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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Open question here...is cheating wrong?
I've been in a relationship for a few years now and I have been faithful for all that time. However, recently I have been wanting something different (Is this normal?). I love my girlfriend a lot but I have a major case of the wondering eye (hence why I joined here) and I am really considering cheating.
I see my relationship with my girlfriend as emotional and my need to cheat as physical. Maybe I am just justifying it to myself, but I think having other partners wouldn't hurt our relationship at all. It doesn't mean I love her any less.
Anyone with experience of this please help! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does your girlfriend know you're here? Or if not do you intend to tell her? Would she be upset if she knew that you were? Could you join here as a couple ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having other partners won't hurt your relationship if you're honest & open with each other & are both happy about it. Sneaking around behind your girlfriends back will hurt her & your relationship if she finds out. I speak from experience here 
Ask yourself how you'd feel if you found out she'd been having sex with other people without telling you. That's your answer. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No she doesn't know. I doubt she would be too impressed if she found out. She's not a prude, but she isn't far off being one. I think that if this continues, I might have to subtly mention something, but I'd just have to test the water first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be a man,stop trying to justify your needs to have sex with other women and tell her you are feeling like this so she has the chance to tell you to either fuck off or try and work things out with you to bring the lust back  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No she doesn't know. I doubt she would be too impressed if she found out. She's not a prude, but she isn't far off being one. I think that if this continues, I might have to subtly mention something, but I'd just have to test the water first."
What do you think swinging is? |
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By *D40Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Open question here...is cheating wrong?
I've been in a relationship for a few years now and I have been faithful for all that time. However, recently I have been wanting something different (Is this normal?). I love my girlfriend a lot but I have a major case of the wondering eye (hence why I joined here) and I am really considering cheating.
I see my relationship with my girlfriend as emotional and my need to cheat as physical. Maybe I am just justifying it to myself, but I think having other partners wouldn't hurt our relationship at all. It doesn't mean I love her any less.
Anyone with experience of this please help! "
Put it this way. How about your beloved girlfriend joins here & you don't? Now is it cheating? I mean it's only physical, she still loves you best
Mrs Dolph x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Respect for my girlfriend has stopped me from cheating this long. Maybe it is a flaw in my character, but I find the idea of not having sex with another woman extremely difficult.
You have obviously been lucky with your partner as they seem to share the same sexual values as you do. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Then there would be free love and everyone would be happy. Find someone who you are emotionally compatible to live with and then meet up with people you are sexually compatible with...perfect |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
You will justify it to yourself despite the differing _iews on the subject, most do.
we don't know what goes on behind closed doors, do we really care; no.
people want to be able to make an informed choice so pop it on your profile and search for people who will shag you, there are many.
however, it is not nice reading about the failings in the bedroom department of any absent partner or the grandstanding of every detail of encounters people have on here... discretion and leaving the absent partners with a scraping of respect & dignity.
all the best meeting people who will meet you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I couldn't give a monkeys if you cheat or not. We don't meet people who are cheating.
But it's been asked a few times and I'm also curious, how would you react if your girlfriend was to cheat ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Respect for my girlfriend has stopped me from cheating this long. Maybe it is a flaw in my character, but I find the idea of not having sex with another woman extremely difficult.
You have obviously been lucky with your partner as they seem to share the same sexual values as you do. "
Put it this way, if I were tempted to cheat - and frequently - I would stop to reassess my existing relationship and if I realised that cheating was my need to escape, I would call it quits before I did such a deed.
Respect for others does stop you, but so does being content, as do self-respect and dignity. If it's over, it's over.
Some people just don't get it. They don't even take the time to try and understand it, and that isn't only hurtful to their other halves, it's hurtful for any honest man or woman, because it really does damage people. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If you couldn't give a monkeys, then why reply to the post?
Anyway, I'm not sure how I would feel. I think I would get over it and obviously things would change in our relationship, but it's hard to give a definitive answer to a hypothetical question. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you couldn't give a monkeys, then why reply to the post?
Anyway, I'm not sure how I would feel. I think I would get over it and obviously things would change in our relationship, but it's hard to give a definitive answer to a hypothetical question."
If you post a thread, people will reply. Some people won't agree with you.
If you use the 'reply + quote' button, people will know which post you are replying to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah I think you are right. I probably do need to reassess my relationship. Although potentially breaking up with my girlfriend would hurt her, disappoint many people and create other problems; in the long run it will probably be easier.
Cheers for the helpful comment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We cannot see all ends, nor can any of us on here understand, fully, your own circumstances or that of your partner - only you both know that and invariably there are two sides and in the middle sits the truth.
Having suffered the betray of being cheated on it would be easy for me to project my own feelings onto your situation, but I wont (I have done in previous (unrelated) posts but have come to the _iew that projecting it onto someone else's situation doesn't help anyone at all).
But instead, I will propose four questions to ask yourself:-
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1) Do you love your Girlfriend?
2) If she discovered your infidelity (physical or mental) would she be hurt and betrayed by it?
3) Why would you knowingly undertake an activity that would hurt someone you love?
4) How would you feel if you discovered she was unfaithful to you, without your consent?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you couldn't give a monkeys, then why reply to the post?
Anyway, I'm not sure how I would feel. I think I would get over it and obviously things would change in our relationship, but it's hard to give a definitive answer to a hypothetical question."
Getting over not following an urge can very well strengthen a relationship. It's a bond of trust and self-control. Relationships need independence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you couldn't give a monkeys, then why reply to the post?
Anyway, I'm not sure how I would feel. I think I would get over it and obviously things would change in our relationship, but it's hard to give a definitive answer to a hypothetical question."
Because you posted in an open forum and I was curious.
So if you think you would get over it , how do you think she would feel if she caught you cheating ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you are not sexually compatible you are not gonna have a good time at all in a few years time, better call it quits now and get your fun elsewhere without hurting anyone. If you love her you would leave without hurting her, if you don't love her then cheat all you want. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks a lot to the helpful people on here. I'm going to close the post now.
Cheers again "
That's the beauty of this forum, it'll be up till it's run it's course. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yup, think what it might be like in a few years and if you dont see it being a good thing, quit now and save greater heartbreak.
From what you said, you could lose a lot of face, the messier it could be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you think your sexually incompatible now...just wait until a few years down the road! Man up and leave the poor girl if you have any respect for her feelings. To be honest you dont sound like you care.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What if he tried it and discovered it wasn't for him.Burning all his bridges too soon might turn out to have been a hasty decision causing unescessary misery all round.
Just another perspective. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if he tried it and discovered it wasn't for him.Burning all his bridges too soon might turn out to have been a hasty decision causing unescessary misery all round.
Just another perspective."
Isn't that called having your cake and eating it ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if he tried it and discovered it wasn't for him.Burning all his bridges too soon might turn out to have been a hasty decision causing unescessary misery all round.
Just another perspective.
Isn't that called having your cake and eating it ? "
No its trying piece of cake and deciding you dont like it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if he tried it and discovered it wasn't for him.Burning all his bridges too soon might turn out to have been a hasty decision causing unescessary misery all round.
Just another perspective.
Isn't that called having your cake and eating it ?
No its trying piece of cake and deciding you dont like it. "
I remain to be convinced... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having other partners won't hurt your relationship if you're honest & open with each other & are both happy about it. Sneaking around behind your girlfriends back will hurt her & your relationship if she finds out. I speak from experience here
Ask yourself how you'd feel if you found out she'd been having sex with other people without telling you. That's your answer. "
I agree
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I think you are right. I probably do need to reassess my relationship. Although potentially breaking up with my girlfriend would hurt her, disappoint many people and create other problems; in the long run it will probably be easier.
Cheers for the helpful comment"
Is two people staying together for the sake of it ever a good thing. You'd only be selling each other short! |
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Of course cheating is wrong, it should never ever be done, but it happens because the world isnt a perfect place, so people do many things they shouldnt do.
Also its clear to see by your words that you are simply trying to justify doing it, I hope you come to the right decision and sort things out 1 way or the other with the gf, as no one deserves to be the unwilling unknowing person been cheated on.
we have all this technology in the world today yet alot of the time it still lacks communication. |
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"What if he tried it and discovered it wasn't for him.Burning all his bridges too soon might turn out to have been a hasty decision causing unescessary misery all round.
Just another perspective.
Isn't that called having your cake and eating it ? "
God I hate that saying. Why would you have a cake and not eat it. I sure as hell wouldn't have a cake and just look at it.
Whwre sis it come from I wonder |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I think you are right. I probably do need to reassess my relationship. Although potentially breaking up with my girlfriend would hurt her, disappoint many people and create other problems; in the long run it will probably be easier.
Cheers for the helpful comment"
Disappointment and hurt is all part of life. It is very clear that you are evolving. It's about being honest and open, not only with your girlfriend but most importantly, yourself. Be a man and take check. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"Yeah I think you are right. I probably do need to reassess my relationship. Although potentially breaking up with my girlfriend would hurt her, disappoint many people and create other problems; in the long run it will probably be easier.
Cheers for the helpful comment
Disappointment and hurt is all part of life. It is very clear that you are evolving. It's about being honest and open, not only with your girlfriend but most importantly, yourself. Be a man and take check. "
A pedant writes:
He is not evolving.
Many thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cheating is wrong
Because simply your getting your kicks elsewhere.... without her knowing and probably gonna be bringing back clap!
Id kick the fuck out of you if you were my fella.
Let the lass go and be with a man who respects and loves her enough to not dip his wick about! |
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"Cheating is wrong
Because simply your getting your kicks elsewhere.... without her knowing and probably gonna be bringing back clap!
Id kick the fuck out of you if you were my fella.
Let the lass go and be with a man who respects and loves her enough to not dip his wick about!"
Cheating is wrong! its only a opinion other people have.
They do not know what is going on in other peoples relationships and the reasons why!
Do all the swingers on this site who do not agree with you having sex outside your relationship tell there families
that they are having sex with other people or are they cheating them of the truth |
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"Cheating is wrong
Because simply your getting your kicks elsewhere.... without her knowing and probably gonna be bringing back clap!
Id kick the fuck out of you if you were my fella.
Let the lass go and be with a man who respects and loves her enough to not dip his wick about!
Cheating is wrong! its only a opinion other people have.
They do not know what is going on in other peoples relationships and the reasons why!
Do all the swingers on this site who do not agree with you having sex outside your relationship tell there families
that they are having sex with other people or are they cheating them of the truth "
but that is entirely different to cheating on a partner, not sure how you compare that. |
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"Cheating is wrong!
Swinging and cheating are different.
Swingers don't do things without their partners consent or knowledge.
"
But do they tell the kids that they are swingers or are they cheating them of the truth |
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If we remove the sexual element from this and just ask the question - should I purposely do something which I know would upset, hurt and negatively impact upon another persons' life. What would your answer be??
That's the question you should be asking - what the action is then becomes less important.
You would be looking at what the consequences would be for someone else as opposed to the benefits for yourself. |
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"Open question here...is cheating wrong?
I've been in a relationship for a few years now and I have been faithful for all that time. However, recently I have been wanting something different (Is this normal?). I love my girlfriend a lot but I have a major case of the wondering eye (hence why I joined here) and I am really considering cheating.
I see my relationship with my girlfriend as emotional and my need to cheat as physical. Maybe I am just justifying it to myself, but I think having other partners wouldn't hurt our relationship at all. It doesn't mean I love her any less.
Anyone with experience of this please help! "
how would you feel if she found out and finished with you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I watched a program on evolution and they discovered that the human race has survived because women cheat in substantial numbers. Of course it takes two to tango.
Testing microcondural DNA they found if everyone one was faithful, with the small tribes we had, the inter breeding would have destroyed mankind.
They have shown the woman must have sneaked over the hill to see someone from another tribe and brought his child up in her tribe.
Now, I agree, its a breech of trust to shag behind someones back. However, swinging is about sharing the fun. My partner chooses to stay out of it, but knows.
Perhaps open the discussion, see if she has ever considered mfm or mff or mmmmmmmf ... If she reacts badly ok, at least you know. If she admits interest and a soft swap to start ... Who knows, you may have all you need already.
Don't do anything behind her back. Respect her, respect everyone intact. Treat her as you would want to be treated. Realise you don't own anyone, they have choice too. Use agreement as a dialog tool.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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to me, if I had to cheat on a gf/wife..I'd question why getting a shag is more important than being with someone who trusts me.
I actually get annoyed with the sex only side of a sex site..I wouldnt like to have to hide my outgoing sexual nature..which is something most cheats cant do
I like to also be free to spend an entire day/nite/weekend with someone...the quick afternoon fuck doesnt in my opinion reflect the scene really..and at least I know I wont have to be called away or watch my back in case I'm spotted by her or a friend or a relative. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cheating is wrong!
Swinging and cheating are different.
Swingers don't do things without their partners consent or knowledge.
But do they tell the kids that they are swingers or are they cheating them of the truth "
I don't tell my kids I regular take their mother from behind while she recites Hamlet. Am I cheating them of this truth ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cheating is wrong!
Swinging and cheating are different.
Swingers don't do things without their partners consent or knowledge.
But do they tell the kids that they are swingers or are they cheating them of the truth
I don't tell my kids I regular take their mother from behind while she recites Hamlet. Am I cheating them of this truth ? "
I think you should admit its fifty shades of grey and stop pretending to be cultured |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Cheating is wrong!
Swinging and cheating are different.
Swingers don't do things without their partners consent or knowledge.
But do they tell the kids that they are swingers or are they cheating them of the truth "
Why the fuck would you, in all seriousness?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cheating is wrong!
Swinging and cheating are different.
Swingers don't do things without their partners consent or knowledge.
But do they tell the kids that they are swingers or are they cheating them of the truth
I don't tell my kids I regular take their mother from behind while she recites Hamlet. Am I cheating them of this truth ?
I think you should admit its fifty shades of grey and stop pretending to be cultured"
It could be anything to be fair, I ain't read either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This will probably sound terrible coming from a woman but its the only reasonable conclusion i can come up with cheat because, the thought of monogamy is not natural! Of all the animals on earth only 2 mate with the same partner for life and neither are human! Men cheat because monogamy is as unrealistic as marriage is to nature. No matter who you're with there will always be someone to come along and attract you in a slightly different way. Men cheat because, women will throw pussy at them all day married or not  |
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I understand that point of _iew. But if that's the case don't be in a monogamous relationship. Why lie and cheat? Make a lifestyle choice and don't harm other people through your decisions. Honesty and communication is all it takes and some courage x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cheating is wrong!
Swinging and cheating are different.
Swingers don't do things without their partners consent or knowledge.
But do they tell the kids that they are swingers or are they cheating them of the truth "
I doubt many tell the kids mommy fucked the guy from the takeaway while daddy watched and its ok, if that's what you are on about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No she doesn't know. I doubt she would be too impressed if she found out. She's not a prude, but she isn't far off being one. I think that if this continues, I might have to subtly mention something, but I'd just have to test the water first."
Talk to her x itll spice things up if she's bored too x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cheating is wrong!
Swinging and cheating are different.
Swingers don't do things without their partners consent or knowledge.
But do they tell the kids that they are swingers or are they cheating them of the truth "
Nonsense
Do you discuss your sex life with your kids?
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By *oxoxoWoman
over a year ago
london |
OP - i have had a look at your profile and a few things occured to me:-
Your profile does not indicate that you are in a relationship- not judging but that would be something I would want to know.
You also indicate that youare Bi curious - I wonder if this is where your dilemma stems from - again..not judging.
And finally if you are asking this question then I suspect you already know the answer.
Be true to yourself and treat others how you would like to be treated…._oxoxo
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"Be a man,stop trying to justify your needs to have sex with other women and tell her you are feeling like this so she has the chance to tell you to either fuck off or try and work things out with you to bring the lust back "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Open question here...is cheating wrong?
I've been in a relationship for a few years now and I have been faithful for all that time. However, recently I have been wanting something different (Is this normal?). I love my girlfriend a lot but I have a major case of the wondering eye (hence why I joined here) and I am really considering cheating.
I see my relationship with my girlfriend as emotional and my need to cheat as physical. Maybe I am just justifying it to myself, but I think having other partners wouldn't hurt our relationship at all. It doesn't mean I love her any less.
Anyone with experience of this please help! "
Yes cheating is wrong. I also think it is cruel. How would you feel OP if you found your girlfriend had a profile on here and had been meeting men? I don't see how you can say you both love your girlfriend but are looking to cheat on her. |
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"Cheating is wrong!
Swinging and cheating are different.
Swingers don't do things without their partners consent or knowledge.
But do they tell the kids that they are swingers or are they cheating them of the truth "
are you serious with this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Do all the swingers on this site who do not agree with you having sex outside your relationship tell there families
that they are having sex with other people or are they cheating them of the truth "
As lots of others have said; this is a ridiculous thing to say. How can you try to draw comparison between betraying a partner who you are supposed to be in a monogamous relationship with to telling your children about your not so conventional sex life?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just man up and tell her. If your looking for people on this site to be sympathetic to cheating your wrong. If people choose to cheat that's there decision but don't pull other people into it. You say you love her if you loved her you wouldn't be here end of.
Get someone to kick you in the nuts because the amount of pain you'll feel is nothing to what she will feel if she finds out your on here.
And to be honest you seem a very questionable person if you weren't 100% happy with the relationship, physically and mentally then why did you buy a place to live with her? |
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