Mine usually go something like this:
My Dearest Madam,
By a stringent and exacting selection process you have been chosen to recieve a prestigous 'Bronze Pass' from the great Invictus himself.
This pass allows you to apply with a suitable fawning and affectionate reply within 4 standard Earth hours, thereafter your reply will be vetted for it's suitability and sincerity. If you are deemed to be of possible further interest a 'Silver Pass', valid for 4 Earth standard days will be forwarded with exact instructions on how you are to proceeed.
I wish you every luck in attracting the attention of the great Invictus himself. My commiserations go to those tattered souls who are left broken hearted by his rejection.
May the best lady win.
Secundus, Personal Secretary to Invictus. |
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