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Worst mishap whilst having sex??
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I have six hours on watch in west Africa so strap yourselfs in lol.
My worst mishap was when I was having sex on a concrete floor in Jersey, my wee man slipped out and on a monumental thrust it rubbed along the floor promptly taking the skin clean off one side of my cock. I carried on like a trooper but the the next morning OUCH. Your turn let's have a laugh or a cringe  "
I'm not sure I can beat that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well I have six hours on watch in west Africa so strap yourselfs in lol.
My worst mishap was when I was having sex on a concrete floor in Jersey, my wee man slipped out and on a monumental thrust it rubbed along the floor promptly taking the skin clean off one side of my cock. I carried on like a trooper but the the next morning OUCH. Your turn let's have a laugh or a cringe
not unless you have a cock ?? Lol
I'm not sure I can beat that."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mate had a 'shart' (genuine mate, not a 'me', mate!!). Got up and legged it only to find he'd left his flat keys at the lass' house. Had to face her at college next day to claim them back.
B |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My mate had a 'shart' (genuine mate, not a 'me', mate!!). Got up and legged it only to find he'd left his flat keys at the lass' house. Had to face her at college next day to claim them back.
B"
now are you sure this was a mate your amongst friends now lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I have six hours on watch in west Africa so strap yourselfs in lol.
My worst mishap was when I was having sex on a concrete floor in Jersey, my wee man slipped out and on a monumental thrust it rubbed along the floor promptly taking the skin clean off one side of my cock. I carried on like a trooper but the the next morning OUCH. Your turn let's have a laugh or a cringe
not unless you have a cock ?? Lol
I'm not sure I can beat that."
One of my wishes....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met with a lovely lady a while back. At start of meet she wanted me to pop her anal toy beads thingy in. Towards end of meet she wanted me to fuck her bum. Who am I to argue! So I slowly and gently pull the anal toy out and after a long hilarious fart her lunch soon followed. TAXI!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met with a lovely lady a while back. At start of meet she wanted me to pop her anal toy beads thingy in. Towards end of meet she wanted me to fuck her bum. Who am I to argue! So I slowly and gently pull the anal toy out and after a long hilarious fart her lunch soon followed. TAXI!!!!"
Oh no....no..no...no!!!!
Anal douche for goodness sake.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met with a lovely lady a while back. At start of meet she wanted me to pop her anal toy beads thingy in. Towards end of meet she wanted me to fuck her bum. Who am I to argue! So I slowly and gently pull the anal toy out and after a long hilarious fart her lunch soon followed. TAXI!!!!"
That's why I douche and remove my own beads.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mine involves a magic wand, a small fire and quite a lot of swearing...
Was in the middle of a rather enjoyable 69, she was hitting all the right places and she had her magic wand plunged in and was massaging me with it, she passed it round to me and I proceeded to hit the right spots with it. It didn't take long for her to cum all over me and the toy... I didn't realise they weren't waterproof!
Pop, flash and then a small fire. How we switched it off and put the fire out without getting a shock I will never know. needless to say we both didn't want to carry on!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I met with a lovely lady a while back. At start of meet she wanted me to pop her anal toy beads thingy in. Towards end of meet she wanted me to fuck her bum. Who am I to argue! So I slowly and gently pull the anal toy out and after a long hilarious fart her lunch soon followed. TAXI!!!!
Oh no....no..no...no!!!!
Anal douche for goodness sake.
"
what did she have for lunch lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met with a lovely lady a while back. At start of meet she wanted me to pop her anal toy beads thingy in. Towards end of meet she wanted me to fuck her bum. Who am I to argue! So I slowly and gently pull the anal toy out and after a long hilarious fart her lunch soon followed. TAXI!!!!
Oh no....no..no...no!!!!
Anal douche for goodness sake.
what did she have for lunch lol"
I'm guessing quite a lot!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Mine involves a magic wand, a small fire and quite a lot of swearing...
Was in the middle of a rather enjoyable 69, she was hitting all the right places and she had her magic wand plunged in and was massaging me with it, she passed it round to me and I proceeded to hit the right spots with it. It didn't take long for her to cum all over me and the toy... I didn't realise they weren't waterproof!
Pop, flash and then a small fire. How we switched it off and put the fire out without getting a shock I will never know. needless to say we both didn't want to carry on!!!"
that's one way of losing your eye brows whilst having sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met with a lovely lady a while back. At start of meet she wanted me to pop her anal toy beads thingy in. Towards end of meet she wanted me to fuck her bum. Who am I to argue! So I slowly and gently pull the anal toy out and after a long hilarious fart her lunch soon followed. TAXI!!!!
Oh no....no..no...no!!!!
Anal douche for goodness sake.
what did she have for lunch lol"
Ya weirdo.....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mine involves a magic wand, a small fire and quite a lot of swearing...
Was in the middle of a rather enjoyable 69, she was hitting all the right places and she had her magic wand plunged in and was massaging me with it, she passed it round to me and I proceeded to hit the right spots with it. It didn't take long for her to cum all over me and the toy... I didn't realise they weren't waterproof!
Pop, flash and then a small fire. How we switched it off and put the fire out without getting a shock I will never know. needless to say we both didn't want to carry on!!! that's one way of losing your eye brows whilst having sex"
It singed a fair bit more than that!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met with a lovely lady a while back. At start of meet she wanted me to pop her anal toy beads thingy in. Towards end of meet she wanted me to fuck her bum. Who am I to argue! So I slowly and gently pull the anal toy out and after a long hilarious fart her lunch soon followed. TAXI!!!!
Oh no....no..no...no!!!!
Anal douche for goodness sake.
what did she have for lunch lol
I'm guessing quite a lot!!!"
Curry?
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was sucking this guys cock years ago when he decides to pick me up and turn me upside down so he could lick me at the same time,I wasn't expecting to be turned into a human catherine wheel and ended up biting his cock and making it bleed  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was sucking this guys cock years ago when he decides to pick me up and turn me upside down so he could lick me at the same time,I wasn't expecting to be turned into a human catherine wheel and ended up biting his cock and making it bleed "
quick note to self don't take honeypot up on the offer of a blowjob, her nickname is jaws lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One mishap I had with an ex was I was licking her out after work 12hr shift to note which I was knackered and I just wanted to lick pussy so there's me licking away after a while I eventually fell asleep between her legs lol
Another time with a fb I bought myself a new cock ring I thought oh yeah baby I'm gona use this show you a thing or two not to my knowledge the damn thing wasn't stretchy enough and after about 15 20 mins not only could I not feel my cock the pain I was in I couldn't even stay hard any more she just kept laughing Said Idiot I should've just fucked her like I normally do lesson learnt check stretchyness haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I met with a lovely lady a while back. At start of meet she wanted me to pop her anal toy beads thingy in. Towards end of meet she wanted me to fuck her bum. Who am I to argue! So I slowly and gently pull the anal toy out and after a long hilarious fart her lunch soon followed. TAXI!!!!
Oh no....no..no...no!!!!
Anal douche for goodness sake.
what did she have for lunch lol
I'm guessing quite a lot!!!
Curry?
"
if you do that when you have had a curry let's just have pasta lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was sucking this guys cock years ago when he decides to pick me up and turn me upside down so he could lick me at the same time,I wasn't expecting to be turned into a human catherine wheel and ended up biting his cock and making it bleed quick note to self don't take honeypot up on the offer of a blowjob, her nickname is jaws lol "
Poor bloke moaned he couldn't have sex for a week after that
Shouldn't laugh........*hides behind hand and cracks up* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met with a lovely lady a while back. At start of meet she wanted me to pop her anal toy beads thingy in. Towards end of meet she wanted me to fuck her bum. Who am I to argue! So I slowly and gently pull the anal toy out and after a long hilarious fart her lunch soon followed. TAXI!!!!
Oh no....no..no...no!!!!
Anal douche for goodness sake.
what did she have for lunch lol
I'm guessing quite a lot!!!
Curry?
if you do that when you have had a curry let's just have pasta lol"
Ah come on....makes life interesting! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I met with a lovely lady a while back. At start of meet she wanted me to pop her anal toy beads thingy in. Towards end of meet she wanted me to fuck her bum. Who am I to argue! So I slowly and gently pull the anal toy out and after a long hilarious fart her lunch soon followed. TAXI!!!!
Oh no....no..no...no!!!!
Anal douche for goodness sake.
what did she have for lunch lol
I'm guessing quite a lot!!!
Curry?
if you do that when you have had a curry let's just have pasta lol"
Ah come on....makes life interesting! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I met with a lovely lady a while back. At start of meet she wanted me to pop her anal toy beads thingy in. Towards end of meet she wanted me to fuck her bum. Who am I to argue! So I slowly and gently pull the anal toy out and after a long hilarious fart her lunch soon followed. TAXI!!!!
Oh no....no..no...no!!!!
Anal douche for goodness sake.
what did she have for lunch lol
I'm guessing quite a lot!!!
Curry?
if you do that when you have had a curry let's just have pasta lol
Ah come on....makes life interesting!"
ok ok a korma, have a shandy and that's yer lot sister |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sneezed whilst straddling a guy. Nearly broke my ribs as I was in a corset at the time, and I nearly snapped his cock in half with the contraction! "
I was waiting for the first snapped cock story it's gonna happen lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"shurrup!!!"
I am telling you I blew a vein once my nickname was captain black cock for a week I looked like a black man it's just a shame I never had the extra 2incha to go with it lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"shurrup!!!
I am telling you I blew a vein once my nickname was captain black cock for a week I looked like a black man it's just a shame I never had the extra 2incha to go with it lol"
I've remembered an embarrassing situation.....
I woke up in my old primary teachers house with her nephew after a night of poteen and sex....He had to sneak me out but got caught. She was alright actually....considering I was only 17 at the time! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"shurrup!!!
I am telling you I blew a vein once my nickname was captain black cock for a week I looked like a black man it's just a shame I never had the extra 2incha to go with it lol
I've remembered an embarrassing situation.....
I woke up in my old primary teachers house with her nephew after a night of poteen and sex....He had to sneak me out but got caught. She was alright actually....considering I was only 17 at the time! "
shit I thought you was gonna say that you got fucked by your primary school teacher that would have been wrong on to many levels |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"shurrup!!!
I am telling you I blew a vein once my nickname was captain black cock for a week I looked like a black man it's just a shame I never had the extra 2incha to go with it lol
I've remembered an embarrassing situation.....
I woke up in my old primary teachers house with her nephew after a night of poteen and sex....He had to sneak me out but got caught. She was alright actually....considering I was only 17 at the time! shit I thought you was gonna say that you got fucked by your primary school teacher that would have been wrong on to many levels "
No..haha. Mrs Brass we called her.
Tough one but fair. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A single extra hard thrust at the key moment broke the legs off the end of the bed. Mid orgasm I fell out and down the slope of the wrecked bed we both ended up in a tangled heap on the floor. Slight pause then laughter took over. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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not a mishap - but many years ago when my back was first really bad - suffered with a lot of sciatic pain - when i orgasmed got a shooting pain down to my right heel - the orgasm was worth it but shit it hurt straight after - very much a ahhhhh then aaargh moment  |
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By *razedcatMan
over a year ago
London / Herts |
Something very strange happened whilst I was with my ex girlfriend. Perhaps it was because we were quite young at the time.
We were both about 18, and had the house to ourselves for the first time ever  , so naturally we got busy quite frequently. One time, in my haste, I didn't put my condom on properly. After a few minutes of frantic fucking, I pulled out, but the condom...didn't.
It ended up lodged inside her, pretty far in too! I had to use my fingers to pull it out, and by the time I'd done that, she felt pretty sore |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A friend of ours went down on his gf and she fanny farted in his face lol "
I had this with a fb the other day. Brought her right to the edge, whipped it out and took a dive. Epic queef resulting in us both pissing ourselves. Me with my head clamped between her legs. Pulled it back together somehow and we were off again  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I don't see that as a mishap. Cramp is a killer but just soldier through. It'll pass, even when they give you a funny look at the position you're in to make it go away!
I think my worst mishap was catching that bit of skin between the vag and the anus. I couldn't apologise enough |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was once on top of my ex in missionary in complete darkness,as I'm banging away she kept saying I was sweating a lot,but I didn't think I was so I carried on,anyway the complaints kept coming so I stopped and turned on the lights to find a horrible sight.
I had unknowingly had a nose bleed and my poor girl was covered in blood,she looked like she had been in the ring with Tyson!lol! |
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