FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > For the women who ignore messages and the men who moan about it!!
For the women who ignore messages and the men who moan about it!!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok so here's one for you!
Taking in to consideration that some guys constantly moan that they would prefer a simple "no thank you" rather than being ignored I did a little experiment.
I had a message from a guy yesterday who had only been on the site for a couple of weeks.
No verifications yet, not much on his profile and physically not my type from the photo he attached.
It was obvious he had not read my profile or decided to ignore my preferences, either way I find that rude.
Equally I have had another message today, again relatively new to the site etc etc.
I send them both this message:
"A word of advice as you're new.
Take the time to read people's profiles, engage with that person based on what they are looking for provided that you match their requirements.
You'll have a lot more luck on here if you do these really simple things and make the effort."
I've not been rude, i've taken the time to give them a little advice to help them out.
One guy just deleted my message  WTF! I'm sure he'd be one of the guys on here moaning that us women do that to him.
The other guy came back with a not so pleasant response regarding my preferences.
Moral of the story is that you guys can moan all you like about not getting responses or getting knocked back etc but when we try and be polite and do reply this is the treatment we get.
I am not saying all you guys are the same but you must appreciate that if this is the kind of outcome we generally get then we're not going to put ourselves in the position for it to continue.
Rant over!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Blimey...I'm a bit shocked at that as I always respond politely if (rarely) answered.
In behalf if the genuine nice guys, sorry you were met with a 100% negative rate! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to say that one day I replied with a thanks but no thanks message to over 80 people,it took bloody ages but I did it
Every message I got back was a nice one |
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"There was a thread the other day about would you appreciate advice if you didn't ask for it, if I remember was people said they wouldn't be happy to receive it"
On a public forum they will say it, 1 to 1 not so much, the thing is the decent people who dont get abusive are normally the ones you yourself pick out to reply to and converse with, the others you choose not to reply to arent worth it, as you have chosen they are not for you so dont reply, its very simple really. |
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I would say I probably get a ratio of 70% - 30% of no replies to messages I send.
If I do get a thanks but no thanks. I go out of my way to say "thanks for the reply, and good luck in your search"
Cant work it out why guys get abusive, it aint going to change their minds, is it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to say that one day I replied with a thanks but no thanks message to over 80 people,it took bloody ages but I did it
Every message I got back was a nice one"
boom!
i think negativity breeds negativity  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be perfectly honest, it's morons like these that give us single guys a bad rep.
I will admit that when I first joined, I found the concept of not expecting a reply back from every message a little strange, but I took the time to read the FAQ's. (I really wish more people would do this). I therefore completely understood the situation and the fact that you wonderful ladies are continuously inundated with messages.
As for the behaviour of these two clowns, I am appalled. As far as I'm concerned, a 'no thank you' is the last word on the matter. I really can't understand how anyone could possibly think a follow up message either seeking sympathy - i.e. 'but why don't you lie me' et al - or getting abusive is going to somehow change someone's mind.
As for the muppet who deleted your message, well, obviously we'll never know if he takes your comments on board or not. Maybe he couldn't quite find the right way of saying 'Thank you'
I really do think some people were brought up in the gutter!
I commend you on your 'experiment'
Certainly if I were one of the individuals concerned, you would have received a very grateful 'Thank you' for the advice.
Good for you!
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I've been on here a while and for what ever reason I may not tick off some of the ladies preferences not coz there is anything wrong with me some people are in search of what it says clearly on there profile to be unpleasant about a message is childish and to be honest if you can't handle the heat as they say lool
I agree it helps to read not just see tits and get excited lol
I'm on a search for something I haven't found on this site yet but no harm done being patient and polite goes a long way
I do find that its a shame a lot of older women on here don't interact with the younger crowd as much but a lot that attend swinging venues love a bit of stamina pace and experience its just one of them things I'm on the wrong side of 25 and still considered to young for some ladies but its all about preference I suppose |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sadly guys do get a bad name on here and also in clubs by a minority of idiots.
I certainly don't assume all guys are the same because let's face it if I did there would be no point me being on the site as I'm only interested in single guys.
If guys just took the time to read the FAQ's, people's profiles and generally stopped to think before they send a message then I think this site would be a much nicer place then it can be sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to say that one day I replied with a thanks but no thanks message to over 80 people,it took bloody ages but I did it
Every message I got back was a nice one"
thats devotion is that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to say that one day I replied with a thanks but no thanks message to over 80 people,it took bloody ages but I did it
Every message I got back was a nice one
thats devotion is that "
I don't do that all the time
Yesterday I deleted everything without reading or replying  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok so here's one for you!
Taking in to consideration that some guys constantly moan that they would prefer a simple "no thank you" rather than being ignored I did a little experiment.
I had a message from a guy yesterday who had only been on the site for a couple of weeks.
No verifications yet, not much on his profile and physically not my type from the photo he attached.
It was obvious he had not read my profile or decided to ignore my preferences, either way I find that rude.
Equally I have had another message today, again relatively new to the site etc etc.
I send them both this message:
"A word of advice as you're new.
Take the time to read people's profiles, engage with that person based on what they are looking for provided that you match their requirements.
You'll have a lot more luck on here if you do these really simple things and make the effort."
I've not been rude, i've taken the time to give them a little advice to help them out.
One guy just deleted my message WTF! I'm sure he'd be one of the guys on here moaning that us women do that to him.
The other guy came back with a not so pleasant response regarding my preferences.
Moral of the story is that you guys can moan all you like about not getting responses or getting knocked back etc but when we try and be polite and do reply this is the treatment we get.
I am not saying all you guys are the same but you must appreciate that if this is the kind of outcome we generally get then we're not going to put ourselves in the position for it to continue.
Rant over! "
I'm quite tempted just to delete and block after the same thing happened to me, but was on another site. Unfortunately, the abusive few does spoil it for the decent many.
P x |
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good for you for posting that message, however I don't think the quality of the profile or the message has as much to do with anything as the pics - very occasionally I'll get a 'thanks but no thanks', or a 'not meeting at the moment' even though they have verifications of recent meets, but fundamentally if you don't match what they want physically you could write a Shakespearian masterpiece and it'll get deleted without the recipient even looking at your profile. The problem is that the male to female ratio is so lopsided that even the least attractive women have an abundance of offers and an average to decent looking guy can count himself lucky to get a single response. There is no such thing as a level playing field in the world of internet dating/hook ups. It's just nice to know that some women actually acknowledge this rather than becoming full of their own self importance.. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"good for you for posting that message, however I don't think the quality of the profile or the message has as much to do with anything as the pics - very occasionally I'll get a 'thanks but no thanks', or a 'not meeting at the moment' even though they have verifications of recent meets, but fundamentally if you don't match what they want physically you could write a Shakespearian masterpiece and it'll get deleted without the recipient even looking at your profile. The problem is that the male to female ratio is so lopsided that even the least attractive women have an abundance of offers and an average to decent looking guy can count himself lucky to get a single response. There is no such thing as a level playing field in the world of internet dating/hook ups. It's just nice to know that some women actually acknowledge this rather than becoming full of their own self importance.."
How do you know they haven't looked at your profile? I have looked but you would never know!
Plus If men want to drop their standards by shagging what you call 'least attractive women' then they are your target market to try and educate it's quite simple, me on the other hand? I struggle, but I never drop my standards, it's poor quality of the messages and profiles in my neck of the woods, suggest men just think women on here are just gagging for it, me? I have my wand if and when required, so I would rather go without...so a hell of a lot of my messages just go deleted whenever I do a mass delete  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes. You said "one just deleted the message WTF"
Doesn't really matter that he deleted it?
As you say women delete messages that aren't interested and that's ok. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I came to terms with deleted messages a while back. I only sent a few speculative messages a week, and I am sure the recipients get hundreds so mine being deleted isn't an issue. All I do is add a private note and move on.
When I do get a thanks but no thanks, I reply thanking them for the reply and wishing them well.
Some of these ladies I still chat with, knowing full well a meet is never going to happen! |
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"good for you for posting that message, however I don't think the quality of the profile or the message has as much to do with anything as the pics - very occasionally I'll get a 'thanks but no thanks', or a 'not meeting at the moment' even though they have verifications of recent meets, but fundamentally if you don't match what they want physically you could write a Shakespearian masterpiece and it'll get deleted without the recipient even looking at your profile. The problem is that the male to female ratio is so lopsided that even the least attractive women have an abundance of offers and an average to decent looking guy can count himself lucky to get a single response. There is no such thing as a level playing field in the world of internet dating/hook ups. It's just nice to know that some women actually acknowledge this rather than becoming full of their own self importance..
How do you know they haven't looked at your profile? I have looked but you would never know!
Plus If men want to drop their standards by shagging what you call 'least attractive women' then they are your target market to try and educate it's quite simple, me on the other hand? I struggle, but I never drop my standards, it's poor quality of the messages and profiles in my neck of the woods, suggest men just think women on here are just gagging for it, me? I have my wand if and when required, so I would rather go without...so a hell of a lot of my messages just go deleted whenever I do a mass delete "
how do I know they haven't looked? because I'm notified when someone looks! I don't send many messages so unless, as in this particular case, as I last night posted a thread so several people looked at my profile, I can tell if the person I messaged looked or not. And no, it's not about 'dropping standards' it's about taking those rare opportunities to meet someone. You're a woman so have far more choices and you know it. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"good for you for posting that message, however I don't think the quality of the profile or the message has as much to do with anything as the pics - very occasionally I'll get a 'thanks but no thanks', or a 'not meeting at the moment' even though they have verifications of recent meets, but fundamentally if you don't match what they want physically you could write a Shakespearian masterpiece and it'll get deleted without the recipient even looking at your profile. The problem is that the male to female ratio is so lopsided that even the least attractive women have an abundance of offers and an average to decent looking guy can count himself lucky to get a single response. There is no such thing as a level playing field in the world of internet dating/hook ups. It's just nice to know that some women actually acknowledge this rather than becoming full of their own self importance..
How do you know they haven't looked at your profile? I have looked but you would never know!
Plus If men want to drop their standards by shagging what you call 'least attractive women' then they are your target market to try and educate it's quite simple, me on the other hand? I struggle, but I never drop my standards, it's poor quality of the messages and profiles in my neck of the woods, suggest men just think women on here are just gagging for it, me? I have my wand if and when required, so I would rather go without...so a hell of a lot of my messages just go deleted whenever I do a mass delete
how do I know they haven't looked? because I'm notified when someone looks! I don't send many messages so unless, as in this particular case, as I last night posted a thread so several people looked at my profile, I can tell if the person I messaged looked or not. And no, it's not about 'dropping standards' it's about taking those rare opportunities to meet someone. You're a woman so have far more choices and you know it. "
I looked in stealth mode....did you see me??? NO you didn't! That is what I meant, regardless on whether I have more choice or not, that is besides the question, treat me with respect, have a decent profile, it will help you all ten fold  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes. You said "one just deleted the message WTF"
Doesn't really matter that he deleted it?
As you say women delete messages that aren't interested and that's ok. "
Sorry maybe it wasn't clear what my point was with that.
What I was trying to highlight from this thread is that so many guys complain about their messages just getting deleted and they think it's rude. I was trying to point out that by responding even politely we are sometimes opening ourselves up to unnecessary abuse. I'm not saying deleting is right but sometimes it's the only option.
The bit that shocked me about the guy who deleted the message is that he'd not taken the time to read my profile and I think that's just as rude. I gave him some friendly advice as he was new and it was just brushed aside, he'll probably be one of the guys complaining on here soon that he can't get meets or doesn't get replies.
It just surprised me that's all but he's just as entitled to delete my message. |
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I treat everyone with respect, my profile is simple and to the point, my pics are all that matters. and yes, the fact that you have more choices is exactly the point..you have not the slightest clue how it is from a male perspective. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I treat everyone with respect, my profile is simple and to the point, my pics are all that matters. and yes, the fact that you have more choices is exactly the point..you have not the slightest clue how it is from a male perspective. "
Having more choice does not mean the grass is greener, it just means we have more shite to trawl through, you mention pics? You have none on your profile so look again! If the male thought with his big head and not with his little one, you wouldn't be bloody confused why females can't be arsed with answering shite messages! It is not rocket science, though in some cases it appears it actually is!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I treat everyone with respect, my profile is simple and to the point, my pics are all that matters. and yes, the fact that you have more choices is exactly the point..you have not the slightest clue how it is from a male perspective. "
Sorry but I have to disagree with you.
Here is an experiment for you to try...
Create a unverified womans profile that says fill in later, no pics and can accommodate.
See how long it takes for you to read every profile of all the horny men that wink, send fancy a fuck messages etc, then reply nicely to each one.
I suspect you will be there for some time.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I treat everyone with respect, my profile is simple and to the point, my pics are all that matters. and yes, the fact that you have more choices is exactly the point..you have not the slightest clue how it is from a male perspective.
Sorry but I have to disagree with you.
Here is an experiment for you to try...
Create a unverified womans profile that says fill in later, no pics and can accommodate.
See how long it takes for you to read every profile of all the horny men that wink, send fancy a fuck messages etc, then reply nicely to each one.
I suspect you will be there for some time.
"
Yep - I had a blank profile for months. Still received over 100 messages a day. |
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well I can feel the respect oozing from your keyboard! what's with all the scratchiness? let me walk you through what I mean..I don't have public pics for discretionary purposes, I SEND them along with a polite message, and more often than not they get deleted, and I know full well it isn't because of the quality of my message it's because of the quality of my pics - how do I know this? because yes, some time ago I experimented with a fake profile of a male model, and I was receiving messages from horny women before I could even finish uploading it. so having to trawl through loads and loads of offers is comparable to not having any offers at all? I rest my case. |
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I've done exactly that, and I know the results, but how can too many messages be the same as not having any messages at all? you mean you have too much choice?! how awful! well I'll gladly swap if you'd prefer to have next to no choice.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I treat everyone with respect, my profile is simple and to the point, my pics are all that matters. and yes, the fact that you have more choices is exactly the point..you have not the slightest clue how it is from a male perspective.
Sorry but I have to disagree with you.
Here is an experiment for you to try...
Create a unverified womans profile that says fill in later, no pics and can accommodate.
See how long it takes for you to read every profile of all the horny men that wink, send fancy a fuck messages etc, then reply nicely to each one.
I suspect you will be there for some time.
Yep - I had a blank profile for months. Still received over 100 messages a day. "
I've had a shadow avatar on my one line profile and still got loads of messages saying how sexy I looked lol ~ what's that all about?!
I've realised a lot of people don't read profiles but now I'd don't feel so guilty about deleting messages as my preferences are there to see.
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"well I can feel the respect oozing from your keyboard! what's with all the scratchiness? let me walk you through what I mean..I don't have public pics for discretionary purposes, I SEND them along with a polite message, and more often than not they get deleted, and I know full well it isn't because of the quality of my message it's because of the quality of my pics - how do I know this? because yes, some time ago I experimented with a fake profile of a male model, and I was receiving messages from horny women before I could even finish uploading it. so having to trawl through loads and loads of offers is comparable to not having any offers at all? I rest my case. "
Discretion discretion discretion is utter pish, I value my discretion and none of my public pics have my face, so there is no excuse!
Play the oh woe is me card all you want, but you will still find a reason or any excuse or what for's that are posted on this thread! |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"well I can feel the respect oozing from your keyboard! what's with all the scratchiness? let me walk you through what I mean..I don't have public pics for discretionary purposes, I SEND them along with a polite message, and more often than not they get deleted, and I know full well it isn't because of the quality of my message it's because of the quality of my pics - how do I know this? because yes, some time ago I experimented with a fake profile of a male model, and I was receiving messages from horny women before I could even finish uploading it. so having to trawl through loads and loads of offers is comparable to not having any offers at all? I rest my case. "
My OH has no pictures and a two line profile. I met him because from the very first message he sent me we clicked. Personally and sexually. I didn't even think to ask for a face pic. He sent me one a few days into our chatting because he realised I hadn't seen one. |
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"well I can feel the respect oozing from your keyboard! what's with all the scratchiness? let me walk you through what I mean..I don't have public pics for discretionary purposes, I SEND them along with a polite message, and more often than not they get deleted, and I know full well it isn't because of the quality of my message it's because of the quality of my pics - how do I know this? because yes, some time ago I experimented with a fake profile of a male model, and I was receiving messages from horny women before I could even finish uploading it. so having to trawl through loads and loads of offers is comparable to not having any offers at all? I rest my case.
Discretion discretion discretion is utter pish, I value my discretion and none of my public pics have my face, so there is no excuse!
Play the oh woe is me card all you want, but you will still find a reason or any excuse or what for's that are posted on this thread! "
you're a real charmer ain't ya. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"well I can feel the respect oozing from your keyboard! what's with all the scratchiness? let me walk you through what I mean..I don't have public pics for discretionary purposes, I SEND them along with a polite message, and more often than not they get deleted, and I know full well it isn't because of the quality of my message it's because of the quality of my pics - how do I know this? because yes, some time ago I experimented with a fake profile of a male model, and I was receiving messages from horny women before I could even finish uploading it. so having to trawl through loads and loads of offers is comparable to not having any offers at all? I rest my case.
Discretion discretion discretion is utter pish, I value my discretion and none of my public pics have my face, so there is no excuse!
Play the oh woe is me card all you want, but you will still find a reason or any excuse or what for's that are posted on this thread!
you're a real charmer ain't ya. "
I am indeed! But if I can have pics on my profile so can you! No excuses, but then men feel so hard done to on here and want to blame everyone else but themselves....hey ho, no skin off my nose, just carry on as you were, but don't complain if it isn't working for you |
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By *quirrelMan
over a year ago
East Manchester |
It may be a sweeping statement but all men get treated like dogs by the ladies because of their past experiences when only a few are deserving enough to be treated like one.
Cannot really complain though, a good friend who I charmed into joining, posted her profile on a Sunday night, the following Friday when she came back from Europe she had 500+ messages.
Despite stating no cock shots or sex acts in messages to her, every guy attached pics showing just that.
She got so sick of what each guy said they would like to do to her in his message to her she just deleted her profile.
Some people just don't know how to behave and muck it up for other's. |
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"well I can feel the respect oozing from your keyboard! what's with all the scratchiness? let me walk you through what I mean..I don't have public pics for discretionary purposes, I SEND them along with a polite message, and more often than not they get deleted, and I know full well it isn't because of the quality of my message it's because of the quality of my pics - how do I know this? because yes, some time ago I experimented with a fake profile of a male model, and I was receiving messages from horny women before I could even finish uploading it. so having to trawl through loads and loads of offers is comparable to not having any offers at all? I rest my case.
Discretion discretion discretion is utter pish, I value my discretion and none of my public pics have my face, so there is no excuse!
Play the oh woe is me card all you want, but you will still find a reason or any excuse or what for's that are posted on this thread!
you're a real charmer ain't ya.
I am indeed! But if I can have pics on my profile so can you! No excuses, but then men feel so hard done to on here and want to blame everyone else but themselves....hey ho, no skin off my nose, just carry on as you were, but don't complain if it isn't working for you "
so how would having pics on my public profile make a difference if my messages containing pics get deleted? and no I'm not saying 'woe is me' I'm just saying how it is! |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"well I can feel the respect oozing from your keyboard! what's with all the scratchiness? let me walk you through what I mean..I don't have public pics for discretionary purposes, I SEND them along with a polite message, and more often than not they get deleted, and I know full well it isn't because of the quality of my message it's because of the quality of my pics - how do I know this? because yes, some time ago I experimented with a fake profile of a male model, and I was receiving messages from horny women before I could even finish uploading it. so having to trawl through loads and loads of offers is comparable to not having any offers at all? I rest my case.
Discretion discretion discretion is utter pish, I value my discretion and none of my public pics have my face, so there is no excuse!
Play the oh woe is me card all you want, but you will still find a reason or any excuse or what for's that are posted on this thread!
you're a real charmer ain't ya.
I am indeed! But if I can have pics on my profile so can you! No excuses, but then men feel so hard done to on here and want to blame everyone else but themselves....hey ho, no skin off my nose, just carry on as you were, but don't complain if it isn't working for you
so how would having pics on my public profile make a difference if my messages containing pics get deleted? and no I'm not saying 'woe is me' I'm just saying how it is! "
Because your profile screams laziness! You have 2 lines at most, regardless of how many pics you attach, I would just delete without opening, no effort in = no effort out, it is quite simple! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ladies. Put your filters on, take yourself off the searches (delete your 'looking for'), and go looking for people you want to meet. It's really that simple.
Send some mails... get a few rejections/ deletes/ no replies.... |
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"well I can feel the respect oozing from your keyboard! what's with all the scratchiness? let me walk you through what I mean..I don't have public pics for discretionary purposes, I SEND them along with a polite message, and more often than not they get deleted, and I know full well it isn't because of the quality of my message it's because of the quality of my pics - how do I know this? because yes, some time ago I experimented with a fake profile of a male model, and I was receiving messages from horny women before I could even finish uploading it. so having to trawl through loads and loads of offers is comparable to not having any offers at all? I rest my case.
Discretion discretion discretion is utter pish, I value my discretion and none of my public pics have my face, so there is no excuse!
Play the oh woe is me card all you want, but you will still find a reason or any excuse or what for's that are posted on this thread!
you're a real charmer ain't ya.
I am indeed! But if I can have pics on my profile so can you! No excuses, but then men feel so hard done to on here and want to blame everyone else but themselves....hey ho, no skin off my nose, just carry on as you were, but don't complain if it isn't working for you
so how would having pics on my public profile make a difference if my messages containing pics get deleted? and no I'm not saying 'woe is me' I'm just saying how it is!
Because your profile screams laziness! You have 2 lines at most, regardless of how many pics you attach, I would just delete without opening, no effort in = no effort out, it is quite simple!"
nonsense, I've been on other dating sites and have put plenty of effort into my profile, as I have here on previous occasions but it makes no difference if the recipient of my message doesn't like the pics! why are you so insistent in denying this? having a better profile doesn't necessarily mean an increased chance of replies because you know full well that physical appearance is everything! if it has any effect it's negligible at best. As I've already said, you're a woman so therefore gets offers on a plate and your opinion on a man's experience with this site frankly means diddley squat. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"well I've taken the advice, expanded my profile and added pics for public view...will report back with all the messages and meets I get in due course  "
I actually think your profile is much better, it's clear, honest and says things about you and your personality.
I hope it works for you, good luck! |
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"well I've taken the advice, expanded my profile and added pics for public view...will report back with all the messages and meets I get in due course
I actually think your profile is much better, it's clear, honest and says things about you and your personality.
I hope it works for you, good luck!"
thanks x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Whinge, moan, whinge, whine, moan, whinge, whine, moan, whinge, ...................zzz zzzzzzzz zzz zzzzzzzz "Ö" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If I can see someone has taken the time to write a nice message out, I'll answer - even with a simple thanks but no thanks. More often than not I don't get well thought out messages, so they just get trashed straight away.
An addition to the buttons in the messages would be good. "Reply, delete, delete and send no thank you" would be handy - sending an automatic no thank you message once you press delete. Saves any bother! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If I can see someone has taken the time to write a nice message out, I'll answer - even with a simple thanks but no thanks. More often than not I don't get well thought out messages, so they just get trashed straight away.
An addition to the buttons in the messages would be good. "Reply, delete, delete and send no thank you" would be handy - sending an automatic no thank you message once you press delete. Saves any bother! "
If only everyone was like you!!
.......there also should be an NB key which instantly sends 'NB' & deletes/blocks!! |
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"If I can see someone has taken the time to write a nice message out, I'll answer - even with a simple thanks but no thanks. More often than not I don't get well thought out messages, so they just get trashed straight away.
An addition to the buttons in the messages would be good. "Reply, delete, delete and send no thank you" would be handy - sending an automatic no thank you message once you press delete. Saves any bother!
If only everyone was like you!!
.......there also should be an NB key which instantly sends 'NB' & deletes/blocks!!"
can you elaborate dude? it's early/late and I'm being slow |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have to say that one day I replied with a thanks but no thanks message to over 80 people,it took bloody ages but I did it
Every message I got back was a nice one
boom!
i think negativity breeds negativity "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"good for you for posting that message, however I don't think the quality of the profile or the message has as much to do with anything as the pics - very occasionally I'll get a 'thanks but no thanks', or a 'not meeting at the moment' even though they have verifications of recent meets, but fundamentally if you don't match what they want physically you could write a Shakespearian masterpiece and it'll get deleted without the recipient even looking at your profile. The problem is that the male to female ratio is so lopsided that even the least attractive women have an abundance of offers and an average to decent looking guy can count himself lucky to get a single response. There is no such thing as a level playing field in the world of internet dating/hook ups. It's just nice to know that some women actually acknowledge this rather than becoming full of their own self importance.."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As a cock in a frock I probably get less messages than the less attractive ladies on here.
I get between 5 & 10 a day and 1 or 2 from couples. Sometimes I get one from a lady.
I reply to almost all if them and have never, to date, had a rude reply.
I've never had a message of mine go unread & deleted..... Could be because I never send a first message unless it's linked to a forum post. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so here's one for you!
Taking in to consideration that some guys constantly moan that they would prefer a simple "no thank you" rather than being ignored I did a little experiment.
I had a message from a guy yesterday who had only been on the site for a couple of weeks.
No verifications yet, not much on his profile and physically not my type from the photo he attached.
It was obvious he had not read my profile or decided to ignore my preferences, either way I find that rude.
Equally I have had another message today, again relatively new to the site etc etc.
I send them both this message:
"A word of advice as you're new.
Take the time to read people's profiles, engage with that person based on what they are looking for provided that you match their requirements.
You'll have a lot more luck on here if you do these really simple things and make the effort."
I've not been rude, i've taken the time to give them a little advice to help them out.
One guy just deleted my message WTF! I'm sure he'd be one of the guys on here moaning that us women do that to him.
The other guy came back with a not so pleasant response regarding my preferences.
Moral of the story is that you guys can moan all you like about not getting responses or getting knocked back etc but when we try and be polite and do reply this is the treatment we get.
I am not saying all you guys are the same but you must appreciate that if this is the kind of outcome we generally get then we're not going to put ourselves in the position for it to continue.
Rant over! "
Why did you expect a reply? It wasn't a question, just advice. Perhaps the guy read it then deleted to keep his inbox tidy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If I have a few messages to go through, I'll read them all, save the one's I'm interested in in my saved inbox to reply to later then do a mass delete as its quicker than deleting one by one. The sender only sees I've deleted it. Once I got an abusive message because I deleted it, he obviously didn't realise what I'd done but its how I run my profile. Needless to say, he wasn't going to get a reply for a reaction like that when unbeknown to him, I was actually interested. I sometimes think it would be better if the facility to see the status of a sent message should be taken away, can't worry about it then, you'll either get a reply or you won't, simple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Did they ask for advice? "
I suspect he was after sex rather than a lecture. Perhaps the ladies he's really keen on get a well thought out message and the ones he's not so keen on get a 'hi. Nice pics'.
Single guys probably get so many rejections and lectures that they just bulk delete and only read the possibly interested replies.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so here's one for you!
Taking in to consideration that some guys constantly moan that they would prefer a simple "no thank you" rather than being ignored I did a little experiment.
I had a message from a guy yesterday who had only been on the site for a couple of weeks.
No verifications yet, not much on his profile and physically not my type from the photo he attached.
It was obvious he had not read my profile or decided to ignore my preferences, either way I find that rude.
Equally I have had another message today, again relatively new to the site etc etc.
I send them both this message:
"A word of advice as you're new.
Take the time to read people's profiles, engage with that person based on what they are looking for provided that you match their requirements.
You'll have a lot more luck on here if you do these really simple things and make the effort."
I've not been rude, i've taken the time to give them a little advice to help them out.
One guy just deleted my message WTF! I'm sure he'd be one of the guys on here moaning that us women do that to him.
The other guy came back with a not so pleasant response regarding my preferences.
Moral of the story is that you guys can moan all you like about not getting responses or getting knocked back etc but when we try and be polite and do reply this is the treatment we get.
I am not saying all you guys are the same but you must appreciate that if this is the kind of outcome we generally get then we're not going to put ourselves in the position for it to continue.
Rant over! "
I couldn't help but notice that although you've a 'single' profile, you keep mentioning the word 'we', - are you a poorly disguised couple? |
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"If I have a few messages to go through, I'll read them all, save the one's I'm interested in in my saved inbox to reply to later then do a mass delete as its quicker than deleting one by one. The sender only sees I've deleted it. Once I got an abusive message because I deleted it, he obviously didn't realise what I'd done but its how I run my profile. Needless to say, he wasn't going to get a reply for a reaction like that when unbeknown to him, I was actually interested. I sometimes think it would be better if the facility to see the status of a sent message should be taken away, can't worry about it then, you'll either get a reply or you won't, simple "
Ah but for some people if thy cannot see if you have read their message will lead to another message. The second message will begin with something like "Hi. I am not sure if you got my first email so I thought I would email you again". You can't win either way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so here's one for you!
Taking in to consideration that some guys constantly moan that they would prefer a simple "no thank you" rather than being ignored I did a little experiment.
I had a message from a guy yesterday who had only been on the site for a couple of weeks.
No verifications yet, not much on his profile and physically not my type from the photo he attached.
It was obvious he had not read my profile or decided to ignore my preferences, either way I find that rude.
Equally I have had another message today, again relatively new to the site etc etc.
I send them both this message:
"A word of advice as you're new.
Take the time to read people's profiles, engage with that person based on what they are looking for provided that you match their requirements.
You'll have a lot more luck on here if you do these really simple things and make the effort."
I've not been rude, i've taken the time to give them a little advice to help them out.
One guy just deleted my message WTF! I'm sure he'd be one of the guys on here moaning that us women do that to him.
The other guy came back with a not so pleasant response regarding my preferences.
Moral of the story is that you guys can moan all you like about not getting responses or getting knocked back etc but when we try and be polite and do reply this is the treatment we get.
I am not saying all you guys are the same but you must appreciate that if this is the kind of outcome we generally get then we're not going to put ourselves in the position for it to continue.
Rant over! "
Well said! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If I have a few messages to go through, I'll read them all, save the one's I'm interested in in my saved inbox to reply to later then do a mass delete as its quicker than deleting one by one. The sender only sees I've deleted it. Once I got an abusive message because I deleted it, he obviously didn't realise what I'd done but its how I run my profile. Needless to say, he wasn't going to get a reply for a reaction like that when unbeknown to him, I was actually interested. I sometimes think it would be better if the facility to see the status of a sent message should be taken away, can't worry about it then, you'll either get a reply or you won't, simple
Ah but for some people if thy cannot see if you have read their message will lead to another message. The second message will begin with something like "Hi. I am not sure if you got my first email so I thought I would email you again". You can't win either way. "
They will know I've read it because it says read/deleted. It obviously doesn't say read/deleted/saved to reply to at a later date lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so here's one for you!
Taking in to consideration that some guys constantly moan that they would prefer a simple "no thank you" rather than being ignored I did a little experiment.
I had a message from a guy yesterday who had only been on the site for a couple of weeks.
No verifications yet, not much on his profile and physically not my type from the photo he attached.
It was obvious he had not read my profile or decided to ignore my preferences, either way I find that rude.
Equally I have had another message today, again relatively new to the site etc etc.
I send them both this message:
"A word of advice as you're new.
Take the time to read people's profiles, engage with that person based on what they are looking for provided that you match their requirements.
You'll have a lot more luck on here if you do these really simple things and make the effort."
I've not been rude, i've taken the time to give them a little advice to help them out.
One guy just deleted my message WTF! I'm sure he'd be one of the guys on here moaning that us women do that to him.
The other guy came back with a not so pleasant response regarding my preferences.
Moral of the story is that you guys can moan all you like about not getting responses or getting knocked back etc but when we try and be polite and do reply this is the treatment we get.
I am not saying all you guys are the same but you must appreciate that if this is the kind of outcome we generally get then we're not going to put ourselves in the position for it to continue.
Rant over!
I couldn't help but notice that although you've a 'single' profile, you keep mentioning the word 'we', - are you a poorly disguised couple? "
Isn't it 'we' as in woman ~ plural |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so here's one for you!
Taking in to consideration that some guys constantly moan that they would prefer a simple "no thank you" rather than being ignored I did a little experiment.
I had a message from a guy yesterday who had only been on the site for a couple of weeks.
No verifications yet, not much on his profile and physically not my type from the photo he attached.
It was obvious he had not read my profile or decided to ignore my preferences, either way I find that rude.
Equally I have had another message today, again relatively new to the site etc etc.
I send them both this message:
"A word of advice as you're new.
Take the time to read people's profiles, engage with that person based on what they are looking for provided that you match their requirements.
You'll have a lot more luck on here if you do these really simple things and make the effort."
I've not been rude, i've taken the time to give them a little advice to help them out.
One guy just deleted my message WTF! I'm sure he'd be one of the guys on here moaning that us women do that to him.
The other guy came back with a not so pleasant response regarding my preferences.
Moral of the story is that you guys can moan all you like about not getting responses or getting knocked back etc but when we try and be polite and do reply this is the treatment we get.
I am not saying all you guys are the same but you must appreciate that if this is the kind of outcome we generally get then we're not going to put ourselves in the position for it to continue.
Rant over! "
Two messages is a rather small sample size to be drawing any conclusions from. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so here's one for you!
Taking in to consideration that some guys constantly moan that they would prefer a simple "no thank you" rather than being ignored I did a little experiment.
I had a message from a guy yesterday who had only been on the site for a couple of weeks.
No verifications yet, not much on his profile and physically not my type from the photo he attached.
It was obvious he had not read my profile or decided to ignore my preferences, either way I find that rude.
Equally I have had another message today, again relatively new to the site etc etc.
I send them both this message:
"A word of advice as you're new.
Take the time to read people's profiles, engage with that person based on what they are looking for provided that you match their requirements.
You'll have a lot more luck on here if you do these really simple things and make the effort."
I've not been rude, i've taken the time to give them a little advice to help them out.
One guy just deleted my message WTF! I'm sure he'd be one of the guys on here moaning that us women do that to him.
The other guy came back with a not so pleasant response regarding my preferences.
Moral of the story is that you guys can moan all you like about not getting responses or getting knocked back etc but when we try and be polite and do reply this is the treatment we get.
I am not saying all you guys are the same but you must appreciate that if this is the kind of outcome we generally get then we're not going to put ourselves in the position for it to continue.
Rant over!
I couldn't help but notice that although you've a 'single' profile, you keep mentioning the word 'we', - are you a poorly disguised couple?
Isn't it 'we' as in woman ~ plural"
Oh, I see, sorry, - I just wasn't aware that all women are the same; - I hope not! |
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By *afadaoMan
over a year ago
Staines |
"As a cock in a frock I probably get less messages than the less attractive ladies on here.
I get between 5 & 10 a day and 1 or 2 from couples. Sometimes I get one from a lady.D"
Approx between 6-12 messages a day? Hmmmm, I'm off frock shopping today |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so here's one for you!
Taking in to consideration that some guys constantly moan that they would prefer a simple "no thank you" rather than being ignored I did a little experiment.
I had a message from a guy yesterday who had only been on the site for a couple of weeks.
No verifications yet, not much on his profile and physically not my type from the photo he attached.
It was obvious he had not read my profile or decided to ignore my preferences, either way I find that rude.
Equally I have had another message today, again relatively new to the site etc etc.
I send them both this message:
"A word of advice as you're new.
Take the time to read people's profiles, engage with that person based on what they are looking for provided that you match their requirements.
You'll have a lot more luck on here if you do these really simple things and make the effort."
I've not been rude, i've taken the time to give them a little advice to help them out.
One guy just deleted my message WTF! I'm sure he'd be one of the guys on here moaning that us women do that to him.
The other guy came back with a not so pleasant response regarding my preferences.
Moral of the story is that you guys can moan all you like about not getting responses or getting knocked back etc but when we try and be polite and do reply this is the treatment we get.
I am not saying all you guys are the same but you must appreciate that if this is the kind of outcome we generally get then we're not going to put ourselves in the position for it to continue.
Rant over!
I couldn't help but notice that although you've a 'single' profile, you keep mentioning the word 'we', - are you a poorly disguised couple?
Isn't it 'we' as in woman ~ plural
Oh, I see, sorry, - I just wasn't aware that all women are the same; - I hope not! "
I might be wrong but that's how I read it~ and you're right we're definitely not all the same lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Just to clarify I am very much single the "we" was referring to women but in no way am I saying we are all the same.
There is a forum thread nearly every day from guys saying they don't get meets, responses, asking for advice etc etc. Most of the replies are giving advice about the ratio of men to women and being patient, but also about making their profile stand out more, and even taking the time to read profiles properly.
Whilst I understand that only messaging 2 guys is not a full blown experiment, I created this post off the back of another thread I had commented on just to give an example of what I or women sometimes have to put up with.
I didn't EXPECT the guy to reply at all, my point was that him not reading my profile I deem as rude, I took the time to reply a nice message to just help him out a bit, he deleted my message probably without taking anything on board and will most likely be in the forums at some point moaning he can't get meets or responses to his messages.
I did quite clearly say that I'm not saying all single guys are the same because I know you're not as I've met some lovely ones since being on the site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As a cock in a frock I probably get less messages than the less attractive ladies on here.
I get between 5 & 10 a day and 1 or 2 from couples. Sometimes I get one from a lady.D
Approx between 6-12 messages a day? Hmmmm, I'm off frock shopping today "
Lol. It jumps to 40 or more when I post a new picture. Go for it! Only down side is they are reluctant to verify usually. But then again; I'm not after verification. Just fun |
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"As a cock in a frock I probably get less messages than the less attractive ladies on here.
I get between 5 & 10 a day and 1 or 2 from couples. Sometimes I get one from a lady.D
Approx between 6-12 messages a day? Hmmmm, I'm off frock shopping today "
my thoughts exactly! |
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"As a cock in a frock I probably get less messages than the less attractive ladies on here.
I get between 5 & 10 a day and 1 or 2 from couples. Sometimes I get one from a lady.D
Approx between 6-12 messages a day? Hmmmm, I'm off frock shopping today "
Can i be your personal shopper? |
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By *WcplCouple
over a year ago
Tameside |
Even a simple "no thank you" receives sometimes abusive or persistent responses. I used to reply to as many as possible, but its not worth the hassle so have joined the legions who just delete and ignore |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As a cock in a frock I probably get less messages than the less attractive ladies on here.
I get between 5 & 10 a day and 1 or 2 from couples. Sometimes I get one from a lady.D
Approx between 6-12 messages a day? Hmmmm, I'm off frock shopping today
Can i be your personal shopper? "
I'm glad you didn't ask me that; I LOVE SHOPPING! I'd shop with you but I wouldn't want someone to just do it for me. |
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If someone has obviously took the time to read my profile and are respectful, I will most likely reply, but when it is obvious they haven't I just delete them and block if necessary, no point entering into a conversation that has no prospects. It's not a lot to ask for people to read your profile if you have took the time to state what you are looking for.
Trouble I'm finding is some men who think that just because you have replied on just had a bit of conversation it means you will meet, they just don't understand that it is all down to personal preference and physical attraction as well as availability etc and they won't take being told no, their behaviour resembles that of child having a tantrum, so the block option gets used a lot.
I won't commit to anything unless it's a definite, as it's my body and I will choose who gets to enjoy it. |
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