FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Women with confidence issues?
Women with confidence issues?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
everybody is an individual.. We all tell ourselves we have imperfections and parts of us we aren't happy with but true beauty comes with personality and most of all confidence! There are things about me I don't like but when it comes to meeting others I put that thought to the back of my mind and show the world I'm comfortable within myself resulting in confidence :D I have aspurgess and used to find it difficult to socialise on any level but through many years of shit I came out of the other side shining! THAT is the kind of thing I want to see in everybody :')) you women are beautiful, fascinating creatures and deserve to be shown the appreciation you ALL deserve  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's great to just allow others to relax and feel free to be themselves - this usually means they'll be confident too.
Well done with managing your Aspergers, which can make social engagement tough.
People move at their own pace so I'd never push anyone in ways they're not comfortable. Confidence is a bit elusive for some, the more it's searched for, the harder it can seem to master it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Aww that's just beautiful..nice to have genuine couples who are real about issues..
I also read your profile & it's down to earth & shows your honesty & realism too!..hope your having just as much fun on here as we are!..k&D xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"More importantly than anything or anyone else, I have confidence in me.
I'm fucking ace. "
LOVE IT!!  thank you very much, it would seem you know what I've been through knowing the traits of my disorder.. You are not wrong. Confidence can be elusive and yes, the more it is searched for the easier it becomes to find through many difficult times it took me a long time to search for my confidence! I found the one thing I was good at began to give me more and more confidence.. I found it through the art of dance. I began to teach kids body popping and had people approach me in town to see me dance! Wasn't something I did to show off, it just gave me a sense of being and started to see a change in myself because of it! It would appear DB9queen you are fucking awesome and hope nobody ever makes you feel otherwise :'))) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've literally just finished messaging someone who i've been friends with on here for a year now.
She's nice but every now and then she'll fall into this pit of self loathing and tell me that I should just go chat to someone prettier and happier.
I told her that i don't mind chatting to people when they've had a bad day but if someone keeps basically inferring that they're not 'good enough' to chat to, and that they're not worth much then why would I keep wanting to chat to that person.
This keeps happening because when she has someone stand her up or she can't find someone, she takes it REALLY badly. And instead of getting annoyed and moving on like most people on here do, she gets really depressed and and hates herself for it.
Tonight i'd just had enough and wrote a long message that basically stated that I don't think she should be on here if she keeps getting affected like this. It's going to do more harm than good and i'm worried they'll come a time when something will happen on here that will make her depressed and she won't be able to dig herself out of it.
She doesn't see her friends at all, her time is spent between her job as a nurse and her son, and even though I know you come on here for sex, she's taking it way too hard when she can't meet and i'm worried this has become her life basically. So I told her she should stop using this site and dating sites because the same happens on there, and find a way to fix this self loathing in real life. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Aww that's just beautiful..nice to have genuine couples who are real about issues..
I also read your profile & it's down to earth & shows your honesty & realism too!..hope your having just as much fun on here as we are!..k&D xx"
thank you very much :')) you too seem to be very genuine and realists! Love to come across people much like yourselves we are having fun on here especially when we communicate with other like minded people  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've literally just finished messaging someone who i've been friends with on here for a year now.
She's nice but every now and then she'll fall into this pit of self loathing and tell me that I should just go chat to someone prettier and happier.
I told her that i don't mind chatting to people when they've had a bad day but if someone keeps basically inferring that they're not 'good enough' to chat to, and that they're not worth much then why would I keep wanting to chat to that person.
This keeps happening because when she has someone stand her up or she can't find someone, she takes it REALLY badly. And instead of getting annoyed and moving on like most people on here do, she gets really depressed and and hates herself for it.
Tonight i'd just had enough and wrote a long message that basically stated that I don't think she should be on here if she keeps getting affected like this. It's going to do more harm than good and i'm worried they'll come a time when something will happen on here that will make her depressed and she won't be able to dig herself out of it.
She doesn't see her friends at all, her time is spent between her job as a nurse and her son, and even though I know you come on here for sex, she's taking it way too hard when she can't meet and i'm worried this has become her life basically. So I told her she should stop using this site and dating sites because the same happens on there, and find a way to fix this self loathing in real life."
you have done something most wouldn't! A lot of people whether we like or not are going to be harsh and belittle people.. It gives them a sense of power! Which then leads them to a false sense of confidence. In all fairness I have to agree and say that she shouldn't be using this site. Okay, she has a job and a son, something to focus on and devote her time to and I can appreciate why she may have joined this site but at the end of the day, we have no control of the people who choose to use this site and comment whatever they choose to say. Confidence allows people to brush off the hateful comments and push on I do wish your friend all the best and hope that one day, she can do the same as what I did and find self confidence within herself and the people she can trust! You are a top man for showing your friend the care and consideration you have done |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've literally just finished messaging someone who i've been friends with on here for a year now.
She's nice but every now and then she'll fall into this pit of self loathing and tell me that I should just go chat to someone prettier and happier.
I told her that i don't mind chatting to people when they've had a bad day but if someone keeps basically inferring that they're not 'good enough' to chat to, and that they're not worth much then why would I keep wanting to chat to that person.
This keeps happening because when she has someone stand her up or she can't find someone, she takes it REALLY badly. And instead of getting annoyed and moving on like most people on here do, she gets really depressed and and hates herself for it.
Tonight i'd just had enough and wrote a long message that basically stated that I don't think she should be on here if she keeps getting affected like this. It's going to do more harm than good and i'm worried they'll come a time when something will happen on here that will make her depressed and she won't be able to dig herself out of it.
She doesn't see her friends at all, her time is spent between her job as a nurse and her son, and even though I know you come on here for sex, she's taking it way too hard when she can't meet and i'm worried this has become her life basically. So I told her she should stop using this site and dating sites because the same happens on there, and find a way to fix this self loathing in real life. you have done something most wouldn't! A lot of people whether we like or not are going to be harsh and belittle people.. It gives them a sense of power! Which then leads them to a false sense of confidence. In all fairness I have to agree and say that she shouldn't be using this site. Okay, she has a job and a son, something to focus on and devote her time to and I can appreciate why she may have joined this site but at the end of the day, we have no control of the people who choose to use this site and comment whatever they choose to say. Confidence allows people to brush off the hateful comments and push on I do wish your friend all the best and hope that one day, she can do the same as what I did and find self confidence within herself and the people she can trust! You are a top man for showing your friend the care and consideration you have done "
Thank you, that's really sweet of you to say. I was worried that I was being too mean, I wasn't trying to. I just know that she's a nice person, but I think she's been quite hurt by a lot of things that have happened to her in the past like being divorced and losing a daughter a few years ago, I think she really has low self-esteem and it's not fair because she's really sweet and a nice person.
I really hope she can find some way to help herself, and feel better. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
I'm not always good or nice but overall I'm not a bad person. I like me. I'm fun, smart and caring.
What more is there? In my 30s I would have thought more but with more experience and maturity o know there isn't. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've literally just finished messaging someone who i've been friends with on here for a year now.
She's nice but every now and then she'll fall into this pit of self loathing and tell me that I should just go chat to someone prettier and happier.
I told her that i don't mind chatting to people when they've had a bad day but if someone keeps basically inferring that they're not 'good enough' to chat to, and that they're not worth much then why would I keep wanting to chat to that person.
This keeps happening because when she has someone stand her up or she can't find someone, she takes it REALLY badly. And instead of getting annoyed and moving on like most people on here do, she gets really depressed and and hates herself for it.
Tonight i'd just had enough and wrote a long message that basically stated that I don't think she should be on here if she keeps getting affected like this. It's going to do more harm than good and i'm worried they'll come a time when something will happen on here that will make her depressed and she won't be able to dig herself out of it.
She doesn't see her friends at all, her time is spent between her job as a nurse and her son, and even though I know you come on here for sex, she's taking it way too hard when she can't meet and i'm worried this has become her life basically. So I told her she should stop using this site and dating sites because the same happens on there, and find a way to fix this self loathing in real life. you have done something most wouldn't! A lot of people whether we like or not are going to be harsh and belittle people.. It gives them a sense of power! Which then leads them to a false sense of confidence. In all fairness I have to agree and say that she shouldn't be using this site. Okay, she has a job and a son, something to focus on and devote her time to and I can appreciate why she may have joined this site but at the end of the day, we have no control of the people who choose to use this site and comment whatever they choose to say. Confidence allows people to brush off the hateful comments and push on I do wish your friend all the best and hope that one day, she can do the same as what I did and find self confidence within herself and the people she can trust! You are a top man for showing your friend the care and consideration you have done
Thank you, that's really sweet of you to say. I was worried that I was being too mean, I wasn't trying to. I just know that she's a nice person, but I think she's been quite hurt by a lot of things that have happened to her in the past like being divorced and losing a daughter a few years ago, I think she really has low self-esteem and it's not fair because she's really sweet and a nice person.
I really hope she can find some way to help herself, and feel better."
I can relate to what she has been through, I too have been through some pretty rough times.. Times that at one point made me feel suicidle! I don't wish that upon anyone and losing someone so close to you can break you.. Your friend seems like a lovely human being and just needs that motivation to pick herself up and realise life isn't ALL bad.. You were doing the right thing and don't think you were being mean.. What you were being is honest! A trait some can't find in themselves. She is a very lucky person to have someone who cares so much for her |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm not always good or nice but overall I'm not a bad person. I like me. I'm fun, smart and caring.
What more is there? In my 30s I would have thought more but with more experience and maturity o know there isn't. "
everyone at some point or another isn't nice but its how those times make us feel afterwards.. Do we show remorse after a bad encounter or after saying something to another we wouldn't like have said to ourselves? Only those with a conscious mind realise the difference between hurtfulness and kindness! You see the qualities in yourself and I'm sure others find qualities in you that you may not have even noticed |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think most people struggle with confidence from time to time, I definitely do. Talked myself out of a potential meet this week because I saw he had a verification from a women I consider to be infinitely more attractive than me, I just thought I'd end up being a huge disappointment after that and didn't want to go there any more. Not the first time something like that has happened! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My mum tells me I need more confidence. But when I say 'I have loads of confidence. I'm amazing.' she raises her eyebrows at me!! "
well, I can see in your name 'shybutsure-sam' the shy part is a bit of a giveaway.. In what way do you have to be shy? If your mum raises her eyebrows when you say you have confidence, maybe she see's something in you that you don't see yourself? Not saying that's the case but its a possibility. Then again, some peoples adaptation of others is misguided and not precise.. As long as you have confidence in yourself, others will follow and find confidence in you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think most people struggle with confidence from time to time, I definitely do. Talked myself out of a potential meet this week because I saw he had a verification from a women I consider to be infinitely more attractive than me, I just thought I'd end up being a huge disappointment after that and didn't want to go there any more. Not the first time something like that has happened! "
Anna, you're not wrong! EVERONE has confidence issues from time to time but its those that dig themselves or let others dig them into a bottomless pit of self-loathing that suffer.. In your case, seeing that verification from a "prettier" woman, that is a time you have had a lack of confidence. YOU may have thought this girl was prettier than you but maybe this guy could have seen something in you that would make you feel like the most beautiful girl in the world! The mind is a powerful thing and its how we think about someone that makes them attractive.. Some do that by thinking about looks (which is shallow in most cases) but others see beauty through connection, confidence and common ground personally, I think you are a very pretty lass and the fact that you can find fault in yourself shows that you are NOT one of these shallow people x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Thank you. Thing is once you get something in your head, no amount of compliments or reassurance from other people will shift it, it can only come from yourself. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have loads of self confidence issues but I'm learning to just be me and for those who don't like it that's their choice.
I believe everyone should feel happy being who they are because we are all beautiful in one way or another x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
OP, I am glad you have found your voice and confidence. You come across as mature and grounded. Your words are strong.
Right now I feel very confident in my mind, body and abilities. So much so that a close friend commented that I am standing taller.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Confused as to what OP means :P but you have all made some great points and it seems as though you can all see that confidence is found within if our words of wisdom can help individuals and couples then that makes me happy! My girlfriend had confidence issues until she met me 4 and a half years ago! I know, its a long time to be together at such a young age but through all the time we have been together, we have both had our ups and downs and I helped amy to realise she is more beautiful than she first thought! I tell her everyday how beautiful she is and not just through looks as beauty is more than skin deep :D women are beautiful! All shapes and sizes because its not just the appearance that varies, peoples personality varies too  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Confused as to what OP means :P but you have all made some great points and it seems as though you can all see that confidence is found within if our words of wisdom can help individuals and couples then that makes me happy! My girlfriend had confidence issues until she met me 4 and a half years ago! I know, its a long time to be together at such a young age but through all the time we have been together, we have both had our ups and downs and I helped amy to realise she is more beautiful than she first thought! I tell her everyday how beautiful she is and not just through looks as beauty is more than skin deep :D women are beautiful! All shapes and sizes because its not just the appearance that varies, peoples personality varies too "
OP means you, opening post/poster.
People are beautiful, for the most part. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Confused as to what OP means :P but you have all made some great points and it seems as though you can all see that confidence is found within if our words of wisdom can help individuals and couples then that makes me happy! My girlfriend had confidence issues until she met me 4 and a half years ago! I know, its a long time to be together at such a young age but through all the time we have been together, we have both had our ups and downs and I helped amy to realise she is more beautiful than she first thought! I tell her everyday how beautiful she is and not just through looks as beauty is more than skin deep :D women are beautiful! All shapes and sizes because its not just the appearance that varies, peoples personality varies too
OP means you, opening post/poster.
People are beautiful, for the most part. "
ahhhhh lol, thanks for that.. Felt like a bit of twit asking that :P yes, people are beautiful for the most part and its those people that deserve to be told and appreciated for their beauty x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thank you. Thing is once you get something in your head, no amount of compliments or reassurance from other people will shift it, it can only come from yourself. "
No need to thank me you are a beautiful woman both outside and in! Shame I'm out of your age range and can't message you  always like to have friends on here can speak to about things, especially someone as down to earth and as intelligent as yourself x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
