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mental illness

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

why is when people find out the you either suffer from mental illness or things like ptsd does it put them off meeting you as i hate people doing a runner on me all the time just because of that

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By *yrdwomanWoman  over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Is it the type of illness a one off meet for NSA sex needs to know about?

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By *uby0000Woman  over a year ago

hertfordshire

people don't understand

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You don't have to tell them. How does it affect you on a meet?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Is it the type of illness a one off meet for NSA sex needs to know about?"

no one of meets dont need to know but im here looking for friends and something regular

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"You don't have to tell them. How does it affect you on a meet?"

it dont affect me but people assume it will

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By *he_original_poloWoman  over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"Is it the type of illness a one off meet for NSA sex needs to know about?"

Beat me to it.

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By *yrdwomanWoman  over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"Is it the type of illness a one off meet for NSA sex needs to know about?

no one of meets dont need to know but im here looking for friends and something regular"

Unfortunately a few people will consider it an additional complication.

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

Are u saying with a mental illness

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"people don't understand"

i agree but it all just makes me feel less of a person all the time

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Is it the type of illness a one off meet for NSA sex needs to know about?

no one of meets dont need to know but im here looking for friends and something regular

Unfortunately a few people will consider it an additional complication."

i know but its really not thats what some people really need to understan

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Are u saying with a mental illness

"

well i suffer with server ptsd and people seem to think that this makes me a non normal guy and dont want to get to know me or meet me as they think i will just go crazy for no reason but that is not true

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By *he_original_poloWoman  over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Will your mental health issue have an impact on the people you meet? Will they even be aware you have a mental health issue?

If no, then why do you bring it up?

If yes, then they have a right to choose if it is going to impact on them.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It is called ignorance and no intelligence, simple.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Will your mental health issue have an impact on the people you meet? Will they even be aware you have a mental health issue?

If no, then why do you bring it up?

If yes, then they have a right to choose if it is going to impact on them.

"

well put

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Will your mental health issue have an impact on the people you meet? Will they even be aware you have a mental health issue?

If no, then why do you bring it up?

If yes, then they have a right to choose if it is going to impact on them.

"

i bring it up as im trying to get to know people and only feel its fai that they know about me so when people ask why im signed of work i give an honest answer

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"people don't understand

i agree but it all just makes me feel less of a person all the time "

To be blunt, fuck em, your not a bad person, your up front and honest, something that I see people on here complaining that there is not enough of, keep true to yourself buddy, be you, and one day you will laugh at all the people who snubbed you when your getting freaky with a special someone

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By *inaTitzTV/TS  over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

It's such a wide ranging area and covers a lot of ground. People assume the worst through ignorance and fear. A broken arm, people know what it is, but anything related to the head is the unknown.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's such a wide ranging area and covers a lot of ground. People assume the worst through ignorance and fear. A broken arm, people know what it is, but anything related to the head is the unknown. "

Yeah anything related to head is unknown to me just lately lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"people don't understand

i agree but it all just makes me feel less of a person all the time

To be blunt, fuck em, your not a bad person, your up front and honest, something that I see people on here complaining that there is not enough of, keep true to yourself buddy, be you, and one day you will laugh at all the people who snubbed you when your getting freaky with a special someone "

thank you for your vote of confidence

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"people don't understand

i agree but it all just makes me feel less of a person all the time

To be blunt, fuck em, your not a bad person, your up front and honest, something that I see people on here complaining that there is not enough of, keep true to yourself buddy, be you, and one day you will laugh at all the people who snubbed you when your getting freaky with a special someone

thank you for your vote of confidence "

No probs bro

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Will your mental health issue have an impact on the people you meet? Will they even be aware you have a mental health issue?

If no, then why do you bring it up?

If yes, then they have a right to choose if it is going to impact on them.

i bring it up as im trying to get to know people and only feel its fai that they know about me so when people ask why im signed of work i give an honest answer"

You don't have to disclose things so personal. If you're finding it's putting people off don't tell them. You can get to know someone's personality without knowing all about their private life

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Will your mental health issue have an impact on the people you meet? Will they even be aware you have a mental health issue?

If no, then why do you bring it up?

If yes, then they have a right to choose if it is going to impact on them.

i bring it up as im trying to get to know people and only feel its fai that they know about me so when people ask why im signed of work i give an honest answer

You don't have to disclose things so personal. If you're finding it's putting people off don't tell them. You can get to know someone's personality without knowing all about their private life "

yes i understand that and only tell people i feel im getting along really well with and always break easy into the subjuct never come straight out with it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Will your mental health issue have an impact on the people you meet? Will they even be aware you have a mental health issue?

If no, then why do you bring it up?

If yes, then they have a right to choose if it is going to impact on them.

i bring it up as im trying to get to know people and only feel its fai that they know about me so when people ask why im signed of work i give an honest answer

You don't have to disclose things so personal. If you're finding it's putting people off don't tell them. You can get to know someone's personality without knowing all about their private life

yes i understand that and only tell people i feel im getting along really well with and always break easy into the subjuct never come straight out with it "

But they still run?

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By *r and Mrs SnogalotCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow

The trouble with PTSD is the press and the extreme variety of symptoms that different sufferers present with.

For example one patient may only present with OCD, others may have it well under control whilst there are those sufferers that are a danger to themselves and others. Then there are those who are symptom free until there is a trigger.

What you tell people is your business - but given the lack of understanding - you may want to think about how and what you tell them.

Shy

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Will your mental health issue have an impact on the people you meet? Will they even be aware you have a mental health issue?

If no, then why do you bring it up?

If yes, then they have a right to choose if it is going to impact on them.

i bring it up as im trying to get to know people and only feel its fai that they know about me so when people ask why im signed of work i give an honest answer

You don't have to disclose things so personal. If you're finding it's putting people off don't tell them. You can get to know someone's personality without knowing all about their private life

yes i understand that and only tell people i feel im getting along really well with and always break easy into the subjuct never come straight out with it

But they still run? "

yes they do all the time

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It is called ignorance and no intelligence, simple.

Her"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"why is when people find out the you either suffer from mental illness or things like ptsd does it put them off meeting you as i hate people doing a runner on me all the time just because of that "

I have had depression and anxiety for most of my adult life. It then led to a diagnosis I find hard to accept yet it explains a lot of my behaviour and reaction to people. I have lost friends and potential friends but stick with me and I'm a loyal friend.

What I'm saying is choose carefully who you open up to and never feel you're lesser than so called 'normals'.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"The trouble with PTSD is the press and the extreme variety of symptoms that different sufferers present with.

For example one patient may only present with OCD, others may have it well under control whilst there are those sufferers that are a danger to themselves and others. Then there are those who are symptom free until there is a trigger.

What you tell people is your business - but given the lack of understanding - you may want to think about how and what you tell them.

Shy "

thank you advice means alot i may have to reconsider my approach its just if im asked a question i tend to always give the most honest answer i can

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By *he_original_poloWoman  over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"Will your mental health issue have an impact on the people you meet? Will they even be aware you have a mental health issue?

If no, then why do you bring it up?

If yes, then they have a right to choose if it is going to impact on them.

i bring it up as im trying to get to know people and only feel its fai that they know about me so when people ask why im signed of work i give an honest answer"

Then I feel it is only fair I give an honest answer also....

I would wonder why someone was sharing this with me if there was no need to know. By 'no need to know' I mean nothing unusual was likely to happen, nothing would effect reliability, performance, behaviour and so on.

I would wonder if they were trying to reach out.... if they were actually looking for someone to show they 'care' rather than interested in something fun and casual.

I would wonder if this was a covert display of underlying self confidence issues and were trying to prove themselves right.

I would wonder if I really didn't 'need to know' why they thought I needed to know.... and for my own benefit make the assumption that may be I did 'need to know'.

And after all of that 5 seconds of wondering, I'd err on the side of caution and look for someone else.

Now on the flip side of that... it doesn't make you any less of a person. Remember people are generally on here for relaxed casual fun and we all need to make judgements based on what little information we are faced with... and we often get it wrong (but rarely get to find out). People get blown out for all sorts of reasons.......who they have met, not met, how often they message, a wrong word, an unappreciated photo, not enough photos, calling someone 'babe' and so on. It's just the way it is... people's leisure time if often highly valued and as the saying goes... it's better to be safe than sorry.

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By *r and Mrs SnogalotCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"The trouble with PTSD is the press and the extreme variety of symptoms that different sufferers present with.

For example one patient may only present with OCD, others may have it well under control whilst there are those sufferers that are a danger to themselves and others. Then there are those who are symptom free until there is a trigger.

What you tell people is your business - but given the lack of understanding - you may want to think about how and what you tell them.

Shy

thank you advice means alot i may have to reconsider my approach its just if im asked a question i tend to always give the most honest answer i can "

Honesty is always the best policy as far as I am concerned and hats of to you for facing your illness head on. But it really depends on what your symptoms are as to how you deal with telling others.

Shy x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'd disclose anything that may affect a meet, but nothing more HAS to be discussed, then it's up to both parties if they feel comfortable.

Plus it depends how relevant / likely a sexual scenario will trigger your PTSD etc.

Sure you're a good guy who's just misunderstood by those not wanting a complication.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"why is when people find out the you either suffer from mental illness or things like ptsd does it put them off meeting you as i hate people doing a runner on me all the time just because of that

I have had depression and anxiety for most of my adult life. It then led to a diagnosis I find hard to accept yet it explains a lot of my behaviour and reaction to people. I have lost friends and potential friends but stick with me and I'm a loyal friend.

What I'm saying is choose carefully who you open up to and never feel you're lesser than so called 'normals'."

thank you i understand how you feel i lost all my friends just for being honest about my self and came here as friend said i would meet some really nice people and people that would not care about my ptsd as were all here to get along and have fun and share mutual life style.and so far no luck in meeting some of these nice people

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'd disclose anything that may affect a meet, but nothing more HAS to be discussed, then it's up to both parties if they feel comfortable.

Plus it depends how relevant / likely a sexual scenario will trigger your PTSD etc.

Sure you're a good guy who's just misunderstood by those not wanting a complication. "

i do feel very misunderstood and the only trigger i know of for my ptsd is extreme acts of violence

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By *r and Mrs SnogalotCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"why is when people find out the you either suffer from mental illness or things like ptsd does it put them off meeting you as i hate people doing a runner on me all the time just because of that

I have had depression and anxiety for most of my adult life. It then led to a diagnosis I find hard to accept yet it explains a lot of my behaviour and reaction to people. I have lost friends and potential friends but stick with me and I'm a loyal friend.

What I'm saying is choose carefully who you open up to and never feel you're lesser than so called 'normals'.

thank you i understand how you feel i lost all my friends just for being honest about my self and came here as friend said i would meet some really nice people and people that would not care about my ptsd as were all here to get along and have fun and share mutual life style.and so far no luck in meeting some of these nice people "

I wonder if this is the right place for you to meet people. Not saying that people on fab aren't nice - but it is, I think, not as much about building relationships and it does sound like that is what you are looking for.

Shy x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

The general population has just about got used to braille signs, wheelchair ramps and blue badge parking. The invisible conditions and disabilities are poorly understood and recognized.

It's no ones business how your work life is, so you're on a day off when you meet.

There are decent people on here, so itself wise to remain vigilant for them.some will find you.

PTSD is a varied condition and it will probably affect you more some times forth an others. Do what you can to lessen those things that stress you before meets and don't meet if it's better to meet another time.

We tell and reveal stuff about ourselves in layers, not all at once. Honesty is absolutely the right policy, but don't feel you should tell everyone absolutely all immediately.

If your condition won't affect them there and then Id recommend you say minimal or nothing.

A long term fb can happen by chance, through ongoing fun together. It doesn't have to be sought, like marriage from mail orders partners. Have the sex and concern yourself more with the here and now.

And get to socials and clubs to widen your social circle. As long as you're not deceptive and youre concerned about your partners, which you are, then all is good.

How many days off at a time is only your business.

I hope you're getting good treated and support for your health.

Good luck! Sophiex

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

just would really like to make new friends and share something in common.

and just move past my ptsd and forget it exist. but it appears its really hard to make friends

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"why is when people find out the you either suffer from mental illness or things like ptsd does it put them off meeting you as i hate people doing a runner on me all the time just because of that

I have had depression and anxiety for most of my adult life. It then led to a diagnosis I find hard to accept yet it explains a lot of my behaviour and reaction to people. I have lost friends and potential friends but stick with me and I'm a loyal friend.

What I'm saying is choose carefully who you open up to and never feel you're lesser than so called 'normals'.

thank you i understand how you feel i lost all my friends just for being honest about my self and came here as friend said i would meet some really nice people and people that would not care about my ptsd as were all here to get along and have fun and share mutual life style.and so far no luck in meeting some of these nice people

I wonder if this is the right place for you to meet people. Not saying that people on fab aren't nice - but it is, I think, not as much about building relationships and it does sound like that is what you are looking for.

Shy x

"

its the only thing i can think of that i have in common with a vast number of people

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

Please pardon what appears poorly written above, but my phone corrections are a bit wild.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It is called ignorance and no intelligence, simple.

Her

"

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By *Ryan-Man  over a year ago

In Your Bush

Just don't tell them so early on then.

I have similar issues with my green cock.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Please pardon what appears poorly written above, but my phone corrections are a bit wild."

no problem

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

An illness does not define you just as you're sexuality doesn't define you as a person.

Unfortunately a cross section are frightened by the concept of mental illness or difficulties. You can return to your normal self just the same way as someone with the flu does. And identifying and admitting your difficulty and hurdle means you're on track. They call it a hurdle. ..because you can get over it. Good luck but think carefully about what scenarios you place yourself in emotionally on a site like this.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have bpd and it's a fact that people with this enjoy illict sex xxxx

But you never know i had it x

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I have bpd and it's a fact that people with this enjoy illict sex xxxx

But you never know i had it x"

yes have heard that about bpd wish it was the same with ptsd could do with some fun illict sex lol xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


" An illness does not define you just as you're sexuality doesn't define you as a person.

Unfortunately a cross section are frightened by the concept of mental illness or difficulties. You can return to your normal self just the same way as someone with the flu does. And identifying and admitting your difficulty and hurdle means you're on track. They call it a hurdle. ..because you can get over it. Good luck but think carefully about what scenarios you place yourself in emotionally on a site like this. "

i will be careful as dont want to be in any uncomfortable scenarios and only ever go for what i am comfortable with

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

Another thing you could consider is having swinging friends who understand your condition. We wouldn't need to shag with you, but could offer opinion or someone to listen, if it gets tough and others don't understand.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

it dont affect me but people assume it will

just would really like to make new friends and share something in common.

and just move past my ptsd and forget it exist. but it appears its really hard to make friends "

I'm trying to understand where you're coming from to be honest.

You say it does not affect you and by that I guess you mean the PTSD ? yet you are signed off work due to it.

Also you say you are trying to forget your PTSD exists yet you say you tell everyone you talk to.

Sorry but I'm finding it a bit ... confusing

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Another thing you could consider is having swinging friends who understand your condition. We wouldn't need to shag with you, but could offer opinion or someone to listen, if it gets tough and others don't understand.

"

thats sounds just like what i would like as was told that i would meet lots of understanding people here that are into swinging as much as i am and would look past thinks like my condition

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

As a single guy you also are in a harder position than others. That will no doubt add a level of strain and potential stress to all single guys.

One of your ideals right now could be to minimize stressers from your life, so I'm not sure using fab isn't at odds with managing your health.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

it dont affect me but people assume it will

just would really like to make new friends and share something in common.

and just move past my ptsd and forget it exist. but it appears its really hard to make friends

I'm trying to understand where you're coming from to be honest.

You say it does not affect you and by that I guess you mean the PTSD ? yet you are signed off work due to it.

Also you say you are trying to forget your PTSD exists yet you say you tell everyone you talk to.

Sorry but I'm finding it a bit ... confusing "

i cant work in my job with the meds that i am on. and who would not want to forget they have it. and only tell people as i have always believed in being a honest and open person as that is how the best friendships are formed

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

it dont affect me but people assume it will

just would really like to make new friends and share something in common.

and just move past my ptsd and forget it exist. but it appears its really hard to make friends

I'm trying to understand where you're coming from to be honest.

You say it does not affect you and by that I guess you mean the PTSD ? yet you are signed off work due to it.

Also you say you are trying to forget your PTSD exists yet you say you tell everyone you talk to.

Sorry but I'm finding it a bit ... confusing "

I think and I'm speaking on O.P. behalf but often it takes time.

Time to know when to keep schtum and time to know that your issues need the correct arena/audience.

Vulnerability comes into play here.

Remember your stance and consider your safety and happiness first.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"As a single guy you also are in a harder position than others. That will no doubt add a level of strain and potential stress to all single guys.

One of your ideals right now could be to minimize stressers from your life, so I'm not sure using fab isn't at odds with managing your health."

i dont want to manage my health here im already getting the help i need with that i just want to meet new people with interests that are the same as mine

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

Couldn't care less to be honest

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

it dont affect me but people assume it will

just would really like to make new friends and share something in common.

and just move past my ptsd and forget it exist. but it appears its really hard to make friends

I'm trying to understand where you're coming from to be honest.

You say it does not affect you and by that I guess you mean the PTSD ? yet you are signed off work due to it.

Also you say you are trying to forget your PTSD exists yet you say you tell everyone you talk to.

Sorry but I'm finding it a bit ... confusing

I think and I'm speaking on O.P. behalf but often it takes time.

Time to know when to keep schtum and time to know that your issues need the correct arena/audience.

Vulnerability comes into play here.

Remember your stance and consider your safety and happiness first. "

i will certainly try thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Couldn't care less to be honest"

ok what do you mean?

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"Will your mental health issue have an impact on the people you meet? Will they even be aware you have a mental health issue?

If no, then why do you bring it up?

If yes, then they have a right to choose if it is going to impact on them.

i bring it up as im trying to get to know people and only feel its fai that they know about me so when people ask why im signed of work i give an honest answer

Then I feel it is only fair I give an honest answer also....

I would wonder why someone was sharing this with me if there was no need to know. By 'no need to know' I mean nothing unusual was likely to happen, nothing would effect reliability, performance, behaviour and so on.

I would wonder if they were trying to reach out.... if they were actually looking for someone to show they 'care' rather than interested in something fun and casual.

I would wonder if this was a covert display of underlying self confidence issues and were trying to prove themselves right.

I would wonder if I really didn't 'need to know' why they thought I needed to know.... and for my own benefit make the assumption that may be I did 'need to know'.

And after all of that 5 seconds of wondering, I'd err on the side of caution and look for someone else.

Now on the flip side of that... it doesn't make you any less of a person. Remember people are generally on here for relaxed casual fun and we all need to make judgements based on what little information we are faced with... and we often get it wrong (but rarely get to find out). People get blown out for all sorts of reasons.......who they have met, not met, how often they message, a wrong word, an unappreciated photo, not enough photos, calling someone 'babe' and so on. It's just the way it is... people's leisure time if often highly valued and as the saying goes... it's better to be safe than sorry.

"

100% this!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Some swingers are understanding.

Others not so much.

Much like the rest of society.

It is brave (and somewhat naive) of you to open up to people who are essentially little more than strangers.

That, in itself, suggests that there is more to your condition than you care to admit (possibly to yourself).

Having worked alongside someone living with PTSD, I have experienced it's many lows and I am sorry that you are going through the mill.

I am, however, questioning the validity of you adopting a swingers lifestyle whilst dealing with a major life event.

I do think you would be perhaps better suited to a support based site where maybe you can meet others who are more sympathetic to your position, or at thd very least, understand it.

When I read the thread, a few questions popped into my head :

Are you seeing anyone professionally about your condition ?

How do they suggest you deal with finding new friends and lovers ?

Have you asked ?

Have they offered you any advice ?

Have you taken them up on any advice provided ?

Whatever the answers, concentrate on finding your own new track in life.

If someone wants to share that journey with you, brilliant, but you have to be the one that drives it.

Fab should be a diversion, not part of the journey imho

Best wishes x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Couldn't care less to be honest"

wow, thanks for sharing that with us all, good for you

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central


"As a single guy you also are in a harder position than others. That will no doubt add a level of strain and potential stress to all single guys.

One of your ideals right now could be to minimize stressers from your life, so I'm not sure using fab isn't at odds with managing your health.

i dont want to manage my health here im already getting the help i need with that i just want to meet new people with interests that are the same as mine "

I don't know your diagnosis but am reasonably expert with this condition. Your health won't switch on and off, depending on what you're doing. It can always be affected, both positively and otherwise. Repeated knocks and difficulties could be expected to raise your baseline stress load. I add this as the most typical experience of new single males is that fab is hard for them. There is no given, as you may be very fortunate.

It's great for you to get the social and sexual needs you have satisfied. Fab may do that, but - and not wishing to wrap you in cotton wool - it might impact on your wellbeing - might - so I wanted to share that in my message that you replied to.

My view, albeit largely from ignorance of how you are, is that it's a good idea to be honest and open, but only where needed and on a relevant need to know basis.

It's your call of course. You are your own expert. Consider talking it through with others.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

actually having a mental health issue isnt a problem for me - my job is working with people with them and ive had a break down myself and a few issues going on from time to time -

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Is it the type of illness a one off meet for NSA sex needs to know about?

no one of meets dont need to know but im here looking for friends and something regular"

then don't tell them till they become friends, people you meet off here don't have the right to know about private medical conditions, I wouldn't tell anyone till I felt comfortable with them by that point they may see past any conditions you have

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You need to choose your friends wisely as they are often a trigger for your symptoms, especially with depression etc.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"why is when people find out the you either suffer from mental illness or things like ptsd does it put them off meeting you as i hate people doing a runner on me all the time just because of that "

It is probably the fact most people are scared of something they don't understand. There is no easy fix but good on you for being honest with people.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman  over a year ago

little house on the praire

I don't think there is any need to tell people. I tell people on a need to know basis although I'm open about it on the forums, in 8 years never had anyone do a runner yet. Maybe more selective with your friends

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

its not something i chat about but never deny if it came up - its part of me - im not an alien (well maybe not

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