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Film and Telly quotes

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hey hey people. . Lets get saturday off with a giggle. . Post up quotes from films or tv that make you smile. I'll start the ball rolling . "Why do you have to be such a wanker ?" "Coz I get off on it" (kelly le brock to bill paxman in Wierd Science)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

fuzzy wuzzy was a woman!!! See no evil hear no evil (was on in the backroad last night but made me laugh)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Parkour Parkour,

Schmidt doing parkour in new girl

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By *octor DeleriumMan over a year ago

Wellingborough

'Here's Johnny!'

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"fuzzy wuzzy was a woman!!! See no evil hear no evil (was on in the backroad last night but made me laugh)"
fantastic film . . Well done ! . . . " i hate illinois Nazis" Blues Brothers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have… seen things you people wouldn't believe…

Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate.

All those… moments… will be lost in time, like tears… in… rain.

Time… to die…

Roy Batty's death scene from Bladerunner.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have… seen things you people wouldn't believe…

Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate.

All those… moments… will be lost in time, like tears… in… rain.

Time… to die…

Roy Batty's death scene from Bladerunner."
" wake up . . Time to die" . . Same film I think

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your only Spossed to blow the Bloody Doors off

Get Gimp

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have… seen things you people wouldn't believe…

Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate.

All those… moments… will be lost in time, like tears… in… rain.

Time… to die…

Roy Batty's death scene from Bladerunner. " wake up . . Time to die" . . Same film I think "

It is indeed..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This time next year we'll be millionaires

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"For when Eric eats a banana, an amazing transformation occurs......"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What does the " P" stand for ? PUSSY... ARNIE IN RAW DEAL

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Fellas. . This is neither the time nor the place to perform some kinda half ass autopsy on a fish . And I for one, am not going to stand here, see that thing cut open and watch that little kitner boy spill out all over the dock ! (best film for dialogue ever . . Jaws )

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm the fuckin daddy

Her

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm the fuckin daddy

Her"
where's yer tool ? (ray winny was kicked out of acting school and just went with his mates on that day to the bbc when there were going to an audition. . Receptionist suggested he might as well go and meet the director . . And he liked the way he walked. . Gave him his first role. . 4737 carling sir )

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In the quiet words of The Virgin Mary...come again?....love this film

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

do or do not ... there is no try

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nice beaver.

Don't call me Shirley.

Two Leslie Nielsen films that were first to come to my head.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm the fuckin daddy

Herwhere's yer tool ? (ray winny was kicked out of acting school and just went with his mates on that day to the bbc when there were going to an audition. . Receptionist suggested he might as well go and meet the director . . And he liked the way he walked. . Gave him his first role. . 4737 carling sir )"
I never knew that ( big Winstone fan me )

Her

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sex Panther...70% of the time it works every time"

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By *ordonBennettMan over a year ago

dover

You're gonna need a bigger boat....

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By *mandaboundTV/TS over a year ago

Newton Le Willows

Randy: Excuse me sir, there's been a little problem in the cockpit…

Striker: The cockpit…what is it?

Randy: It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but that's not important right now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's not hip hop,

It's electro.

Prick

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You're about one cunt hair away from hillbilly heaven " Blade 2

"You cock juggling thundercunt " Blade Trinity

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Badges!

We don't need no stinkin badges!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Randy: Excuse me sir, there's been a little problem in the cockpit…

Striker: The cockpit…what is it?

Randy: It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but that's not important right now."

Or the timeless classic..."surely you can't be serious? " "I am. And don't call me Shirley"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hello Dave, would you like to buy some pegs. I didnt realy like the tv show league of gentlemen but papa lazaro was brilliant. you're my wife now!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Taggart: I got it! I got it!

Hedley Lamarr: You do?

Taggart: We'll work up a Number 6 on 'em.

Hedley Lamarr: [frowns] "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one.

Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a-whompin' and a-whumpin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.

Hedley Lamarr: You spare the women?

Taggart: Naw, we rape the shit out of them at the Number Six Dance later on.

Hedley Lamarr: Marvelous !

Blazing Saddles

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hello Dave, would you like to buy some pegs. I didnt realy like the tv show league of gentlemen but papa lazaro was brilliant. you're my wife now!

"
Otum . . Sprow. . Sandwoc. . Khana . . Teekabana. . Es so iseris me !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'll have what she's having.

When Harry met Sally.

The last time I was inside a woman was when I was in the Empire State Building.

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By *.nottsbloke..Man over a year ago

the vale

Ever seen a grown man naked.

Airplane

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Do you know what nemesis means ? Righteous infliction of retribution, manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by a 'orrible cunt. . . ME !

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

If the milk turns sour I'm not the kind of pussy to drink it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hey vasquez. . Have you ever been mistaken for a man ? . . . No . . Have you ? (aliens)

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By *ench and StripeCouple over a year ago

Stenalees

Dave Bowman: Hello, HAL. Do you read me, HAL?

HAL: Affirmative, Dave. I read you.

Dave Bowman: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

HAL: I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

Dave Bowman: What's the problem?

HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.

Dave Bowman: What are you talking about, HAL?

HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

Dave Bowman: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL.

HAL: I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.

Dave Bowman: [feigning ignorance] Where the hell did you get that idea, HAL?

HAL: Dave, although you took very thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.

Dave Bowman: Alright, HAL. I'll go in through the emergency airlock.

HAL: Without your space helmet, Dave? You're going to find that rather difficult.

Dave Bowman: HAL, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the doors!

HAL: Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

2001 ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Forgive my partner, she's dead

Bond of course

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Alright . . Now listen to me carefully. . I . . I . . I've changed my mind . . I'm going to let her die. . I just wanted you to know that. . Don't you see ? I wanted you to know before i killed you. . Goodbye callahan (scorpion best ever nutcase)

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

""Sex Panther...70% of the time it works every time"

SEXXX!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ray, if someone asks if you are a God, you say YES!

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

I hear they've named the baby Rodney after you Dave

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You stupid fucking cunt.you.I'm talking to you shithead" Al Pacinos character in glengarryglenross,to kevin spacey

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hey Queenie. . Am I pleased to see you or is this a CANOE in my trousers (best ever hero . . Lord Flash Hart) . . Hey Bish . . Still worshipping God ? Last thing I heard , he'd started worshipping Me !

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I hear they've named the baby Rodney after you Dave

"
Ah . . Roger . . Sadly missed

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

Rodney you plonker!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've seen it all now!

Really?! Have you ever seen a man eat his own head?

Then you've not seen everything have you!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Orange is shot. . We gotta get him help . . Ok ok. . I'm gonna call somebody.. Who you gonna call ? A FUCKIN SNAKE CHARMER who'd you think ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"O.m.g we better get this woman to a hospital"

Why, what is it?

"it's a big white building in the city where sick people go to get better, but that's not important right now" . X

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Oh no . . I shot marvin in the face !

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By *.nottsbloke..Man over a year ago

the vale

Don't call me Shirley

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By *ll of a QuiverCouple over a year ago

Douglas

"In the quiet words of The Virgin Mary...come again?....love this film

You can keep that silly, fat wanker....the boys can't lift him! Same film

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"In the quiet words of The Virgin Mary...come again?....love this film

You can keep that silly, fat wanker....the boys can't lift him! Same film"
i Hate leaving america for anywhere that doesn't have warm sandy beaches and cocktails with little straw hats ! We have beaches Avi ! Yeah ? Well who the fuck wants to see em ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Within a minute. . Harry's lost his rag and picks up the first thing to hand. . Which happened to be a 15 inch black rubber cock. He then proceeds to batter poor smiffy to death with it. Now that was considered a pleasant way to go !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not quite a quote, more of a scene from The Other Guys, but still laugh every time

Terry Hoitz: No, I don't like you. I think you're a fake cop. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine. If you were in the wild, I would attack you, even if you weren't in my food chain. I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you and then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.

Allen Gamble: OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean. Lions don't like water. If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that make sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated and said 'You know what, lion tastes good, let's go get some more lion'. We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.

Terry Hoitz: How you gonna do that?

Allen Gamble: We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time. An hour? Hour forty-five? No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get some more oxygen, and stalk you. You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and out-manned.

[pause]

Allen Gamble: Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? Nope.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

'Pretty fuckin please with a cherry on top, now clean the fuckin car'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

'Hey nobody steps on a church in my town!'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

'I know what you're thinking, did he shoot five or six times...well in all the excitement I kinda lost count myself. so what do you think punk, do you feel lucky?' The immense Clint Eastwood in dirty harry

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not quite a quote, more of a scene from The Other Guys, but still laugh every time

Terry Hoitz: How you gonna do that?

[pause]

Allen Gamble: Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? Nope.

Lol, love Will Ferrell

'SANTA!! Oh my god I know him!'

'Hi I'm Buddy the elf, what's your favourite colour?'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."

They may take our lives, but they will never take our FREEEEEEDOM!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Here are a few for you...

Judge me by my size do you?

Look at the size of that thing!

You came in that thing?

And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!

Guess what my favourite film series is, lol.

Oh, and how about these two.

'When this baby hits 88mph, you're gonna see some serious shit'

'Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads'

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By *lligator3Man over a year ago

Dundee

'He did it!' (points left) - home alone 2

I'll let you all work out which bit that is

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Here are a few for you...

Judge me by my size do you?

Look at the size of that thing!

You came in that thing?

And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!

Guess what my favourite film series is, lol.

Oh, and how about these two.

'When this baby hits 88mph, you're gonna see some serious shit'

'Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads'"
i hope they kill her . . I'm beginning to like her .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hey. . What's a beautiful woman like you doing with a malaka like this ? It's purely sexual. . No shit ! What can i say Dino. . I guess she's into Malakas !

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

A fairly obscure one:

'There's nobody here, but us chickens.'

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

Is this some white cunts joke that black cunts don't get? Cause I'm not fucking laughing Nicholas

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is this some white cunts joke that black cunts don't get? Cause I'm not fucking laughing Nicholas "
lock stock!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A fairly obscure one:

'There's nobody here, but us chickens.'

"
is that that really old sitcom set in a prison

with robert lyndsay ?

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

Rory Breaker:

If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

That white shite steals my tins and then tries to sell it back to me ? He must have even less brains than you lenny !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am the law!

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

Ohhh yeah, that's a piece of me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm the party pooper

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Bring out the gimp. . The gimps sleeping. Well i guess you'll just have to go wake him up now won't you !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

theres a lot of holes out in the dessert. A lot of problems buried in those holes

joe pesci - Casino

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Party. . P A R T. . . Why ? Coz i GOTTA !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi! I’m Martin Blank, do you remember me? I’m not married, I don’t have any kids, and I’d blow your head off if someone paid me enough."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hello Dave, would you like to buy some pegs. I didnt realy like the tv show league of gentlemen but papa lazaro was brilliant. you're my wife now!

Otum . . Sprow. . Sandwoc. . Khana . . Teekabana. . Es so iseris me !"

Is that you Dave.....roared with laughter at Papa Lazaro.....scary stuff too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""Hi! I’m Martin Blank, do you remember me? I’m not married, I don’t have any kids, and I’d blow your head off if someone paid me enough.""

Only my fav film ever

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A gun rack?

I don't own a gun,

Let alone many guns, to necessitate a gun rack!

Exsqueeze me are you mental?

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By *lovisMan over a year ago

Twickenham

Kevin Costner as Crash Davies in 'Bull Durham '

"Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days."

Just about covers everything

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/10/14 16:39:43]

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"A fairly obscure one:

'There's nobody here, but us chickens.'

is that that really old sitcom set in a prison

with robert lyndsay ? "

No, but close.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

She says the jungle. . It just came alive and took him

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/10/14 17:01:24]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck a right Clyde

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The space goes down, down baby, down,down the roller coaster. Sweet,sweet baby,sweet sweet, don't let me go . Shimmy shimmy cocoa pop , shimmy shimmy rock . Shimmy shimmy cocoa pop, shimmy shimmy rock. I met a girlfriend- a triscuit, she said a triscuit a biscuit. Ice cream soda pop vanilla on the top. Ooh shelly's out , walkin down the street , ten times a week. I read it , i said it . I stole my momma's credit. I'm cool i'm hot . Sock me in the stomach three more times !

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

E'S NOT THE MESSIAH . . E'S A VERY NAWTY BOY ! NOW GO AWAY

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

"Any of you fuckin' pricks move and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of you!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"1,2,3,4,5? Sounds the combination some idiot would have on their luggage!"

And

"thats not them! We've captured their stunt doubles!“

Lol classic

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hey chief . . I see you got your rubbers !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Where's your hand?

Between two pillows!

Those aren't pillows!!!!!!

Ahhhh..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""For when Eric eats a banana, an amazing transformation occurs......""

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

He made a fair move . . Screaming about it won't help . . It's not wise to upset chewy. . Nobody ever worries about upsetting a droid. That's because droids don't pull people's arms outta thier sockets when they lose. . I see your point sir . I suggest a new strategy R2. . Let the wookie win

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Where's your hand?

Between two pillows!

Those aren't pillows!!!!!!

Ahhhh..

"
see the Bear's game last night ? Yeah great game . .yeah !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Smoke me a kipper I'll be back for breakfast

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

We grow copious amounts of ganga yeah ? And you're carrying a wasted girl and a bag of fertiliser. You don't look like you're average hortifuckingculturalist !

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Smoke me a kipper I'll be back for breakfast

"
stoke me a clipper. . I'll be back for christmas !

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

If you don't want to be counting the fingers you haven't got, I suggest you get those guns. Quick!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Cracking toast Gromit !

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

You killed Kenny you bastard!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Oh Lisa honey. . Just because i don't care it doesn't mean i don't understand !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Durka Durka jihad durka

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

No no . . Is siberian hamster. . No Manuel it's a rat. . Surely you've seen one in spain or did franco have them all shot ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No no . . Is siberian hamster. . No Manuel it's a rat. . Surely you've seen one in spain or did franco have them all shot ? "

Quality.

"the sea is over there! Between the land and the sky!" lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"No no . . Is siberian hamster. . No Manuel it's a rat. . Surely you've seen one in spain or did franco have them all shot ?

Quality.

"the sea is over there! Between the land and the sky!" lol"
Excuse me. . Is this a piece of your brain ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""1,2,3,4,5? Sounds the combination some idiot would have on their luggage!"

And

"thats not them! We've captured their stunt doubles!“

Lol classic"

I'd completely forgotten about spaceballs, how do you forget space balls?!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

May the swartz be with you

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This thread is epic. . I've been chuckling all day. (that's not a quote by the way. . Heh )

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did you just call me blob?

No Bubb

You did it again called me blob

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Don't threaten me Al . . You're out of shape. . I'll kick your arse !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/10/14 18:40:42]

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

You guys suck I'm going home!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No no . . Is siberian hamster. . No Manuel it's a rat. . Surely you've seen one in spain or did franco have them all shot ?

Quality.

"the sea is over there! Between the land and the sky!" lol Excuse me. . Is this a piece of your brain ? "

Don't mention the war!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I don't fackin believe this , can everyone stop gettin shot !

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Who makes all these swords . ? . I Do. . And i practice with them 3 hours a day. You wanna get yourself a girl mate !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it!

Withnail and I

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

That's not a knife! This is a Knife!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""1,2,3,4,5? Sounds the combination some idiot would have on their luggage!"

And

"thats not them! We've captured their stunt doubles!“

Lol classic

I'd completely forgotten about spaceballs, how do you forget space balls?!!"

I know! I thought the same about fawlty towers too

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

" You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it!

Withnail and I

"
oh monty you really are a terrible cunt !

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

No stairway to heaven. . Denied !

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Here's to swimmin with bow legged women

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By *carineMan over a year ago

Armthorpe, Doncaster

V: But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona.

V: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.

[carves "V" into poster on wall]

V: The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.

V: [giggles]

V: Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You hear that mister anderson ? That is the sound of inevitability

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do I make you Horny baby? Randy?

Well do I??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You hear that mister anderson ? That is the sound of inevitability "
train screeches to a holt neo escapes and smith comes through the doors of the train !!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Did you just call me blob?

No Bubb

You did it again called me blob "
wolverine x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bobby: I wanna make a toast to Evelyn Mercer, the greatest mother four degenerate bastards ever had. Pour me and my brothers another round, and some nice warm milk for my little sister.

Jack: Man, I will drink you under the table.

Bobby: We're not talking about sperm, Jack, this is whiskey.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Bobby: I wanna make a toast to Evelyn Mercer, the greatest mother four degenerate bastards ever had. Pour me and my brothers another round, and some nice warm milk for my little sister.

Jack: Man, I will drink you under the table.

Bobby: We're not talking about sperm, Jack, this is whiskey."
four brothers .. Great film

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

COOOOWWWWABUNGA

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh Lisa honey. . Just because i don't care it doesn't mean i don't understand ! "
simpsons

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Calm down Lynn. You're suffering from mild women's whip lash.

Michael. Release the head master.

It's just a wet t shirt competition Lynn. Not hard core super sex.

Shall I do the other one now.

Alan partridge

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS over a year ago

London

"your mother is so old, her breast milk is powder"

White chicks...the statement caught me by surprise.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Shut it you Mug - The Take. Tom Hardy, to be fair he could say anything and I would be wet - FI xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Sully. . Remember when i promised to kill you last ? . . . Yes yes you did yout promised ! . . . I lied !

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By *rs Robinson no 1Woman over a year ago

Glasgow

Mrs Robinson, you're trying to seduce me...aren't you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Choose life . . Choose a car. . Choose a family. . Choose a fucking big television

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It rubs the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hosepipe again

Buffalo bill

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

How you doin?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Alright Dave?

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By *ercedes_SLKMan over a year ago

nottingham

Where have you been soldier?

TRAINING SIR.......

What sort of training?

AAAAARMY TRAINING SIR.........

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

"Here's to swimmin with bow legged women "

We're gonna need a bugger boat

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

"Here's to swimmin with bow legged women

We're gonna need a bugger boat "

Bigger

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By *eneRoissyMan over a year ago

Nailsworth

Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

"Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?"

They call it a "Royale with cheese"

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By *eneRoissyMan over a year ago

Nailsworth

"Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?

They call it a "Royale with cheese""

'cos they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder was.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?

They call it a "Royale with cheese"

'cos they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder was."
what do the call a whopper . . I don't know i didn't go into burger king

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

DOES . . HE . . LOOK . . LIKE . . A . . BITCH. . .no . . Well why did you try to fuck him like one. . I . . I didn't . YES YOU DID BRETT.. YES YOU DID ! And Marcellas doesn't liked to be fucked by anyone . . Except Mrs Wallace !

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By *eneRoissyMan over a year ago

Nailsworth

Why do I have to be Mr Pink? and Mr Brown sounds a little too close to Mr Shit

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

You are on thin fucking ice, my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks! Now, fuck off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tommy the tit is praying and if he isn't he fucking should be

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Anti wrinkle cream there may be but anti fat bastard cream there is non

I'm not a chicken drum stick Gerald

I don't see why the chuf not Gerald cause

Your fat he's thin and your both fucking ugly

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

Now, I know he looks like a fat fucker … well, he is a fat fucker … but he's dirty and he's dangerous.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

See that Brodie ? Sick vandalism. . Now I want those paint happy bastards caught , and hung up by their buster browns !

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By *rs Robinson no 1Woman over a year ago

Glasgow

" That was the most fun I've had without laughing"

Woody Allen in Annie Hall

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Private pile you are a disgusting fat body!

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By *irimusMan over a year ago

Burnley

[Removed by poster at 12/10/14 14:00:31]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just passed another Kojak with a Kodak. This place is crawling with bears.

Where are you, you sumbitch?

Snowman, you got your ears on?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

That fella's dug in like an alabama tick

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

A cunning plan you say ? Bravo ! Sir i wouldn't get your hopes up too high . Baldrick's last cunning plan was to solve his mother's low ceiling problem by cutting off her head !

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I am familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this particular problem, until it swims up and bites you on the ass !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Alons-Y

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

Kryten! Unpack Rachel and get out the puncture repair kit. I'm alive!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Please help me, he thinks i'm his wife ! Who is he ? I don't know he just came to my house. But you speak to him, that language ! It's gibberish, I make it up . He's coming back now , please do as he says , he can . . Do things .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Daddy's comin. . And he's fuckin pissed !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Here's a funny quote from the movie Step Brothers.

Dale: Brennan, I saw you die.

Brennan: I was faking. I used my ninja focus to slow my heart rate down.

Dale: What are you doing?

Brennan: I'm burying you.

Dale: I'M ALIVE BRENNAN, I'M ALIVE!

Brennan: YOU'RE WAKING THE NEIGHBOURS. SHUT UP!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hans!! Boobie!! I'm your White Knight!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Play it nice and cool Trig. Know what I mean

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hey buddie. . You got a dead cat in there or what ? . . Fuck you asshole

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I don't like white people. . I hate rednecks. . You people are rednecks. . That means i'm enjoying this shit

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hey hey people. . Lets get saturday off with a giggle. . Post up quotes from films or tv that make you smile. I'll start the ball rolling . "Why do you have to be such a wanker ?" "Coz I get off on it" (kelly le brock to bill paxman in Wierd Science) "

"That's enough about me, let's talk about you, what do ya think of me?"

Beaches.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Ha. . I've actually used that in jest ! Look at you blueskies ! Long time no speak

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By *utty_JiggleCouple over a year ago

Black Country

I want to live until I die... No more, no less. Eddie izzard.

Eddie: Still, at least we got the duck.

Richie: The duck?

Eddie: Yeah. It's made out of plastic!

Richie: Eddie, what in the name of Greek buggery, is the use of a plastic duck?

Eddie: It floats in the bath.

[Wobbles with the duck]

Eddie: Hello?

Richie: [Deep sigh] But why?

Eddie: It's hollow.

Richie: [Starting to loose patience] Why the duck?

Eddie: It came free with the telly.

Richie: [Almost going mad] Eddie, everything came free with the telly, we were looting! Why not get a free telly with the telly?

Eddie: Well, it'd sink in the bath!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ha. . I've actually used that in jest ! Look at you blueskies ! Long time no speak "

hey alphamale...you good?

I can't message you though...sob.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh that Mel BROOKS film...Young Frankenstein

Whose brain did I put in?

http://youtu.be/yH97lImrr0Q

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile winning's winning and I live my life a quarter mile at the time both from the same film

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Here's a funny quote from the movie Step Brothers.

Dale: Brennan, I saw you die.

Brennan: I was faking. I used my ninja focus to slow my heart rate down.

Dale: What are you doing?

Brennan: I'm burying you.

Dale: I'M ALIVE BRENNAN, I'M ALIVE!

Brennan: YOU'RE WAKING THE NEIGHBOURS. SHUT UP!!!!!"

Brennans got a mangina!

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