FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do people really have a good time the first time they have sex?
Do people really have a good time the first time they have sex?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I read a lot of verifications on here and everyone apart from me seems to have a wicked fulfilling time from first time meets. I've not had the same luck. My most recent one I just felt frustrated cos he didn't feel right and although I was subtly trying to get him to so the things I like but it just wasn't happening, it's been like it whenever I've slept with anyone new.
I was first sexually active from age 17 when I met my ex and we were together 10 years so my body and my mind is used to being fucked a certain way. I feel like I've been conditioned in the way that I have sex.
I think it might be psychological or a lack of confidence because I like to feel comfortable in front of a guy, with new meets I'm very very conscious of what they are thinking.
All this just makes me feel like I want a boyfriend! I believe you have the best sex when you're in a relationship when you know each other's bodies inside out and know exactly how to please each other and are comfortable and trust each other. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I make it a good experienced. Talking beforehand to make sure there's a good connection and attraction helps. Only tiredness and a chicken burger have made it not so good |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
How do you ensure you have a good time though? I know in my mind what I like and on paper or rather emails and exchanged texts the guy seems tip top and like he would be fun but it could be something ridiculously pointless that can happen and that's it, my mood changes and I can't get it back then. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I read a lot of verifications on here and everyone apart from me seems to have a wicked fulfilling time from first time meets. I've not had the same luck. My most recent one I just felt frustrated cos he didn't feel right and although I was subtly trying to get him to so the things I like but it just wasn't happening, it's been like it whenever I've slept with anyone new.
I was first sexually active from age 17 when I met my ex and we were together 10 years so my body and my mind is used to being fucked a certain way. I feel like I've been conditioned in the way that I have sex.
I think it might be psychological or a lack of confidence because I like to feel comfortable in front of a guy, with new meets I'm very very conscious of what they are thinking.
All this just makes me feel like I want a boyfriend! I believe you have the best sex when you're in a relationship when you know each other's bodies inside out and know exactly how to please each other and are comfortable and trust each other. "
I completely understand what you mean - one reason I don't have one night stands in that they normally turn out to be fairly tedious.
I've had some good first meets on here but mainly with people I chatted to for a while and therefore had a connection with.
I've had some disappointing ones but learnt from them and am working on ways to make sure a first time works for all involved. Then again the first time I fucked my now ex wasn't great but if I had judged him on that I wouldn't have had the 8 years of mind blowing moments which followed.
I think you just have to learn from each encounter and find a way to get to know whether the people you meet have the potential to give you what you are looking for. After all it take two to tango x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think you need to just tell them how it is and what you want in detail then there is more chance of you getting what you are looking for in a meet. Looking at you're pics they must be close to cumming seeing you naked LoL. But looking at you're varies they seem to have been happy with the meet but if you don't tell then how you want to be fucked they will not know. Hope you find what you are looking for though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"I make it a good experienced. Talking beforehand to make sure there's a good connection and attraction helps. Only tiredness and a chicken burger have made it not so good "
Sorry I have to ask, how did a chicken burger make it not so good?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You can plan sex down to the last detail. I don't go into it with a checklist of expectations and I don't want the same experience every time. If 2 people turn each other on a kiss will be special and feel amazing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Majority of ours have been great. There is the odd one which we wouldn't repeat, but the majority we have had lots of repeats with, which to be fair is the way we prefer it rather than one offs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You can plan sex down to the last detail. I don't go into it with a checklist of expectations and I don't want the same experience every time. If 2 people turn each other on a kiss will be special and feel amazing "
that should read can't plan |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
Some first meets have gone better than others. I think that you either connect with someone sexual or you don't.
All the communcation and planning in the world doesn't mean that the sex will be good. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
" ..my body and my mind is used to being fucked a certain way. I feel like I've been conditioned in the way that I have sex."
So discuss things in more detail with potential meets beforehand via message and again F2F or via phone. Then on the day of the meet - remind them. Then during the meet if things aren't going as discussed? Discuss it again - or call it a day!
It's all down to communication.
But if the reality doesn't measure up at the time - you either have to accept that or bin it!
A |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Very much so. The last time was after a couple of social meets and a lot of emails and chat and we had a good idea in advance of what would be nice - it ended up being a really good fun afternoon and very satisfying, leaving me with a bounce in my step and a smile on my face for a couple of days. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you ensure you have a good time though? I know in my mind what I like and on paper or rather emails and exchanged texts the guy seems tip top and like he would be fun but it could be something ridiculously pointless that can happen and that's it, my mood changes and I can't get it back then. "
Same here. I have no answers.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I make it a good experienced. Talking beforehand to make sure there's a good connection and attraction helps. Only tiredness and a chicken burger have made it not so good
Sorry I have to ask, how did a chicken burger make it not so good?
"
Me eating it with a few vodkas too close to having sex meant I felt ill all evening. I did tell him I didn't want one but he didn't want to eat alone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
@Alicia and Sweet V, think a boyfriend is what I want! Takes a few attempts on the same guy to fine tune what you like!
@c life, I do tell guys exactly what I want in great detail and they all say they'll do it but in reality they don't. Generic messages like "oh what are you into what things do you like?" I'll tell them but when it comes down to it my ideas never materialise and that's not entirely down to the guy that's also because I think I would have felt stupid doing it.
I like to rim guys but not just lick lick that's it, I like the guy to really enjoy having it done because that is how I get pleasure from it,like it's gotta be a part of him that you can't just do for the sake of doing it, I like to get inside it as much as I can so I can taste flesh and like the guy to rip his own arse cheeks apart so I can get in deeper. I really enjoy it, I can't stress that enough but some guys and this could party be down to the fact that we both aren't comfortable with each other and might be slightly nervous, some guys will just bend over and let me at it purely because I've said I want to rim him. That's just one thing, the other is the bathing, I like to pretend that the guy has got some sort of injury and I'm his carer that has to chuck him in the bath and wash him, from that I will do inappropriate things to him like wank him off, put my nipples in his mouth or force his hands on me, via messaging I get guys saying like aw yeah this is great I'm fucking all over that, in reality they won't or it just feels weird. I like a guy to be fast asleep next to me and when I wake in the night ok suck him off or climb into his face and fuck his nose and chin and then put my fanny over his mouth and watch him struggling to breath, when he wakes I like him to pretend he's disorientated and I'm still his carer that is taking advantage of him. Again, getting guys to have full night meets where they sleep over is proving to be difficult so that idea is out the window.
My main thing is a guy finishing inside me but then eating his own cum as it dribbles out. Can't do that on here because it would involve bareback fucking and I wouldn't risk my sexual health unless I was 100% sure the dude was free from any nasties.
Then my next problem, from what I've described so far the guy thinks I'm 100% dom but I'm not, my mood will flip and then I've got a whole other lot of scenarios, I like to be asleep or pretend I'm asleep and a guy has stumbled upon me in a room at a house party, forcing his dick in my mouth or going down on me whilst I'm sleeping from there I'd wake up and try and fight him off but can't so I end up getting brutally fucked. Again can't do that with a one off guy cos the trust wouldn't be there.
I hate shit like this cos it makes me miss my ex and he's an absolute knob jockey. Really feel like I want a boyfriend again 
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
First time experiences are seldom "great" but if folks give brutally honest veris that says "I rank him as 26th out of 31, could try harder" it is not very flattering.
You say you "subtly" try and tell him what you like. I have known a fair few women and I don't think any two wanted exactly the same thing. Personally I love it if a woman says "do this" or "touch that" because you can pleasure them far better.
It is suggested above that before you go to bed you chat about what you like. This is easy really with Fab folks because you pretty well know you are going to have sex with them. A simple "What do you like and don't like in sex?" will open up a discussion. Don't forget though that a new man may have a technique that is new to you and one that will blow your mind.
Things will get better as you become more comfortable with the guys. Then you can get 3 together and really have a great time with a MMFM!!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think you need to make your expectations clear before meeting, and never mind being subtle, just say what you want.
It's that old self fulfilling prophesy - expect bad sex and... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I do discuss the things I like I really do, sometimes I think too much talk leading up to the meet can have the opposite affect, like built up too much sort of thing.
I like comfort and familiarity over spontaneous or new one off meets.
Sometimes I feel like I've only got one attempt at this guy so it needs to be amazing and that's when I think too much or worry that I'm shit. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
