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"Cut and Paste"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've been reading a few other topics on here and one of the things that often comes up is people complaining they have received "cut and paste" first contact emails from others users (usually us lone males).
From my perspective I always read a couples profile before contacting them (all of it! even the bit at the end with the sneaky code word!  ) and try and tailor my response to their needs as much as I can, answer their questions and meet their requirements.
But surely for us blokes when we're sending out lots and lots of introductory emails and trying to tell you about ourselves, of course we're going to end up saying the same sort of things over and over again. Do you all really expect us to come up with a unique piece of prose each and every time that we mail out to someone? There's only so many creative ways you can vary telling the essential info that you want to pass on!
So in my case, while not an actual 'cut and paste' the body of what I tell people about me will be based around a standard straw-man and then, as I said earlier, this will be bespoked around the edges to meet the requirements of, and be specific to, each individual ad.
Just wondering your opinion on this and whether a radical change in approach is needed? Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've been reading a few other topics on here and one of the things that often comes up is people complaining they have received "cut and paste" first contact emails from others users (usually us lone males).
From my perspective I always read a couples profile before contacting them (all of it! even the bit at the end with the sneaky code word! ) and try and tailor my response to their needs as much as I can, answer their questions and meet their requirements.
But surely for us blokes when we're sending out lots and lots of introductory emails and trying to tell you about ourselves, of course we're going to end up saying the same sort of things over and over again. Do you all really expect us to come up with a unique piece of prose each and every time that we mail out to someone? There's only so many creative ways you can vary telling the essential info that you want to pass on!
So in my case, while not an actual 'cut and paste' the body of what I tell people about me will be based around a standard straw-man and then, as I said earlier, this will be bespoked around the edges to meet the requirements of, and be specific to, each individual ad.
Just wondering your opinion on this and whether a radical change in approach is needed? Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've been reading a few other topics on here and one of the things that often comes up is people complaining they have received "cut and paste" first contact emails from others users (usually us lone males).
From my perspective I always read a couples profile before contacting them (all of it! even the bit at the end with the sneaky code word! ) and try and tailor my response to their needs as much as I can, answer their questions and meet their requirements.
But surely for us blokes when we're sending out lots and lots of introductory emails and trying to tell you about ourselves, of course we're going to end up saying the same sort of things over and over again. Do you all really expect us to come up with a unique piece of prose each and every time that we mail out to someone? There's only so many creative ways you can vary telling the essential info that you want to pass on!
So in my case, while not an actual 'cut and paste' the body of what I tell people about me will be based around a standard straw-man and then, as I said earlier, this will be bespoked around the edges to meet the requirements of, and be specific to, each individual ad.
Just wondering your opinion on this and whether a radical change in approach is needed? Thank you "
boom-tish, he's here all week lol |
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"How would people know either way? 
I would imagine when they don't change the name Obviously that bit 
Gizza shag, Velma Rurrup Scooby "
Oh sod! I meant to type 'gizza shaggy, Velma"! So much for that joke 
Gee, if only I hadn't cut n pasted it! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How would people know either way? "
I don't know - but in my first week here I did get a rude 'nice cut and paste' curt sarcastic response and a block after sending an intro email to a couple that had a one-line bio, despite trying to make it as specific and relevant as I could for them.
That incident, and reading about 'cut & paste' on other threads led to this thread.
But to answer your question - I have no idea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been reading a few other topics on here and one of the things that often comes up is people complaining they have received "cut and paste" first contact emails from others users (usually us lone males).
From my perspective I always read a couples profile before contacting them (all of it! even the bit at the end with the sneaky code word! ) and try and tailor my response to their needs as much as I can, answer their questions and meet their requirements.
But surely for us blokes when we're sending out lots and lots of introductory emails and trying to tell you about ourselves, of course we're going to end up saying the same sort of things over and over again. Do you all really expect us to come up with a unique piece of prose each and every time that we mail out to someone? There's only so many creative ways you can vary telling the essential info that you want to pass on!
So in my case, while not an actual 'cut and paste' the body of what I tell people about me will be based around a standard straw-man and then, as I said earlier, this will be bespoked around the edges to meet the requirements of, and be specific to, each individual ad.
Just wondering your opinion on this and whether a radical change in approach is needed? Thank you "
That's what I do. The bit about me is cut and paste as it never really changes. The bit about them is tailored every time. |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
I'm not keen on them. It just makes me feel like they aren't that particular who they meet as long as they meet someone. How much effort have they put into seeing if we are compatible? Am I going to see them and be told I'm not what they were expecting?  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"I've been reading a few other topics on here and one of the things that often comes up is people complaining they have received "cut and paste" first contact emails from others users (usually us lone males).
From my perspective I always read a couples profile before contacting them (all of it! even the bit at the end with the sneaky code word! ) and try and tailor my response to their needs as much as I can, answer their questions and meet their requirements.
But surely for us blokes when we're sending out lots and lots of introductory emails and trying to tell you about ourselves, of course we're going to end up saying the same sort of things over and over again. Do you all really expect us to come up with a unique piece of prose each and every time that we mail out to someone? There's only so many creative ways you can vary telling the essential info that you want to pass on!
So in my case, while not an actual 'cut and paste' the body of what I tell people about me will be based around a standard straw-man and then, as I said earlier, this will be bespoked around the edges to meet the requirements of, and be specific to, each individual ad.
Just wondering your opinion on this and whether a radical change in approach is needed? Thank you "
my question then would be "why are you sending out lots and lots?"
I think that is the mistake people make! that people and the "cut and paste" is so generalised and generic that instead of actually appealing to everyone, you end up appealing to no one!
you arent going to attract everyone, so why try? in effect you are wasting your own time
concentrate on the people who would concentrate on you!
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've been reading a few other topics on here and one of the things that often comes up is people complaining they have received "cut and paste" first contact emails from others users (usually us lone males).
From my perspective I always read a couples profile before contacting them (all of it! even the bit at the end with the sneaky code word! ) and try and tailor my response to their needs as much as I can, answer their questions and meet their requirements.
But surely for us blokes when we're sending out lots and lots of introductory emails and trying to tell you about ourselves, of course we're going to end up saying the same sort of things over and over again. Do you all really expect us to come up with a unique piece of prose each and every time that we mail out to someone? There's only so many creative ways you can vary telling the essential info that you want to pass on!
So in my case, while not an actual 'cut and paste' the body of what I tell people about me will be based around a standard straw-man and then, as I said earlier, this will be bespoked around the edges to meet the requirements of, and be specific to, each individual ad.
Just wondering your opinion on this and whether a radical change in approach is needed? Thank you
my question then would be "why are you sending out lots and lots?"
I think that is the mistake people make! that people and the "cut and paste" is so generalised and generic that instead of actually appealing to everyone, you end up appealing to no one!
you arent going to attract everyone, so why try? in effect you are wasting your own time
concentrate on the people who would concentrate on you!
"
Fair point, lots and lots is a bit of an exaggeration - I only contact those where I feel I do actually meet their criteria and use filters accordingly e.g. If they're after VWE, fully bi, under 40 only etc then I don't bother as that's not me and as you say a total waste of time.
I meant 'quite a few' rather than 'lots and lots' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been reading a few other topics on here and one of the things that often comes up is people complaining they have received "cut and paste" first contact emails from others users (usually us lone males).
From my perspective I always read a couples profile before contacting them (all of it! even the bit at the end with the sneaky code word! ) and try and tailor my response to their needs as much as I can, answer their questions and meet their requirements.
But surely for us blokes when we're sending out lots and lots of introductory emails and trying to tell you about ourselves, of course we're going to end up saying the same sort of things over and over again. Do you all really expect us to come up with a unique piece of prose each and every time that we mail out to someone? There's only so many creative ways you can vary telling the essential info that you want to pass on!
So in my case, while not an actual 'cut and paste' the body of what I tell people about me will be based around a standard straw-man and then, as I said earlier, this will be bespoked around the edges to meet the requirements of, and be specific to, each individual ad.
Just wondering your opinion on this and whether a radical change in approach is needed? Thank you
my question then would be "why are you sending out lots and lots?"
I think that is the mistake people make! that people and the "cut and paste" is so generalised and generic that instead of actually appealing to everyone, you end up appealing to no one!
you arent going to attract everyone, so why try? in effect you are wasting your own time
concentrate on the people who would concentrate on you!
Fair point, lots and lots is a bit of an exaggeration - I only contact those where I feel I do actually meet their criteria and use filters accordingly e.g. If they're after VWE, fully bi, under 40 only etc then I don't bother as that's not me and as you say a total waste of time.
I meant 'quite a few' rather than 'lots and lots' "
Me too. Usually I mail about 10 profiles I like the look of and seem to fit. They don't know how many other people I mail. |
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I was going to start a new thread on this, but Dan has hit the nail on the head here. I recently received my first (quite rude) reply to a polite and friendly message I'd sent, criticising me for "cutting and pasting". Ironically, although the brief description of myself and my interests was "standard", I'd tailored the message more than usual to the person I was contacting, commenting on their photos, responding to a point on their profile and making a joke about their headline.
Often, there is no such opportunity to do that, as the very people complaining about cut and paste messages are those with a one line description on their profile and no picture! How are we supposed to send a meaningful, unique message with so little to work with?
I don't send out huge numbers of messages, but as many single guys on here will know, so few communications get answered (and many not even read), that contacting your favourite and then lying back and waiting for a response is not really an option if you want to get together with someone this century! I have a particular interest and, as a straight bloke, tend only to contact women who list that interest and whom are looking for single guys my age. There are only so many different ways of wording my interest - why on earth would I write that from scratch every time? Surely, of all people, women (who we regularly hear complaining about the effort of processing the hundreds of message they get) should understand this time-saving measure?
I realise that everybody on the site wants to feel that you joined purely to contact them and that completely impersonal messages don't convey a good impression, but I also wish women would put themselves in our shoes a bit sometimes! I don't want this to sound like a "woe is me" post - the site is what it is - but it can be rather soul destroying to carefully craft a handful of polite messages, personalised as much as possible based on the information available, only to find that the rare response is a rude, critical one!
I'd particularly welcome constructive responses to my points from anybody who stands by their "anti cut and paste messages" line - if nothing else so that I can understand how to improve my messages and maybe the response rate! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was going to start a new thread on this, but Dan has hit the nail on the head here. I recently received my first (quite rude) reply to a polite and friendly message I'd sent, criticising me for "cutting and pasting". Ironically, although the brief description of myself and my interests was "standard", I'd tailored the message more than usual to the person I was contacting, commenting on their photos, responding to a point on their profile and making a joke about their headline.
Often, there is no such opportunity to do that, as the very people complaining about cut and paste messages are those with a one line description on their profile and no picture! How are we supposed to send a meaningful, unique message with so little to work with?
I don't send out huge numbers of messages, but as many single guys on here will know, so few communications get answered (and many not even read), that contacting your favourite and then lying back and waiting for a response is not really an option if you want to get together with someone this century! I have a particular interest and, as a straight bloke, tend only to contact women who list that interest and whom are looking for single guys my age. There are only so many different ways of wording my interest - why on earth would I write that from scratch every time? Surely, of all people, women (who we regularly hear complaining about the effort of processing the hundreds of message they get) should understand this time-saving measure?
I realise that everybody on the site wants to feel that you joined purely to contact them and that completely impersonal messages don't convey a good impression, but I also wish women would put themselves in our shoes a bit sometimes! I don't want this to sound like a "woe is me" post - the site is what it is - but it can be rather soul destroying to carefully craft a handful of polite messages, personalised as much as possible based on the information available, only to find that the rare response is a rude, critical one!
I'd particularly welcome constructive responses to my points from anybody who stands by their "anti cut and paste messages" line - if nothing else so that I can understand how to improve my messages and maybe the response rate! "
 blimey that's a thread from ages ago when I was a newbie and still very wet behind the ears on here but you've absolutely hit the nail on the head there, exactly the same type of experience. In my case I'd just been blocked for doing exactly as you had - using standard stuff about me but also tailoring the message explicitly around them - but it seemed as though they only wanted a unique, bespoke piece of prose just for them.
Since then I've come to realise that a rude reply and block from people like them was actually a blessing in disguise (I was shocked and gutted at the time!), I mean if they can be that rude to a friendly introductory mail that had some effort put into it, then these were the type of people I'd prefer not to meet anyway! Plenty of really nice people on here instead to invest your energies in!
Good luck in your continued search my friend, don't let the buggers get you down! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been reading a few other topics on here and one of the things that often comes up is people complaining they have received "cut and paste" first contact emails from others users (usually us lone males).
From my perspective I always read a couples profile before contacting them (all of it! even the bit at the end with the sneaky code word! ) and try and tailor my response to their needs as much as I can, answer their questions and meet their requirements.
But surely for us blokes when we're sending out lots and lots of introductory emails and trying to tell you about ourselves, of course we're going to end up saying the same sort of things over and over again. Do you all really expect us to come up with a unique piece of prose each and every time that we mail out to someone? There's only so many creative ways you can vary telling the essential info that you want to pass on!
So in my case, while not an actual 'cut and paste' the body of what I tell people about me will be based around a standard straw-man and then, as I said earlier, this will be bespoked around the edges to meet the requirements of, and be specific to, each individual ad.
Just wondering your opinion on this and whether a radical change in approach is needed? Thank you
my question then would be "why are you sending out lots and lots?"
I think that is the mistake people make! that people and the "cut and paste" is so generalised and generic that instead of actually appealing to everyone, you end up appealing to no one!
you arent going to attract everyone, so why try? in effect you are wasting your own time
concentrate on the people who would concentrate on you!
"
Scattergun effect. 1 in 10 is better than concentrating on ones you like but might not like you.
Not my tactical approach to this place. But that'll be the gist.......... |
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