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Advice requested

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hi Guys

Several years ago my ex cut my contact with my son......I've not seen or heard from him since for over 5 years now.....though she has let him call my mum at christmas the last few years.

I occasionally search facebook for him, just to see if he's there. I looked today and can see his smiling little face but, now worry. If I "friend" him, how will I know his mum isn't running the page and will just block me?

My question is, do any of you have 8-9 year olds? Do you let them onto facebook or do you have a page for them which you administer?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have inboxed you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How has she been allowed to cut off the contact?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How has she been allowed to cut off the contact?"

Trust me they can

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By *lackbirdtimestwoWoman over a year ago

birmingham

No mother can stop a father from seeing / having contact with their child, if your name is on the birth cert then you have parental responsibility, if you have that then a trip to family court will give you access,, I wouldnt suggest you go down the face book route, the child is too young to be having secrets from either parent and is she's any mother she'd be checking his page regularly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

no m8 they cant cut contact i know from experience she cant. She tried so i went to court and got full custody of my two kids who was 9 and 4 at the time

him

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No mother can stop a father from seeing / having contact with their child, if your name is on the birth cert then you have parental responsibility, if you have that then a trip to family court will give you access,, I wouldnt suggest you go down the face book route, the child is too young to be having secrets from either parent and is she's any mother she'd be checking his page regularly "

Haha all cases are diffrwnt sweety in last 5yrs ive spent in excess of 8grand and even been to a county court to see my son and 5yrs on i still havent seen him like i say all cases are diffrent

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

back when i was fighting for custody 2002--ish an unmarried father had no parental responsibility lol i had to apply to the courts for it lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

never give up trying, and save any eviedence so you can show your son in later life you tried everything you could see him, i have 3 daughters and my ex made it very difficult for me, so know what your going through, but dont give up mate, think about opening savings account in his name the he will know you always thinking of him when you put few pounds away for him every week.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

She can't legally cut contact. for that to happen you would have to be proved a threat to the children and i assume that hasn't happened. Also, who lets their 8-9 year old have a Facebook?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"No mother can stop a father from seeing / having contact with their child, if your name is on the birth cert then you have parental responsibility, if you have that then a trip to family court will give you access,, I wouldn't suggest you go down the face book route, the child is too young to be having secrets from either parent and is she's any mother she'd be checking his page regularly "

I wasn't on the birth certificate (it's complicated).

I was running down the family court route, but before I was able to issue the summons she moved house and changed all of her details (phone etc). Because I didn't have "parental responsibility" yet, my solicitor couldn't do anything, they refused to trace her and I've not had the money to trace her either.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That all sounds lovely in theory, I have been fighting for two years to get to the court stage so it's not always that simplistic.

And yes parents can just stop allowing contact.

Know how you feel mate, hope it gets sorted ASAP for you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

if your kids where born after a certain year you have parental rights automaatically these days...your problem is not being on the B/C

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"if your kids where born after a certain year you have parental rights automaatically these days...your problem is not being on the B/C"

Even being on the birth certificate doesn't make it quick process. I'm on the BC and its still took a hell of a long time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"She can't legally cut contact. for that to happen you would have to be proved a threat to the children and i assume that hasn't happened. Also, who lets their 8-9 year old have a Facebook?

God no. I have had several CRB checks (enhanced) since he was born and since this issue blew up.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"if your kids where born after a certain year you have parental rights automaatically these days...your problem is not being on the B/C

Even being on the birth certificate doesn't make it quick process. I'm on the BC and its still took a hell of a long time."

it was the same for me took ages m8 but the law changed in 2004 or around then stating if your kids was born after a certain year and on the B/C then you automatically have parental responsibility.

i couldn't even sign a paper if an emergency came home and they needed an op which was pathetic

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im sorry to say its all a crock of shit ive had the courts make an order that i have parental control wich only means your legally on the next of kin lists at school and can legally take your child to hospital and sign as a legall guardian and still to my dissmay i dont recieve any info from schools etc etc and recently wasnt allowed to visit my daughter in bch becouse becouse my ex hadnt told the hospital i was her father its all bolloxs we have no rights what so ever 5yrs and still waiting

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

thats all parental responsibilty is lol being able to sign forms and become next of kin BUT there is no court in this land that would stop a good dad having contact with his own kids in this day and age

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"if your kids where born after a certain year you have parental rights automaatically these days...your problem is not being on the B/C

Even being on the birth certificate doesn't make it quick process. I'm on the BC and its still took a hell of a long time.

it was the same for me took ages m8 but the law changed in 2004 or around then stating if your kids was born after a certain year and on the B/C then you automatically have parental responsibility.

i couldn't even sign a paper if an emergency came home and they needed an op which was pathetic"

Yes that all true, I have parental responsibility but she lives with her mum, her mum has just decided I'm not allowed to see her!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"if your kids where born after a certain year you have parental rights automaatically these days...your problem is not being on the B/C

Even being on the birth certificate doesn't make it quick process. I'm on the BC and its still took a hell of a long time.

it was the same for me took ages m8 but the law changed in 2004 or around then stating if your kids was born after a certain year and on the B/C then you automatically have parental responsibility.

i couldn't even sign a paper if an emergency came home and they needed an op which was pathetic

Yes that all true, I have parental responsibility but she lives with her mum, her mum has just decided I'm not allowed to see her!

and your only option is the courts which can take forever im afraid m8

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"if your kids where born after a certain year you have parental rights automaatically these days...your problem is not being on the B/C

Even being on the birth certificate doesn't make it quick process. I'm on the BC and its still took a hell of a long time.

it was the same for me took ages m8 but the law changed in 2004 or around then stating if your kids was born after a certain year and on the B/C then you automatically have parental responsibility.

i couldn't even sign a paper if an emergency came home and they needed an op which was pathetic

Yes that all true, I have parental responsibility but she lives with her mum, her mum has just decided I'm not allowed to see her!

and your only option is the courts which can take forever im afraid m8"

Yeah I'm almost at the end of that now but took a long was just saying it's certainly no quick solution. Ah just take her to court and that will be that.

If only

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By *ruitWoman over a year ago

near kings lynn

Not sure of the circumstances at all OP but I feel for you.

No parent should be allowing any child of that age to be on Facebook. I believe the legal age is 13 I think.

My child at that age wouldn't have a clue as they don't even know my email address and do not have a Mobile phone to put in.

I hope you get it sorted at some point xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"thats all parental responsibilty is lol being able to sign forms and become next of kin BUT there is no court in this land that would stop a good dad having contact with his own kids in this day and age"

Well after a devon county hearing at exeter and a cafcas interview and mediation and like i say 5yrs and 8k still no contact the courts now put it in the hands of the child and if like mine they get brain washed by negativity of the parent if child reasanabky says no dont wanna see its game over i dont see my son aged 15 now but i do see my daughter 12 age ahe was to young to be able to say

All i can say to op is get in there quick bud cafcas courts mediation do the lot before the age becomes a prob

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"if your kids where born after a certain year you have parental rights automaatically these days...your problem is not being on the B/C

Even being on the birth certificate doesn't make it quick process. I'm on the BC and its still took a hell of a long time.

it was the same for me took ages m8 but the law changed in 2004 or around then stating if your kids was born after a certain year and on the B/C then you automatically have parental responsibility.

i couldn't even sign a paper if an emergency came home and they needed an op which was pathetic

Yes that all true, I have parental responsibility but she lives with her mum, her mum has just decided I'm not allowed to see her!

and your only option is the courts which can take forever im afraid m8

Yeah I'm almost at the end of that now but took a long was just saying it's certainly no quick solution. Ah just take her to court and that will be that.

If only "

i went for full custody.she didnt want to be in a relationship with me so why should i have to leave my kids and miss out on them growing up ? the kids school gave me letters to present to the courts saying how much better and more settled they was in my care.I suppose tho i was lucky because 1 day she said come and have the kids ive had enough so i did.then 2 weeks later she turned up screaming for them back pfftt

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

CafCas the joys of mediation lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi Guys

Several years ago my ex cut my contact with my son......I've not seen or heard from him since for over 5 years now.....though she has let him call my mum at christmas the last few years.

My question is, do any of you have 8-9 year olds? Do you let them onto facebook or do you have a page for them which you administer?"

I wouldn't let my son near Facebook and he's 10

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ha ha ha yea except if the mother doesn't turn up in court nothing will happen to her!!! I know this as my daughters boyfriend has a little girl with an ex and has parental responsibility but still can't see his little girl

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"CafCas the joys of mediation lol"

So agree with this, total waste of the time taken to write the vile word

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ive a 9 year old and now way would she have access to any social networking ormedia sites...she cacan't access anything unsuitable from her tablet either.

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By *rtemisiaWoman over a year ago

Norwich

"Hi Guys

Several years ago my ex cut my contact with my son......I've not seen or heard from him since for over 5 years now.....though she has let him call my mum at christmas the last few years.

My question is, do any of you have 8-9 year olds? Do you let them onto facebook or do you have a page for them which you administer?"

This is very sad and he won't thank her for it when he's older. Take it to court!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How has she been allowed to cut off the contact?

Trust me they can "

Trust me they cant unless social services get a court order stating your not fit to be around the child. Without that you goto court and you get access

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How has she been allowed to cut off the contact?

Trust me they can "

Erm, actually they can't. Technically this amounts to child abuse.

I went through long and arduous litigation when my ex tried to stop me having any contact with my kids. I now have a shared residence order.

Suggest you speak to a solicitor - you can usually get half hour free advice.

As regards OP's question, my eldest is nearly 9 and I won't let her use Facebook yet. Facebook themselves stipulate a minimum age of 13.

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By *anchestercubMan over a year ago

manchester & NI

A parent can do all the right things and still no be able to get access to their child.

You might legally have shared responsibility for the child but in reality the courts are very reluctant to enforce any punishment for breaching a contact order. And so the cycle continues.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A parent can do all the right things and still no be able to get access to their child.

You might legally have shared responsibility for the child but in reality the courts are very reluctant to enforce any punishment for breaching a contact order. And so the cycle continues. "

The reality is a breach of a contact order is contempt of court and the courts take it very seriously as my ex discovered

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By *dventuroususCouple over a year ago

sunderland

It is illegal for a mother to stop a father having a relationship with there child unless there is good reason to do so, this is the actual law as it stands now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A parent can do all the right things and still no be able to get access to their child.

You might legally have shared responsibility for the child but in reality the courts are very reluctant to enforce any punishment for breaching a contact order. And so the cycle continues.

The reality is a breach of a contact order is contempt of court and the courts take it very seriously as my ex discovered

They might where you are but they don't give a shit here as it's been 4 months since my daughters boyfriend saw his little girl and he's no money left to take her to court

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If she refuses to hand the children over when a court order says she must he can go to the police as it can be classed as kidnap!

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By *arry247Couple over a year ago

Wakefield

Legally she cannot stop access but in practice she can very easily.

She just has to say the child was sick that day or the child did not want to see his/her dad or he/she was going to a friends party etc. and she was not going to force him/her.

One small change the parents no longer get legal aid to fight such cases and now have to pay. This might help in a few cases.

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