I'm working tonight and after some vigorous *ahem* play, I've been left with some unusual, visible marks.
Chances are nobody will ask but tell me good folk of Fab, what are your best reasons for having rough sex evidence, just so I can deflect of course  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fell down the stairs covers a multitude of sins... And with how clumsy I am anyway no one has ever doubted my claims regardless of how often I might have 'fallen'!  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Ok, I didn't want to, but shall I say a small, boney handed hobbit crawled into my bed last night and felt the need to practice his death grip on my neck?
It's all I have so far. "
Get a surgical neck collar and claim whiplash!
No awkward explanations, no one will see the bruises - and you'll get bags of sympathy to boot!
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, I didn't want to, but shall I say a small, boney handed hobbit crawled into my bed last night and felt the need to practice his death grip on my neck?
It's all I have so far. "
Say your silk scarf got caught in a train door and you didn't realise until it left the station
Actually the boney hobbit sounds better  |
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"Ok, I didn't want to, but shall I say a small, boney handed hobbit crawled into my bed last night and felt the need to practice his death grip on my neck?
It's all I have so far. "
Ok! Can you wear a scarf to work? I don't mean a full on Harry Potter type scarf but a silk one or something otherwise just say you had a fight to the death with an intruder and look mean when you say it...no one will argue with you then |
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"Ok, I didn't want to, but shall I say a small, boney handed hobbit crawled into my bed last night and felt the need to practice his death grip on my neck?
It's all I have so far.
Ok! Can you wear a scarf to work? I don't mean a full on Harry Potter type scarf but a silk one or something otherwise just say you had a fight to the death with an intruder and look mean when you say it...no one will argue with you then "
I wish! What I have to wear is far less flattering and if I admitted to even owning a silk scarf, they'd be checking me for concussion. |
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"Ok, I didn't want to, but shall I say a small, boney handed hobbit crawled into my bed last night and felt the need to practice his death grip on my neck?
It's all I have so far.
Ok! Can you wear a scarf to work? I don't mean a full on Harry Potter type scarf but a silk one or something otherwise just say you had a fight to the death with an intruder and look mean when you say it...no one will argue with you then
I wish! What I have to wear is far less flattering and if I admitted to even owning a silk scarf, they'd be checking me for concussion."
then all I can suggest is the bony hobbit or fight unto death option. Just swagger in saying "yea but you should see the other bloke"  |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I once accidentally fell asleep with my pearl choker on and it dug into my neck. And wanged my boob on a pillar in a train station. And reassembled a shoe rack kneeling on a tiled floor. And slept on a sofa right on the cushion zip which dug into my face. All of these have passed muster as excuses for me in the last few months if that helps. Plus I'm a klutz so have quite a few non sex bruises as well. |
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If you have visible finger marks then you may have to blame a toddler, just say you went shopping with a friend and were watching their child while they tried stuff on and said child threw a mega tantrum and grabbed you. |
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