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By *hinaManMan
over a year ago
Twickenham |
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
C*ND*M USE ON AN AIRCRAFT
A man and a woman are seated next to each other on a flight. They start eying each other, and both realize they want to do the same thing. He slips a c*nd*m out of his pocket, and she looks delighted.
Rear toilet? He suggests. Five minutes, she agrees and goes off. He waits five minutes, then goes and slips in there with her. Right, get that c*nd*m on, she says. Soon, they are both sighing with pleasure.
But a sharp eyed stewardess has noticed them, and realized what they are up to, So, she humiliates them by making an announcement over the PA system. "To the lady and gentleman in the rear toilet, we know what you are doing, and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulations. Now, please put those cigarettes out and take the c*nd*m off the smoke detector."
And what were you thinking?
I worry about you sometimes! |
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they end up having to share a bed.
In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!"
The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too.
Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's strange, I dreamt I was skiing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"C*ND*M USE ON AN AIRCRAFT
A man and a woman are seated next to each other on a flight. They start eying each other, and both realize they want to do the same thing. He slips a c*nd*m out of his pocket, and she looks delighted.
Rear toilet? He suggests. Five minutes, she agrees and goes off. He waits five minutes, then goes and slips in there with her. Right, get that c*nd*m on, she says. Soon, they are both sighing with pleasure.
But a sharp eyed stewardess has noticed them, and realized what they are up to, So, she humiliates them by making an announcement over the PA system. "To the lady and gentleman in the rear toilet, we know what you are doing, and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulations. Now, please put those cigarettes out and take the c*nd*m off the smoke detector."
And what were you thinking?
I worry about you sometimes!"
I was thinking, why are we not allowed to write condom? |
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:
Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitch-hiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'
Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'
Man: 'What sins?'
Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'
Man: 'I'm Jewish.'
Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'
Man: 'I'm 92 years old . . . . I'm telling everybody!' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"First woman on the Moon:
"Houston, we have a problem."
What?
"Never mind"
What's the problem?
"Nothing"
Please tell us?
"You know what the problem is.""
  love it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dustbin man knocks on Chinese takeaway door says to owner 'Wheres ya bin ? ' Chinese man says 'I bin toilet ' Dustman shakes his head and says 'No mate wheres ya dust bin ? ' Chinese man says ' Yes I dust bin toilet ' Dustman frustratedly says ' No wheres ya wheelie bin ?? ' Chinese man looks embarrassed and says ' Ok I wheelie bin aving a wank '. |
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