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Male to female ratio
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There was a side discussion on another thread. The main thread was about how many emails not replied to, and the side discussion was about why there are much more females than males on the site.
I found some of the point raised quite interesting, but couldn't pursue the discussion further because the main thread was terminated.
I'm interested to get people's opinion on the topic.
Below is what's been said so far |
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HandsomeJack said
"Fems are obviously going to get more messages, because they are outnumbered by something like 50 males to 1 fem"
To which I replied
"Why is this so, I mean women being so outnumbered by men.
I don't think they're less interested in sex, not less technology savvy, not less time at hand. So why are there less women?
I really don't understand "
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Nicecouple561 said
"I have no idea why there are fewer women than men actually, that's a very interesting point. Every reason I come up with in my head sounds improbable but could it be that women in general (I stress that)will find it easier to find nsa sex in real life?" |
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Voluptuous Virago said
"I think most women want less sex than most men too. Far more men than women are interested in having multiple partners. Women more often want one long-term partner. That's partly an evolutionary thing. Men want to 'spread their seed' as widely as possible to give their genetic line the best chance of continuing.
Men can father a lot of babies in a year, given a chance. Women can only have one and are more interested in finding good genetic father material and someone who will protect her and their offspring.
Most women don't need sites like this because their needs and wants are different. They can more easily find what they want in daily life or through dating organisations and sites.
There's also the stigma that nice girls don't use sites like this or have casual sex - the slut/stud dichotomy." |
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"Nicecouple561 said
"I have no idea why there are fewer women than men actually, that's a very interesting point. Every reason I come up with in my head sounds improbable but could it be that women in general (I stress that)will find it easier to find nsa sex in real life?""
I'm interested to know what reasons did you (Nicecouple561) come up with, and why is it improbable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is doubly perplexing because APPARENTLY, statistics show, women tend to think about sex with a stranger more than men 
Perhaps testosterone has something to do with it all  |
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"Voluptuous Virago said
"I think most women want less sex than most men too. Far more men than women are interested in having multiple partners. Women more often want one long-term partner. That's partly an evolutionary thing. Men want to 'spread their seed' as widely as possible to give their genetic line the best chance of continuing.
Men can father a lot of babies in a year, given a chance. Women can only have one and are more interested in finding good genetic father material and someone who will protect her and their offspring.
Most women don't need sites like this because their needs and wants are different. They can more easily find what they want in daily life or through dating organisations and sites.
There's also the stigma that nice girls don't use sites like this or have casual sex - the slut/stud dichotomy.""
I always had an inkling that this is the case, but couldn't say it otherwise I'd be labeled sexist or misogynist.
But is it true though, I mean are women really lest interested in sex as you say?
I can see the evolutionary argument, but isn't this then making the case for polygamy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This comment is gonna get me so much stick BUT there have been studies that suggest and I stress suggest NOT prove that the female of the species have a more difficult time separating emotion from sensation when it comes to sex and that they are more monogamous by nature than the male.
Annnnnd now i'm in witness protection 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think another important angle on this is that a lot of women prefer the real tactile world to the virtual cyber world. Whilst men can quickly and easily spot a woman that they might be attracted to via a photo... a woman really needs to meet that person before she can tell if there's any real attraction there. I know it's absolutely awful to say but it's probably true that men could still fuck a woman with an ugly personality if she was pretty enough... whilst women, forgive me if I'm wrong, wouldn't fuck a man with an ugly personality no matter what. So seeing pictures can work for men... whilst it's not necessarily such a good starting point for women... who might prefer to hit a bar and see who they bump into. Just some ideas |
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"Voluptuous Virago said
".... Far more men than women are interested in having multiple partners. Women more often want one long-term partner. That's partly an evolutionary thing. Men want to 'spread their seed' as widely as possible to give their genetic line the best chance of continuing....""
I once came across a saying that went something like this
"A woman wants everything from one man, a man wants one thing from every woman"
Seems to match what VV is suggesting!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think another important angle on this is that a lot of women prefer the real tactile world to the virtual cyber world. Whilst men can quickly and easily spot a woman that they might be attracted to via a photo... a woman really needs to meet that person before she can tell if there's any real attraction there. I know it's absolutely awful to say but it's probably true that men could still fuck a woman with an ugly personality if she was pretty enough... whilst women, forgive me if I'm wrong, wouldn't fuck a man with an ugly personality no matter what. So seeing pictures can work for men... whilst it's not necessarily such a good starting point for women... who might prefer to hit a bar and see who they bump into. Just some ideas"
I'd love to believe that but isn't it the case that most women love a bastard? lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is Mr Two replying, in OUR opinion the couples and single fems on here are gen (apart from the spoofs of course) lots of males just don't understand the scene and come on here for nothing more than a bit of motivation for a J arthur  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is a simple answer for men struggling to meet...book yourself into a clinic for a trans gender op..bingo..come back on as a single woman..if this doesnt appeal..set up a fake profile pretending to be a woman..hope that helps x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is a simple answer for men struggling to meet...book yourself into a clinic for a trans gender op..bingo..come back on as a single woman..if this doesnt appeal..set up a fake profile pretending to be a woman..hope that helps x"
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"This comment is gonna get me so much stick BUT there have been studies that suggest and I stress suggest NOT prove that the female of the species have a more difficult time separating emotion from sensation when it comes to sex and that they are more monogamous by nature than the male.
Annnnnd now i'm in witness protection
"
I see your point. It seems that the point being made so far, loosely at least is that women tend to be monogamous while men tend to be polygamous, or wired or designed, etc.
But if this is indeed the case, wouldn't evolution have ensured that we have a larger number of females than males in the species? say two females for each male. This would then fulfill the mono/poly argument?
Just wondering. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think most women want less sex than most men too. Far more men than women are interested in having multiple partners. Women more often want one long-term partner. That's partly an evolutionary thing. Men want to 'spread their seed' as widely as possible to give their genetic line the best chance of continuing.
Men can father a lot of babies in a year, given a chance. Women can only have one and are more interested in finding good genetic father material and someone who will protect her and their offspring.
Most women don't need sites like this because their needs and wants are different. They can more easily find what they want in daily life or through dating organisations and sites.
There's also the stigma that nice girls don't use sites like this or have casual sex - the slut/stud dichotomy"
I'm beginning to develop an allergic rash to this kind of kindergarten evolutionary thinking. I can't put my finger on it but it just sounds too simplistic and doesn't sit right in my gut.
I think a lot of the ways women act and react today come from them having, until recently, been the 'lesser sex' via cultural programming. Through this they have been trained to look at the world in ways which I believe inhibit their own sexual freedom. For example, as was mentioned, it is easy for a guy to become a stud... but it is still heavily stigmatised for a woman to become a slut. I believe, emerging out of the Victorian period, women have been trained to judge each other on how men are likely to think of them and this has just grown and grown into what is now often a horrible form of female cannibalism attacking each other. You only have to look at women's magazines to see the truth in that.
If you went back in time to the middle ages, or if you look elsewhere to less brainwashed societies, I'm sure you'd find plenty of fun loving women getting plenty of action left right and center.
Evolutionary science is far too often pointed at as a means to normalise something which is actually entirely cultural, and therefore open to change. If you look at lesbians... they plough through partners 10 to the dozen. This suggests that women can be just as promiscuous in their nature as men... but perhaps they just do it in a different way. Some more thoughts |
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"There is a simple answer for men struggling to meet...book yourself into a clinic for a trans gender op..bingo..come back on as a single woman..if this doesnt appeal..set up a fake profile pretending to be a woman..hope that helps x"
Lol, thanks for the advice 
But it's not about meeting though, it's about trying to understand the differences between the two genders.
You might be surprised to know that I haven't contacted anybody on the site for over a year!
I only meet at club. I show up, if I fancy someone and they fancy me, we'll play. Otherwise I'm not bothered. Swinging is not an important part of my life really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"lol there are not more females on the site, ratio is 100 men to 1 woman 
Well spotted!!
My mistake, I did indeed mean much more males than females."
Maybe safety aspects do have alot to do with it, I take alot of risks meeting strange men for a coffee and going back to theirs for nookie.or travelling 2hrs at silly o'clock in the morning on my own from London meets or partys, or walking in a club or party on my lonesome, maybe in reality alot of woman are not brave anough to venture into swingland.it takes balls which some woman have and men do have so there is many more of them |
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"...... whilst women, forgive me if I'm wrong, wouldn't fuck a man with an ugly personality no matter what. So seeing pictures can work for men... whilst it's not necessarily such a good starting point for women... who might prefer to hit a bar and see who they bump into. Just some ideas
I'd love to believe that but isn't it the case that most women love a bastard? lol"
Another way to look at it is that how do you explain women being attracted to a particular body type of man (irrespective of personality), for example BBC.
Also, shows like Chippendales, and the apparant rise in the number of females who watch porn. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Mpassion. I hope your GP can give you something for that rash.
Out of interest, have you links to any research which suggests the evolutionary claims, (which match my own observations of life fairly well), are incorrect? Or are we simply taking the word of your gut and what you *say* is an allergic rash? |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"lol there are not more females on the site, ratio is 100 men to 1 woman
Well spotted!!
My mistake, I did indeed mean much more males than females.
Maybe safety aspects do have alot to do with it, I take alot of risks meeting strange men for a coffee and going back to theirs for nookie.or travelling 2hrs at silly o'clock in the morning on my own from London meets or partys, or walking in a club or party on my lonesome, maybe in reality alot of woman are not brave anough to venture into swingland.it takes balls which some woman have and men do have so there is many more of them "
These are all good points. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is a simple answer for men struggling to meet...book yourself into a clinic for a trans gender op..bingo..come back on as a single woman..if this doesnt appeal..set up a fake profile pretending to be a woman..hope that helps x
Lol, thanks for the advice
But it's not about meeting though, it's about trying to understand the differences between the two genders.
You might be surprised to know that I haven't contacted anybody on the site for over a year!
I only meet at club. I show up, if I fancy someone and they fancy me, we'll play. Otherwise I'm not bothered. Swinging is not an important part of my life really "
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Voluptuous Virago said
"I think most women want less sex than most men too. Far more men than women are interested in having multiple partners. Women more often want one long-term partner. That's partly an evolutionary thing. Men want to 'spread their seed' as widely as possible to give their genetic line the best chance of continuing.
Men can father a lot of babies in a year, given a chance. Women can only have one and are more interested in finding good genetic father material and someone who will protect her and their offspring.
Most women don't need sites like this because their needs and wants are different. They can more easily find what they want in daily life or through dating organisations and sites.
There's also the stigma that nice girls don't use sites like this or have casual sex - the slut/stud dichotomy."
I always had an inkling that this is the case, but couldn't say it otherwise I'd be labeled sexist or misogynist.
But is it true though, I mean are women really lest interested in sex as you say?
I can see the evolutionary argument, but isn't this then making the case for polygamy?"
I don't believe humans are designed to live as monogamous couples. That's a religious and cultural idea.
When men were the breadwinners and women relied on them for security and status, marriages mostly worked because women had to make them work.
Now women have more options and more often have no need to rely on men, it's becoming increasingly clear that the monogamous couple is not a particularly successful model for humans. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"There is a simple answer for men struggling to meet...book yourself into a clinic for a trans gender op..bingo..come back on as a single woman..if this doesnt appeal..set up a fake profile pretending to be a woman..hope that helps x
Lol, thanks for the advice
But it's not about meeting though, it's about trying to understand the differences between the two genders.
You might be surprised to know that I haven't contacted anybody on the site for over a year!
I only meet at club. I show up, if I fancy someone and they fancy me, we'll play. Otherwise I'm not bothered. Swinging is not an important part of my life really "
I'd say there are way more than 2 genders. Gender is a spectrum. Male and female are just two parts of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mpassion. I hope your GP can give you something for that rash.
Out of interest, have you links to any research which suggests the evolutionary claims, (which match my own observations of life fairly well), are incorrect? Or are we simply taking the word of your gut and what you *say* is an allergic rash?"
lol just gut and rash at the mo... which you're quite right.. I must get that seen to lol
I like to think I've got a pretty good track record on sniffing out bullshit and I'm beginning to get quite a strong whiff of it coming from this whole "women are meant to be in the kitchen by evolutionary design and men are meant to be off fucking anything that moves" argument. Just too many coincidences with our conventional sexist and prudish cultural views... and I don't see much evidence in other species of the females being any more monogamous than the males. So I'm calling it... it's bullshit lol
I would say that the female, in it's natural form, is absolutely as promiscuous as the male. I would point at tribal cultures, previous pre-Victorian eras in our own culture, and some interesting indicators in the current lesbian culture. For me good logic has to be water tight... these other views on female behavior suggest the evolutionary argument is a bit leaky
I'm probably totally wrong so feel free to pull me to bits... but I thought it'd be interesting to throw some spanners into the works |
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Many years ago I was on a safari trip and I've noticed that with many mammals you had one male and several females. And males would literaly lock horns if one approached the territory of the other.
Back then, my explanation to myself was evolutionary, after all Darwin (at least for some people) has kicked god out and took his place. The justification was that mammals take a relatively long time in gestation and child rearing, during which the species is at risk because of the limited opportunity of the female to make more offsprings, hence as mentioned above by someone else, the male tends to have many females.
It's all for the sake of the species, see how much we sacrifice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Many years ago I was on a safari trip and I've noticed that with many mammals you had one male and several females. And males would literaly lock horns if one approached the territory of the other.
Back then, my explanation to myself was evolutionary, after all Darwin (at least for some people) has kicked god out and took his place. The justification was that mammals take a relatively long time in gestation and child rearing, during which the species is at risk because of the limited opportunity of the female to make more offsprings, hence as mentioned above by someone else, the male tends to have many females.
It's all for the sake of the species, see how much we sacrifice "
But the minute that male is challenged... guess what? The females go off and fuck some other male. They are not being monogamous by choice. Their males are controlling and repressing their polyamorous urges |
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"
But the minute that male is challenged... guess what? The females go off and fuck some other male. They are not being monogamous by choice. Their males are controlling and repressing their polyamorous urges "
Fair point, absolutely
Never occured to me, but yes, makes perfect sense
although I wouldn't put so crudely
but rather I'd say, they'd go seek protection from another male, but hey ho, each to their own! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sure I've read somewhere about how one male's sperm will fight off another male's sperm inside the uterus (google 'sperm competition')... and also there's new evidence that suggests that the egg has a role to play in choosing the sperm.
These attributes would suggest that a woman's uterus is used to having more than one male's cum in it... in evolutionary terms that is... the smoking gun I'd say |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"HandsomeJack said
"Fems are obviously going to get more messages, because they are outnumbered by something like 50 males to 1 fem"
To which I replied So why are there less women?
I really don't understand "
"
It's pretty easy really, it's fewer, not less. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I thought VV and I did some fairly shaky research on this a few months back. Although it was based on our own areas and only took in women/men who had logged in within the last month it came out at between 7-10 to 1.
Guys who like to throw in the 100-1 figure are just trying to make themselves feel better for getting nowt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I thought VV and I did some fairly shaky research on this a few months back. Although it was based on our own areas and only took in women/men who had logged in within the last month it came out at between 7-10 to 1.
Guys who like to throw in the 100-1 figure are just trying to make themselves feel better for getting nowt. "
Not bad odds at all! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I also think it's often a confidence thing. I have a few non-swinging friends who barely have the confidence to get in their bikini on the beach, let alone come on a site like this. Men seem a lot less susceptible to such insecurities. Plus they don't give birth to children changing their bodies dramatically too. |
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