FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Mom, I Need To Be Honest With You
Mom, I Need To Be Honest With You
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am really struggling to find time to myself for meets. I only have my mom who can babysit for me and most of the time she suggests that she comes to mine to have my son.
I'm considering just being brutally honest with her and telling her that I have joined this site. Although we do get on well and I can talk to her about anything, I'm thinking this might be a step too far. I know she will understand my need for intimacy but I also know that she will worry about my safety and not completely understand.
In the past I've fibbed and told her that I've been on dates but then she asks me a 1000 questions (she is desperate for me to find a boyfriend). I just can't be bothered with the lies but also really unsure about telling her the truth.
Advice very welcome please |
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She might surprise you with her reaction. I personally would rather be tied to an anthill with my ears smeared with jam than tell my mum but she is incredibly straightlaced.
Only you know her well enough but I think I would worry about my daughter being on here singly. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Could you not just tell her your not necessarily going out but just need a break?"
that would probably work as a one off or every 6 months or so but not regularly x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dont lie to your mum, to get a free house, no shag worth that.
Tell her you need a break, which is true with most mind from time to time and get a nice Girly friend to go to a club with.
Her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dont lie to your mum, to get a free house, no shag worth that.
Tell her you need a break, which is true with most mind from time to time and get a nice Girly friend to go to a club with.
Her"
mums |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Or mention that you are part of a forum which has lots of getogethers?"
This sounds like a good idea. Maybe if i said it was a single mothers club or something. She is very nosey though and would want to know the name, website, where we meet etc and then I would just end up fibbing again x |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
I wouldn't dream of telling my parents, or relying on them so I can have a sex life.
I have some paid babysitters, and arrange when my son is away at his dads, or sometimes at a friends.
It depends how often you are planning on meeting.
Can you not have some works nights out/girls nights with friends?
Is there a problem with her keeping your son at yours? My wee lad settles much better in his own house, and its not worth upsetting him for a random encounter. |
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Why not attack the issue as many guys on here do when trying to get their partner involved.
Tell her you need some 'intimacy' but don't need or want a relationship, tell her you are 'thinking of trying' a site you have been recommended to, where you can find casual sex or friends with benefits.
Gauge her reaction and if she's positive then go for it and tell her so, if not re assess whether you want to be completely honest with her or not lol  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dont lie to your mum, to get a free house, no shag worth that.
Tell her you need a break, which is true with most mind from time to time and get a nice Girly friend to go to a club with.
Her"
I like the idea of finding a female friend to go to clubs with. Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't dream of telling my parents, or relying on them so I can have a sex life.
I have some paid babysitters, and arrange when my son is away at his dads, or sometimes at a friends.
It depends how often you are planning on meeting.
Can you not have some works nights out/girls nights with friends?
Is there a problem with her keeping your son at yours? My wee lad settles much better in his own house, and its not worth upsetting him for a random encounter."
So are you saying that I should not have a sex life?
I can't afford to pay for a sitter and even if I could I wouldn't leave him with somebody who is more interested in the money than my son. I also don't have the luxury of alternate free weekends when my son goes to his dad as his dad abandoned us both hence my lack of free time x
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
I would smile if the convo runs like this:
'Mum, I've got something to tell you about the guys I've been dating.'
'Dear, I've been really concerned about this. You aren't married and should be meeting more guys. I've got a hat I want to wear.'
'Yes, mum, but anyway...'
'Have you tried Fabswingers? I've had a lot of fun on there, myself, and it may be better than all these dates you never want to chat about. Plus you might meet Mr Right. Think about it.'
'Mum!' 
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Does your child not have any friends at school they could have sleep overs? "
Unfortunately, although I have every Tom, Dick and Harry for sleepovers, it has rarely been reciprocated x |
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"I would smile if the convo runs like this:
'Mum, I've got something to tell you about the guys I've been dating.'
'Dear, I've been really concerned about this. You aren't married and should be meeting more guys. I've got a hat I want to wear.'
'Yes, mum, but anyway...'
'Have you tried Fabswingers? I've had a lot of fun on there, myself, and it may be better than all these dates you never want to chat about. Plus you might meet Mr Right. Think about it.'
'Mum!'
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think we are pushing the limits of how many old school friends who are having parties!!...we rely a lot on parents as most of our meeting involves a hotel stay....hence why we don't meet very often.....I would live some new excuses too as there is no way we are telling the parents!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would smile if the convo runs like this:
'Mum, I've got something to tell you about the guys I've been dating.'
'Dear, I've been really concerned about this. You aren't married and should be meeting more guys. I've got a hat I want to wear.'
'Yes, mum, but anyway...'
'Have you tried Fabswingers? I've had a lot of fun on there, myself, and it may be better than all these dates you never want to chat about. Plus you might meet Mr Right. Think about it.'
'Mum!'
"
She once did offer to pay for an escort for the night for me so you never know!!!x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we are pushing the limits of how many old school friends who are having parties!!...we rely a lot on parents as most of our meeting involves a hotel stay....hence why we don't meet very often.....I would live some new excuses too as there is no way we are telling the parents!!"
*love....not live! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Theres no need to tell her your on a swinger site.
Just ask if she could take the kid for a while so you can host some friends over for a diner party or have a date over and cook him dinner etc.
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"I wouldn't dream of telling my parents, or relying on them so I can have a sex life.
I have some paid babysitters, and arrange when my son is away at his dads, or sometimes at a friends.
It depends how often you are planning on meeting.
Can you not have some works nights out/girls nights with friends?
Is there a problem with her keeping your son at yours? My wee lad settles much better in his own house, and its not worth upsetting him for a random encounter.
So are you saying that I should not have a sex life?
I can't afford to pay for a sitter and even if I could I wouldn't leave him with somebody who is more interested in the money than my son. I also don't have the luxury of alternate free weekends when my son goes to his dad as his dad abandoned us both hence my lack of free time x
"
No, I never said you shouldn't have a sex life at all. My babysitters are not more interested in the money at all - I picked them carefully, and they adore him as much as he adores them - I've had the same sitters for most of the 4 years I've been a single mum for. It does limit when I can meet, but thats part of what I took on being a parent.
I meant the suggestion for works night outs as an excuse.
Consider if you tell your mum what you are doing, and she dislikes it so much she refuses to sit for you... what then? |
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I can understand her wanting to babysit at yours , as im the same with my grandchildren. Maybe say your child/children prefer to stay with her. Can say your friends come back to you for drinks after. Or tell her the truth. Good luck. X |
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"Or mention that you are part of a forum which has lots of getogethers?
This sounds like a good idea. Maybe if i said it was a single mothers club or something. She is very nosey though and would want to know the name, website, where we meet etc and then I would just end up fibbing again x"
Tell her it's a group of single parents from an invite only forum and you got an invite after posting on netmums.
Tell her it's a mixed group of mums and dads and that whenever a few of you can you have get togethers, some at people's houses and some in pubs and cafes. But even though they're a great bunch they are still strangers off the Internet so if you are hosting you prefer that your kids aren't there.
Then if you get yourself a female club buddy or two they are the ones that your mum can meet in passing if you're off out. |
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"Let your mum babysit at yours and fuck somewhere else.
I prefer to meet at my home, I feel safer for some reason
Then fuck at home and have less sex... it's your choice."
You crack me up please stop it it hurts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Theres no need to tell her your on a swinger site.
Just ask if she could take the kid for a while so you can host some friends over for a diner party or have a date over and cook him dinner etc.
"
Exactly what I would do. Nans are the best people to look after your children. I have my grandchildren all the time and if my daughter wanted a night of sex I'd be more than happy to have her children |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Or mention that you are part of a forum which has lots of getogethers?
This sounds like a good idea. Maybe if i said it was a single mothers club or something. She is very nosey though and would want to know the name, website, where we meet etc and then I would just end up fibbing again x
Tell her it's a group of single parents from an invite only forum and you got an invite after posting on netmums.
Tell her it's a mixed group of mums and dads and that whenever a few of you can you have get togethers, some at people's houses and some in pubs and cafes. But even though they're a great bunch they are still strangers off the Internet so if you are hosting you prefer that your kids aren't there.
Then if you get yourself a female club buddy or two they are the ones that your mum can meet in passing if you're off out."
Thank you, you have been really helpful x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you found a guy that can accommodate, your problem is solved. Might make it all easier.
My Mum was very open minded and we talked openly about lots of things, but I'd never have told her I was on here. I think she would have worried about my safety.
Or is there any possibility of meeting in the day sometimes, if your son is at school?
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"Or mention that you are part of a forum which has lots of getogethers?
This sounds like a good idea. Maybe if i said it was a single mothers club or something. She is very nosey though and would want to know the name, website, where we meet etc and then I would just end up fibbing again x
Tell her it's a group of single parents from an invite only forum and you got an invite after posting on netmums.
Tell her it's a mixed group of mums and dads and that whenever a few of you can you have get togethers, some at people's houses and some in pubs and cafes. But even though they're a great bunch they are still strangers off the Internet so if you are hosting you prefer that your kids aren't there.
Then if you get yourself a female club buddy or two they are the ones that your mum can meet in passing if you're off out."
Awwwww but thats fibbing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you found a guy that can accommodate, your problem is solved. Might make it all easier.
My Mum was very open minded and we talked openly about lots of things, but I'd never have told her I was on here. I think she would have worried about my safety.
Or is there any possibility of meeting in the day sometimes, if your son is at school?
"
I work every day x |
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"If you found a guy that can accommodate, your problem is solved. Might make it all easier.
My Mum was very open minded and we talked openly about lots of things, but I'd never have told her I was on here. I think she would have worried about my safety.
Or is there any possibility of meeting in the day sometimes, if your son is at school?
I work every day x"
You have two choices as I see it stay as you are or speak to your mum. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let your mum babysit at yours and fuck somewhere else.
I prefer to meet at my home, I feel safer for some reason
Then fuck at home and have less sex... it's your choice."
|
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you could also ask for me time as you need a break
also mentioning as there the grandma they can stay overnights more often at theres so grand parents would get more time with there grand kids
just an idea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dont lie to your mum, to get a free house, no shag worth that.
Tell her you need a break, which is true with most mind from time to time and get a nice Girly friend to go to a club with.
Her
I like the idea of finding a female friend to go to clubs with. Thank you x"
your welcome, I bet there are plenty of ladies, would love to, some don't like going alone either, its ok for us couples, having each other, try and find a like minded lady friend x |
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Find a forum that's vanilla, something that interests you and actually join it. Then you're not telling lies. And you might meet some new friends you have something else in common with into the bargain.
My folks think you lot are my 'camping' mates.  |
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"Let your mum babysit at yours and fuck somewhere else.
I prefer to meet at my home, I feel safer for some reason"
Although you feel safer in your home you aren't really, and in fact you've let a relative stranger know where you live and if he turns out to be a wrong un could come back at anytime, including when your child is there. Wouldn't it be simpler and safer to let your mum babysit at your house and you meet the guy at a hotel? |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"Let your mum babysit at yours and fuck somewhere else.
I prefer to meet at my home, I feel safer for some reason
Although you feel safer in your home you aren't really, and in fact you've let a relative stranger know where you live and if he turns out to be a wrong un could come back at anytime, including when your child is there. Wouldn't it be simpler and safer to let your mum babysit at your house and you meet the guy at a hotel?"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mum I'm a swinger. Imagine the stigma first will come the health questions then will come the mum advice then will come the child. Just tell her you have a regular fuck buddy and she will never be introduced to him because he is simply that. |
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By *otswoldMan
over a year ago
Cheltenham |
OK! She wants to see you with a boyfriend and no doubt hopes for some idealised boyfriend to be a father figure for your boy. But surely she must understand that suitable surrogate fathers for your son don't grow on trees and you will never find one if you stay indoors on a Saturday night.
Unless she is very worldly wise there is no way that she is going guess what kind of "social" forum you have joined and that the sort of guys you are hoping to meet are unlikely to be the fatherly type? And, of course, you are going to be very picky in your choice. So you can be perfectly truthful about not bringing one home
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Id not tell her the full truth, as it seems you have reason to be cautious. Talk to her about needing your own space regularly and how she would be able to help, and how you could help get your family to her easily. You could possibly set up a schedule, even if you did not use all the slots. Also treat her, so she does not feel too put upon, spend good time with her too. Perhaps see if you could also get other support, so its not all on her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mum I'm a swinger. Imagine the stigma first will come the health questions then will come the mum advice then will come the child. Just tell her you have a regular fuck buddy and she will never be introduced to him because he is simply that."
You can't say fuck in front of your mum. |
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