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Do you know how to friend?
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
The annual Woman's/Man's Hour programme on R4 this morning discussed friendship and how some don't know how to do friendship.
There was a lovely description that when it all goes wrong friends are the ones walking through the door as everyone else is walking out.
The discussion covered love for friends and how to move from a romantic love into a friendship love when a relationship ends.
It's worth a listen.
What do you expect of friends?
What sort of friend are you? |
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By *afadaoMan
over a year ago
Staines |
I'll give you my best example of palship....
All of my attached, married friends with children have very busy and content lives. So it's very easy for them to become enveloped in that world and forget the past.
However, my top, top pals always want to stay in touch, ask as to my welfare and invite me to socials. That's important to me. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'll give you my best example of palship....
All of my attached, married friends with children have very busy and content lives. So it's very easy for them to become enveloped in that world and forget the past.
However, my top, top pals always want to stay in touch, ask as to my welfare and invite me to socials. That's important to me."
That is important stuff. I assume you give them something back (apart from being a giggle) too.
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The old chestnut " your know who your real friends are when you really need them" is so so true! ! I have true friends i have known for 45 years ... Am always there for them ,thro thick and thin as they are for me. No matter what...
Friends are the family we choose for ourselves  |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
I'm a loyal friend. If they can put up with me, they deserve loyalty. I'm also the person everyone seems to bring their problems and troubles to when they need them solving and so on.  |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm a loyal friend. If they can put up with me, they deserve loyalty. I'm also the person everyone seems to bring their problems and troubles to when they need them solving and so on. "
I think I would be a little scared of what would arrive in the post if I was in your genuine-outside-of-Fab friendship circle.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"The old chestnut " your know who your real friends are when you really need them" is so so true! ! I have true friends i have known for 45 years ... Am always there for them ,thro thick and thin as they are for me. No matter what...
Friends are the family we choose for ourselves "
I am lucky that my closest friend is also my family but beyond that the friendship group is more our family than others we are related to.
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
I would do anything for my mates..My best mate I've known since our first day at primary school in 1972 and my latest pal is the Wyrd one who I can't get shot of after meeting her on here...I must admit I never expected to find good friends on a shagging/swinging site, but I've been really lucky to meet some awesome folk and it just goes to show that you can carry on meeting friends well into your middle years  |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I would do anything for my mates..My best mate I've known since our first day at primary school in 1972 and my latest pal is the Wyrd one who I can't get shot of after meeting her on here...I must admit I never expected to find good friends on a shagging/swinging site, but I've been really lucky to meet some awesome folk and it just goes to show that you can carry on meeting friends well into your middle years "
It has surprised me to have made friends here, at my advanced age.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"[Removed by poster at 25/08/14 18:25:39]
I suspect you are a good friend to have Popeye, whatever your post said.
"
Lol! I began writing and forgot to press post.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"[Removed by poster at 25/08/14 18:25:39]
I suspect you are a good friend to have Popeye, whatever your post said.
Lol! I began writing and forgot to press post.
"
He began writing it and then a friend called who needed a shoulder to cry on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As me old Dad taught me, A friend in need is just a ponce who knows ya name
Deep Gimp 
I think I love you a little "
Oh Goody lend us a score, I'l see you alright when i get me glasses back 
Gimp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say I'm a good freind. My mates know il be there for them no matter what. And have been when they needed my support in the past ,I'd like to think they can rely on me and me them to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"[Removed by poster at 25/08/14 18:25:39]
I suspect you are a good friend to have Popeye, whatever your post said.
Lol! I began writing and forgot to press post.
He began writing it and then a friend called who needed a shoulder to cry on."
I see you're alright now.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have very few people I would count as true friends - many acquaintances.
I don't make friends easily, partly because people think me distant due to the barriers I project to protect myself - 'layered' if you will.
I doubt I will make many more true friends before the end - I was cruelly betrayed by someone under the guide of best friend and now find it almost impossible to trust people enough to give them the opportunity. But I 'never say never' as the trope goes!
But I am one of those friends who, when the shit hits the fan, will not flinch or falter and will stand by the people I care most about. To paraphrase :
'Friends are like teabags - you only fin out how strong they are when you get in hot water' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I consider myself lucky to have the group of friends I do. I have a small group of close friends who I've mostly known for at least ten years. We have been through a lot of life's dramas together and they are the kind that I can ring at 3am and they'll be there for me.
I think I'm a good listener, great tea maker and level headed friend. I love my friends to bits and they know what they mean to me.
One of them has recently moved to Manchester. He texted me the other day to say :- Remember friends are like stars. You may not see them always but they are always ready to twinkle and make you smile.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm the loyal, supportive sometimes punch bag friend!! Only 2 "friends" have I ever walked away from!!!
Punch bag friend... that's me too.  "
I have been one too, sign of being a good friend, depending how it is done.
Her |
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I don't have any close friends. I had one once when I was 17 but he killed himself so never got close to anyone after that friendship wise. I have a few friends but none I would think of as close. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm the loyal, supportive sometimes punch bag friend!! Only 2 "friends" have I ever walked away from!!!
Punch bag friend... that's me too. I have been one too, sign of being a good friend, depending how it is done.
Her"
In the last couple of years I have moved away from being the punch bag friend. My life is happier and they have survived without having a handy punch bag.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm the loyal, supportive sometimes punch bag friend!! Only 2 "friends" have I ever walked away from!!!
Punch bag friend... that's me too. I have been one too, sign of being a good friend, depending how it is done.
Her
In the last couple of years I have moved away from being the punch bag friend. My life is happier and they have survived without having a handy punch bag.
"
I don't mean actually beaten but I mean I've been the one to cushion the blow on their crap when it gets tough for them to handle, not everyone can handle some things alone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm the loyal, supportive sometimes punch bag friend!! Only 2 "friends" have I ever walked away from!!!
Punch bag friend... that's me too. I have been one too, sign of being a good friend, depending how it is done.
Her
In the last couple of years I have moved away from being the punch bag friend. My life is happier and they have survived without having a handy punch bag.
No my meaning was if a friend needs a scream on your shoulder, I would be the punch bag.
Her
I don't mean actually beaten but I mean I've been the one to cushion the blow on their crap when it gets tough for them to handle, not everyone can handle some things alone"
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm the loyal, supportive sometimes punch bag friend!! Only 2 "friends" have I ever walked away from!!!
Punch bag friend... that's me too. I have been one too, sign of being a good friend, depending how it is done.
Her
In the last couple of years I have moved away from being the punch bag friend. My life is happier and they have survived without having a handy punch bag.
No my meaning was if a friend needs a scream on your shoulder, I would be the punch bag.
Her
I don't mean actually beaten but I mean I've been the one to cushion the blow on their crap when it gets tough for them to handle, not everyone can handle some things alone "
I realise that. I found those friends to be one way a lot of the time. I am seeing one that hasn't been cut off tomorrow. |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I'm a bit of a mother hen to mine. I'm a fairly forgiving person when it comes to people pissing me off but if anyone hurts one of my friends I go into wrath mode on their behalf. I am still friends with all of my exes as well although it does take hard work at first to maintain it without awkwardness. It takes me a while to consider someone a friend rather than a mate though. And all of mine are blokes, not through any conscious decision but because I work with blokes and my hobbies are more traditionally masculine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have a small number of people who i have ever called a true friend - my ex i realised never was at all which is quite sad on reflection - i never told him so many things |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
I don't let many people close at all, a few have called me the ice queen and thats fine. I'm not a magpie and don't feel the need to gather people close.
I probably have 2 close friends, and for them, I will do anything I can.
I then probably have a couple of other friends - who I talk to about certain things but they wouldn't know much about me, and then some acquaintances.
I'm fairly self sufficient. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a few close friends and a very very best friend. We seem to know when one of us needs something and text or try to ring each other at the same time. Its really sppoky. She's just moved house and already discribed 'my room' to me lol
I think I'm a good friend x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm 28 and my closest friend is also 28 and we've been friends for 24 years.
I think we've mate that happen through sheer amounts of loyalty to each other. I like to think I am a loyal friend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm 28 and my closest friend is also 28 and we've been friends for 24 years.
I think we've mate that happen through sheer amounts of loyalty to each other. I like to think I am a loyal friend "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a few, I've lost a few.
I think I've progressively become (unintentionally) a worse friend as I've got older and isolated myself more.
I also have acquaintances which I like to varying degrees but I have no desire to either search or make close friends.
It would be nice to be a little more social but I'm more or less happy as I am. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I have a few, I've lost a few.
I think I've progressively become (unintentionally) a worse friend as I've got older and isolated myself more.
I also have acquaintances which I like to varying degrees but I have no desire to either search or make close friends.
It would be nice to be a little more social but I'm more or less happy as I am."
Only you have the ability to make yourself a little more social.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only you have the ability to make yourself a little more social.
"
I know and I do sometimes.
I prefer the company of females these days (and no, not specifically like that). With my male friends it's just a alcohol binge fest which is fine but not all the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can tell who my closest friends are as conversations are often along the following lines
"Oi fuckchops! Have you got a shovel?"
"Yes, there's one in the shed"
"Wells it's bugger all use in there so you might as well bring it here Saturday and help me dig some foundations.....beer is in the fridge"
Or the recent call I received
Them- "You still got my front door key?"
Me- "yes- do you need it back?"
Them "not unless you can squeeze through the letter box to feed the cat while were on holiday"
25 years of mutual sarcasm, piss taking and insults next year and hopefully lots more adventures to come |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I can tell who my closest friends are as conversations are often along the following lines
"Oi fuckchops! Have you got a shovel?"
"Yes, there's one in the shed"
"Wells it's bugger all use in there so you might as well bring it here Saturday and help me dig some foundations.....beer is in the fridge"
Or the recent call I received
Them- "You still got my front door key?"
Me- "yes- do you need it back?"
Them "not unless you can squeeze through the letter box to feed the cat while were on holiday"
25 years of mutual sarcasm, piss taking and insults next year and hopefully lots more adventures to come "
That sounds like healthy friends.
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I make very few 'true' friends, but those I have I love freely and openly and I am utterly steadfast and loyal, they can rely on me there, and I take pride in that fact - even though I cannot rely on them sometimes.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can tell who my closest friends are as conversations are often along the following lines
"Oi fuckchops! Have you got a shovel?"
"Yes, there's one in the shed"
"Wells it's bugger all use in there so you might as well bring it here Saturday and help me dig some foundations.....beer is in the fridge"
Or the recent call I received
Them- "You still got my front door key?"
Me- "yes- do you need it back?"
Them "not unless you can squeeze through the letter box to feed the cat while were on holiday"
25 years of mutual sarcasm, piss taking and insults next year and hopefully lots more adventures to come
That sounds like healthy friends.
"
Yep! Anyone who can put up with any of us for that long obviously has their brain wired in the same crazy way- must be why we've stuck together so long with only a handful of extra additions surviving the entry exam to the group. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i am friends with one of my exes, we have kids do have to get on but we're both pretty chill as people anyway so it worked out ok.
we chat and support each other, are open and honest with each other, have a laugh and flirt sometimes, and i do this with all my freinds, this is what i feel a freind should be- someone who is honest but supportive and good company. i only have a few close friends though, that's all i want though as i don't have a lot of spare time. |
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