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How to make a woman happy
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you twinkle when you tinkle ?
Are you sweet and wipe the seat ?
Just watching "how clean is your house" and the issue of men making a mess in the toilet and how it upsets the ladies of the house.
Interviewing men in the local town centre some of the guys say they always clean up after themselves, most don't.
The women interviewed say it drives them mad.
WHY ? I never clean the floor after using the loo, I never wipe the loo seat (unless I am cleaning the bathroom)
Many years ago I found a simple solution to the age old problem, I always, always sit down when taking a P
When you think about it the problem comes from men using urinals, they are great, it's hard to miss one, it's not a man's fault, no matter where you point one of them things it can still go off in any direction.
Sit down, it's much more comfortable, much more relaxing, and you never ever miss and make a mess.
I guarantee your ladies of the house will be impressed and any other guys using your loo too.
I can even tell when we have a couple round now because if the the guy uses the loo the toilet seat is left up, a strange occurence in our house.
Tomorrow boys n girls I will teach you how to make a helicopter from a dustbin and some old plasters (unless you have seen that episode of the "A" Team it is quite interesting  |
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"If you watch what your doing when your taking a wizz you shouldn't make a mess. "
or do what hey do in schools to teach liitle boys to aim - stick a ping pong ball in the toilet - you could make a little game out of it  |
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"Yes a metal bucket will do but you have to use a weapons greade titanium trinion with it instead of the normal sticky plaster"
I think I have some of that titanium thingy under the kitchen sink.
How much do I need?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"2 fl ozs mixed with H2S04 2 parts to the thingymajig
*goes to check if tha sulfuric acid is still in the store cupboard*
Damn only got Lysergic acid diethylamide, at least it's acid.
"
Share please!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you watch what your doing when your taking a wizz you shouldn't make a mess. "
That's a heavily science laden theoretical idea for this forum.
Do you have a diagram? |
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"Sit down, it's much more comfortable, much more relaxing, and you never ever miss and make a mess."
Or . . . just pee in the sink. It's faster than dropping your trolleys, you still can't miss and it's more efficient as you can brush your teeth or shave at the same time!
Tune in next week when I'll be showing you how to make an anti-helicopter gun using a leaf-blower and the Blue Peter tortoise.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I got in trouble with the wife for using the sink as a toilet
It was many years ago but she still goes on about it.
It happened when we were courting and for the firt time she sneaked me into the lounge when everyone else had gone to bed
After a while I told her I needed to use the loo, she told me I couldnt as her family would hear me in the house
I waited and waited and kept asking her but she kept saying I couldnt use the toilet
In the end she agreed to let me use the kitchen sink
It was alright but after a while she called to me to ask if I had finished
I told her I had but couldnt find any toilet paper .........  |
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The only male ive ever known make a mess around the toilet was my son when he was younger. Either they all wipe up or no how to aim straight. As for toilet seats being left up, who really cares, i for one dont. In the grand scale of life a left up toilet seat is hardly important. If there are a man and woman in the house ive never heard a guy complain yet about a left down toilet seat. For me such trivialities have no relavence in my life |
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The Dutch had a novelty way of reducing mess in public toilets.
They printed "flies" on the urinal, gave men something to play at and aim better.
On the subject of peeing in the sink, my ex didnt half embarrass me when, in front of friends, she called me a dirty bugger for peeing in the sick.
"Charming" i said, " it was you who left the dishes in the sink".
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was brought to sit down whenever I went to the loo . And clean my privates with loo roll . No mess what so ever . And then use the sink to wash your hands hint hint lol
I decided to pass on the 'ping pong' ball , why change good habits |
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