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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well I've been seeing someone on and off for a while. She knew all about my swinging. I'd been totally honest about all aspects of my life as I believe that's very important. We've spent evenings together, been on dates to silly places and done lots and lots of laughing.
Anyway, a few weeks ago I realised that I liked the lady in question rather more than I had realised. I found myself checking my phone loads and getting butterflies when we were going to meet up. I haven't felt like this about anyone for many many years.
I decided that the time was right to give up swinging and see if this lady would like to commit to something more serious.
This is where it all went wrong. I told her exactly how I felt. She reacted in the way I'd hoped. She flung her arms round me she had a cry and we started to talk about getting a place together.
This is when I got hit with a curve ball I didn't expect. She is married!!!! She'd not told me about it because he works away and she could never find the right time. I must admit it hit me for 6. I've been brutally honest from day 1. Now I know I'm probably over reacting here but I told her that I did not want her to leave her husband because that's not something I want on my conscience.
I went away and had a think about things and I've called it all off. I am absolutely gutted. I will be perfectly honest this week I've cried many times. It's taken me many years to meet someone who is perfect. Now I have and it's all gone wrong.
Sorry for making u read this but I've needed to get it out of my system as my mates just laughed and got me pissed. Other than them I've not really got anyone I'd talk to.
Thanks for reading about another fucked up chapter in my rather rubbish love life. lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Big hugs that was a cruel thing for her to do. I know you don't want it on your conscience but she was already unhappy or she wouldn't of started an affair. She was looking for a way out. If she really is perfect maybe she's worth taking the risk for? X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear that. Sometimes when things seem too good to be true, they are.
I hope you find a soul mate soon, in the meantime keep your chin up, the first few days after a split are always the hardest. Things will feel better in a couple of weeks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm really sorry to hear that sweetie.
Honest is always the best way to be, it's just a shame it's not been reciprocal.
Don't give up, the right, honest person will come along one day  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Big hugs that was a cruel thing for her to do. I know you don't want it on your conscience but she was already unhappy or she wouldn't of started an affair. She was looking for a way out. If she really is perfect maybe she's worth taking the risk for? X"
10 years ago my ex wife left me for someone else. I was devastated. I swore that I'd never have a hand in doing that to anyone else. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Big hugs that was a cruel thing for her to do. I know you don't want it on your conscience but she was already unhappy or she wouldn't of started an affair. She was looking for a way out. If she really is perfect maybe she's worth taking the risk for? X
10 years ago my ex wife left me for someone else. I was devastated. I swore that I'd never have a hand in doing that to anyone else. x"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you everyone. I really thought I was being stupid by beating myself up about it. I keep waiting for my phone to beep or ring. Strange as I thought I was passed all this at my age. just goes to show how wrong I was. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You've certainly done the right thing, you don't want to be the one responsible for the end of a relationship, you never know this might be the wake up call she needs and decides to leave her husband under her own steam, and then come looking for you,
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You've certainly done the right thing, you don't want to be the one responsible for the end of a relationship, you never know this might be the wake up call she needs and decides to leave her husband under her own steam, and then come looking for you,
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's bad fella...if it's any consolation there's
An Italian proverb:
Love is a journey, not the destination
Man hugs and awkward looks afterwards to you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You've certainly done the right thing, you don't want to be the one responsible for the end of a relationship, you never know this might be the wake up call she needs and decides to leave her husband under her own steam, and then come looking for you,
"
I wouldn't start a relationship with someone that had already shown how devious a liar they can be. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
if your relationship started with her evading the truth with you, it may not have been the relationship you were hoping for.
good luck for the future and I hope she takes stock and reflects on her falsehoods.
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"Thank you everyone. I really thought I was being stupid by beating myself up about it. I keep waiting for my phone to beep or ring. Strange as I thought I was passed all this at my age. just goes to show how wrong I was. x"
You're never too old to have you're heart hurt. Sorry she hurt you. Hugs xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Big hugs that was a cruel thing for her to do. I know you don't want it on your conscience but she was already unhappy or she wouldn't of started an affair. She was looking for a way out. If she really is perfect maybe she's worth taking the risk for? X"
I agree I was married when I met my current partner. Leaving him and moving in with my oh was the best thing I have ever done although it was the hardest thing at the time. Talk to her if she's perfect for you and you can move on it might turn out not to be the worst week but whatever you decide - good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For her not to tell you, AFTER you had be so open about swinging doesn't make any sense to me - but then I believe in honesty!
It may work, but will the trust be there? I think you have done the right thing - the hurt will pass.
Sara |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's awful. You have done the right thing though. Save your love for somebody who is equally as honest as you. She doesn't deserve you anyway.
You will feel better and just remember that you did the right thing!
Take care x |
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"Big hugs that was a cruel thing for her to do. I know you don't want it on your conscience but she was already unhappy or she wouldn't of started an affair. She was looking for a way out. If she really is perfect maybe she's worth taking the risk for? X
I agree I was married when I met my current partner. Leaving him and moving in with my oh was the best thing I have ever done although it was the hardest thing at the time. Talk to her if she's perfect for you and you can move on it might turn out not to be the worst week but whatever you decide - good luck x"
i agree with this, i feel that true love only happens once in a lifetime, and if you feel she is "the one" then, then you go for it, took a lot of soul searching and upheavel to move out of my marriage and to set up home with my now wife, after the dust had settled i realised that the love i thought i felt for my first wife was really only like loving a sister.
we have now been together for 15 years, and believe me, i cherish each day i am with her and wish we had done it sooner. do not let this opportunity pass you by if you are certain that you are right for each other.
and for those who say it was wrong of her not to come clean with you, maybe she was just scared of frightening you away ?? so kept quiet about it until she knew your real feelings for her ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your story and situation has made me very sad and I'm so sorry that you've been so hurt.
There is never an age limit on getting your heart broken although I'm sure like many others I do wish we came with an emotion on/off switch!
Time is a great healer though so don't expect too much of yourself too soon, find a distraction, keep yourself busy, enjoy being in the company of friends and family.
And although this is a swingers site and some may say to jump back in the saddle, my advice is to not rush in to meeting anyone too soon.
Sex and being emotional sometimes don't mix too well, just take some time out concentrating on you for a bit.
Hope you feel better soon x |
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Op, if its not meant to be then it has happened this way for the right reasons even with the hurt you now feel..
respect for you in your moral standpoint on not wanting to be the one who would split them up..
chin up fella and stay positive..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You've certainly done the right thing, you don't want to be the one responsible for the end of a relationship, you never know this might be the wake up call she needs and decides to leave her husband under her own steam, and then come looking for you
I wouldn't start a relationship with someone that had already shown how devious a liar they can be. "
Bit harsh me thinks. She is probably hurting as much as the OP is |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'd just like to say thanks to everyone for being so understanding. I'm going to chill out and enjoy a relax for a while. then in a few moths I will see how I feel. I'm feeling slightly better now due to having bought a new bed and a tub of peanut butter ice cream.
I will still be on fab in the mean time just won't be meeting. Thanks again. You're all amazing! xxx |
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