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worst first messages
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Design your own worst first introductory messages.
You're not what I call attractive but just might be better than my hand, if you buy me a few drinks first and bring some friends for my first fffm meet and perform for my pleasure.
Not the worst but enough of a deterrent. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As I've not had any meets yet I thought I would lower my standards and give you a message. Whilst you don't seem remotely interesting or intelligent or look attractive in any way, I really, really need to unload. So, hows about it?
I've got kik if you want to talk on that. |
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I could just go to my sent box and copy and paste but I dont think Im allowed so I'll make one up:
Hi, I like Fox's and Dogs. Your a dog but after 6 pints I reckon you'll be a fox. Now while I dont class myself as a gambler I reckon your worth the risk.
6 pints is the social bit and if it works out I could be elbow deep by 1am.
If this appeals to you please let me know, I fully understand if you think you get a better offer and take them up on it.
x |
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As my verifications show, they've all preferred bareback with me, so let's do this properly. Added bonus, you can get more in benefits after 9 months, so you'll be able to afford some nicer clothes than your pics show.
I'm not like all the others on here, I will always speak to you in person, not ignore you in public.
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"Hi. I can't last long the first time as its ages since My missus let me fuck her, but I'll let you enjoy it more as soon as she's gone to sleep and I sneak back over. I ain't fussy, and I know you ain't so act like you're enjoying it" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't got any fuck requests from women for months, so will design my own lol: Hey need a willing mouth to drain my cock of milk behind a bush tonight  |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
I got something along the lines of...
Your a bit of a scrawny, scrag end bitch, but none of the BBW will meet, so my cocks hard, you ready to go?
Of course, my knicker elastic pinged, I was immediately wet, and jumped in the car to go meet him (only 350 miles away - bonus)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No hello no introduction,
Just....face pic & a random friends request.
They could not even spell face pic correctly yet regarded themselves as quite the catch.
Yeah! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just received "I want to lick a black guys cum out your a@@hole".
I can put up one of these every 5 mins. I get this shit all day long! "
I've had this one too on more than one occasion.. He must be a cut n paster lol!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just received "I want to lick a black guys cum out your a@@hole".
I can put up one of these every 5 mins. I get this shit all day long!
I've had this one too on more than one occasion.. He must be a cut n paster lol!!"
Yay! I'm glad i'm not alone!  |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
you free mid-day monday. The missus is taking the kids shopping for the day and I'd let you suck me dry if you've a wide pussy as I'm a big lad...
Delightful - again knicker elastic gone, excited... checked diary - damn I'm down to walk next door's sisters neighbours aunties golfish...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"you free mid-day monday. The missus is taking the kids shopping for the day and I'd let you suck me dry if you've a wide pussy as I'm a big lad...
Delightful - again knicker elastic gone, excited... checked diary - damn I'm down to walk next door's sisters neighbours aunties golfish... "
I got a similar message today! But his wife was asleep on pills upstairs. Obviously i ran round to his house and jumped right on it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""I want to write on your face with my dick."
I received that 10 mins ago.
So where and when are you meeting him, I could maybe pop along and correct the spelling    "
Lol! How wrong can a guy go with "OMG"? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lol! How wrong can a guy go with "OMG"?
Could run out after OM that would be a meditative error "
How did you know i was a Buddhist? And mr bbc, i must just have a very clean mind. |
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By *r jblMan
over a year ago
from parts unknown |
"Lol! How wrong can a guy go with "OMG"?
Could run out after OM that would be a meditative error
How did you know i was a Buddhist? And mr bbc, i must just have a very clean mind. "
. That's what i'am on about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Must have one of them profiles I guess, its not the only one I've received like that  "
It's good being an older bloke, don't get that sort of message only ever had messages I liked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Real message received:
Can I use use you as a toilet, I'd love to shit all over you
Must have one of them profiles I guess, its not the only one I've received like that "
I've had that. I can't believe some of the things guys get off on. |
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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago
Pleasuretown |
"Real message received:
Can I use use you as a toilet, I'd love to shit all over you
Must have one of them profiles I guess, its not the only one I've received like that
I've had that. I can't believe some of the things guys get off on."
Yeah, ive had messages like that too :/ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From an actual message.
'I want to breed you'  "
Make sure you get the costs up front, was it £480,000 to age 11, so double that, plus Uni fees then don't forget wedding costs if it's a girl and deposit for house etc. etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From a guy with a couple's profile: 'my wife's a violent alcoholic so I only play alone'. An enticing opening gambit....."
Translated .... she gets really pissed off and batters me for playing around without her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just received "I want to lick a black guys cum out your a@@hole".
I can put up one of these every 5 mins. I get this shit all day long!
I've had this one too on more than one occasion.. He must be a cut n paster lol!!"
Me too, gets so often now you look at the message and think "Tuesday already" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If your man can't satisfy you I'm sure I can ( a picture of his cock )I quickly replied with a pic of hubby's larger one and never heard from him again "
I've had messages like this before! Hate guys the just assume! |
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