FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What mad lies were you told as a child?
What mad lies were you told as a child?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Oh, I've thought of one. Don't swallow chewing gum because it will wrap around your intestines and cause a strangulated hernia.
It wasn't my parents that told me that though and I didn't believe it for long because I tried it to see and never did expire from a strangulated hernia. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That there is a tooth fairy , an Easter bunny , a man in a red suit that delivers presents to the whole world in a night and that fairies live where trees meet across a road. I liked all those - even though they seem illogical as an adult !  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Half the stuff I was taught in primary school. My teachers weren't great. (I still have to occasionally correct my kids about stuff they are taught, because their teachers are often still teaching the same nonsense THEY were taught 20 years ago! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Half the stuff I was taught in primary school. My teachers weren't great. (I still have to occasionally correct my kids about stuff they are taught, because their teachers are often still teaching the same nonsense THEY were taught 20 years ago!"
You're not a conspiracy theorist are you? The Earth really is round.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My parents told me the inside of my pram/pushchair was an exact replica of the Kit from Knight Rider, of course, I was delighted and let my entire lower school know I had the coolest pushchair in the world.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Half the stuff I was taught in primary school. My teachers weren't great. (I still have to occasionally correct my kids about stuff they are taught, because their teachers are often still teaching the same nonsense THEY were taught 20 years ago!
You're not a conspiracy theorist are you? The Earth really is round. "
And I thought it rode round on the back of a turtle!
No, more like the maths and science which is taught because it gives easy answers, and teaching about Thomas Edison instead of Nikolas Tesla. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That dried banana skins could be smoked as a hallucinogenic. Although I think I was about 14.  "
That was true at one point. The herbicides they used years ago would dry on the skins and that was what made you high.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That eating carrots made you see in the dark and eating crusts made your hair curly!
my grandad used to say this xx"
The carrot thing was used in WW2 as a cover for our new radar system. Its was a propaganda campaign to confuse the Germans as to how we could shoot them down at night.
Studies in to Vitamin A in carrots and other veg has been be proved to be good for your eyesight |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That if you tread on a Beatle it will rain. I'm starting to think I come from a deranged family !  "
There's less chance of this nowadays seeing as only Ringo and Paul are left |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Every Sunday when I was about 5-6 I built a house of cards in my front room before bed and left it there overnight and always in the morning I found tiny goblets, salvers etc made from what could have been silver foil littered around outside it with crumbs from cake and tiny drops of spilled juice. There was also a note, the size of a postage stamp, tiny tiny writing thanking me for somewhere for the fairies to stay overnight. Sometimes they left their discarded ball gowns, the flower heads of snapdragons beautiful colours, with the stamens removed. I firmly believed the fairies had been and it made a little girl very happy. So maybe not lies, maybe kept a little girls beliefs going for a bit longer? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Every Sunday when I was about 5-6 I built a house of cards in my front room before bed and left it there overnight and always in the morning I found tiny goblets, salvers etc made from what could have been silver foil littered around outside it with crumbs from cake and tiny drops of spilled juice. There was also a note, the size of a postage stamp, tiny tiny writing thanking me for somewhere for the fairies to stay overnight. Sometimes they left their discarded ball gowns, the flower heads of snapdragons beautiful colours, with the stamens removed. I firmly believed the fairies had been and it made a little girl very happy. So maybe not lies, maybe kept a little girls beliefs going for a bit longer? "
That was a lovely thing that your parents did, what great memories  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That if you tread on a Beatle it will rain. I'm starting to think I come from a deranged family !
There's less chance of this nowadays seeing as only Ringo and Paul are left"
I'm not treading on anyone after my last escapade ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If you eat your crusts you will get curly hair or a hairy chest w hitch I found strange seen as I was a little girl.
I was told by a sibling that all babies are born girls but when they get to 5 some change into boys they said I would change. I was so worried thinking I was going to change on my birthday
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Almost all the physics I was taught at school.
Sat here having an Adolusian coffee on the red moon of Rigel Prime with my four armed lizardman best mate (he's called Nigel) watching purple ion plumes rise in the crater below has shown me that all my physics teachers were actually just dicks... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Santa .... now being older with my own son I wish he was real, I would cost me a hell of a lot less and it would be so much less hassle.
I use to tell my son...
At night his toys would to come alive, he had a bucket of dinosaurss and they have done things like tear toilet roll and squirt tooth paste, make bubbles in the bathtoom.
they have emptied porridge oats over the side and been found to be eating them..
they have got traped inside the fridge.
and have had a battle against green army men!!!   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
1. "Stick out your tongue so I can see if you're lying".
2. "Evel Kenievel lives there" (down the road from our house, said it every time and I was telling friends until a few years ago).
3. "Don't walk between those gates, you'll get electrocuted"
4. "Who can win the silence game?"
5. "Rumble strips are for blind drivers" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Every Sunday when I was about 5-6 I built a house of cards in my front room before bed and left it there overnight and always in the morning I found tiny goblets, salvers etc made from what could have been silver foil littered around outside it with crumbs from cake and tiny drops of spilled juice. There was also a note, the size of a postage stamp, tiny tiny writing thanking me for somewhere for the fairies to stay overnight. Sometimes they left their discarded ball gowns, the flower heads of snapdragons beautiful colours, with the stamens removed. I firmly believed the fairies had been and it made a little girl very happy. So maybe not lies, maybe kept a little girls beliefs going for a bit longer? "
That....is just awesome  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That if I told lies my tongue would turn black. "
Haha. I tell my kids that if they lie their tongue turns Blue - they believe me as well. Poor kids lol. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you eat your crusts you will get curly hair or a hairy chest w hitch I found strange seen as I was a little girl.
I was told by a sibling that all babies are born girls but when they get to 5 some change into boys they said I would change. I was so worried thinking I was going to change on my birthday
"
My nan started to lose it a bit and she used to say "eat your crust, they will make your teeth curly" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
I believed a certain famous comedian was my Uncle as our last name isn't so common...was gutted when I found out my dad had been telling me porkies, but I suppose it explained why he never visited us |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was told I was found in the bulrushes also my dad use to say lipstick was made from squashed bugs that scared me when elderly ladies wanted to kiss me"
Nah. But squashed bugs were in red food colouring (cochineal) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ussypussWoman
over a year ago
South Birmingham waiting for the bf to come back after crimbo |
I was told that santa was real and when I was about 8 and found out the truth I fell out with my mum and I've never forgiven her for it. Needless to say that I never lied about it to my kids |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My parents told me that a haggis was a 3 legged creature and that one leg was shorter than the other two and the way to catch it was to chase it up a hill because it could go up but due to its short leg it couldn't get back down. I believed this for a long time. It gave them much amusement  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Every Sunday when I was about 5-6 I built a house of cards in my front room before bed and left it there overnight and always in the morning I found tiny goblets, salvers etc made from what could have been silver foil littered around outside it with crumbs from cake and tiny drops of spilled juice. There was also a note, the size of a postage stamp, tiny tiny writing thanking me for somewhere for the fairies to stay overnight. Sometimes they left their discarded ball gowns, the flower heads of snapdragons beautiful colours, with the stamens removed. I firmly believed the fairies had been and it made a little girl very happy. So maybe not lies, maybe kept a little girls beliefs going for a bit longer? "
xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"One word: Catholicism. "
I am a Catholic girl. And yes know what you mean. I still go to mass every week though. Am surprised I haven't burst into flames when I walk through the door lol xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Everyone should get the same,
that good guys always get justice in the end,
that democracy is real,
that all religions are "peaceful"
that Santa is real,
that if you swallow an apple seed, a tree grows in your stomach,
that if you pull faces, when the wind blows your face will stay the same forever...
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"One word: Catholicism.
I am a Catholic girl. And yes know what you mean. I still go to mass every week though. Am surprised I haven't burst into flames when I walk through the door lol xx"
Me too, convinced I'm going to be hit by a bolt of lightning one of these days  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My friends dad told him that he had wiped out the dinosaurs with his tank when he was in the army. Funny thing was when my friend was at school and his teacher asked if anyone had a theory about the fate of the dinosaurs, he didn't hesitate to tell them in an authoritative tone what his father had told him. Imagine his surprise, and total embarrassment to find out he'd been the victim of a cruel lampoon! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
when I was a teenager, my mum insisted virgins can't use tampons and if she caught me with any, she knew I was a slag. I always wore them when I was a virgin, hated towels. Had to hide them under my mattress |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"mine was.....from my nan..u cant drink the water out of the upstairs taps in bathroom, as its not drinking water.../ i believed that til i was like 25  x"
actually she wasn't that wrong, the upstairs taps were usually from the storage tank. Which could be a bit manky, even lead lined. Downstairs, straight from supply. Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hortieWoman
over a year ago
Northampton |
over 30 years ago, when i lost my first teeth, mum said i had to phone the tooth fairy to let them know i had lost a tooth, and you could only get in touch with the tooth fairy by picking up the receiver and waiting...... after loooooong seconds, the tooth fairy picked up the phone, and i told her i had a tooth to collect, and she would thank me, and of course with her amazing fairy connections looking over all the children she always knew my name... and the next day, i had a pound note under my pillow.
one day, i never got my pound, and phoned up to ask what had happened. the tooth fairy said she was very sorry, but she had broken her wing, and would be with me that night.. and true to her word, i woke up with a pound note under my pillow.
found out years later my dad was the 'tooth fairy' on the phone extension upstairs
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *b586Couple
over a year ago
pemberton twp |
We were told if you can kiss your elbow you'd become the opposite of what you were. Girls could turn in to boys and boys could turn in to girls. Us kids spent tons of time at my Grams trying.
My parents used to say they were going to see a man about a horse. My brother and I were so excited and when they came home asked where the horse was. We later found out that's what they said when they were going out without us.
K |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The worst one I ever did and still feel guilty. Callums tooth came out and he swallowed it, I said be careful if you go to the toilet cause it will jump out and bite you on the bum. He refused to go to the toilet and ended up constipated |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I used to be petrified of thunder storms so to calm me down my parents told me it was just the clouds bumping into each other in the dark kinda cute really x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Every Sunday when I was about 5-6 I built a house of cards in my front room before bed and left it there overnight and always in the morning I found tiny goblets, salvers etc made from what could have been silver foil littered around outside it with crumbs from cake and tiny drops of spilled juice. There was also a note, the size of a postage stamp, tiny tiny writing thanking me for somewhere for the fairies to stay overnight. Sometimes they left their discarded ball gowns, the flower heads of snapdragons beautiful colours, with the stamens removed. I firmly believed the fairies had been and it made a little girl very happy. So maybe not lies, maybe kept a little girls beliefs going for a bit longer?
That....is just awesome "
so very lovely |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I didn't realise how many of these I'd been told and I still thought you shouldn't drink out the bathroom tap
"
Strangely theres a bit of truth in that one...The kitchen tap is usually straight off the mains, the bathroom one off the storage tank so mor echance of bits and lead in older houses.
xxxc |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you eat your crusts you will get curly hair or a hairy chest w hitch I found strange seen as I was a little girl.
I was told by a sibling that all babies are born girls but when they get to 5 some change into boys they said I would change. I was so worried thinking I was going to change on my birthday
"
That is mental awwww x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Eating vegetables puts hair on my chest.
Santa brought my Christmas gifts.
Tooth fairy paid me when a tooth fell out.
Carrots would make me see in the dark.
The moon is made of cheese.
Picking my nose could give me brain damage.
If I was pulling a face and the wind changed it would stop that way.
My parents told me loads of porkies
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
almost all of the above - loving all the fairy stuff i think its a magical part of childhood to have all this stuff when little - my girlie had a fairy 'lilac bush' who lived in her bedroom - home was a little wind chime hanging from a miniature bird box she had and swore to us she used to sing - even now (shes 20) gets defensive if we chat about it - |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I told my 5 year old daughter if she stamped her foot the devil would come through a crack in the floor and take her down to hell. She never did it again |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Being told all children were found under the Gooseberry bush!
And when my father went out on a Friday or Saturday night I was told he was off to see a man about a dog, never came back with one or if he had, he had lost it due to being shit faced! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you swallow chewing gum it wraps around your heart.
If you swallow apple pips, then a tree will grow in your stomach.
Its TRUE!!!!"
I used to be told this too - terrified me! And if I were to sniff a dandelion - I'd pee myself!
Sarah x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"That there is a tooth fairy , an Easter bunny , a man in a red suit that delivers presents to the whole world in a night and that fairies live where trees meet across a road. I liked all those - even though they seem illogical as an adult ! "
Erm hang on they are all true |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you swallow chewing gum it wraps around your heart.
If you swallow apple pips, then a tree will grow in your stomach.
Its TRUE!!!!I used to be told this too - terrified me! And if I were to sniff a dandelion - I'd pee myself!
Sarah x "
We had the dandelion on to! But you didn't sniff it, you rubbed it on your skin and you would wet the bed that night. Pin your mates down and cover them with it! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you swallow chewing gum it wraps around your heart.
If you swallow apple pips, then a tree will grow in your stomach.
Its TRUE!!!!I used to be told this too - terrified me! And if I were to sniff a dandelion - I'd pee myself!
Sarah x
We had the dandelion on to! But you didn't sniff it, you rubbed it on your skin and you would wet the bed that night. Pin your mates down and cover them with it!"
Haha yes you're right
Sarah x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Have a couple.
My nan used to say if we wandered of from her the bogey man would come. Turn us to sausages and sell us in the shops. Never left her side!
I tell mine. If you mess around in maccies you get a 'sad meal' which tastes horrid!
It's not beer is dad's lemonade!
The dogs/ cats are not dead on the side of the road! They are just sleeping as the road is warm!
And the biggest one I am ever telling them is............
Mummy and daddy won't be disappointed if you don't do well in your exams! As long as you try your hardest that's good enough!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
