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daughters in male changing rooms
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Twice now on visits to my gym I have come across men taking their daughters into the changing rooms. Has anyone found this? Its common practice abroad I know but not in UK and not where everyone else in there is male. If they were small I can see safety aspect but these were I believe 11 and 12, one German and one Norwegian I believe. Comments???? |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
Maybe their dads did not want to leave them unattended in a strange place if they are not local?
Maybe the dad feels he'd rather keep an eye on them, and in a place where he can see what happens.
My son is 5 and comes into the ladies changing and ladies loos with me when we are out. Safety first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Twice now on visits to my gym I have come across men taking their daughters into the changing rooms. Has anyone found this? Its common practice abroad I know but not in UK and not where everyone else in there is male. If they were small I can see safety aspect but these were I believe 11 and 12, one German and one Norwegian I believe. Comments???? "
It may be down to the cultural _iew of nudity in Germany or Norway. It may also be down to fears for safety changing rooms and public restroom facilities are where many children are snatched, according to family of mine that are in law enforcement, and 11 or 12 is not old enough to be excluded from that threat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What a bizzare thing to post...  If it was my daughter.. I'm there to protect her, I'm with her.. why would it be an issue? There is very sick men out there but whilst I was with my daughter I wouldn't be bothered as I'm her protector guardian and she is within my reach. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But noone batters an eyelid if boys are in the ladies. I would rather keep my children were I can see them.
And you point out its common abroad and that these children were not local so maybe they are not aware it is not common practice in this country |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"My gym has a sign stating that this isn't allowed. Can't remember the age limit but it's a lot less than 11 or 12, potentially half that."
Wow, really? So they expect 6 year olds to go in the right changing rooms alone?
Not a chance would I allow my son to do that, and as a single mum, I don't have a male with us everywhere to accompany him.
The policy at the gym I go to is no unaccompanied minors in the opposite sex changing room. |
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"My gym has a sign stating that this isn't allowed. Can't remember the age limit but it's a lot less than 11 or 12, potentially half that."
That's shocking. I'd go to a different gym. Effectively they're making it okay that Dad's can't take their kids swimming. That's not cool with me.
Putting aside the safety issue for a moment, every child should learn to swim. It's a basic survival issue if they get into trouble at any point near water throughout their lives. To teach your children to swim is a basic responsibility for a parent. To hinder that right for both child and parent is a disgrace.
You wouldn't leave a child of 11 or 12 at home alone where they're relatively safe. Why on earth would you leave them alone, naked and vulnerable in a public place? I've never heard anything so ludicrous in my life.
Which gym are you with? I'm actually outraged enough to complain! 
This has also made me think of something else too but I'll come back in another thread with it rather than hijack this one.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My gym has a sign stating that this isn't allowed. Can't remember the age limit but it's a lot less than 11 or 12, potentially half that.
That's shocking. I'd go to a different gym. Effectively they're making it okay that Dad's can't take their kids swimming. That's not cool with me.
Putting aside the safety issue for a moment, every child should learn to swim. It's a basic survival issue if they get into trouble at any point near water throughout their lives. To teach your children to swim is a basic responsibility for a parent. To hinder that right for both child and parent is a disgrace.
You wouldn't leave a child of 11 or 12 at home alone where they're relatively safe. Why on earth would you leave them alone, naked and vulnerable in a public place? I've never heard anything so ludicrous in my life.
Which gym are you with? I'm actually outraged enough to complain!
This has also made me think of something else too but I'll come back in another thread with it rather than hijack this one. "
It's a gym not a swimming pool.
And there are no cubicles just one large changing room which I assume is the reason. I personally wouldn;t want to be naked around a near teenager of the opposite sex.
To be honest the gym (as in mine, not all) is not child friendly and doesn;t sell itself in that way if I had kids there'd be better gyms in my town I'd go to. |
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"To be honest - I think if it bothers people then we have let a tiny minority of weirdos win.
Its just a naked person, who cares, its hardly sexual is it?"
But unfortunately for some sicko weird people out there...it IS sexual. It must be very difficult nowadays for parents with young children. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't see a problem with this, I have done it with my girls when they were growing up, if my wife was with me they went with her if she wasn't they went with me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Could they not got ready at home before they went and showered and changed at home after I can understand there dad wanting them safe that goes with out saying . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Could they not got ready at home before they went and showered and changed at home after I can understand there dad wanting them safe that goes with out saying . "
why would they?? |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"To be honest - I think if it bothers people then we have let a tiny minority of weirdos win.
Its just a naked person, who cares, its hardly sexual is it?
But unfortunately for some sicko weird people out there...it IS sexual. It must be very difficult nowadays for parents with young children."
I am one of those people and I refuse to let the actions of a few sickos impinge on my life, or the life of my kid. The way I see it, is if some weirdo gets kicks out of that, its their problem, and no harm will come to my little one whilst I'm there (that and the fact that most abusers choose to abuse family/close friends), means that If I was worried, statistically I should be looking closer to home. |
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"My gym has a sign stating that this isn't allowed. Can't remember the age limit but it's a lot less than 11 or 12, potentially half that.
That's shocking. I'd go to a different gym. Effectively they're making it okay that Dad's can't take their kids swimming. That's not cool with me.
Putting aside the safety issue for a moment, every child should learn to swim. It's a basic survival issue if they get into trouble at any point near water throughout their lives. To teach your children to swim is a basic responsibility for a parent. To hinder that right for both child and parent is a disgrace.
You wouldn't leave a child of 11 or 12 at home alone where they're relatively safe. Why on earth would you leave them alone, naked and vulnerable in a public place? I've never heard anything so ludicrous in my life.
Which gym are you with? I'm actually outraged enough to complain!
This has also made me think of something else too but I'll come back in another thread with it rather than hijack this one.
It's a gym not a swimming pool.
And there are no cubicles just one large changing room which I assume is the reason. I personally wouldn;t want to be naked around a near teenager of the opposite sex.
To be honest the gym (as in mine, not all) is not child friendly and doesn;t sell itself in that way if I had kids there'd be better gyms in my town I'd go to. "
As soon as I posted I had that thought, my gym has a swimming pool so I just assumed. Sorry about that. I totally stand by my slightly off topic rant in that kids should learn to swim and be safe though. 
They totally should and I don't really give a monkies who sees me naked. When it's appropriate, of course, rather than wandering up the High Street in the buff. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My daughters came on the mens changing room at the swimming pool till they were 3 and 7 then they merged them and made it all lockers so doesnt matter now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe their dads did not want to leave them unattended in a strange place if they are not local?
Maybe the dad feels he'd rather keep an eye on them, and in a place where he can see what happens.
My son is 5 and comes into the ladies changing and ladies loos with me when we are out. Safety first."
at 11 and 12 if a dad has noone to watch his daughter i think it would be more appropriate to skip the gym rather than take them in a room where men will be naked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seeing as people cant use the gym under 16 why are they taking them in the first place, what are they doing with their kids while they work out? I find it odd people would take a child to the gym with them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My gym has a sign stating that this isn't allowed. Can't remember the age limit but it's a lot less than 11 or 12, potentially half that.
Wow, really? So they expect 6 year olds to go in the right changing rooms alone?
Not a chance would I allow my son to do that, and as a single mum, I don't have a male with us everywhere to accompany him.
The policy at the gym I go to is no unaccompanied minors in the opposite sex changing room. "
My son also comes to the ladies toilets and changing rooms with me too. It is very difficult when you are a single parent with a child of the opposite sex. Whilst I hate to think that every man is a possible paeodophile, I'm just not prepared to take the risk! |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
My gym does kids classes that he can go to while I use the gym, so sometimes we do need to be in the changing room together.
Our gym only has 2 large rooms as changing areas, so we have no choice.
In other european countries, they do not have the fear/prudishness we have about nakedness, and it is more open and relaxed.
And there are some things its safe for under 16s to use in the gym - it depends if its all weights or a mixture of equipment. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"Maybe their dads did not want to leave them unattended in a strange place if they are not local?
Maybe the dad feels he'd rather keep an eye on them, and in a place where he can see what happens.
My son is 5 and comes into the ladies changing and ladies loos with me when we are out. Safety first.
at 11 and 12 if a dad has noone to watch his daughter i think it would be more appropriate to skip the gym rather than take them in a room where men will be naked"
Why? Its just a body...whats wrong with that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Could they not got ready at home before they went and showered and changed at home after I can understand there dad wanting them safe that goes with out saying . "
So they need to go home in their wet swimming wear in the freezing cold? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whilst I agree (non-sexual) nudity shouldn't offend or be a problem, I must admit I'm quite surprised at the blasé attitude of many on here to this.
11 & 12 year old girls in an open environment where naked male strangers are walking around?
This isn't a swimming pool it's a gym, with testosterone pumped men.
I don't think I'd be comfortable with girls of that age being exposed like that.
Whilst I can of course appreciate parents wanting to ensure their offspring are safe and within eyeshot, you can never be sure what the intentions of strangers might be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Twice now on visits to my gym I have come across men taking their daughters into the changing rooms. Has anyone found this? Its common practice abroad I know but not in UK and not where everyone else in there is male. If they were small I can see safety aspect but these were I believe 11 and 12, one German and one Norwegian I believe. Comments???? "
I can see your point I wouldn't be comfortable someone bringing a 12 yr old male into the female changing rooms. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe their dads did not want to leave them unattended in a strange place if they are not local?
Maybe the dad feels he'd rather keep an eye on them, and in a place where he can see what happens.
My son is 5 and comes into the ladies changing and ladies loos with me when we are out. Safety first.
at 11 and 12 if a dad has noone to watch his daughter i think it would be more appropriate to skip the gym rather than take them in a room where men will be naked
Why? Its just a body...whats wrong with that?"
if you went to the gym and there was a couple of girls in there around 12 years old would you get naked infront of them, would having girls that age looking at you not bother you?
if i was in a changing room with lads that age in it would make me feel uncomfortable and i would not get naked infront of them
tell me honestly that pre teen lads in a female changing room wouldn't be perving  |
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By *nnyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"......
In other european countries, they do not have the fear/prudishness we have about nakedness, and it is more open and relaxed.
......... "
That's so true. Visit the beach at Cap d'Agde and you see there's plenty of family groups - Mum, Dad and the weans of all ages with not a stitch on.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What a bizzare thing to post... If it was my daughter.. I'm there to protect her, I'm with her.. why would it be an issue? There is very sick men out there but whilst I was with my daughter I wouldn't be bothered as I'm her protector guardian and she is within my reach. "
So it would ne ok for her to see 4 or 5 men naked. Thats very odd. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seeing as people cant use the gym under 16 why are they taking them in the first place, what are they doing with their kids while they work out? I find it odd people would take a child to the gym with them"
Standing about, talking to their parent, not being abandoned at home unattended?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe their dads did not want to leave them unattended in a strange place if they are not local?
Maybe the dad feels he'd rather keep an eye on them, and in a place where he can see what happens.
My son is 5 and comes into the ladies changing and ladies loos with me when we are out. Safety first.
at 11 and 12 if a dad has noone to watch his daughter i think it would be more appropriate to skip the gym rather than take them in a room where men will be naked
Why? Its just a body...whats wrong with that?
if you went to the gym and there was a couple of girls in there around 12 years old would you get naked infront of them, would having girls that age looking at you not bother you?
if i was in a changing room with lads that age in it would make me feel uncomfortable and i would not get naked infront of them
tell me honestly that pre teen lads in a female changing room wouldn't be perving "
I doubt a 12 year old girl would be doing much other than staring resolutely at the wall avoiding the copious amounts of sagging old man sack swinging around tbh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What's interesting is people have a problem with the children being around men being naked in a changing room.
What are you thinking will happen? A man is naked therefore more likely to sexually attack your child, as if the difficulty of undoing his flies is what stops him being a rapist in day to day life.
Or that your child when in the proximity of naked men changing at the gym will sexually assault the men!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get the whole, its just a body thing..really...but our society has sexualized almost everything..as we know, sex sells.
girls and boys arent the merely curious types they may have been many years ago..they have been increasingly exposed to sexual media.
So to think that a pre-teen isnt interested in sex, I'm sorry but whoever thinks that really needs to understand the way society has changed.Its been hard to control, thats why we have been trying everything to protect children from potential dangers, from themselves and of course those who may prey upon them.
And to perfectly fair, I would complain at an underage child(male or female) in a changing room..and in fact, I'm one of those people who doesnt like sharing my naked time with people I'm not sexually interested in(ie communal male changing rooms/showers)...obviously I'm not a shy person(being quite overt with my swinginglifestyle). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What did you do at the weekend.
"I went to the gym with my father, who made sure to keep , me in sight at all times nd not leave me unsupervised"
The bastard! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What did you do at the weekend.
"I went to the gym with my father, who made sure to keep , me in sight at all times nd not leave me unsupervised"
The bastard! "
perhaps he could have cancelled the gym, or not needed to enter the changing rooms knowing it is an unsuitable place for a child...just this one time... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Who takes kids to a gym?!
Unless it's because there's a swimming pool, and then it's no big deal because it's more acceptable at a swimming pool change room to have youngsters in there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who takes kids to a gym?!
Unless it's because there's a swimming pool, and then it's no big deal because it's more acceptable at a swimming pool change room to have youngsters in there."
Why?
So you issue is not with children being at the changing room but instead where the changi b room is |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What did you do at the weekend.
"I went to the gym with my father, who made sure to keep , me in sight at all times nd not leave me unsupervised"
The bastard!
perhaps he could have cancelled the gym, or not needed to enter the changing rooms knowing it is an unsuitable place for a child...just this one time..."
because maybe he was there to do something with his kid? Squash basket ball badminton tennis etc? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who takes kids to a gym?!
Unless it's because there's a swimming pool, and then it's no big deal because it's more acceptable at a swimming pool change room to have youngsters in there.
Why?
So you issue is not with children being at the changing room but instead where the changi b room is"
Nah, I wouldn't have a problem either way to he honest, just it's more common to see kids at the swimming pool than it is at the gym. So my point was it's the same at either place.
Just I've never seen a kid at the gym. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having read this entire thread, I cannot help but think that the problem could well lie with the parents' over protection & prudishness.
I mean, how do kids possibly cope with nudity on beaches worldwide?
I think there's a phobia for nudity despite it being the most natural thing in the world!
Strange. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I went on holiday in this country recently and this happened to us. I was in the communal changing room with my two young girls aged 7 & 9 and there was a boy of about 12 in there with his mum who had been swimming. I didn't like it one bit. He was right by us. He was dressed and not wet and was looking about. One of my girls is starting to develop and I felt very embarrassed for her. I was also uncomfortable myself. There was a small room just outside the changing room yet still in the ladies section where he could have stood.
My husband came out of his changing room and the first thing he said was that a young of about ten was in his and he was very uncomfortable on her behalf.
I don't see the problem in letting somebody over the age of about seven get changed on their own, in a changing room. You would be right outside the door so nobody can take them. It's a busy changing room....what's going too happen. Let's be sensible. |
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"My gym has a sign stating that this isn't allowed. Can't remember the age limit but it's a lot less than 11 or 12, potentially half that.
That's shocking. I'd go to a different gym. Effectively they're making it okay that Dad's can't take their kids swimming. That's not cool with me.
Putting aside the safety issue for a moment, every child should learn to swim. It's a basic survival issue if they get into trouble at any point near water throughout their lives. To teach your children to swim is a basic responsibility for a parent. To hinder that right for both child and parent is a disgrace.
You wouldn't leave a child of 11 or 12 at home alone where they're relatively safe. Why on earth would you leave them alone, naked and vulnerable in a public place? I've never heard anything so ludicrous in my life.
Which gym are you with? I'm actually outraged enough to complain!
This has also made me think of something else too but I'll come back in another thread with it rather than hijack this one.
It's a gym not a swimming pool.
And there are no cubicles just one large changing room which I assume is the reason. I personally wouldn;t want to be naked around a near teenager of the opposite sex.
To be honest the gym (as in mine, not all) is not child friendly and doesn;t sell itself in that way if I had kids there'd be better gyms in my town I'd go to. "
technically, if the gym doesnt state that children arent allowed to use it then they are breaking rules and regulations by putting up a sign saying minors cant use the opposite changing rooms if accompanied by an adult. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP, why were you disturbed by this?
I personally would not have a problem if another father felt it appropriate to do and would do it if it was the best alternative available to me at the time."
I agree too as very uncomfortable undressing in front of that age but if there were cubicles it wouldn't be such a problem |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I would not get dressed or undressed in a communal changing room if there was a child of the opposite sex there. For no other reason than I would be uncomfortable to do so, I wouldn't create a drama, I would just wait until they had left.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went on holiday in this country recently and this happened to us. I was in the communal changing room with my two young girls aged 7 & 9 and there was a boy of about 12 in there with his mum who had been swimming. I didn't like it one bit. He was right by us. He was dressed and not wet and was looking about. One of my girls is starting to develop and I felt very embarrassed for her. I was also uncomfortable myself. There was a small room just outside the changing room yet still in the ladies section where he could have stood.
My husband came out of his changing room and the first thing he said was that a young of about ten was in his and he was very uncomfortable on her behalf.
I don't see the problem in letting somebody over the age of about seven get changed on their own, in a changing room. You would be right outside the door so nobody can take them. It's a busy changing room....what's going too happen. Let's be sensible."
Let's be sensible.
It's very common for pedophiles to cooperate with police for training purposes once they've been tried and incarcerated. They often talk extremely candidly about their methods and motivations. More than a few of these predators have operated by waiting, for hours if necessary, in a public toilet or changing room for a child to come in unaccompanied at a time when things were also quiet. Within minutes, and before the parents even become concerned, the crimes have been committed and the perpetrator walks out of the door, straight past the parents.
I'm sorry but my child's safety trumps anyone's discomfort. Straight up. End of discussion. It's well and good saying 'statistically, look closer to home' or ' i will be right there so nothing will happen to mine' or even 'i won't let them scare me or my children' but the reality is a predator is a predator and they find a way to predate. An adult on the other side of a wall isn't a deterrant. 'it made me/would make me uncomfortable' is playing right into the hands of them. |
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To me it seems like making a mountain out of a mole hill.
Don't like being naked in front of an 11 year old - don't get naked - wait until they have gone.
To be honest at 11 or 12 a young person should be more than capable of managing a single sex changing room on their own so I would have expected those girls to use the female changing room.
The more we as adults sexualise every incident of nudity and make it an issue or flag it as dangerous the less comfortable and more of a taboo it becomes for young people and the less they will communicate when they need to look for advice or raise a concern.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't think an 11/12 year old would want to go into the opposite sexes changing rooms anyway ~ I know my son didn't at that age & my daughter isn't keen and she's 8.
With my son at the pool he used to get changed in the men's changing room whilst I waited outside if there wasn't a communal family one available.
My daughter's swimming lessons are held within a high school & their policy is no over 8's in the opposite sexes changing rooms.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What did you do at the weekend.
"I went to the gym with my father, who made sure to keep , me in sight at all times nd not leave me unsupervised"
The bastard!
perhaps he could have cancelled the gym, or not needed to enter the changing rooms knowing it is an unsuitable place for a child...just this one time..."
i agree
why don't we just have mixed changing rooms everywhere?
because some people don't want to get naked infront of members of the opposite sex, what about showing respect for those people, not all women will want to get naked infront men, not all men will want to get naked infront of kids
so if i go to the gym and there is a male in the female changing rooms or a guy finds a young girl in the men's its just tuff shit? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went on holiday in this country recently and this happened to us. I was in the communal changing room with my two young girls aged 7 & 9 and there was a boy of about 12 in there with his mum who had been swimming. I didn't like it one bit. He was right by us. He was dressed and not wet and was looking about. One of my girls is starting to develop and I felt very embarrassed for her. I was also uncomfortable myself. There was a small room just outside the changing room yet still in the ladies section where he could have stood.
My husband came out of his changing room and the first thing he said was that a young of about ten was in his and he was very uncomfortable on her behalf.
I don't see the problem in letting somebody over the age of about seven get changed on their own, in a changing room. You would be right outside the door so nobody can take them. It's a busy changing room....what's going too happen. Let's be sensible.
Let's be sensible.
It's very common for pedophiles to cooperate with police for training purposes once they've been tried and incarcerated. They often talk extremely candidly about their methods and motivations. More than a few of these predators have operated by waiting, for hours if necessary, in a public toilet or changing room for a child to come in unaccompanied at a time when things were also quiet. Within minutes, and before the parents even become concerned, the crimes have been committed and the perpetrator walks out of the door, straight past the parents.
I'm sorry but my child's safety trumps anyone's discomfort. Straight up. End of discussion. It's well and good saying 'statistically, look closer to home' or ' i will be right there so nothing will happen to mine' or even 'i won't let them scare me or my children' but the reality is a predator is a predator and they find a way to predate. An adult on the other side of a wall isn't a deterrant. 'it made me/would make me uncomfortable' is playing right into the hands of them. "
hi. I think from about seven onwards they could cope with getting dressed on their own. What age do you think they can cope with getting dressed on their own, with mum or dad right outside. Also, I did say a "busy" changing room. And if there was nobody in there, then I would be on red alert. If another adult went in. I would probably intervene.
And who is to say things won't happen while you are there. You didn't say but I presume you are on about photos.
I also, like you, value my childs safety above anything else. I am not complacent by any means. But I could not wrap my child in cotton wool like that. At some point they have to enter the big wide scary world. So better that they have a bit of freedom while I am right outside the door.
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I believe the policy at my local sports centre is over 8s go in their own sex changing room. The changing rooms are used for the gym facilities and the pool.
A lot of the other pools in the area have been renovated recently and they all now have unisex changing rooms, which I assume our new sports centre will when it opens next year.
As well as communal changing areas there are proper solid cubicles with doors that lock instead of a curtain that doesn't meet at either end. They even have some shower cubicles with lockable doors.
As others have said I would probably feel uncomfortable if a boy of 11 or 12 was in the women's changing room and I can't imagine going in a male changing room at that age. Then again when I was that age I'd go swimming on my own or with a school friend and no one batted an eyelid about girls being in the changing room on their own.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went on holiday in this country recently and this happened to us. I was in the communal changing room with my two young girls aged 7 & 9 and there was a boy of about 12 in there with his mum who had been swimming. I didn't like it one bit. He was right by us. He was dressed and not wet and was looking about. One of my girls is starting to develop and I felt very embarrassed for her. I was also uncomfortable myself. There was a small room just outside the changing room yet still in the ladies section where he could have stood.
My husband came out of his changing room and the first thing he said was that a young of about ten was in his and he was very uncomfortable on her behalf.
I don't see the problem in letting somebody over the age of about seven get changed on their own, in a changing room. You would be right outside the door so nobody can take them. It's a busy changing room....what's going too happen. Let's be sensible.
Let's be sensible.
It's very common for pedophiles to cooperate with police for training purposes once they've been tried and incarcerated. They often talk extremely candidly about their methods and motivations. More than a few of these predators have operated by waiting, for hours if necessary, in a public toilet or changing room for a child to come in unaccompanied at a time when things were also quiet. Within minutes, and before the parents even become concerned, the crimes have been committed and the perpetrator walks out of the door, straight past the parents.
I'm sorry but my child's safety trumps anyone's discomfort. Straight up. End of discussion. It's well and good saying 'statistically, look closer to home' or ' i will be right there so nothing will happen to mine' or even 'i won't let them scare me or my children' but the reality is a predator is a predator and they find a way to predate. An adult on the other side of a wall isn't a deterrant. 'it made me/would make me uncomfortable' is playing right into the hands of them.
hi. I think from about seven onwards they could cope with getting dressed on their own. What age do you think they can cope with getting dressed on their own, with mum or dad right outside. Also, I did say a "busy" changing room. And if there was nobody in there, then I would be on red alert. If another adult went in. I would probably intervene.
And who is to say things won't happen while you are there. You didn't say but I presume you are on about photos.
I also, like you, value my childs safety above anything else. I am not complacent by any means. But I could not wrap my child in cotton wool like that. At some point they have to enter the big wide scary world. So better that they have a bit of freedom while I am right outside the door.
"
No, photos isn't what i was talking about at all.
You are welcome to raise your children as your conscience leads, however others feel differently And with reason.
Personally, as my son has special needs he will not be left unsupervised unless and until he progresses considerably more, respective of his chronological age or how comfortable others are with my decision. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went on holiday in this country recently and this happened to us. I was in the communal changing room with my two young girls aged 7 & 9 and there was a boy of about 12 in there with his mum who had been swimming. I didn't like it one bit. He was right by us. He was dressed and not wet and was looking about. One of my girls is starting to develop and I felt very embarrassed for her. I was also uncomfortable myself. There was a small room just outside the changing room yet still in the ladies section where he could have stood.
My husband came out of his changing room and the first thing he said was that a young of about ten was in his and he was very uncomfortable on her behalf.
I don't see the problem in letting somebody over the age of about seven get changed on their own, in a changing room. You would be right outside the door so nobody can take them. It's a busy changing room....what's going too happen. Let's be sensible.
Let's be sensible.
It's very common for pedophiles to cooperate with police for training purposes once they've been tried and incarcerated. They often talk extremely candidly about their methods and motivations. More than a few of these predators have operated by waiting, for hours if necessary, in a public toilet or changing room for a child to come in unaccompanied at a time when things were also quiet. Within minutes, and before the parents even become concerned, the crimes have been committed and the perpetrator walks out of the door, straight past the parents.
I'm sorry but my child's safety trumps anyone's discomfort. Straight up. End of discussion. It's well and good saying 'statistically, look closer to home' or ' i will be right there so nothing will happen to mine' or even 'i won't let them scare me or my children' but the reality is a predator is a predator and they find a way to predate. An adult on the other side of a wall isn't a deterrant. 'it made me/would make me uncomfortable' is playing right into the hands of them.
hi. I think from about seven onwards they could cope with getting dressed on their own. What age do you think they can cope with getting dressed on their own, with mum or dad right outside. Also, I did say a "busy" changing room. And if there was nobody in there, then I would be on red alert. If another adult went in. I would probably intervene.
And who is to say things won't happen while you are there. You didn't say but I presume you are on about photos.
I also, like you, value my childs safety above anything else. I am not complacent by any means. But I could not wrap my child in cotton wool like that. At some point they have to enter the big wide scary world. So better that they have a bit of freedom while I am right outside the door.
No, photos isn't what i was talking about at all.
You are welcome to raise your children as your conscience leads, however others feel differently And with reason.
Personally, as my son has special needs he will not be left unsupervised unless and until he progresses considerably more, respective of his chronological age or how comfortable others are with my decision. "
That's different then. My daughter is statemented too, as she has autism. But I know she would ok on her own. In fact, for the first time ever she is being dropped off at the pool next weekend with her friend (they are both nine) where I will leave them too have a swim and meet them at a set time outside afterwards. I don't know if my nerves will cope but she is desperate for some independence bless her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went on holiday in this country recently and this happened to us. I was in the communal changing room with my two young girls aged 7 & 9 and there was a boy of about 12 in there with his mum who had been swimming. I didn't like it one bit. He was right by us. He was dressed and not wet and was looking about. One of my girls is starting to develop and I felt very embarrassed for her. I was also uncomfortable myself. There was a small room just outside the changing room yet still in the ladies section where he could have stood.
My husband came out of his changing room and the first thing he said was that a young of about ten was in his and he was very uncomfortable on her behalf.
I don't see the problem in letting somebody over the age of about seven get changed on their own, in a changing room. You would be right outside the door so nobody can take them. It's a busy changing room....what's going too happen. Let's be sensible.
Let's be sensible.
It's very common for pedophiles to cooperate with police for training purposes once they've been tried and incarcerated. They often talk extremely candidly about their methods and motivations. More than a few of these predators have operated by waiting, for hours if necessary, in a public toilet or changing room for a child to come in unaccompanied at a time when things were also quiet. Within minutes, and before the parents even become concerned, the crimes have been committed and the perpetrator walks out of the door, straight past the parents.
I'm sorry but my child's safety trumps anyone's discomfort. Straight up. End of discussion. It's well and good saying 'statistically, look closer to home' or ' i will be right there so nothing will happen to mine' or even 'i won't let them scare me or my children' but the reality is a predator is a predator and they find a way to predate. An adult on the other side of a wall isn't a deterrant. 'it made me/would make me uncomfortable' is playing right into the hands of them.
hi. I think from about seven onwards they could cope with getting dressed on their own. What age do you think they can cope with getting dressed on their own, with mum or dad right outside. Also, I did say a "busy" changing room. And if there was nobody in there, then I would be on red alert. If another adult went in. I would probably intervene.
And who is to say things won't happen while you are there. You didn't say but I presume you are on about photos.
I also, like you, value my childs safety above anything else. I am not complacent by any means. But I could not wrap my child in cotton wool like that. At some point they have to enter the big wide scary world. So better that they have a bit of freedom while I am right outside the door.
No, photos isn't what i was talking about at all.
You are welcome to raise your children as your conscience leads, however others feel differently And with reason.
Personally, as my son has special needs he will not be left unsupervised unless and until he progresses considerably more, respective of his chronological age or how comfortable others are with my decision.
That's different then. My daughter is statemented too, as she has autism. But I know she would ok on her own. In fact, for the first time ever she is being dropped off at the pool next weekend with her friend (they are both nine) where I will leave them too have a swim and meet them at a set time outside afterwards. I don't know if my nerves will cope but she is desperate for some independence bless her."
My son has autism, as well. In a private situation he can mostly see to his own needs but when others are around our in an unfamiliar place he can't, yet. He looks several years older than he is because he is quite tall. I do everything i can you support his growing independence in many areas but there are a few areas where i exert my caution. Due to the knowledge gained from family in law enforcement, public toilets and changing rooms are one of those areas. I would warn the other ladies in the room, and give them time to finish in a modest way, but I'd take him where i needed to take him. The are ways to do it. When my father used to take my girls it for a day on his own, he would open the door to the men's room and tell the guys and give time before taking the girls in there. It was the only option. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went on holiday in this country recently and this happened to us. I was in the communal changing room with my two young girls aged 7 & 9 and there was a boy of about 12 in there with his mum who had been swimming. I didn't like it one bit. He was right by us. He was dressed and not wet and was looking about. One of my girls is starting to develop and I felt very embarrassed for her. I was also uncomfortable myself. There was a small room just outside the changing room yet still in the ladies section where he could have stood.
My husband came out of his changing room and the first thing he said was that a young of about ten was in his and he was very uncomfortable on her behalf.
I don't see the problem in letting somebody over the age of about seven get changed on their own, in a changing room. You would be right outside the door so nobody can take them. It's a busy changing room....what's going too happen. Let's be sensible.
Let's be sensible.
It's very common for pedophiles to cooperate with police for training purposes once they've been tried and incarcerated. They often talk extremely candidly about their methods and motivations. More than a few of these predators have operated by waiting, for hours if necessary, in a public toilet or changing room for a child to come in unaccompanied at a time when things were also quiet. Within minutes, and before the parents even become concerned, the crimes have been committed and the perpetrator walks out of the door, straight past the parents.
I'm sorry but my child's safety trumps anyone's discomfort. Straight up. End of discussion. It's well and good saying 'statistically, look closer to home' or ' i will be right there so nothing will happen to mine' or even 'i won't let them scare me or my children' but the reality is a predator is a predator and they find a way to predate. An adult on the other side of a wall isn't a deterrant. 'it made me/would make me uncomfortable' is playing right into the hands of them.
hi. I think from about seven onwards they could cope with getting dressed on their own. What age do you think they can cope with getting dressed on their own, with mum or dad right outside. Also, I did say a "busy" changing room. And if there was nobody in there, then I would be on red alert. If another adult went in. I would probably intervene.
And who is to say things won't happen while you are there. You didn't say but I presume you are on about photos.
I also, like you, value my childs safety above anything else. I am not complacent by any means. But I could not wrap my child in cotton wool like that. At some point they have to enter the big wide scary world. So better that they have a bit of freedom while I am right outside the door.
No, photos isn't what i was talking about at all.
You are welcome to raise your children as your conscience leads, however others feel differently And with reason.
Personally, as my son has special needs he will not be left unsupervised unless and until he progresses considerably more, respective of his chronological age or how comfortable others are with my decision.
That's different then. My daughter is statemented too, as she has autism. But I know she would ok on her own. In fact, for the first time ever she is being dropped off at the pool next weekend with her friend (they are both nine) where I will leave them too have a swim and meet them at a set time outside afterwards. I don't know if my nerves will cope but she is desperate for some independence bless her.
My son has autism, as well. In a private situation he can mostly see to his own needs but when others are around our in an unfamiliar place he can't, yet. He looks several years older than he is because he is quite tall. I do everything i can you support his growing independence in many areas but there are a few areas where i exert my caution. Due to the knowledge gained from family in law enforcement, public toilets and changing rooms are one of those areas. I would warn the other ladies in the room, and give them time to finish in a modest way, but I'd take him where i needed to take him. The are ways to do it. When my father used to take my girls it for a day on his own, he would open the door to the men's room and tell the guys and give time before taking the girls in there. It was the only option. "
Yeah. That's the sort of thing we would do. Luckily I don't have to worry as our pool only has cubicles. |
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Very young children, I would say not a problem, but if your talking around 11 years old, then that is not really on in my opinion, I used to take my daughter into the male changing room at the swimming pool, but that's when she was about 6/7 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It sounds like some sort of child locker would be the ideal solution. Put a pound in the slot, chuck your kid in and keep them safe."
Stop putting ideas in to people's heads!  |
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I am glad I raised this subject as we seem to have a lot of diferent _iews. As some rightly say its often more acceptable at a swimming pool only, but not at a gym. My reason for findinmg it disturbing was that it was all men in the changing rooms bar the young girls, if it was more open and mixed like the rest of Europe, they wouldn't appear so isolated.
Once again I think its now to the British way or not, as the case may be, |
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One German place I was at everyone changed at the pool side and not in the changing rooms. It was refreshing. Parents have full control over their kids, so welcome overseas visitor rather than make them feel uncomfortable. Maybe it is us who have the issues and not them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If its communal changing rooms then no if they have private booths it depends its everyone's privacy not just the child's I wouldn't be impressed if someone was parading a 12yr old round my gym one bit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When my kids were small, they came everywhere with me.
I didn't worry who thought what of it, there was a young boy sexually assaulted in my town, yards from his mum,where he went to a separate toilet. 
Her |
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as a single parent the kids came with me into the changing rooms out of privacy for everyone else as they got older we swapped to private changing area
only at around 10-12 would i allow my own daughter on her own into a changing room on her own if any trouble though i wouldnt think twice of walking in to get her though i would shout and warn that a male had entered the changing rooms calling her name so she would get to us quickly
only if lady friends was there would i allow her into the changing room as a group |
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