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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Old guy sitting in the corner of a pub ranting out loud
"I've ploughed every field in the God damned valley, when walk in here and get a pint, what do hear em all say"?
"ah there's auld jimmy the farm hand"?
"do you hell"
"I've thatched and repaired every single cottage in this valley, when I walk in here here, what do you lots say"?
"ah there's auld jimmy the thatcher"?
"not on yir life yi don't"
"every single dry stane dyke in.this whole bleeding county would be falling apart if it wasn't for, and I walk in here of an evening to get a pint a seat and a packet of crisps, what are yi all saying"
"ah jimmy, he's a marvelous dry stane waller"
"do you fuck!!!!!"
"You shag one fucking sheep........" |
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Go to the doctors to have an examination of my testicles the other day.
As the doctor is examining them he says
"Don't worry.its perfectly natural to get an erection at a time like this"
"I haven't got one " I say shocked.
" no, but I have " he says
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Woman goes home distraught in tears. Husband asks what's up
Woman says all choked up through sniffles and tears "I was at the docs for a general check up and he told me I had a nice fanny"
Husband goes to the docs raging, gets in to see the doc and says
"My wife is at home in tears, she came here for a general check up and you, you bloody pervert tell her she's got a nice fanny!!! I'll kill you you bastard"
Doc says "Mr Smith there's been a misunderstanding, your wife has acute angina" |
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