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Scorned men
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"Ever come across one? I'm in the unfortunate position where I let myself have feelings for a dude who is totally void of emotion, was with his ex 8 years married for 4 then in Xmas '12 his wife told him she didn't love him anymore and they seperated. Now he says he'll never let himself have feelings for anyone ever again, doesn't trust women not to hurt him, says he doesn't need anyone, and isn't going to consider having a relationship for at least another 7 years (that's when he would have done his 22 years in the army) How come women can be shit on repeatedly yet are still able to have faith in men and willing to try again? My question... Is there anything a person can do to restore a mans faith in women again?" I don't think it's just a male thing. I'm much more cautious and less trusting than I used to be. I have a wall that needs to be breached first. | |||
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"My question... Is there anything a person can do to restore a mans faith in women again?" Two options - be a mate, be good to him, and don't behave like his ex-wife, or leave him to it. If he's been hurt then let him work it out in his own way. And, as said above, its not just men. I have no intention of ever having a relationship again because I am shit at them, so why put myself through it? I sympathise with the guy, and don't understand why people are considered 'incomplete' if they are not in a relationship. Let him lick his wounds. | |||
"This is a site full of damaged goods. Not really sure if it's the best place to ask. " I lost my receipt.  | |||
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"This is a site full of damaged goods. Not really sure if it's the best place to ask. "  | |||
"This is a site full of damaged goods. Not really sure if it's the best place to ask. "  | |||
"This is a site full of damaged goods. Not really sure if it's the best place to ask. I lost my receipt. "then the best you can hope for is an exchange. No receipt no refund!!! | |||
"Id not say he was void of emotion just wary.....sounds like your the scorned one because he doesn't reciprocate your feelings. " | |||
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"Ever come across one? I'm in the unfortunate position where I let myself have feelings for a dude who is totally void of emotion, was with his ex 8 years married for 4 then in Xmas '12 his wife told him she didn't love him anymore and they seperated. Now he says he'll never let himself have feelings for anyone ever again, doesn't trust women not to hurt him, says he doesn't need anyone, and isn't going to consider having a relationship for at least another 7 years (that's when he would have done his 22 years in the army) How come women can be shit on repeatedly yet are still able to have faith in men and willing to try again? My question... Is there anything a person can do to restore a mans faith in women again? I don't think it's just a male thing. I'm much more cautious and less trusting than I used to be. I have a wall that needs to be breached first." I get told alot by friends I have walls up & don't let them down | |||
" I get told alot by friends I have walls up & don't let them down"I think its just become habit for me. Last time a non-family member told me they loved me I was very discombobulated. Being asked to commit to a monogamous relationship actually sent me into a bit of a panic. | |||
"Ever come across one? I'm in the unfortunate position where I let myself have feelings for a dude who is totally void of emotion, was with his ex 8 years married for 4 then in Xmas '12 his wife told him she didn't love him anymore and they seperated. Now he says he'll never let himself have feelings for anyone ever again, doesn't trust women not to hurt him, says he doesn't need anyone, and isn't going to consider having a relationship for at least another 7 years (that's when he would have done his 22 years in the army) How come women can be shit on repeatedly yet are still able to have faith in men and willing to try again? My question... Is there anything a person can do to restore a mans faith in women again?" Many a women have fell for this line. This is a man's way of saying he likes you but is keeping his options open. People, whether male or female, are always open to love. With the right person. It's not something that can be controlled. It just happens Sarah x | |||
" I get told alot by friends I have walls up & don't let them down
I think its just become habit for me. Last time a non-family member told me they loved me I was very discombobulated. Being asked to commit to a monogamous relationship actually sent me into a bit of a panic."I'd love a monogamous relationship. just can't find one due to my walls. | |||
"Ever come across one? I'm in the unfortunate position where I let myself have feelings for a dude who is totally void of emotion, was with his ex 8 years married for 4 then in Xmas '12 his wife told him she didn't love him anymore and they seperated. Now he says he'll never let himself have feelings for anyone ever again, doesn't trust women not to hurt him, says he doesn't need anyone, and isn't going to consider having a relationship for at least another 7 years (that's when he would have done his 22 years in the army) How come women can be shit on repeatedly yet are still able to have faith in men and willing to try again? My question... Is there anything a person can do to restore a mans faith in women again?Many a women have fell for this line. This is a man's way of saying he likes you but is keeping his options open. People, whether male or female, are always open to love. With the right person. It's not something that can be controlled. It just happens Sarah x" That may be the case in a small percentage of men, but not all. A man's emotional state is something that rarely considered, especially when things go wrong in a relationship and then you get the hangers-on who just live pointing the finger and blaming everything on the poor sod. | |||
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"His wife had enough of the amount of time he was away, but she knew that when she first met him, he's been a paratrooper for 14 years, when she first met him he would have already been in the army 4 years. He thinks that because she couldn't handle him being away all the time he thinks that no woman could and if he let himself have feelings for someone again the same thing would happen! That's frustrating! He is void of emotion because he's had to be, he says showing emotion is a sign of weakness and that for his job he needs a clear mind so he's able to switch everything off whilst he's away. " Walk away while you still can? x | |||
"His wife had enough of the amount of time he was away, but she knew that when she first met him, he's been a paratrooper for 14 years, when she first met him he would have already been in the army 4 years. He thinks that because she couldn't handle him being away all the time he thinks that no woman could and if he let himself have feelings for someone again the same thing would happen! That's frustrating! He is void of emotion because he's had to be, he says showing emotion is a sign of weakness and that for his job he needs a clear mind so he's able to switch everything off whilst he's away. " I know a few guys in the forces, they also don't completely trust their wife while they're away, couple of them cheat while husband is away with work. not saying she did, or that you would but it's there in the back of the guys mind. equally wives think that about the husband | |||
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"I'm afraid to say that after my personal experiences that I'm very much the same as the guy you've met. Not something I really want to talk about in an open forum, but let's just say that, for now, I'm closed for business. However, I will continue to treat ladies with the up most respect, I just can't trust as easily as I used to." This applies to me too, although obviously with regards to men. Although I am open to a relationship after being single for 10 years, I do have major trust issues. Unfortunately this site does compound those issues for me too | |||
" Walk away while you still can? x" I've nothing to walk away from, I think this is a huge case of wanting what I can't have! I feel like I wanna fix him, he says that he wouldn't even consider having a relationship for at least 7.5 years when he leaves the army on completion of his 22 years. He'll be almost 40 then and his looks may not be as good and if he thinks he'd get a bird with his personality he'd be in for a shock! Personally if it were me I'd rather have someone now who supported me through the time I was away and everything else than find someone when I'm home free and with a big payout. I've met a lot of guys in the almost 4 years my ex and I separated, none have made me feel like he has and in such a short space of time too, he's interesting, this sounds cheesy as hell but I feel safe in his company! Like we were in a really busy services in England somewhere and we both went to the toilets for a pee, I came out and there was a huge swarm of people it was like a stampede and I couldn't see him, the people had shoved me along as far as costa's and I panicked cos he had the car keys plus my fags and shit were in the car, anyway he grips me by the back of neck then holds my hand and leads me through all the people who just seemed to part as he walked through them all! I was like I panicked then cos I couldn't see you and he was just like yeah well I spotted you straight away so it doesn't matter! Ahh I want him! | |||
"His wife had enough of the amount of time he was away, but she knew that when she first met him, he's been a paratrooper for 14 years, when she first met him he would have already been in the army 4 years. He thinks that because she couldn't handle him being away all the time he thinks that no woman could and if he let himself have feelings for someone again the same thing would happen! That's frustrating! He is void of emotion because he's had to be, he says showing emotion is a sign of weakness and that for his job he needs a clear mind so he's able to switch everything off whilst he's away. " I was married to a Para, 99% of them are void of emotion!!! | |||
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" I get told alot by friends I have walls up & don't let them down
I think its just become habit for me. Last time a non-family member told me they loved me I was very discombobulated. Being asked to commit to a monogamous relationship actually sent me into a bit of a panic."I'm a panicker too. Any time someone hints at a serious relationship I feel sick inside and start to do the what if thinking. I'm not ready for anything serious and may never be. I tell them that and it's nothing to do with keeping options open | |||
" Walk away while you still can? x I've nothing to walk away from, I think this is a huge case of wanting what I can't have! I feel like I wanna fix him, he says that he wouldn't even consider having a relationship for at least 7.5 years when he leaves the army on completion of his 22 years. He'll be almost 40 then and his looks may not be as good and if he thinks he'd get a bird with his personality he'd be in for a shock! Personally if it were me I'd rather have someone now who supported me through the time I was away and everything else than find someone when I'm home free and with a big payout. I've met a lot of guys in the almost 4 years my ex and I separated, none have made me feel like he has and in such a short space of time too, he's interesting, this sounds cheesy as hell but I feel safe in his company! Like we were in a really busy services in England somewhere and we both went to the toilets for a pee, I came out and there was a huge swarm of people it was like a stampede and I couldn't see him, the people had shoved me along as far as costa's and I panicked cos he had the car keys plus my fags and shit were in the car, anyway he grips me by the back of neck then holds my hand and leads me through all the people who just seemed to part as he walked through them all! I was like I panicked then cos I couldn't see you and he was just like yeah well I spotted you straight away so it doesn't matter! Ahh I want him!" That is the result of years of training on his part, not neccessarily just for you. I lived with a guy I wanted to 'fix' and it was the most frustrating and painful time of my life. Men who cant connect with their emotions dont make good life partners, unless you are willing to accept them as they are. | |||
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"This is a site full of damaged goods. Not really sure if it's the best place to ask. " Speak for yourself sunshine I'm not damaged, I choose to move on and not be  | |||
" I was married to a Para, 99% of them are void of emotion!!!" Yeah definitely! He's loves his guys and over the years has seen them get letters saying their gf/wife has done this or that, so even if he's only had one woman shit on him, he's seen lots of things happen to the guys he's out there with. Imagine the slagging off that women get when it's just a bunch of guys together! I also think paras are very egotistical! | |||
" I was married to a Para, 99% of them are void of emotion!!! Yeah definitely! He's loves his guys and over the years has seen them get letters saying their gf/wife has done this or that, so even if he's only had one woman shit on him, he's seen lots of things happen to the guys he's out there with. Imagine the slagging off that women get when it's just a bunch of guys together! I also think paras are very egotistical!" I've met some really nice guys In the para's and never came across as egotistical. I just think he hasn't met the one he wants to let his guard now with...you just know when you do meet that person. You have to take him as he is. You are not going to change him if you can't accept that then the best thing to do is walk away.  | |||
" How come women can be shit on repeatedly yet are still able to have faith in men and willing to try again? My question... Is there anything a person can do to restore a mans faith in women again?" not all women, I split with my ex nearly 7 years ago and have been single ever since, there is no way i will ever get into a relationship again I'd sooner stay single and doe lonely (so I keep being told ) than risk living the life I had with him again, I know not all men are the same, I rreally do but the problem is everyone is nice at the start of a relationship you don't find out their true colours rill it's to late and that's not a chance I'm willing to take | |||
"Ever come across one? I'm in the unfortunate position where I let myself have feelings for a dude who is totally void of emotion, " Was he on here?... I ask because you sound all loved up and you've only been on here for like 5 weeks.... | |||
" I was married to a Para, 99% of them are void of emotion!!! Yeah definitely! He's loves his guys and over the years has seen them get letters saying their gf/wife has done this or that, so even if he's only had one woman shit on him, he's seen lots of things happen to the guys he's out there with. Imagine the slagging off that women get when it's just a bunch of guys together! I also think paras are very egotistical! I've met some really nice guys In the para's and never came across as egotistical. I just think he hasn't met the one he wants to let his guard now with...you just know when you do meet that person. You have to take him as he is. You are not going to change him if you can't accept that then the best thing to do is walk away. "Meeting them and being married to one is a whole different ball game believe me xx | |||
" I was married to a Para, 99% of them are void of emotion!!! Yeah definitely! He's loves his guys and over the years has seen them get letters saying their gf/wife has done this or that, so even if he's only had one woman shit on him, he's seen lots of things happen to the guys he's out there with. Imagine the slagging off that women get when it's just a bunch of guys together! I also think paras are very egotistical! I've met some really nice guys In the para's and never came across as egotistical. I just think he hasn't met the one he wants to let his guard now with...you just know when you do meet that person. You have to take him as he is. You are not going to change him if you can't accept that then the best thing to do is walk away.
Meeting them and being married to one is a whole different ball game believe me xx"I can imagine I was married to a military man.. | |||
"Ever come across one? I'm in the unfortunate position where I let myself have feelings for a dude who is totally void of emotion, was with his ex 8 years married for 4 then in Xmas '12 his wife told him she didn't love him anymore and they seperated. Now he says he'll never let himself have feelings for anyone ever again, doesn't trust women not to hurt him, says he doesn't need anyone, and isn't going to consider having a relationship for at least another 7 years (that's when he would have done his 22 years in the army) How come women can be shit on repeatedly yet are still able to have faith in men and willing to try again? My question... Is there anything a person can do to restore a mans faith in women again?" Only "the one". The same with me. I don't mind a casual relationship but that's something that hasn't done for me yet. Been together 10 years with my ex but only because we have a kid together. I still run miles to the thought of opening up to someone and have the relationship talk or talk about marriage. Until, recently. There's this guys, He's the one... And he changed all of that. Yes, I want it all, I want to talk about everything and do everything... But he doesn't. Oh well! Back to my little world. | |||
" Walk away while you still can? x I've nothing to walk away from, I think this is a huge case of wanting what I can't have! I feel like I wanna fix him. " just curious about that phrase, is it the right basis for a relationship? sound more like a 'project', once you've achieved the repair what then? not having a go at you just wondering..? | |||
" Walk away while you still can? x I've nothing to walk away from, I think this is a huge case of wanting what I can't have! I feel like I wanna fix him, he says that he wouldn't even consider having a relationship for at least 7.5 years when he leaves the army on completion of his 22 years. He'll be almost 40 then and his looks may not be as good and if he thinks he'd get a bird with his personality he'd be in for a shock! Personally if it were me I'd rather have someone now who supported me through the time I was away and everything else than find someone when I'm home free and with a big payout. I've met a lot of guys in the almost 4 years my ex and I separated, none have made me feel like he has and in such a short space of time too, he's interesting, this sounds cheesy as hell but I feel safe in his company! Like we were in a really busy services in England somewhere and we both went to the toilets for a pee, I came out and there was a huge swarm of people it was like a stampede and I couldn't see him, the people had shoved me along as far as costa's and I panicked cos he had the car keys plus my fags and shit were in the car, anyway he grips me by the back of neck then holds my hand and leads me through all the people who just seemed to part as he walked through them all! I was like I panicked then cos I couldn't see you and he was just like yeah well I spotted you straight away so it doesn't matter! Ahh I want him! That is the result of years of training on his part, not neccessarily just for you. I lived with a guy I wanted to 'fix' and it was the most frustrating and painful time of my life. Men who cant connect with their emotions dont make good life partners, unless you are willing to accept them as they are. " Why would you want to be with someone to try and change him? He doesn't see himself as broken so he certainly won't want 'fixing' Personally if someone was devoid of emotion I would run a hundred miles from them, sounds cold and harsh. Why would you want to be with someone who had no care for you? Where there was no future? | |||
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" I was married to a Para, 99% of them are void of emotion!!! Yeah definitely! He's loves his guys and over the years has seen them get letters saying their gf/wife has done this or that, so even if he's only had one woman shit on him, he's seen lots of things happen to the guys he's out there with. Imagine the slagging off that women get when it's just a bunch of guys together! I also think paras are very egotistical!" You have no idea what a lot of us have been through. I can assure you it's not ego. | |||
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" Was he on here?... I ask because you sound all loved up and you've only been on here for like 5 weeks.... "Nooo, I met him on pof but we deleted our profiles 2 weeks later, well mine was deleted for a picture that breached their rules, he deleted his cos I asked him to! "I need to ask, you say that he's almost completely devoid of emotion, he doesn't trust women enough to have a relationship, and you say in 40 years he may not look as good, and apparently he'd be extremely lucky to get a girl with the type of personality he has. I'll be honest, this guy doesn't sound like much of a catch. Why do you have feelings for him? He's in the army so i'm going to assume he's got a fit body, and maybe a good cock? Are you sure you just don't think he's really fit and you (presumably) have good sex?" I have feelings for him because I like being in his company, like talking to him and listening to all his experiences and stuff, he is gorgeous, but his cock isn't the biggest I've had though it does meet my requirements, sex with him got slightly better each time but not the best sex I've ever had. He doesn't or won't do half the things I like, won't let me rim him at least whilst he's awake, I do it when he's sleeping just so I get my fix! He won't choke me or be brutal with me. When we had the talk about numbers (how many people we had fucked) I told him my truthful one making him the 22nd guy. He said he couldn't remember how many, that it was over 300 not including whores when he was based in Germany. (He had been tested for std's before I slept with him and was fine!) He may have slept with over 300 women but he's never had to make effort, never had to learn how to pleasure a woman, it's like bang first time rode him for like a minute and he cum straight away, ok he hadn't had sex for 6 months but still, it's not the best sex I've had but the potential is there and would get better. I would actually go as far as saying I love this knob, I know all apart his childhood and it was shit, hence why he joined the army when he was 16, and cos he's a para some superficial women will go for paras purely for that reason. Yes he is very physically fit but I'd bath a tramp off the street and fuck him if he was handsome and had a big cock. Job status, wealth, power means nothing to me. | |||
"Ever come across one? I'm in the unfortunate position where I let myself have feelings for a dude who is totally void of emotion, was with his ex 8 years married for 4 then in Xmas '12 his wife told him she didn't love him anymore and they seperated. Now he says he'll never let himself have feelings for anyone ever again, doesn't trust women not to hurt him, says he doesn't need anyone, and isn't going to consider having a relationship for at least another 7 years (that's when he would have done his 22 years in the army) How come women can be shit on repeatedly yet are still able to have faith in men and willing to try again? My question... Is there anything a person can do to restore a mans faith in women again?" If he is real, time is all you need to give him. Be yourself, don't rush him and over time the feelings of love will overwhelm the feelings of bitterness. | |||
" Walk away while you still can? x I've nothing to walk away from, I think this is a huge case of wanting what I can't have! I feel like I wanna fix him, he says that he wouldn't even consider having a relationship for at least 7.5 years when he leaves the army on completion of his 22 years. He'll be almost 40 then and his looks may not be as good and if he thinks he'd get a bird with his personality he'd be in for a shock! Personally if it were me I'd rather have someone now who supported me through the time I was away and everything else than find someone when I'm home free and with a big payout. I've met a lot of guys in the almost 4 years my ex and I separated, none have made me feel like he has and in such a short space of time too, he's interesting, this sounds cheesy as hell but I feel safe in his company! Like we were in a really busy services in England somewhere and we both went to the toilets for a pee, I came out and there was a huge swarm of people it was like a stampede and I couldn't see him, the people had shoved me along as far as costa's and I panicked cos he had the car keys plus my fags and shit were in the car, anyway he grips me by the back of neck then holds my hand and leads me through all the people who just seemed to part as he walked through them all! I was like I panicked then cos I couldn't see you and he was just like yeah well I spotted you straight away so it doesn't matter! Ahh I want him! That is the result of years of training on his part, not neccessarily just for you. I lived with a guy I wanted to 'fix' and it was the most frustrating and painful time of my life. Men who cant connect with their emotions dont make good life partners, unless you are willing to accept them as they are. Why would you want to be with someone to try and change him? He doesn't see himself as broken so he certainly won't want 'fixing' Personally if someone was devoid of emotion I would run a hundred miles from them, sounds cold and harsh. Why would you want to be with someone who had no care for you? Where there was no future?" The bottom line is you don't choose who you fall in love with. The old cliche about love being blind is very true. When you want someone so much it hurts, whatever friends and family say, you just can't help but try. I saw the 'good'in my man. Sadly I don't believe he ever loved me....largely because he told me so after 11 years of trying. He did not even shed a tear. So I guess the OP will just follow her heart. Here's a fiver for superglue...you may need it. | |||
