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Help!! I'm in a dilemma!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi guys, just need your help..
My best mate is getting married to his fiancé of 6 years, but I no he has been seeing another woman for 3 of those.
I'm best man and get on with all his and her family.
He has left me in a very awkward situation and I really don't fancy being best man.
The wedding is this weekend.
Help!!! |
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By *njamesMan
over a year ago
Swindon |
I personally wouldn't get involved with that side of things, yes you are the best man, but that doesn't mean you should get involved.
Just imagine how it will be if you do say something or tell of his little secret, as you are pretty much knackered either way, you tell then you fall out with him, you don't say anything and she finds out you knew.....
If he is still at it, then she will find out eventually. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
In my view there was a time and a place and you didn't take action.
Really the appropriate time was when he asked you to be his best man...
Now I think it will cause a lot of trouble... Only you know what you are truly feeling though and all the details you need to consider. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi guys, just need your help..
My best mate is getting married to his fiancé of 6 years, but I no he has been seeing another woman for 3 of those.
I'm best man and get on with all his and her family.
He has left me in a very awkward situation and I really don't fancy being best man.
The wedding is this weekend.
Help!!!"
strange you have another thread running stating your leaving and that was 3 hours ago and your still here. If your leaving you wont be able to take note of the advice here will you or are you staying after all and looking after your newborn child not as important as it was 3 hours ago.
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"I suggest dropping the bomb during the best man's speech. You will be a Youtube sensation overnight.
Or don't get involved.
One of those."
I often forget just how wise and insightful my other manifestation is.
You/me rock dude!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would turn it down SERIOUSLY.
ANY relationship. ANY WHATSOEVER that isn't 100% honest will NOT last at all.
If not now, then later. Liars and cheaters always get found out.
Recommend saving her the pain now, rather than causing her a LOT more later when she finds out, being married with kids and locked into where she is with a cheating bastard who may have financial and legal control over the things she may end up caring most about in the world.
Even if all of it ends up a lie due to his antics.
Just trust me on this one, its the least painful of the two. .. Just make sure you have proof though... |
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It's really none of your business what he's doing in his private life. The truth will out in its own good time then it'll be down to him to deal with it.
How would you like it if someone outed you to the mother of your new baby?
Leave well alone is what I'd advise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Perhaps as best man you ought to be talking to your friend and asking him if marriage is what he really wants.
He might be feeling trapped and unable to call things off. If he's being swept along by the wedding plans but still into this other woman then he clearly isnt entering s marriage that's going to last.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I do honestly think he's been a bit steamrolled into wedding plans.. And a bit out of his depth, deep down I think he's scared of letting either one go an hurting either one..
To me he's into deep and I need to make a decision as to whether or not I wanna be best man in such circumstances. |
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To leave it to the last minute to decide is a really not nice thing to do...you have had 3 years to talk to him with how you feel and now leave it to the last minute for your moral compass to kick in...it's his life and he wants to get married id be the bigger person and support the person and not play tit for tat because it will bite you on the arse  |
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"I think I'm gonna tell him tonight whilst we at golf. I'm in a right awkward situation.. "
Ermmm golf equals golf clubs id probably tell him where the risk of injury to you is slightly less risky |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with most that you should have done something sooner but it's never too late until they're married.
Being jilted must be horrendous but surely it's worse finding out after you're married.
He might be desperate to talk about this. Be a real friend and best man and give him the chance to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tread carefully.... This happened to my niece... Her best friend told her that her soon to be husband had been sleeping around... The friendship ended and my niece married the guy, now has 3 children and I am sure he is still meeting others. I am pretty sure she knew all along just decided to ignore the warning signs.... Best thing you could have done is refuse to be best man and stay well out if it...... A judgment I think you have left well to late to make as questions will be asked from her ....  |
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