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Epitaph - what would yours be?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I was just watching Linda Bellingham talking about her battle with terminal cancer. What an inspiration. Got me thinking about epitaphs.

One that always made me smile is :-

Here lies the body of our Anna

Done to death by a banana

It wasn't the fruit that laid her low

But the skin of the thing that made her go.

If you chose your own what would it be?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Here lies Tom.

He was an alright bloke, just couldn't make up his mind.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Here lies Tina, lean back and relax on one of the bumps

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mourn now the passing of Jodie

Here she lies

In death as she most often was in life

On her back and stiff

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Here lies Mark

Honda Civic For Sale

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Hang on a minute I haven't finished yet.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He really was ill

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

What an arse!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

unmarked...lost in action

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By *eerobCouple over a year ago

solihull

What bus??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Now i'm dead i wont be forgotten

just dig me up and fuck me rotten

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By *itboyslim2Man over a year ago

stevenage

He sure is stiff now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In loving memory of S-D F obe

Friend Confidant and all round Good Egg

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Here lies Tina, lean back and relax on one of the bumps

I think you'd have a specially made coffin Tina with extra boobie room.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Here lies Tom.

He was an alright bloke, just couldn't make up his mind."

Sounds like mine would be, alright lady instead (trying to think of female equivalent of bloke)! . Maybe I'd have - still pondering !

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"He sure is stiff now "

Do you reckon it does ?

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

Here lies Sandy

She was alright for a fat bird

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just wanted a nap!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Everything is paid for

So feel free to sell the houses the cars the watches

BUT THE LIFE INSURANCE POLICY IS HIDDEN

The first clue

e is

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

UNLOS

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"UNLOS"

That made me laugh.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"UNLOS"

confused again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And another thing........

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"UNLOS

confused again "

User No Longer on Site - its the message you get when someone deletes their profile from Fab

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mine would be blank.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What an arse!"

Are you sticking that photo of your arse on the gravestone?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im bloody pleased i deleted his medical records after telling him it was only a cold.........His Doctor

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By *layfull pairingCouple over a year ago

Bristol

Told u man flu was serious !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bugger, should have followed the instructions.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Told u man flu was serious !"

I think they should invent a stronger vaccine for it !

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By *he Original TTMan over a year ago

Brackley, Northants

"See, I said I was ill..."

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By *ecretly seductiveWoman over a year ago

Palookaville

Told you I was sick!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

""See, I said I was ill..."

Can't be on your birthday! I'll send Nurse Nu Nu round

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By *he Original TTMan over a year ago

Brackley, Northants

""See, I said I was ill..."

Can't be on your birthday! I'll send Nurse Nu Nu round

Nurse Nu Nu sounds intriguing....!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't worry, you'll be dead soon...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don't worry, you'll be dead soon..."

That'll cheer the mourners up...,,,

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By *andy_tomMan over a year ago

wolverhampton

Here lies the wife with knickers on she never took them off thats why shes gone ..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't worry, you'll be dead soon...

That'll cheer the mourners up...,,,

It's only being honest.

I wanna be cremated anyways

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It wasn't my fault

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By *Ryan-Man over a year ago

In Your Bush

Well it seemed like a good idea at the time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A friend of mines father has got "and there I was gone!" On his headstone I think I'll go for his mind left long before his body on mine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I want something like spike milligan's 'told you I was ill'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/10/14 16:03:38]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Live long and prosper - Die and never pay taxes again!

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By *bony in IvoryCouple over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

Just after this cuppa

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Gone.................

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Knock! Knock!

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By *bony in IvoryCouple over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

Or ... ' if you can read this ya standing on me Tits .. Gerroffff!'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Does me Bum look big in this

Gimped

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fuck off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Please feel free to leave flowers and water the ground with Gin and tonic!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh wait, thought this was the Tourette's Tuesday thread :P x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just thought of a good one. Movie quote.

"And then like that *poof* he's gone"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Please feel free to leave flowers and water the ground with Gin and tonic!"

Hendricks or Gordon's?

Thinking more about it, I'd have :- That was one hell of a ride!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mine would be simple and to the point.

What a sarcastic bastard he was.

Jools would definitely be.

She was vague.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Now i'm dead i wont be forgotten

just dig me up and fuck me rotten"

Eeeeeeeewwwwww! Nasty.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

F.U.B.A.R

Then I'd have a motion detector hidden so anytime someone walked past a loud scary scream would scare the shit out of them

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By *he_original_poloWoman over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

See You Next Tuesday!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'll be back

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tea please, milk no sugar.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I said I was ill.

Good old spike.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS over a year ago

Horsham

"It wasn't my fault

From what I have read on here, it never is your fault. You just seem to be Linked some how.

I would go with something like.

Here lies my husband,

Finally in peace.

And at last so do I

The wife.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS over a year ago

Horsham

"It wasn't my fault

From what I have read on here, it never is your fault. You just seem to be Linked some how.

I would go with something like.

Here lies my husband,

Finally in peace.

And at last so do I

The wife.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He was there for the gangbang.

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By *Ryan-Man over a year ago

In Your Bush

"He was there for the gangbang."

Or..... It's erect jim, but not as we know it

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

here lies ruby no difference to when she was alive lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"...FUCK THATS A BIG LORRY!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"He was there for the gangbang.

Or..... It's erect jim, but not as we know it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He was good to your mum.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Stories about my death have been greatly exaggerated

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It wasn't my fault

From what I have read on here, it never is your fault. You just seem to be Linked some how.

I would go with something like.

Here lies my husband,

Finally in peace.

And at last so do I

The wife."

perhaps mine should say ... she never wiggled out of this one!!!

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By *heOwlMan over a year ago

Altrincham

Oops

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would Like 'Thank Fuck he's gone'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Finally some fucking sleep

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

These worms aren't much company

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Here lies Stuart

At sex, he was great

He wanted some more

But now he's too late!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I told you i could smell gas

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By *ushandkittyCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

"I want something like spike milligan's 'told you I was ill'

"
Well it's close the cathedral where he's buried wouldn't let him have that, so it's written in gaelic instead.

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