people's expressed consent
From how I read it, she took the pic before she found out she shouldn't take the pic.
As event organiser I'm assuming she new the list existed.
And even if she didn't why wasn't it deleted?"
hands up i was in the wrong,, i just offloaded all images onto the work laptop and remembered the picture earlier
again my dilemma still exists (wrongly) i have the last image of this couple together
delete and pretend it never happened or potentially give a grieving woman comfort? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pic should have been deleted when list read.
valid point..
I get that I do....but I also think how many times do we wish we'd taken more photos of our loved ones, I know I do....so to be presented with one maybe a comfort to that person."
Maybe, but would you really love the fact that the story of it has been bragged about on a swingers website?
Initial elation replaced by vomiting maybe? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
As event organiser I'm assuming she new the list existed.
And even if she didn't why wasn't it deleted?"
I agree. Must have been a reason he didn't want to be photographed. Potential backlash here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Soon as I saw the list I would of deleted the picture, there must of been a reason they where on the no list
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believe the lists were to do with publications and promotions. obviously there images were not used for that purpose
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I take loads of photo's, only reason i'm cautious is that i took pictures of anything i thought would make a wicked picture at an event id organized, was only afterwards when i was given a list of who i was allowed to photograph i saw this person was on the 'no' list
such an amazing sneaky picture though
That changes things quite significantly.
Slightly incredulous that you take 'sneaky' photos against people's expressed consent
From how I read it, she took the pic before she found out she shouldn't take the pic.
As event organiser I'm assuming she new the list existed.
And even if she didn't why wasn't it deleted?
hands up i was in the wrong,, i just offloaded all images onto the work laptop and remembered the picture earlier
again my dilemma still exists (wrongly) i have the last image of this couple together
delete and pretend it never happened or potentially give a grieving woman comfort? "
If this was a work event I'd delete it. You are assuming she'll be greatful but she could be furious.
At the very least get the backing of a manager and if you aren't prepared to seek that backing that probably answers your dilemma |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Aw fuck, sell it to the newspapers and make a bundle. Copyright resides with the photographer regradless of circumstances. Unless it's a baboon where i think the jury is out on that one. With a little effort you could invent a story that they'd buy for a while.
Cash in.
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Oh, I thought this was a pic for you. I would discuss this with the manager/party organiser. You are right to state that maybe the woman would want a pic of her and her partner together, but best make sure you haven't fucked up doing it. |
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By *wosWoman
over a year ago
east london |
You really can't go deleting it ... need to message and say it was taken ,and ask if they'd like it as the list protocol says all pics need to be checked and verified , and as such it should be deleted, but in the circumstances etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You really can't go deleting it ... need to message and say it was taken ,and ask if they'd like it as the list protocol says all pics need to be checked and verified , and as such it should be deleted, but in the circumstances etc"
that's a bloody good suggestion tbh  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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because the form is about promotional purposes and how they wanted to opt out i have respected that.. the image wasnt used for media im hoping i will be ok.
will still check with my manager obviously. thanks for all the messages though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pic should have been deleted when list read.
valid point..
I get that I do....but I also think how many times do we wish we'd taken more photos of our loved ones, I know I do....so to be presented with one maybe a comfort to that person."
Couldn't agree more
S x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would contact her and say it was taken in error and was going to be deleted but that in the circumstances you wondered if she'd want to have a copy before you do so."
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"I would contact her and say it was taken in error and was going to be deleted but that in the circumstances you wondered if she'd want to have a copy before you do so."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would contact her and say it was taken in error and was going to be deleted but that in the circumstances you wondered if she'd want to have a copy before you do so. "
My 2p worth - strikes me that if your manager was aware of the list prior to the event and knew you were taking photos it is he/she who is in the wrong rather than you since you were unaware.
I agree with the poster above, liaise with your manager and then ask the
?lady concerned whether she would like the photo or maybe suggest that it is saved to a disc (or whatever the alternative is!) and given to her before the original is deleted. That way she can decide for herself when the time is right to look at the photo and in what format she wishes to keep it. |
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i would contact the person asking if they would like the original as only received the non disclosure for promotional pics being used
as pics was taken before non disclosure your not aware of this so pics can be taken
thereafter you can delete the ones no longer used |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would contact her and say it was taken in error and was going to be deleted but that in the circumstances you wondered if she'd want to have a copy before you do so."
This is exactly what I would do. I believe things happen for a reason, give her the chance to say yes or no, and if no ask her if she wants it permanently deleted, that way you're still giving her full rights over the photo. Also maybe get backing from a manager to keep you right x |
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Can we clarify this was you at work .. not a sex party or anything..
Not a couple that should not have been together because of significant others. Perhaps speak to a manager. If I remember correctly you work with the elderly. so if it is a pic of a guy and a lady who was his friend and one has now passed I would say it would be appreciated.
not clear why someone would be on a list not to have fotos taken. would this be the persons decision or their families choice that pics were not taken. hope you sort it out..
I know if it were a freind of mine that passed and someone had a foto of us together I would treasure it.  |
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