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Male Midwife?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What do you think of male midwives? To my mind, any male that goes into that profession is likely to be compassionate and empathic to a high degree, so would you compare a male midwife to a female midwife that has never had children and could never understand where you are in labour except empathically? Or would you simply say no based on their lack of uterus? or other? I am trying to be completely impartial in the question as I am trying to elicit responses as I am seriously considering it as a career |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would prefer a woman as they have more empathy and I feel being a woman themselves, even if they hadn't had children, they would understand me more."
Interesting...Why would you assume that a woman would have more empathy? There is actual evidence that shows that male midwifes are more empathic than female midwives (please check google). And how many women understand you obstetrically when they have not had the same experience as you vs how many men understand? Plus, how would you feel if you had a (as normal NHS practice) a male gyneacologist or obstetrician? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would prefer a woman as they have more empathy and I feel being a woman themselves, even if they hadn't had children, they would understand me more.
Interesting...Why would you assume that a woman would have more empathy? There is actual evidence that shows that male midwifes are more empathic than female midwives (please check google). And how many women understand you obstetrically when they have not had the same experience as you vs how many men understand? Plus, how would you feel if you had a (as normal NHS practice) a male gyneacologist or obstetrician?"
It's a fact that women have more empathy.
When I say they would understand me more. I mean because we are both women. We are like minded because we are the same, like my friends.
I would prefer not to have a male midwife. I feel very uneasy when a guy is interfering down there. I never have male drs either. But that's just me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am sorry to have to disagree with you but it is most certainly not a fact that women have more empathy; in fact it is complete nonsense.
That is a fallacy of the worst kind as it encourages gender bias.
From what I gather from the available evidence, when you are experiencing labour or birth, your midwife can not possibly experience the same whether the midwife be male or female due to everybodies experiences being different and can only empathise...male or female can do this.
If you feel more comfortable with a women then is entirely your choice and is fine, but it is always nice to make an informed choice. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Um. Good question.
I'm very, very unlikely ever to need a midwife but I'm not sure how I'd feel.
Logically I don't see why men shouldn't be able to do the job well. I don't know how I'd feel if it was a situation I might encounter. |
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I wouldn't mind m or f so long as they were good at the job and had enough empathy and humour to put up with me lol.
My uncle was a first class nurse and I know many patients asked for him especially because of his manner.
Many female nurses look after men in urology wards- as they don't have a cock n don't know how it feels should they now look after these guys ??
OP go for it, the training is super hard but if want it you will do it x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Um. Good question.
I'm very, very unlikely ever to need a midwife but I'm not sure how I'd feel.
Logically I don't see why men shouldn't be able to do the job well. I don't know how I'd feel if it was a situation I might encounter."
Obviously I do not know your personal circumstances but you are still of child bearing age and will be for at least another decade on average so it is conceivable (boom boom!) that it could come up, and I am interested in womens perspectives  |
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I dont think it matters at that point. ... as long as they are showing professionalism. . Kindness. ..respect and that they care it doesn't matter what sex they are.. How they make you feel is much more important that what their gender is  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't mind m or f so long as they were good at the job and had enough empathy and humour to put up with me lol.
My uncle was a first class nurse and I know many patients asked for him especially because of his manner.
Many female nurses look after men in urology wards- as they don't have a cock n don't know how it feels should they now look after these guys ??
OP go for it, the training is super hard but if want it you will do it x"
That's lovely encouragement and I certainly appreciate it, I have been informed that it is one of the most difficult courses in the world to take and that it will take commitment of the highest order in order to achieve the qualification but I think I am determined enough to go for it |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
It would not bother me at all. I guess a good brain surgeon needn't to have experienced brain surgery on himself to understand it and have empathy for those having it.
To me I don't think midwives need to have had a baby themselves to be good.
Ps....it is late/early in the morning so hope this makes sence.
I had a male student mudwife durung my first labour. In fact I had lots if students come in to witness what happens when it all goes wrong lol. It didn't bother me.
I didn't care who looked up my bits and pieces during labour at all x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I dont think it matters at that point. ... as long as they are showing professionalism. . Kindness. ..respect and that they care it doesn't matter what sex they are.. How they make you feel is much more important that what their gender is "
I think this is very true; as long as the women feels supported and looked after throughout her pregnancy, labour and childbirth then I would consider my role to be discharged as a midwife. |
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Brilliant career choice OP .. Very rewarding job and wish you all the best.. Ps would have no objections to a male midwife... Loads of Consultant Pediatrics are male and they seen throughout pregnancy ... Wouldn't be any issue to me  good Luck! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" Brilliant career choice OP .. Very rewarding job and wish you all the best.. Ps would have no objections to a male midwife... Loads of Consultant Pediatrics are male and they seen throughout pregnancy ... Wouldn't be any issue to me good Luck! "
Thank you! It is something I am passionate about and believe I could be very good at, I am aware that it would be a massive privilege for me to be invited in to such a precious moment in peoples lives and would accord it the seriousness it deserves. |
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" Brilliant career choice OP .. Very rewarding job and wish you all the best.. Ps would have no objections to a male midwife... Loads of Consultant Pediatrics are male and they seen throughout pregnancy ... Wouldn't be any issue to me good Luck!
Thank you! It is something I am passionate about and believe I could be very good at, I am aware that it would be a massive privilege for me to be invited in to such a precious moment in peoples lives and would accord it the seriousness it deserves."
aww exactly this... Know a cpl of midwifes and they Love their jobs.... Hard work but very rewarding in many aspects |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good luck OP xxc
yep. . Good luck and enjoy. . Any career that people aspire to and enjoy.. usually means that they bring passion and care and enthusiasm to that role and that is priceless! "
Exactly. Some of the best midwives have not done nursing first nor have had babies. One of the best I know is male, he is occasionally refused. I have also witnessed female midwives having women ask for a different midwife .
Good luck, any caring professional involves academic and clinical practice, yes it's hard, but if you want to then you will succeed. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Good luck OP xxc
yep. . Good luck and enjoy. . Any career that people aspire to and enjoy.. usually means that they bring passion and care and enthusiasm to that role and that is priceless!
Exactly. Some of the best midwives have not done nursing first nor have had babies. One of the best I know is male, he is occasionally refused. I have also witnessed female midwives having women ask for a different midwife .
Good luck, any caring professional involves academic and clinical practice, yes it's hard, but if you want to then you will succeed."
This is true, I have known of female midwives being replaced by women due to a feeling of unease or simply due to a clash of personalities...I have always said that as far as I was concerned, if it came up, it is the women's choice as it is their pregnancy, labour etc and it is whatever what makes them most comfortable.
Anything less would be letting them down when they are at their most vulnerable |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Um. Good question.
I'm very, very unlikely ever to need a midwife but I'm not sure how I'd feel.
Logically I don't see why men shouldn't be able to do the job well. I don't know how I'd feel if it was a situation I might encounter.
Obviously I do not know your personal circumstances but you are still of child bearing age and will be for at least another decade on average so it is conceivable (boom boom!) that it could come up, and I am interested in womens perspectives "
I think I'm already past the maximum age at which I'd be happy to have children, I'm overweight and unfit (though otherwise very healthy), I'm single and likely to remain so for the foreseeable future and I don't think I am ideal mother material.
I'm likely not to need the services of a midwife now.
That makes it difficult to make an informed decision. I can't mentally put myself in that situation to consider how I'd feel.
If it's what you want to do, however, and you have the opportunity, I encourage you to do the training and I wish you the best of luck with it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Um. Good question.
I'm very, very unlikely ever to need a midwife but I'm not sure how I'd feel.
Logically I don't see why men shouldn't be able to do the job well. I don't know how I'd feel if it was a situation I might encounter.
Obviously I do not know your personal circumstances but you are still of child bearing age and will be for at least another decade on average so it is conceivable (boom boom!) that it could come up, and I am interested in womens perspectives
I think I'm already past the maximum age at which I'd be happy to have children, I'm overweight and unfit (though otherwise very healthy), I'm single and likely to remain so for the foreseeable future and I don't think I am ideal mother material.
I'm likely not to need the services of a midwife now.
That makes it difficult to make an informed decision. I can't mentally put myself in that situation to consider how I'd feel.
If it's what you want to do, however, and you have the opportunity, I encourage you to do the training and I wish you the best of luck with it."
Thank you, I really appreciate that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As part of my nurse training I had a placement on maternity. After qualifying as a RGN I was going to become a midwife and was exicted to go on the placement, but the welcome I recieved from midwives was appalling and it pur me off it as a career. But as with all professions theres good and bad.
When gaving my kids it wouldnt have bothered me if the midwife was male or female so long as they knew thier job.
The best of luck op if you decide to go for it.
Im a very happy RGN now. Xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think it matters one bit. Anyone who enters a nursing career should be equipped with the skills and personal qualities required for the job.
I have encountered male midwives both professionally and personally and I found their care to be as excellent as their female counterparts.
When you require such care your thoughts should be focused on medical intervention, feeling supported and cared for rather that what gender that person is.
Many gynae consultants are male, that fact doesn't seem to bother women as much.
An excellent career choice OP, may you find it a fulfilling role |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some of the best nurses I know are male.
However I personally wouldn't want a male midwife, I just don't feel I could relax enough around a male midwife I personally would prefer one who's had kids too. I had 2 midwife in my labour one was crap one was amazing. If I had another child I would be more empowered this time to ask for what I want rather than letting the midwife push me into going with her decisions. I will also say that I had to have a sweep from a very cute male consultant and I was mortified!!
My other concern which I see with the male nurses is that Muslim ladies don't allow men to give their care and a lot of younger girls also wouldn't allow it so if all the patients of that time refuse your care your also putting extra work on a usually already understaffed team. |
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I've had my bits prodded and poked by both genders and felt more comfortable/confident in male gynaecologist. However, for childbirth I wouldn't have wanted a man there at all!
Likewise when I see male carer's looking after old women, it seems "wrong" to me. I'd hate to have a man in control when I'm at my most vulnerable, if that makes sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I actually had a male medical student assist at the birth of one of my kids . In a situation like that all you need is someone with confidence that knows what they are doing and can advise and help you. Go for it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It wouldn't worry me. Seems like a good move, as midwives are always in demand.
My GP is male and I'm comfortable talking to him about anything , whereas I have friends who'll only see a female doctor. To be honest, when you're in labour - you just want your baby to arrive safely, so I think whether it's a male or female midwife would make no difference to the majority of women. Some will refuse to have you I imagine, but they might have asked for a different midwife even if you were female.
Good luck OP. |
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I prefer to see equality of opportunity and if we had always had all genders in this role then we would just be used to it and carry on. I know males who work on females bits, and do it wonderfully, so restricting some roles in the medical profession seems silly. Think there is a shortage of mid-people too, so having more trained is great. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How would you feel if you had a (as normal NHS practice) a male gyneacologist or obstetrician?"
I've seen several male gyneacologists. If I hadn't been in so much pain I may have been more embarassed. It was more important they knew their job then their gender for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a Male Midwife with 2 of my 4 Children and to be honest I didn't care what sex they were. They did they're job properly and I was delighted with the whole experience |
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Midwifery is an amazing profession and I think the person doing it is more important than the gender.
I had a male mw around with my first child. Never saw another male one with child 2, 3 or 4, sadly.
As regards to feeling comfortable, I have no issues with male gynaecologists, other doctors etc looking at my genitals - it's all part of the job and I really don't think they're assessing what they're like other than from a professional viewpoint!
OP - if you really want to do it, go for it. A good mw will make or break a labour/ delivery experience for a woman x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My first child was delivered by a male midwife. He was fantastic!! Totally put my husband at ease (chatted about football and stuff) yet the clinical excellence and professionalism was still there. Years later we ended up working together and became great friends. Fast forward to my second delivery by a female midwife - cold, no empathy and spent most of the labour arguing that I wasn't ready to push (I was and i know my own body) So just based on my own experiences yes men can be great midwives. |
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What a great job choice...
when i had my son 11 years ago i was asked if i minded a trainee midwife to be there... he turned out male...
i had no problem what soever.
as long as they can do there job.
he was supportive just as much as the trained female midwife.
i wish you all the best off luck |
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I think a lot of the issues coming up on here could be rectified by having more male midwives,society seeing them as a normal thing. A lot of the issues seen to be around feeling embarrassed that a guy is looking up ya chuff!
Surely you would want the best care for your child and if that happens to be a male midwife then would your embarrassment really come before the care of your child?
If you are in the midst of kabour would you really turn away the person that is going to help you just because he is male?
I've never had kids but hope to one day and if I ever do all I require of my midwife is to be competent at their job and maybe to have good sense of humour but that's not a deal breaker lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had children. Midwives can really help or break the situation. I had all female and 1 of them was horrid, half my age, never had children & too interested in the text book. Safe to say I threw her text book out, had my child in under 20 minutes & ignored
her because i knew what to do.
Its not about the gender its about mindset & support.
Go for it |
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I had a male midwife look after me during part of my first labour, not during delivery at that point. He was very warm and friendly and it didn't seem at all weird.
During my second delivery I had two male consultant obstetricians at the business end plus a midwife whom I'd briefly known at college.
The only time I've ever requested another midwife was when I was being induced the second time and the midwife who came to insert the pessary was a woman I'd known all through high school and college and had been quite friendly with... She came in and said she could get someone else to do it if I'd be more comfortable which saved us both a bit of awkwardness. My best friend from high school also works on the same ward, it's mad lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a lot of the issues coming up on here could be rectified by having more male midwives,society seeing them as a normal thing. A lot of the issues seen to be around feeling embarrassed that a guy is looking up ya chuff!
Surely you would want the best care for your child and if that happens to be a male midwife then would your embarrassment really come before the care of your child?
If you are in the midst of kabour would you really turn away the person that is going to help you just because he is male?
I've never had kids but hope to one day and if I ever do all I require of my midwife is to be competent at their job and maybe to have good sense of humour but that's not a deal breaker lol "
Good point and what if when in labour those that would turn away a male midwife needed help and a male doctor was the only one around ......would they turn him away also? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wouldn't matters to me as long as they can do the job.
I've had 2 midwives both female, the 1st had kids, was sweet but weak when I needed someone to be strong....the 2nd a young, small woman with no kids but she was amazing, told me what I needed to do when I needed to do it & gave me a good talking to when I started to give up!
so I don't think gender is an issue, knowing your job & patients is the main criteria.
good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It wouldnt bother me. To be fair most gynacologists are male. So what difference would a male midwife make. As long as they are good at their job thats all that matters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its a womans job otherwise they would be called midhusbands and why on earth would any man want to be a midwife  "
Are you for real? That has to be a joke unless I have been transported back to the 1950's where gender determined job role. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its a womans job otherwise they would be called midhusbands and why on earth would any man want to be a midwife
Are you for real? That has to be a joke unless I have been transported back to the 1950's where gender determined job role."
Yes im for real and on a swingers site too I think there are too many women doing mens jobs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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During the actual birth part of both my labours I had mega useless cuntish women, would much rather have had a guy (who would most likely be gay) doing it. I was rushed in once with lack of movement and had a gay guy looking after me then, never felt so at ease. Wanted him during my labour but no such luck. Women aren't more able to empathise unless I just had mega fucking arseholes x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With my first had lovely midwife and also a male who stitched me up who was very caring and calming. The second was a woman who I actually told was hurting She was later in the paper for her bad behaviour as a midwife. |
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"During the actual birth part of both my labours I had mega useless cuntish women, would much rather have had a guy (who would most likely be gay) doing it. I was rushed in once with lack of movement and had a gay guy looking after me then, never felt so at ease. Wanted him during my labour but no such luck. Women aren't more able to empathise unless I just had mega fucking arseholes x"
Why would he most likely be gay?  |
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"What do you think of male midwives? To my mind, any male that goes into that profession is likely to be compassionate and empathic to a high degree, so would you compare a male midwife to a female midwife that has never had children and could never understand where you are in labour except empathically? Or would you simply say no based on their lack of uterus? or other? I am trying to be completely impartial in the question as I am trying to elicit responses as I am seriously considering it as a career"
One of my good friends is a gay male who is a midwife. He has little empathy and compassion to someone who is in labour. By his own admission he went into nursing then midwifery because of the hot doctors and fathers to be. 
Good luck though should you take this career path |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"During the actual birth part of both my labours I had mega useless cuntish women, would much rather have had a guy (who would most likely be gay) doing it. I was rushed in once with lack of movement and had a gay guy looking after me then, never felt so at ease. Wanted him during my labour but no such luck. Women aren't more able to empathise unless I just had mega fucking arseholes x
Why would he most likely be gay? "
I was wondering that myself.... |
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"its a womans job otherwise they would be called midhusbands and why on earth would any man want to be a midwife
Are you for real? That has to be a joke unless I have been transported back to the 1950's where gender determined job role.
Yes im for real and on a swingers site too I think there are too many women doing mens jobs."
Ahhh I wondered when you would pop up with your 1950's sexism! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its a womans job otherwise they would be called midhusbands and why on earth would any man want to be a midwife
Are you for real? That has to be a joke unless I have been transported back to the 1950's where gender determined job role.
Yes im for real and on a swingers site too I think there are too many women doing mens jobs."
Well maybe those women are more suited to the job than the men are. I like to think we have evolved where the woman doesn't just have to be the secretary she can be the CEO of the company if she is the best person for the job. Men can be Midwifes, Health Visitors, Nurses whatever they train to be. That is how I am raising my children - aim high, get that top job. My daughter wants to do a 'mans job' and I hope with all my heart she succeeds. People who hark back for the good old days where a womans place was in the home. Good luck to them. I know which world I'd rather live in. Good look OP I am sure you will be successful in your career. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Got to have a male midwife somewhere ... Had one for our second born and he had a wonderful knowledge of the English premiership that kept me and him talking for hours  mr btw!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its a womans job otherwise they would be called midhusbands and why on earth would any man want to be a midwife "
Midwife is a professional title as is nurse.
My male colleagues have to have the same level of compassion and professionalism as their female counterparts, maintaining woman centred care. Sex and sexuality have no direct correlation as to how caring the midwife is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when my son was born I had a very nice lady midwife, all the women who were there were nice to me and I felt relaxed with them but the male doctor was a sadistic bastard who made me nervous. I think women are usualy more compassionate and have more empathy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its a womans job otherwise they would be called midhusbands and why on earth would any man want to be a midwife "
Utter utter rubbish. Are you living in the dark ages or something |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you think of male midwives? To my mind, any male that goes into that profession is likely to be compassionate and empathic to a high degree, so would you compare a male midwife to a female midwife that has never had children and could never understand where you are in labour except empathically? Or would you simply say no based on their lack of uterus? or other? I am trying to be completely impartial in the question as I am trying to elicit responses as I am seriously considering it as a career"
I think male midwives have a lot of prejudice to overcome, and a good midwife does not have had to experience childbirth to be compassionate.
Nowhere in the world health organisation does the definition of a midwife mention gender.
Good luck |
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"its a womans job otherwise they would be called midhusbands and why on earth would any man want to be a midwife "
I'm not sure I have any words. 
What do you think about women who want to be a plumber for example? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I had my daughter I had a female midwife and a male trainee dr, he was wonderful!! Very calm and thrilled to witnesses his first natural birth as the other 5 were c sections! I didn't mind him routing about my bits as it wasn't for sexual purposes! |
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By *enithWoman
over a year ago
closer than you think |
Never had children but seen plenty of gynaecologists all of which have been male ...... had no issues with them as they were all very professional in their jobs
I find it amusing that a female won't let a male professional look and "fiddle" with her but quite happy to let someone they have met on a swingers site do it!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have children, but a male midwife wouldn't bother me at all. I also don't think a female midwife has to have had children to be good at their job either. They both have to be competent, sensible in a crisis and caring and good with people. Don't see why men can't be all of those things.
Go for it OP, a friend of mine recently became a midwife and said it's the best thing she's ever done, she loves her job. |
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"when my son was born I had a very nice lady midwife, all the women who were there were nice to me and I felt relaxed with them but the male doctor was a sadistic bastard who made me nervous. I think women are usualy more compassionate and have more empathy."
The worst Dr I have ever seen was a female! Horrible woman she was. She knew I was waiting to.see her and was visibly in pain but she walked fight past me. I had to vet the receptionist to call her back to come and examine me!
Does that mean I tar all women doctors based on her? Of course not! That would be ridiculous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its a womans job otherwise they would be called midhusbands and why on earth would any man want to be a midwife
I'm not sure I have any words.
What do you think about women who want to be a plumber for example?"
Not sure about that seems a bit strange.
not realy a womans job is it.
I do prefer to see lady vets and dentists though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when my son was born I had a very nice lady midwife, all the women who were there were nice to me and I felt relaxed with them but the male doctor was a sadistic bastard who made me nervous. I think women are usualy more compassionate and have more empathy."
It sounds like you had a bad experience. Like everything though, it doesn't mean every male doctor is like that. Far from it! I took my friend to the hospital the other day and it was a male nurse. He was lovely to her, very gentle and empathic. It's the person and their skills, not their sex, that defines if they can do a job well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when my son was born I had a very nice lady midwife, all the women who were there were nice to me and I felt relaxed with them but the male doctor was a sadistic bastard who made me nervous. I think women are usualy more compassionate and have more empathy.
The worst Dr I have ever seen was a female! Horrible woman she was. She knew I was waiting to.see her and was visibly in pain but she walked fight past me. I had to vet the receptionist to call her back to come and examine me!
Does that mean I tar all women doctors based on her? Of course not! That would be ridiculous. "
No not the same thing as having a baby though is it and of course I have met some lady doctors and nurses who were right old dragons too.
some people may have suffered sexual abuse in the past so having a male midwife would make them feel uncomfortable, less relaxed. |
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"when my son was born I had a very nice lady midwife, all the women who were there were nice to me and I felt relaxed with them but the male doctor was a sadistic bastard who made me nervous. I think women are usualy more compassionate and have more empathy.
The worst Dr I have ever seen was a female! Horrible woman she was. She knew I was waiting to.see her and was visibly in pain but she walked fight past me. I had to vet the receptionist to call her back to come and examine me!
Does that mean I tar all women doctors based on her? Of course not! That would be ridiculous.
No not the same thing as having a baby though is it and of course I have met some lady doctors and nurses who were right old dragons too.
some people may have suffered sexual abuse in the past so having a male midwife would make them feel uncomfortable, less relaxed."
That last bit I can understand and it would be up to the individual to discuss that with whoever needs to know but ypu can't stop men being midwives because of it. Not all sexual abuse happens by men either.
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We had a male midwife with our first baby, he was great, camp, chatty seemed sympathetic,I was in labour for 24 hours he was in and out the hole time he was on shift
Our second baby we had a female midwife, she was lovely to but not as chatty or there as much |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never had children but seen plenty of gynaecologists all of which have been male ...... had no issues with them as they were all very professional in their jobs
I find it amusing that a female won't let a male professional look and "fiddle" with her but quite happy to let someone they have met on a swingers site do it!!
"
The difference being is that you choose to meet men on here, when you are in hospital you don't have a choice who sees you male or female and when someone has suffered from sexual abuse they can get flashbacks because of the environment they are in they don't feel in control which can be very scary.
A lot of people would be too embaresed to mention this to anyone and it can be extremely upsetting to have to actualy talk about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would prefer a woman as they have more empathy and I feel being a woman themselves, even if they hadn't had children, they would understand me more.
Interesting...Why would you assume that a woman would have more empathy? There is actual evidence that shows that male midwifes are more empathic than female midwives (please check google). And how many women understand you obstetrically when they have not had the same experience as you vs how many men understand? Plus, how would you feel if you had a (as normal NHS practice) a male gyneacologist or obstetrician?"
A male and a female who had never given birth would have the exact same degree of empathy, because empathy is the ability to feel what someone is going through as if they were experiencing it as well. The compassion for the pain of another and wish to ease that pain is sympathy, And either men or women are capable of that. I've had both male and female obstetricians and female midwives deliver my children and neither was more empathetic than the other. I will say that the midwives did listen to me more when i talked about what my body was telling me and how soon i thought things were going to happen. I think, though, that that stems more from the fact that doctors are just trained to know 'everything' |
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I have found that as a woman who suffered from a period of chronic unmanageable pain that male medical professionals were inclined to dismiss or disbelieve the level of pain I was in and I believe this was because I'm a woman. I was told to "soldier on" or "try and ignore it". It's for this reason and my direct experience that if I were still of child bearing age I wouldn't want a male midwife. I suspect that if there is evidence to support the fact that pain exists e.g. childbirth it would be different and of course I know that not all men are the same but at a vulnerable time like labour I wouldn't want to have to contend with over riding previous experience as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am sorry to have to disagree with you but it is most certainly not a fact that women have more empathy; in fact it is complete nonsense.
That is a fallacy of the worst kind as it encourages gender bias.
From what I gather from the available evidence, when you are experiencing labour or birth, your midwife can not possibly experience the same whether the midwife be male or female due to everybodies experiences being different and can only empathise...male or female can do this.
If you feel more comfortable with a women then is entirely your choice and is fine, but it is always nice to make an informed choice."
We will have to agree to disagree on the empathy question.
But knowing how painful labour is. To be honest, I could be in the local tesco with the male cashier delivering my baby and wouldn't care one bit.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have found that as a woman who suffered from a period of chronic unmanageable pain that male medical professionals were inclined to dismiss or disbelieve the level of pain I was in and I believe this was because I'm a woman. I was told to "soldier on" or "try and ignore it". It's for this reason and my direct experience that if I were still of child bearing age I wouldn't want a male midwife. I suspect that if there is evidence to support the fact that pain exists e.g. childbirth it would be different and of course I know that not all men are the same but at a vulnerable time like labour I wouldn't want to have to contend with over riding previous experience as well"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always said I would hate having a male midwife. Once I was in labour it could have been a trained monkey and I wouldnt care as long as they knew what they was doing and I was treated respectfully and with as much dignity as possible at the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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taking my mind back to the labours i wouldnt be bothered one jot as long as they got the job done properly - just had a flash thought the guy might stitch you up more nicely but thats just a daft thought lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"taking my mind back to the labours i wouldnt be bothered one jot as long as they got the job done properly - just had a flash thought the guy might stitch you up more nicely but thats just a daft thought lol"
Haha. I never thought of that.
Never been stitched though thank heavens. |
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By *enithWoman
over a year ago
closer than you think |
"Never had children but seen plenty of gynaecologists all of which have been male ...... had no issues with them as they were all very professional in their jobs
I find it amusing that a female won't let a male professional look and "fiddle" with her but quite happy to let someone they have met on a swingers site do it!!
The difference being is that you choose to meet men on here, when you are in hospital you don't have a choice who sees you male or female and when someone has suffered from sexual abuse they can get flashbacks because of the environment they are in they don't feel in control which can be very scary.
A lot of people would be too embaresed to mention this to anyone and it can be extremely upsetting to have to actualy talk about it."
I think you will find that you do have a say in who examines / treats you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once your in full labour they could send a trained chimp in and still all you'd be bothered about is getting this bloody thing out of me
"
Never a truer word said lol!! |
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I have not read the whole thread, just dipped my toes in here and there; the word 'midwife' means 'with woman' which means the person helping and supporting the woman throughout the pregnancy continuum and beyond into childbirth and post-natally whether male or female would be a midwife.
The woman is always in control as it is her labour, body and birth and if she is not happy with her midwife for whatever reason she can change.
Midwives are not Dr's; they specialise in low risk care ideally and refer to consultants / registrars if necessary.
I say go for it to the OP, there are not enough midwives as it is and one more could only be good as long as you bring competence, compassion and caring to it |
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I'm unlikely to ever have children, but should I be in that position, I wouldn't care whether the midwife was male or female, as long as I connected with them to share this time in my life.
I have no preference with gynaecological care either, male or female, as long as they do the job and are good at it, I couldn't give a stuff what gender they are. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"I've had my bits prodded and poked by both genders and felt more comfortable/confident in male gynaecologist. However, for childbirth I wouldn't have wanted a man there at all!
Likewise when I see male carer's looking after old women, it seems "wrong" to me. I'd hate to have a man in control when I'm at my most vulnerable, if that makes sense."
The person being looked after usually gives permission to have a member of the opposite sex to give personal care, if its against their wishes, it doesn't happen.
Go for it OP, I wish you lots of luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had my bits prodded and poked by both genders and felt more comfortable/confident in male gynaecologist. However, for childbirth I wouldn't have wanted a man there at all!
Likewise when I see male carer's looking after old women, it seems "wrong" to me. I'd hate to have a man in control when I'm at my most vulnerable, if that makes sense."
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"I would prefer a woman as they have more empathy and I feel being a woman themselves, even if they hadn't had children, they would understand me more.
Interesting...Why would you assume that a woman would have more empathy? There is actual evidence that shows that male midwifes are more empathic than female midwives (please check google). And how many women understand you obstetrically when they have not had the same experience as you vs how many men understand? Plus, how would you feel if you had a (as normal NHS practice) a male gyneacologist or obstetrician?
It's a fact that women have more empathy.
When I say they would understand me more. I mean because we are both women. We are like minded because we are the same, like my friends.
I would prefer not to have a male midwife. I feel very uneasy when a guy is interfering down there. I never have male drs either. But that's just me. "
It is absolutely NOT a fact women have more empathy x
All you can say is statistically more women possess a high degree of empathy than men
However there indeed are some men vastly more empathic than some women . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wow, there have been loads of messages of support and I deeply appreciate every last one of them. Thank you for being so encouraging and I hope I make a good midwife |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you think of male midwives? To my mind, any male that goes into that profession is likely to be compassionate and empathic to a high degree, so would you compare a male midwife to a female midwife that has never had children and could never understand where you are in labour except empathically? Or would you simply say no based on their lack of uterus? or other? I am trying to be completely impartial in the question as I am trying to elicit responses as I am seriously considering it as a career"
to be honest i don't think empathy or compassion has anything to do with whether you are male or female, had kids or not, that comes from within, you could be a female midwife with 6 kids and just treat it as a job with no compassion
i see no reason why a man cant do the job as well as a woman |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you think of male midwives? To my mind, any male that goes into that profession is likely to be compassionate and empathic to a high degree, so would you compare a male midwife to a female midwife that has never had children and could never understand where you are in labour except empathically? Or would you simply say no based on their lack of uterus? or other? I am trying to be completely impartial in the question as I am trying to elicit responses as I am seriously considering it as a career"
My sister had a male midwife, my brother inlaws face did drop when he came in but he was fantastic. He was rather hot too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow, there have been loads of messages of support and I deeply appreciate every last one of them. Thank you for being so encouraging and I hope I make a good midwife "
My daughter went back to university at the age of thirty and she is now in her second year of a midwifery degree and loving it.
She gave up a highly paid secure job to do so. She may be poorer but her life is richer for it.
I do hope you get your university place and can fulfil your wish. Best of luck. xx |
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"its a womans job otherwise they would be called midhusbands and why on earth would any man want to be a midwife
I'm not sure I have any words.
What do you think about women who want to be a plumber for example?
Not sure about that seems a bit strange.
not realy a womans job is it.
I do prefer to see lady vets and dentists though."
Perhaps in your view but I guess times have changed. I'd like to learn how to weld. I appreciate that I'm a little bit odd but I think if you find something you enjoy doing, why would you not do it? I feel it's sort of old fashioned to think it's wrong in some way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have an uncle who is a midwife, some of the stories he has told me over the years. Both the men and women having different reactions when they find out he is the midwife, threats from blokes and women not being comfortable with him.
half the time though he got better compliments from the family from the way he handled the birth, it changed their idea of him quite a bit. |
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"I have not read the whole thread, just dipped my toes in here and there; the word 'midwife' means 'with woman' which means the person helping and supporting the woman throughout the pregnancy continuum and beyond into childbirth and post-natally whether male or female would be a midwife."
Thankyou for posting this, it had just come back to me where the word midwife came from and I'd come back to post it lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its a womans job otherwise they would be called midhusbands and why on earth would any man want to be a midwife
I'm not sure I have any words.
What do you think about women who want to be a plumber for example?
Not sure about that seems a bit strange.
not realy a womans job is it.
I do prefer to see lady vets and dentists though.
Perhaps in your view but I guess times have changed. I'd like to learn how to weld. I appreciate that I'm a little bit odd but I think if you find something you enjoy doing, why would you not do it? I feel it's sort of old fashioned to think it's wrong in some way. "
Not odd at all. My (now 17) daughter has been able to weld since she was 7, she asked me and I taught her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you think of male midwives? To my mind, any male that goes into that profession is likely to be compassionate and empathic to a high degree, so would you compare a male midwife to a female midwife that has never had children and could never understand where you are in labour except empathically? Or would you simply say no based on their lack of uterus? or other? I am trying to be completely impartial in the question as I am trying to elicit responses as I am seriously considering it as a career"
Go for it i did it for 14 years there are many who refuse usually because of religion and some cos of there husbands don't want it, however its a good career choice if going in new to profession
I left NHS eventually because of management increase and care cost cuts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you think of male midwives? To my mind, any male that goes into that profession is likely to be compassionate and empathic to a high degree, so would you compare a male midwife to a female midwife that has never had children and could never understand where you are in labour except empathically? Or would you simply say no based on their lack of uterus? or other? I am trying to be completely impartial in the question as I am trying to elicit responses as I am seriously considering it as a career"
It wouldn't bother me in the least.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know a male midwife and he has delivered 2 of my closes friend's children. They both said he was much nice and relaxed with them than previous female midwives x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Emilys had female midwives all 5 times but twice complications with births required a surgeon who was mail. Her consultants have been male as is her doctor. I dont think she would bat an eyelid if the midwife was. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when my son was born I had a very nice lady midwife, all the women who were there were nice to me and I felt relaxed with them but the male doctor was a sadistic bastard who made me nervous. I think women are usualy more compassionate and have more empathy.
The worst Dr I have ever seen was a female! Horrible woman she was. She knew I was waiting to.see her and was visibly in pain but she walked fight past me. I had to vet the receptionist to call her back to come and examine me!
Does that mean I tar all women doctors based on her? Of course not! That would be ridiculous.
No not the same thing as having a baby though is it and of course I have met some lady doctors and nurses who were right old dragons too.
some people may have suffered sexual abuse in the past so having a male midwife would make them feel uncomfortable, less relaxed."
You are aware that females can be abusers too, aren't you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when my son was born I had a very nice lady midwife, all the women who were there were nice to me and I felt relaxed with them but the male doctor was a sadistic bastard who made me nervous. I think women are usualy more compassionate and have more empathy.
The worst Dr I have ever seen was a female! Horrible woman she was. She knew I was waiting to.see her and was visibly in pain but she walked fight past me. I had to vet the receptionist to call her back to come and examine me!
Does that mean I tar all women doctors based on her? Of course not! That would be ridiculous.
No not the same thing as having a baby though is it and of course I have met some lady doctors and nurses who were right old dragons too.
some people may have suffered sexual abuse in the past so having a male midwife would make them feel uncomfortable, less relaxed.
You are aware that females can be abusers too, aren't you?"
Yes of course I am, but not as many as there are men. |
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Recent research has shown that there probably is as many female abusers as men, but they have access to younger children and older people that men don't, so can abuse people at an age where they are unable to talk about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Recent research has shown that there probably is as many female abusers as men, but they have access to younger children and older people that men don't, so can abuse people at an age where they are unable to talk about it."
Realy well. you learn something every day don't you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hope everything goes well for you OP. Good luck! It's a very special job.
I wouldnt give a hoot who was delivering my baby. As long as they had all the skills needed. My eldest was delivered by my male consultant. It was a complicated delivery and he was on duty that day. Trouble was half a dozen male student DR's were also witness lol. Good opportunity for them to witness a less straightforward birth. Wouldnt of minded one or two. But half a dozen lol. Never had that many people staring at my foof. Let alone males. I was in no position to protest though. You get so far gone and dignity and everything goes out of the window |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As for males having less empathy. That is nonsense. I work in a proffession which is dominated by women. The few males I have worked with have been amazing, very patient and lots of empathy. Empathy isnt a common skill to come across I feel. Yet it is so important in my role. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you think of male midwives? To my mind, any male that goes into that profession is likely to be compassionate and empathic to a high degree, so would you compare a male midwife to a female midwife that has never had children and could never understand where you are in labour except empathically? Or would you simply say no based on their lack of uterus? or other? I am trying to be completely impartial in the question as I am trying to elicit responses as I am seriously considering it as a career"
I don't think it'd bother me,I was under a male consultant with all 3 of my pregnancies (aswell as a female midwife)
I reckon most women in the middle of labour wouldn't care if their midwife was man or woman,good luck xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Certainly wouldn't bother me. The fact the someone hasn't experienced giving birth doesn't bother me either. I have two children both labours completely different and I dare say that someone else will of had experienced something different to me too.
A make midwife may also bring a calming influence to the soon to be dad. |
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