FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Ladies, if you ask a man to be BRUTALLY honest...
Ladies, if you ask a man to be BRUTALLY honest...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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...is that really what you want to hear?
I mean, to male ears, when a woman asks him to just tell it like it is, you know, like should you lose some weight?/ how good do you look really?/do I genuinely find you interesting as a person? - do you actually want to hear what he REALLY thinks, the absolute truth, or is it actually some sort of test, to see if he's in tune with you enough that even when asked for it, he will put aside his true opinion in order to consider your feelings?
No, this isn't meant to sound patronising, I know women aren't made of candy floss, but sometimes it just seems like one of those taboo areas where communication breaks down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If u like having 2 balls, then absolutely not! U bite ur tongue. Deep down we know our flaws, when we ask u to be honest we don't mean it! Lol. This is where u swoop in with compliements- and everyone wins! X   |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I know its a cliché that women don't want to hear the truth but sometimes we do. Like; how much was that random piece of metal/guitar/bag of golf bats? Where were you last night? And so on.
Seriously though, if I ask for the truth from anyone, that's what I expect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My ex husband used to point out my flaws, just to be helpful as he wanted me to be happy and a better person."
Surprised to hear Ex. He sounds like a keeper! Haha. I'd hate if someone was to point out my flaws! I know myself what they are I don't need anyone to tell me x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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See, of i ask him to be honest then that's exactly what i want. I'm brutally honest with men, i expect the same in return.
I once asked and ex before going out how the top i was wearing looked on me because i had misgivings. He hesitated in answering because he'd experienced other women who didn't want the truth when asked such questions. I rolled my eyes at him and said 'honestly, i need to know if this looks good or makes me look like a wedding cake' he answered, then.... Hesitantly but honestly... That there was a mild cake effect going on. I smiled, changed, and we went out. He was shocked. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My ex husband used to point out my flaws, just to be helpful as he wanted me to be happy and a better person.
I had an ex boyfriend like that too!!"
I'm hearing the word 'ex' a lot here... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Seriously though, if I ask for the truth from anyone, that's what I expect."
Thank you!!!
Finally a woman who understands that us men will respond to the information we are given and not some stupid messed up mind game rubbish!
Ask me a question and you'll get an answer.
If you don't think you'll like the answer, then don't ask the question.
Simples!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest i would never ask a man such questions, i know myself if i need to loose weight or if a certain item of clothing makes my arse look big  i don't need a mans opinion |
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"To be honest i would never ask a man such questions, i know myself if i need to loose weight or if a certain item of clothing makes my arse look big i don't need a mans opinion "
Of course, it's ridiculously patronising, though a lot of women do angle for compliments all the time I guess. I expect the same as I try to give - 100% truth, but delivered with tact and kindness. It's the tact men need to learn!!
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
If I ask I want to know. If it comes unbidden then it really depends on my mood/psyche at that time.
A lovely male friend told me that you can never ask a man for the brutal honest truth about clothes, hair, weight and many other things as any experienced male knows to answer without hesitation and in a complimentary way.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"See, of i ask him to be honest then that's exactly what i want. I'm brutally honest with men, i expect the same in return.
I once asked and ex before going out how the top i was wearing looked on me because i had misgivings. He hesitated in answering because he'd experienced other women who didn't want the truth when asked such questions. I rolled my eyes at him and said 'honestly, i need to know if this looks good or makes me look like a wedding cake' he answered, then.... Hesitantly but honestly... That there was a mild cake effect going on. I smiled, changed, and we went out. He was shocked. "
If I ask for honesty I want honesty, not bullshit. I'm an adult... not a princess that can't handle criticism.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would want honesty... Although there are ways of delivering it sometimes! Positive criticism works better for me, but I know that isn't always possible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a guy ever told a women to lose weight or there was something wrong then he is a prick. No more and no less. By telling a women or a women telling a man then whilst your being honest your really hurting their feelings and that's ok if your friends but in a relationship you know it cuts deep. It's upto the obeast women or man to decide, not to be told by the person they love and expect them to love them for them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a guy ever told a women to lose weight or there was something wrong then he is a prick. No more and no less. By telling a women or a women telling a man then whilst your being honest your really hurting their feelings and that's ok if your friends but in a relationship you know it cuts deep. It's upto the obeast women or man to decide, not to be told by the person they love and expect them to love them for them."
So if a woman asks Her man and he lies hes not a prick ? Yes love those Hot Pants really suit your 52 inch arse and your friends will all be envious of you when you step on the dance floor 
Archie Gimp  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't ask the question if you don't want to hear the answer.
If I ask for a second opinion than I'd like to be told the truth but I know some woman don't and that can cause conflict. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had to laugh at this thread as some guys get so churlish and sulky if you are honest with them and that is only saying they lack spark, intrigue and you feel there is zero chemistry. I think its some guys who can't handle a honest reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a guy ever told a women to lose weight or there was something wrong then he is a prick. No more and no less. By telling a women or a women telling a man then whilst your being honest your really hurting their feelings and that's ok if your friends but in a relationship you know it cuts deep. It's upto the obeast women or man to decide, not to be told by the person they love and expect them to love them for them.
So if a woman asks Her man and he lies hes not a prick ? Yes love those Hot Pants really suit your 52 inch arse and your friends will all be envious of you when you step on the dance floor
Archie Gimp "
No you have valid point but for me I'd like if my partner was happy I'd be happy |
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"If I ask I want to know. If it comes unbidden then it really depends on my mood/psyche at that time.
A lovely male friend told me that you can never ask a man for the brutal honest truth about clothes, hair, weight and many other things as any experienced male knows to answer without hesitation and in a complimentary way.
"
They all straight men? Some poofs are helpful  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If u like having 2 balls, then absolutely not! U bite ur tongue. Deep down we know our flaws, when we ask u to be honest we don't mean it! Lol. This is where u swoop in with compliements- and everyone wins! X "
Spot on. We ask....tell you we want an honest answer BUT if you don't give us the answer we want to hear wo be tide you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If u like having 2 balls, then absolutely not! U bite ur tongue. Deep down we know our flaws, when we ask u to be honest we don't mean it! Lol. This is where u swoop in with compliements- and everyone wins! X
Spot on. We ask....tell you we want an honest answer BUT if you don't give us the answer we want to hear wo be tide you "
Fucking hate women sometimes, so clever it's unreal. They are like 2 steps in front of men 24.7.lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had to laugh at this thread as some guys get so churlish and sulky if you are honest with them and that is only saying they lack spark, intrigue and you feel there is zero chemistry. I think its some guys who can't handle a honest reply. "
And women dont ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Complete and total honesty, always.
I used to say to my ex bf, I don't care if you tell me you fucked someone else, you think I look rough or you split the coffee on my laptop, just tell me the truth. I always respect and admire the balls to tell it how it is. |
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I appreciate honesty, but do not appreciate someone who has no regard for my feelings. There are many ways to say something that is honest but not cruel and likely to cut into someone. Knowing someone well means you know their weak spots, what probably will hurt them. You can be honest without being brutal. The use of the word brutal alongside honest sounds like someone is trying to add a get out of jail free card to fuck someone up a bit, under the guise of honesty. Many thoughts and opinions are better kept to oneself or tailored to the audience. |
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If I asked someone to be "brutally" honest then I would want honesty. I would never ask for that of course.
On the rare occasion I ask the other half his opinion on my appearance it's because he rarely gives compliments to me and I'm feeling insecure. |
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I expect the same.
I'd never ask if my bum looks big in anything though! 
