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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Ive accepted its going to be a quiet weekend, the question I have for Fabbers (not Stalkers), is do you have any really good dirty jokes to post on this thread?
I could do with a good screw, but a chuckle with do lol lol |
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A farmer went to a local pub and ordered a glass of champagne.
The woman sitting next to him said, 'How about that? I just ordered
champagne, too!'
'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me. I
am celebrating.'
This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,' said the woman.'
'What a coincidence!' said the farmer. As they clinked glasses he
added: 'What are you celebrating?'
'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my
gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!'
'What a coincidence!' said the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and all last
year my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying eggs
again.'
'That's great!' said the woman, 'How did your chickens become fertile?'
'I used a different cock,' he replied.
The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said *'what a coincidence'! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A man gives his wife a bunch of flowers. Its not her birthday or a special occasion.
Being the suspicious type, she asks him
"Flowers, I suppose im going to have to open my legs for them?"
Him..."why, dont you have a vase big enough? "  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A couple lying in bed after sex. The wife says to hubby " you make love to me like u do decorating" he replies "slow and professional" she replies " no I have to finish the job myself" lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of
execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he
was feeling worn out and depressed.
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about,
'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is
cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured
himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub,
pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the
stairs.
While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that
her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after
all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.
Finally realizing what a terrible day
he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.
As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband,
bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.
'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.
He whirled around and screamed, 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER
STOP?!e whirled around and screamed, 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER
STOP?! |
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