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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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After seeing yet another single guy profile review post where someone clearly expected a shag for every message sent, I got wondering about the different expectations between genders and couples.
Clearly a lot of single guys have heard that this is a "mail and ask to fuck" site. But what about ladies, couples and TV/TS that joined the site with no prior knowledge of it. What were your expectations of what it would be like?
Me, I joined as I was only previously on some TV interest sites and was hoping to find some couples who were into TV's. My expectations were on the level as I was aware of the time wasting situation from the TV sites. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Excellent question. I often wonder the same thing. I can't really remember what I thought swingers were. I think I thought it would be like other NSA sex type sites. But then I always expected people to be respectful on those too.
I was disappointed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I sometimes think some guys expect to have sex on tap as soon as they join, these types are usually the ones who see it as a sex site, not a swingers site. I think if you join with an open mind and no great expectations of anything then you won't be disappointed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was on a couples only site (as a couple) before joining here. I was overwhelmed by the message and shag brigade. I didn't realise that having a cock preventing someone from reading a profile or accepting a no thanks without spewing a tirade of abuse. Just use the site for forums and chat rooms now. Don't hide profile or filter messages as someone I've chatted to or discussed something with may want to contact me and it would be rude if they were unable to. Just make it very clear I'm not meeting or exchanging messages. Still I get them, always will, tis the nature of the beast  |
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From my experiences on other sites of an adult nature I expected to be inundated with crass, fancy a fuck type messages from men with little or no detail on the profile other than lots of cock pics.......In that respect Fab didn't disappoint  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I expected it to be full of morons (I'm a bit of a snob sometimes) but signed up anyway....and to some extent I was right, it is full of morons.
But I've also had the pleasure of meeting and chatting to some clever, funny and downright lovely people, so it's probably turned out better than I thought  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'veoften wondered if the site has turned out how the owners originally intended, or if it's morphed into something else but are sticking with it because of the cash. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I sometimes think some guys expect to have sex on tap as soon as they join, these types are usually the ones who see it as a sex site, not a swingers site. I think if you join with an open mind and no great expectations of anything then you won't be disappointed."
This. 
I've always wondered if some that join do so because they can't find company in the real world and almost see sites such as this as 'the last chance saloon' or assume that by setting up a profile it will provide something unavailable to them by other means.
It's not. And it never will.
Whenever I see the age old arguments that there's too many guys and not enough women, or that other single guys 'ruin' things for others, or that rude people don't respond to messages, or that the site is full if timewasters, or.....the countless other arguments that crop up daily - I'd love to point out one simple fact!
If the guy that is complaining was the only single guy on site there'd still be no guarantee he'd get meets.
It may well be the case that nobody would find them interesting or attractive and want to meet them, socially or for fun. And if desperation ensued and somebody did? How would it feel to know that a meet only occurred out of a lack of choice?
Those that see the site as an addition to their normal lives rather than the sole source of physical company tend to enjoy life much more.
If site membership - here or on any other - causes that much stress and pain there's always a simple solution.
It just involves entering two things.
Your password and the two words 'I Understand' ! 
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the site is how I expected really. Have no expectation as such, and I don't know if it's all due to the fact there are a lot more single males so it just seems that they ask more and also if therefore they have more competition etc.
For me I just mainly mess around on the forums (apologies everyone ) and send genuine messages - gets me to socials, parties and I have enough fun with all of that, meets I'm really fussy about though with who I actually play with. |
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"I expected it to be full of morons (I'm a bit of a snob sometimes) but signed up anyway....and to some extent I was right, it is full of morons.
But I've also had the pleasure of meeting and chatting to some clever, funny and downright lovely people, so it's probably turned out better than I thought "
Please don't tar everybody with the same brush.
A lot of people on here are very nice and we have some really good forums.
I do understand where you say there are morons on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A male friend told me about Fab but I had no idea what to expect when I first joined. I deleted account within a couple of hours due to the number of messages. He persuaded me to come back and explained about the filters which made life that much easier.
I've met some lovely men in my time on here but I've found that things have changed drastically in the last four years. These days a lot they tend to want quick a quick shag and go meet which is definitely not what I'm looking for.
I've found there are many dreamers who like to talk about meeting but never get round to it. A lot of men will put up a meet today request up at 10 or 11pm and then moan that women on here don't meet. I find that quite a lot [locally to me obviously as I can't speak for other areas] don't want a social and don't really want to chat to get too know you either.
I'm so disillusioned that I've now decided not to bother looking any more as it's just too much hassle and I really can't be bothered with let downs   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not sure what my expectations were, I think it's a steep learning curve when you first join as a single female. It's a message frenzy ! Then I twigged about message filters etc. Yes there are a lot of people who think it's instashag, however on the flip side, I chat to and have met some lovely, funny and beautiful people. I don't meet much, as Fab is an add on to real life which is pretty manic at times.
I mostly just mess around in the forums which entertains me no end ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A male friend told me about Fab but I had no idea what to expect when I first joined. I deleted account within a couple of hours due to the number of messages. He persuaded me to come back and explained about the filters which made life that much easier.
I've met some lovely men in my time on here but I've found that things have changed drastically in the last four years. These days a lot they tend to want quick a quick shag and go meet which is definitely not what I'm looking for.
I've found there are many dreamers who like to talk about meeting but never get round to it. A lot of men will put up a meet today request up at 10 or 11pm and then moan that women on here don't meet. I find that quite a lot [locally to me obviously as I can't speak for other areas] don't want a social and don't really want to chat to get too know you either.
I'm so disillusioned that I've now decided not to bother looking any more as it's just too much hassle and I really can't be bothered with let downs "
Totally agree with you on all of that, I've had similar experiences |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didn't have any expectations having never been on a site like this before. Although I was inundated with messages from men and couples they weren't fancy a fuck ones. In all the time I've been here I think I've been asked that once. I'm a fairly intelligent adult and know that a site aimed at people looking for sex will generate messages about sex. I'm not a princess about such matters,it's not a problem for me |
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I can't remember what our expectations were. The site does what it claims to do no question of that. We were very surprised by the amount of interest we got and still get, surprised by attitudes both good and bad and horrified to some extent by the intolerance, so clearly our expectations in those areas were different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The site delivered more than I expected, especially once I discovered the fun to be had in the forum. I've met lovely people and chatted to a lot more that I haven't met. I like that I can use the site as I wish and can be myself on it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Curiosity drew me in previously,admittedly it was sexual.
Without doubt,despite the site name there's a large percentage of people on here who aren't swingers and as a consequence it's used as a "sort my horn out " site by some and just a form of social interaction by others.
I think you need to be careful having expectations as after all other people's rarely match yours. Better to just enjoy what suits you on here and try your best to ignore what frustrates you . Thankfully I never expected a long list of people waiting to jump in bed with me. |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
I think a large majority of the men that join Fab do actually see it as a sex site. Just take a look in the chat rooms. It's so easy to join up free of charge. Especially in today's world of mobile access, make up an email address and within minutes they are interacting with a gash cam. Word soon gets around down the pub and before you know it Dagenham Dave has got his whole footy team signed up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For us the expectation was to meet horny people to have convos beyond the high how are you, and then move on to play fun and re=enact some scene for our todo list..this is impossible with our background and friends circle as totally taboo. 
Making these connection isn't easy but getting better. The guys and couples ho just want sex at any cost makes it harder fir us at least. |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I had no clue what to expect having never been on any form of sex or even dating site before. I figured out using filters pretty sharpish but I am innately polite and still find it difficult to ignore and delete (but have learnt to since messaging a polite no thanks back inevitably leads to further messages). Fab is an addition to my life and I only meet sporadically so I am developing a thicker skin. Finding the fora early on helped. All the newbie advice you could need is there somewhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didn't really expect anyone to be interested enough to talk to me.
I hadn't realised there are so few women compared to men here. I was really excited to get my first message. (And then slightly overwhelmed to get the next thirty!)
I didn't know what to expect, completely naive. I only came on here because my husband had been convincing me to for ages! I had no expectations really.
Actually I mostly expected to attract a stalker within 30 seconds and then have to change my phone number and move house, so mostly I was nervous, you could say! |
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Having known swingers prior, and with experience of sex sites, I didn't have major expectations other than it could be a laugh and some interesting partners and shags could follow.
Experience elsewhere told me a lot of guys would be wanna fuck now types but I was amazed at the poorly deluded expectations that some have in abundance.
It's easy to get any sex, as all places have shown me, but the wise prefer the great sex instead of mediocre.
The forums are the best and massively better than expected but that is a mark of the great people here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was on a couples only site (as a couple) before joining here. I was overwhelmed by the message and shag brigade. I didn't realise that having a cock preventing someone from reading a profile or accepting a no thanks without spewing a tirade of abuse. Just use the site for forums and chat rooms now. Don't hide profile or filter messages as someone I've chatted to or discussed something with may want to contact me and it would be rude if they were unable to. Just make it very clear I'm not meeting or exchanging messages. Still I get them, always will, tis the nature of the beast "
If you delete everything (men) off your Looking For list you don't show up on searches and it cuts down the mail. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I thought everyone would be stunning super model types and that no one would be interested in us
I didn't have any expectations of success,we joined a site to look at clubs to go to,we had already tentatively dipped our toes into swinging before that
Never expected to still be here years later or to have made some great friends along the way
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