FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Are you ever honest why you won’t meet?
Are you ever honest why you won’t meet?
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By *ig bad OP Man
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
Sometimes you see the pictures, or the way someone sends messages, or what they send you and you think…&%£$!.... I don’t want to get involved with them! 
So what’s your next step?
1/ Are you honest and say why?
2/ Ignore and not reply?
3/.Give a made up excuse?
4/ Or something else?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Usually give a 'polite no', usually because they are not in my preferred age group, local etc.
If they return and ask 'may I ask why'? I clarify that they do not meet what my profile asks for. Or simply, I am not attracted to you, sorry. |
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"hi, must say normally very honest!! why i dont want to meet!!
Do you get backlash for being honest though?"
usually I just send " thanks for the message but not interested..happy swinging xx" sometimes I get a thanks for replying...sometimes nothing back and sometime "well...why aren't you interested then?" so then I will try to diplomatically say why..if they persist, then they get blocked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I make it clear what I'm looking for and say I wont answer if they are outside that.
If however, they meet my criteria but there isn't any chemistry, or they do not appeal to me sexually, I'd tell them if asked, but I think it's usually clear whether they rock my boat or not, so few actually do. |
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this amazes me, normally all we get in previous threads on this subject is i get so many messages i just delete them without reading or ignore them.
now suddenly we all responding to messages why we will not meet people
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"this amazes me, normally all we get in previous threads on this subject is i get so many messages i just delete them without reading or ignore them.
now suddenly we all responding to messages why we will not meet people
"
I think you missed the 2 posts that did say they ignored and deleted. |
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I'm usually diplomatic, just say that I don't think we'd be compatible, I don't think there's much to be gained by being brutally honest! Sometimes I get a 'why not' message back and still reply in a nice way - usually not a problem. Z |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"this amazes me, normally all we get in previous threads on this subject is i get so many messages i just delete them without reading or ignore them.
now suddenly we all responding to messages why we will not meet people
"
Maybe the people who usually do that haven't come online yet... ahem...
In fact many of the forums big hitters aren't commenting today  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"this amazes me, normally all we get in previous threads on this subject is i get so many messages i just delete them without reading or ignore them.
now suddenly we all responding to messages why we will not meet people
"
It isn't what you always get, there are lots of people who answer every mail, including us.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we usually just say that they are not what we are looking for. the one time we give a specific reason is when people copy and paste their profile as a mail.in our opinion its unimaginative and maybe a little lazy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes you see the pictures, or the way someone sends messages, or what they send you and you think…&%£$!.... I don’t want to get involved with them!
So what’s your next step?
1/ Are you honest and say why?
2/ Ignore and not reply?
3/.Give a made up excuse?
4/ Or something else?
"
ill be honest an say  |
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By *omer47Man
over a year ago
leigh |
if i got a reply it would be nice.  i always make the effort with my messages,but still get nothing back.i just think its rude because it only takes a minute to reply,& it dont cost you anything....thats my opinion anyway.  |
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i try to be polite and reply to messages sent to me but sometimes i do ignore, either if i have lot of messages to reply to or if i am in a grump
but what i hate is the people that question why you wont meet them - i even had one guy say it was a bit odd that i wouldnt meet him and asked why i was on this site. to which i replied 'why?? does everyone on this site have to meet you???' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if i reply to decline i am always diplomatically honest. This has led to some messages asking why and even one asking me if I was really so shallow as to decline on the basis of his face pic.
I replied that yes it was as no matter how nice a person he may be, he did nothing for me sexually.
We cannot fancy everyone (or Vin Diesel would be mine!!!!) and being a swinger does not mean we are blind, stupid, desperate or accomodating just to make everyone happy!
vol
xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I'm unsure if were getting along before photos etc are exchanged I find it best to offer the get out - if I'm not your type sort of thing. It saves embarassment & everyone is entitled to his/her opinion - stops the bull & no one gets offended
Still havn't found the correct font yet!!!! Haha |
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"If I'm unsure if were getting along before photos etc are exchanged I find it best to offer the get out - if I'm not your type sort of thing. It saves embarassment & everyone is entitled to his/her opinion - stops the bull & no one gets offended
Still havn't found the correct font yet!!!! Haha"
I do the same thing as I know that often I may be...too much woman for men to handle...lol so I let them know that if I am not to their taste to just say so and I will not be offened as I know that not everyone likes a larger lady like myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if i reply to decline i am always diplomatically honest. This has led to some messages asking why and even one asking me if I was really so shallow as to decline on the basis of his face pic.
I replied that yes it was as no matter how nice a person he may be, he did nothing for me sexually.
We cannot fancy everyone (or Vin Diesel would be mine!!!!) and being a swinger does not mean we are blind, stupid, desperate or accomodating just to make everyone happy!
vol
xx"
wouldnt worry about it vol hun
im shallow an no feart 2 admit it |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
Another shallow one here lol......in the past present and future i do the following
1. tell people i have no intention of meeting them
2. Give a totally honest answer if asked why
3. Make no apologies for turning people down
4. Do the above in a polite respectful fashion, unless pushy buggers continue to moan |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just reply I am not interested without giving a reason.
If the other person comes back and asks why, then I shall tell them what I do not like about their profile, e.g. listing telephone number shouts desparate to me etc...
I believe in being honest.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I usually reply with " Thanks for the message but not interested have fun" if I dont like the pick or the profile is naff. If they are out of my profile criteria I usually say " Thanks for the message but re read my profile for your answer" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are both wimps and dont really tell people that we are not interested in them as we really dont like to offend. We will just reply back and say thanks for the message but we dont give any indication that we are interested.
If they again message us we will say that we are busy with work (which sometimes is the case) if they keep messaging we tend to not reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We like to think we are as diplomatic as much as we are honest
Baring in mind that a diplomat is someone who can tell you to fuck off, in such a way, that you are happy to go.
The hardest people to reject are the ones you have already met, especially when your previous meets with them have gone "ok". But we always find the words.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most times i delete, but if someone has made an effort then a polite no-thanks will be sent.
What does annoy me is people who have not read my profile.....these are deleted 99% of the time.
Persistant requests lead to being blocked, I have blocked a few, one chap I blocked 3 or 4 times as if i said no he would swear and call me names etc, he has since opened another profile and hasnt really bothered me since... |
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If it is someone I have already been talking to, I am usually pretty honest and say something like...
Having read your last message I don't think it would be a good idea to meet as I have completely lost interest. Happy hunting.
Thanks for the pic, I know I am shallow but you are just not my type. Happy hunting.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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after a few abusive ones, i opt to delete.
if they seek an answer my response will be dependent on what the reason is.
i wont ever comment on someone personally as i think, just because it doesnt work for me, doesnt mean they should change that as it might work for someone else and i'm making suggestions that match what i expect, not what reflects the individual (does that make sense?!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are both wimps and dont really tell people that we are not interested in them as we really dont like to offend. We will just reply back and say thanks for the message but we dont give any indication that we are interested.
If they again message us we will say that we are busy with work (which sometimes is the case) if they keep messaging we tend to not reply "
but be nice whimps. I think this communicates without upsetting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when i first went to a club i got chatting outside in the smoking area and was given the following advice about what to do if you don't want to meet "or play"
just say no thank you! no reasons or they can argue with you - if they persist tell someome in authority (or block them on here) |
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By *ig bad OP Man
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"hi, must say normally very honest!! why i dont want to meet!!
Do you get backlash for being honest though?
usually I just send " thanks for the message but not interested..happy swinging xx" sometimes I get a thanks for replying...sometimes nothing back and sometime "well...why aren't you interested then?" so then I will try to diplomatically say why..if they persist, then they get blocked"
Its just that a lot have said to me its better not to respond as peeps take it as a green light and keep mailing. I don't hold with this reply = polite stuff though if its unsolicited mail. It is a difficult one i have to admit all round though. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Fabio how can you not be arsed to block someone? It takes a second! K is thinking you like the attention lol "
its a long long story..... so I just let them be, if I block em them they know they get to me... lol
sod it the logic is sound in my head!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes you see the pictures, or the way someone sends messages, or what they send you and you think…&%£$!.... I don’t want to get involved with them!
So what’s your next step?
1/ Are you honest and say why?
2/ Ignore and not reply?
3/.Give a made up excuse?
4/ Or something else?
"
Option 2. I see no point in soliciting further messages from someone we'd never want to meet in a million years, but if they messaged again, then I'd simply tell them we're not interested. A 3rd message would get a very polite, "Fuck off" type response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes you see the pictures, or the way someone sends messages, or what they send you and you think…&%£$!.... I don’t want to get involved with them!
So what’s your next step?
1/ Are you honest and say why?
2/ Ignore and not reply?
3/.Give a made up excuse?
4/ Or something else?
"
I am honest with some especially if they have mad an obvious effort. Others who send the same message every week I just ignore. I do find though saying sorry I am not interested can create its own problems with "Why?" and "go on give me a chance" messages returned. With some people any reply is taken as a green light so you learn to just delete some messages as its less problematic.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its nice to get a no thanks but i do know why many women here just delete so cool with what ever i get or not.
I have seen pictures of people messaging me and though no thanks and i always will just give a polite on thank you when i have to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am always honest when I reply to my emails.
I will normally not explain my reasons though unless asked but I will be polite not abusive.
Had a lad today that didnt like the refusal and decided to get very abusive towards how we like to play.
Didnt rise to it though, gave a polite explanation and then reported him. He replied again and got reported again.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Although it's nice to be honest, and it's nice to even manage a reply at all, both instances do have a tendency to open the door to a) begging (go on, you wont be dissapointed!), b) abuse (yeah well screw you you weirdo) and c) having to explain in detail (I'd love to know why you won't meet me...).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just say to people if i dont want to meet them
'Sorry your not what im looking for'
covers everything that and i really dont feel that you need to get personal and point out what you dont like about them
Most just accept that and reply back saying.....thanks for the reply, good luck etc, tho you do get some that want to know why they are not what your looking for, in that case i will tell them |
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Big difference between being straight with people, and being tactless.
Funnily enough, the people who "Tell people how it is" are always the first ones to get offended when anyone tells them how unpleasant they are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Big difference between being straight with people, and being tactless.
Funnily enough, the people who "Tell people how it is" are always the first ones to get offended when anyone tells them how unpleasant they are."
I would agree with you on that. A lack of tact and being brutal is often covered up with saying you tell it like it is. Being honest is good as long as you don't offend people. |
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