FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > 14 things men think when eating pussy
14 things men think when eating pussy
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
1. I should have looked up "clitoris" on Wikipedia before this whole thing started.
2. Is she still watching TV? I can't tell if her eyes are closed or if she's still watching Conan...wait, is she looking at me? No, her eyes are closed. Are they? Yeah. Wait, no?
3. Does she want me to touch her boobs? I think I can reach her boobs from here. Nope, I can't. I'm just kind of awkwardly clawing at her rib cage. Abort.
4. Oh, fuck. I have to cough. Will she notice if I cough directly into her vagina? No, don't run the risk. Suppress it, dude.
5. Dammit, she did want me to touch her boobs. Now she's touching her own boobs. Wait, this is awesome. STOP STARING AND KEEP GOING.
6. Are we going to have sex soon? (Full disclosure, this one is pretty much being thought the whole time. It's also being thought when a man isn't giving oral, like when he's engaging you in casual conversation, or eating a hot dog, or sleeping. Men are thinking this about every woman they come into casual contact with all day).
7. Whatever happened to Ashanti? Is she still making music? I have to remember to Google her later.
8.My beard is going to smell like vagina later. I think I'm ok with this. I know I'm ok with this. (NOTE: This only pertains to men with beards)
9. Lying on my stomach with an erection isn't ideal. Where the fuck do I put my dick right now? Ok, I'm going to try to just point it down...nope. Everything happening to my dick is awful right now. Would she notice if I cut a hole in her mattress and made myself a cock burrow?
10. I STILL CAN'T TELL IF YOUR EYES ARE CLOSED FROM THIS ANGLE. ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME? SHOULD I WINK OR SOME SHIT?
11. Ok, she's arching her back. Her right leg is twitching. I'm the fucking man right now. Don't lose focus. Do not forget to look up Ashanti's career trajectory later.
12. SHE IS LITERALLY CRUSHING MY HEAD WITH HER THIGHS WHERE DID SHE GET THIS STRENGTH FROM SHE IS PUSHING MY HEAD INTO HER VAGINA IF THIS IS HOW I AM GOING TO DIE THEN SO BE IT I WILL LEAVE THIS WORLD AS I CAME INTO IT
13. She came? Yeah. Yeah? Ok, yeah. I'm allowed up now.
14. Alright, I'm going to wait for about two seconds and then just try and put my penis in her vagina. No fear.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"An extra one?
15. I've been been working her G-spot with my finger tip so long my wrist is about to go into spasm!"
Yes - been there.... Or my finger is going into cramp...  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Number 9 you're supposed to turn around and stick it in her mouth
Not with me - if they dare move the thighs are likely to smother them.
"
I helpfully hold the thighs open  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Or maybe...
16. My face & fingers are drenched in pussy juice and she wants me to fuck her... do I wipe it on the sheets before I affectionately cup her face to kiss her... will she kill me? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"trying not to laugh out loud my daughter is in the room - can imagine david walliams acting this out or maybe mr bean pmsl "
It would have to be Mr Bean! Quality!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Or maybe...
16. My face & fingers are drenched in pussy juice and she wants me to fuck her... do I wipe it on the sheets before I affectionately cup her face to kiss her... will she kill me?"
Wipe it on her forehead,that's what someone did to me once. I did know him well so I forgave him |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Or maybe...
16. My face & fingers are drenched in pussy juice and she wants me to fuck her... do I wipe it on the sheets before I affectionately cup her face to kiss her... will she kill me?
Wipe it on her forehead,that's what someone did to me once. I did know him well so I forgave him "
Was it done in a sly way or a bit too obvious? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Or maybe...
16. My face & fingers are drenched in pussy juice and she wants me to fuck her... do I wipe it on the sheets before I affectionately cup her face to kiss her... will she kill me?
Wipe it on her forehead,that's what someone did to me once. I did know him well so I forgave him
Was it done in a sly way or a bit too obvious?"
Obvious,just dragged his fingers across my forehead. I was glad it wasn't the sofa though to be honest |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I sometimes wondered what men were thinking about when giving me oral. Then suddenly I stopped caring  "
It had never crossed my mind until tonight. When I'm giving I'm not thinking about anything,I'm too busy enjoying myself |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Or maybe...
16. My face & fingers are drenched in pussy juice and she wants me to fuck her... do I wipe it on the sheets before I affectionately cup her face to kiss her... will she kill me?
Wipe it on her forehead,that's what someone did to me once. I did know him well so I forgave him
Was it done in a sly way or a bit too obvious?
Obvious,just dragged his fingers across my forehead. I was glad it wasn't the sofa though to be honest "
Lmao... knew it! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
16. Ffs will she cum already my tongue actually hurts right now.
17. If she moves a little I can actually breathe again. Oh no I need air!!! The room is getting cloudy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"16. Ffs will she cum already my tongue actually hurts right now.
17. If she moves a little I can actually breathe again. Oh no I need air!!! The room is getting cloudy "
So men can't actually breathe through their ears? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"16. Ffs will she cum already my tongue actually hurts right now.
17. If she moves a little I can actually breathe again. Oh no I need air!!! The room is getting cloudy
So men can't actually breathe through their ears? "
Possibly.... But being able to hold your breath for a long time certainly helps... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Love this thread!
You're clearly a very cunning linguist Maestrale!
To be honest - i'm usually thinking 'Is it polite to give him about two minutes and ask for that lovely cock inside me?' - Sorry but i'm a huge penetration fan!! xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
