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By *G Lana OP TV/TS
over a year ago
Gosport |
The text below was acquired from the Darwin Awards but should serve as a warning here:
(May 2014, England) In the interest of public safety, Darwin Awards editors are releasing this ribald event to the public to serve as a warning to adventurous amorous males. The event was brought too our attention by an eyewitness, who provided additional details (withheld for privacy reasons) to confirm it.
"Being part of emergency services, firemen are called upon to get people out of unlikely situations. Upon one occasion we were called to the A&E Department of a central London hospital to assist in removing a thing ring. With our ring cutters at the ready, we were presented with the patient, his 'meat and two veg' extremely swollen and such a dark purple that they were almost blackened. The whole sorry mess was encircled by a thick titanium ring. Normally the procedure to remove a thing ring is a five-minute affair, but our cutters could not make a mark on the titanium! After expending a number of cutter blades we had to concede defeat.
"The man in question had put himself into this situation three days prior to committing himself to A&E, delaying the hospital visit due to embarrassment and a vain hope that it would resolve itself in time. Unfortunately this error in judgement cost him dearly. The wonderful doctors can often drain blood and remove the ring the way it went on--yet by the time he sought help, and our tools had been defeated, his jewels was past saving. Full castration--the result of the man's own actions and decisions--make this eunuch a self-selected nominee for a living Darwin Award. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wholly invalid.
To remove any future progeny from the gene pool is one thing.
To earn a Darwin Award you have to remove yourself, lock stock and tackle, from the gene pool. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"
Wholly invalid.
To remove any future progeny from the gene pool is one thing.
To earn a Darwin Award you have to remove yourself, lock stock and tackle, from the gene pool. "
He had to be castrated. Unless he already had kids he's eligible for a Darwin Award. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Wholly invalid.
To remove any future progeny from the gene pool is one thing.
To earn a Darwin Award you have to remove yourself, lock stock and tackle, from the gene pool.
He had to be castrated. Unless he already had kids he's eligible for a Darwin Award."
 |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"
Wholly invalid.
To remove any future progeny from the gene pool is one thing.
To earn a Darwin Award you have to remove yourself, lock stock and tackle, from the gene pool. "
They usually have an honorary award for the people who don't die. |
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this has been an issue for several years tough not to the extent described..
titanium and other high strength metals are not easy to cut with standard kit, in this case it would be a ring cutter designed for wedding bands etc.. |
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