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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment, all of his own, he went
proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes,
wearing only a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.
The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, 'Let's go to my apartment,
I hear someone coming.'
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing
her robe to fall off completely.
Now nude, she purred at him, 'What would you say is my best feature?'
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, 'It's got to be your ears.'
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'My ears?!?!?'' Look at these breasts; they are
a full 38 inches and 100% natural. I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid.
I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin - not a blemish anywhere.
How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?'
Clearing his throat, he stammered...
'Outside, when you said you heard someone coming... That was me.'
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By *aravancoupleMan
over a year ago
A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love |
The Hunter
An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said 'Things are great and I've never felt better.' I now have a 20 yr-old bride who is pregnant with my child.
'So what do you think about that Doc?'
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.
'I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.'
One day he was setting off to go hunting.
In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane
instead of his gun.'
'As he neared a lake, he came across a very large beaver sitting at the water's edge.
He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.
Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle, and went 'bang, bang'..'
'Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead..
Now, what do you think of that ?' asked the doctor.
The 86-year-old said, 'Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.'
The doctor replied, 'My point exactly.' 
Vinny |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment, all of his own, he went
proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes,
wearing only a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.
The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, 'Let's go to my apartment,
I hear someone coming.'
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing
her robe to fall off completely.
Now nude, she purred at him, 'What would you say is my best feature?'
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, 'It's got to be your ears.'
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'My ears?!?!?'' Look at these breasts; they are
a full 38 inches and 100% natural. I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid.
I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin - not a blemish anywhere.
How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?'
Clearing his throat, he stammered...
'Outside, when you said you heard someone coming... That was me.'
"
what was the joke for yesterday?  |
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On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident.
The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting, they began to wonder: could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in heaven.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out and he left."
The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months.
While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons.
If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all? '
What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?' Another month passed.
St. Peter finally returned looking somewhat bedraggled. 'Yes,' he informed the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple. 'But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out?
Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.
'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!!!' St. Peter shouted. 'It took me 3 months to find a priest up here!
Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer!
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