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The Bible
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"..just watching it on Sky Classic. 1966 version with Richard Harris, Ava Gardner, Peter O'Toole and I bet Richard Burton playing the voice of God somewhere in there. What a croc of shit. "Richard Burton had a sexy voice | |||
"..just watching it on Sky Classic. 1966 version with Richard Harris, Ava Gardner, Peter O'Toole and I bet Richard Burton playing the voice of God somewhere in there. What a croc of shit. Richard Burton had a sexy voice "Either that or Liz Taylor loved wedding cake. I can imagine it... Vicar: Do you, Richard Burton, take ... her... again..? Richard: "well, that is the question, is it not, shall I? Oh but if I knew for certain!" Vicar: Look ya fuckin thespain tit, do ya want the bint or not?  | |||
"..just watching it on Sky Classic. 1966 version with Richard Harris, Ava Gardner, Peter O'Toole and I bet Richard Burton playing the voice of God somewhere in there. What a croc of shit. Richard Burton had a sexy voice
Either that or Liz Taylor loved wedding cake.
I can imagine it...
Vicar: Do you, Richard Burton, take ... her... again..?
Richard: "well, that is the question, is it not, shall I? Oh but if I knew for certain!"
Vicar: Look ya fuckin thespain tit, do ya want the bint or not? "why are you watching it if ya think its shit? Siren hid your remote? | |||
"..just watching it on Sky Classic. 1966 version with Richard Harris, Ava Gardner, Peter O'Toole and I bet Richard Burton playing the voice of God somewhere in there. What a croc of shit. Richard Burton had a sexy voice
Either that or Liz Taylor loved wedding cake.
I can imagine it...
Vicar: Do you, Richard Burton, take ... her... again..?
Richard: "well, that is the question, is it not, shall I? Oh but if I knew for certain!"
Vicar: Look ya fuckin thespain tit, do ya want the bint or not? why are you watching it if ya think its shit? Siren hid your remote? "Nah, she's gone to bed. I did send her a text message to tell her to come back down and change the channel but I think she's got her ear plugs in. Bugger. Will have to watch the fookin film then. ooo.. just glanced up, Eve had nice tits! | |||
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"And in six days god created the earth and all that is in it And on the seventh day he went ta Chams xx "Correction: On the 7th day he rested, had a few beers, woke up monday morning with a hangover and created my ex-wife. Bastard. | |||
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"oooo here she goes... Adam, wanna bite this apple? Go on, it's nice. Fookin temptress. Women, such sluts. "Yeh but you love em  | |||
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"oooo here she goes... Adam, wanna bite this apple? Go on, it's nice. Fookin temptress. Women, such sluts.
Yeh but you love em "'course!  regularly!! | |||
"Ah! Nudity. Apparently Adam didn't know he was nekid till Eve made him take a chunk of apple. So much crap from one little nibble eh? "Did it have a maggot  | |||
"Ah! Nudity. Apparently Adam didn't know he was nekid till Eve made him take a chunk of apple. So much crap from one little nibble eh?
Did it have a maggot "Eventually. | |||
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"See now I'm confuddled. Adam and Eve had two sons only. correct? Cain killed Abel, leaving one son. No voluptuous dolly bird for him to marry, so no kids for him. Eve had no more. So... Where the fuck did we all come from then? "That was one of the questions that bugged me when i was applying to join the ministry and that along with others that i was given dodgy answers too was the very reason i dint lol xx | |||
"See now I'm confuddled. Adam and Eve had two sons only. correct? Cain killed Abel, leaving one son. No voluptuous dolly bird for him to marry, so no kids for him. Eve had no more. So... Where the fuck did we all come from then?
That was one of the questions that bugged me when i was applying to join the ministry and that along with others that i was given dodgy answers too was the very reason i dint lol xx "You what? Father Soapy? Holy fuck!! | |||
"See now I'm confuddled. Adam and Eve had two sons only. correct? Cain killed Abel, leaving one son. No voluptuous dolly bird for him to marry, so no kids for him. Eve had no more. So... Where the fuck did we all come from then?
That was one of the questions that bugged me when i was applying to join the ministry and that along with others that i was given dodgy answers too was the very reason i dint lol xx "so your conversant with the father, the son and the holy ghost then? | |||
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"Ah, now I get it. Cain got booted out of Eden for killing his Bro and settled down in a nice little town called Nog. Met a local lass and had some sprogs with her, one of which was Jacob. You know. JACOB.. oh ffs, everyone knows Jacob, old bloke, long beard, craggy face, made predictions. Aaaaaanyway... where was I? " And ya wonder why dawin came up with apes lol xx | |||
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"Ah, now I get it. Cain got booted out of Eden for killing his Bro and settled down in a nice little town called Nog. Met a local lass and had some sprogs with her, one of which was Jacob. You know. JACOB.. oh ffs, everyone knows Jacob, old bloke, long beard, craggy face, made predictions. Aaaaaanyway... where was I? " Jacob? the one that invented cream crackers | |||
"Ah, now I get it. Cain got booted out of Eden for killing his Bro and settled down in a nice little town called Nog. Met a local lass and had some sprogs with her, one of which was Jacob. You know. JACOB.. oh ffs, everyone knows Jacob, old bloke, long beard, craggy face, made predictions. Aaaaaanyway... where was I? And ya wonder why dawin came up with apes lol xx "I'd say it was inconsistent but that wouldn't come anywhere near it. It's a book of sheer fantasy if you ask me. If I'd written drivel like this after a few bevvies they'd lock me up as a nutter. | |||
"Ah, now I get it. Cain got booted out of Eden for killing his Bro and settled down in a nice little town called Nog. Met a local lass and had some sprogs with her, one of which was Jacob. You know. JACOB.. oh ffs, everyone knows Jacob, old bloke, long beard, craggy face, made predictions. Aaaaaanyway... where was I? Jacob? the one that invented cream crackers "THAT'S HIM! The very same! Named 'em after his dad I believe. | |||
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"Try the book, it's worse." try the koran!,it's a horror!. | |||
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"You pissed? "can you get on to the forums sober. | |||
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"You pissed? "No im just regretting not answering the calling lol xx | |||
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"It still don't explain where all these fookin women came from though does it? I mean, they all had wives, but Eve had three boys, not two, no girls... they're making it up as they go along!!! "who the fuck is eve,she sounds like a bit of a goer.is she on the site. | |||
"Called me once too. Asked me to go help out down the fete, told em to piss off as I was playing footie that day. They never asked again. "lol just think if i had done it i would be sittin here writing Sundays sermon and not this lol xx | |||
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"The very foundations of our society and worldwide multi billion pound industry i don't know how you dare suggest that maybe a little artistic license has crept bible. shame on you. "Well yeak ok but a little continuity wouldn't go amiss y'know, like, interject it with sommat like ... btw, God had a few girls somewhere in this, which I know would have made him look like a paedo but he could have found a way like, maybe two families in the G.o.E. (thats the garden, not the swinging club in Leic that had the Stan Collymore Dogging Suite). That coulda worked. | |||
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"Its like "and while Adam slept god took a rib from his body and formed from it a companion woman" Well any bloke in their right mind after a few beers would see a spare rib and eat it Oh no not him he had ta go spoil things xx "Yeah but why give the fukin chinese the recipe huh? twat. | |||
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