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What makes a house a home?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As much as i do like cats, they are an expense i cant afford (feeding, worming, jabs, insurance)
i do have 3 goldfish and a 4 yr old that are alive.. might get some plants/flowers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's the people in it, after that I guess it's home comforts.
Maybe you're feeling unsettled about some aspect of your life at the moment and that's making your home feel different to you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it's the people in it, after that I guess it's home comforts.
Maybe you're feeling unsettled about some aspect of your life at the moment and that's making your home feel different to you. "
im coming out of a long spell of depression what i was completely oblivious too.. i neglected this flat
im having a deep clean and throwing out so much crap that id just built up.. maybe its just the chemical smells from the cleaners, the emptiness where it was once full (of shit cheap stuff)..
its satisfying to be rid of that part of my life, but im now being left with a shell i no longer recognise |
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"I think it's the people in it, after that I guess it's home comforts.
Maybe you're feeling unsettled about some aspect of your life at the moment and that's making your home feel different to you.
im coming out of a long spell of depression what i was completely oblivious too.. i neglected this flat
im having a deep clean and throwing out so much crap that id just built up.. maybe its just the chemical smells from the cleaners, the emptiness where it was once full (of shit cheap stuff)..
its satisfying to be rid of that part of my life, but im now being left with a shell i no longer recognise "
buy more stuff
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The people in it. My ex hated coming home to an empty house. Also a nice homely smell-at this time of year I like warm smells. Although I don't like photos everywhere myself a lot of people do |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Art or pictures on walls
, and fairy lights!  "
Actually my flat has no art work on the walls.. i'll plenty of pictures i could frame..
Also my room is the storage room,, ironing board, hoover, even the mop n bucket. its not relaxing or inviting. its function is just a place for me to dress and sleep.
Maybe i need it to be my escape |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's the people in it, after that I guess it's home comforts.
Maybe you're feeling unsettled about some aspect of your life at the moment and that's making your home feel different to you.
im coming out of a long spell of depression what i was completely oblivious too.. i neglected this flat
im having a deep clean and throwing out so much crap that id just built up.. maybe its just the chemical smells from the cleaners, the emptiness where it was once full (of shit cheap stuff)..
its satisfying to be rid of that part of my life, but im now being left with a shell i no longer recognise "
That makes perfect sense. When you're in that dark place, you don't notice your surroundings with as much clarity as you will now you're starting to feel better. You're starting afresh now. I like orchids and they always look pretty. Maybe some scented candles to mask the smell of cleaning products. Fresh flowers too. It'll soon feel like home again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having been displaced this year by an arson attack while we slept upstairs we feel that we re pretty qualified to answer this one .A home is created by the comfort and the memories you and your family enjoy there you don't know what you ve lost till it's gone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People make a house a home.but when people part the house feels empty.you have to fill the silence with music and friends. Life is to short to be unhappy so try to enjoy and be content with who you are xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Art or pictures on walls
, and fairy lights!
Actually my flat has no art work on the walls.. i'll plenty of pictures i could frame..
Also my room is the storage room,, ironing board, hoover, even the mop n bucket. its not relaxing or inviting. its function is just a place for me to dress and sleep.
Maybe i need it to be my escape "
my bedroom was my sanctuary when my depression was at it's worse. I had everything in neutral colours and plain. As I got better I changed to warmer shades and a butterfly Tiffany style lamp. I always kept my bedlinen fresh and the room smelling nice. No tv just books. Next I'm going yellow to feel like sunshine all year round |
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A chair is still a chair
Even when there's no one sitting there
But a chair is not a house
And a house is not a home
When there's no one there to hold you tight,
And no one there you can kiss good night.
A room is still a room
Even when there's nothing there but gloom;
But a room is not a house,
And a house is not a home
When the two of us are far apart
And one of us has a broken heart.
Now and then I call your name
And suddenly your face appears
But it's just a crazy game
When it ends it ends in tears.
Darling, have a heart,
Don't let one mistake keep us apart.
I'm not meant to live alone. turn this house into a home.
When I climb the stair and turn the key,
Oh, please be there still in love with me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having another living thing in the house does make a difference. If not a cat what about a goldfish or hamster or something? Has always really helped make the difference between a place and home for me.
Or for inanimate objects then photos, magnetic letters on the fridge and a furry blanket. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
my bedroom was my sanctuary when my depression was at it's worse. I had everything in neutral colours and plain. As I got better I changed to warmer shades and a butterfly Tiffany style lamp. I always kept my bedlinen fresh and the room smelling nice. No tv just books. Next I'm going yellow to feel like sunshine all year round "
i dont have a TV in my room, i just go there to sleep. My flat is generally magnolia so neutral.. i do like colour though. Fresh flowers and scented candles i think should be my personal little treats |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
my bedroom was my sanctuary when my depression was at it's worse. I had everything in neutral colours and plain. As I got better I changed to warmer shades and a butterfly Tiffany style lamp. I always kept my bedlinen fresh and the room smelling nice. No tv just books. Next I'm going yellow to feel like sunshine all year round
i dont have a TV in my room, i just go there to sleep. My flat is generally magnolia so neutral.. i do like colour though. Fresh flowers and scented candles i think should be my personal little treats "
Candles aren't too expensive and some are pretty too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sorry missed the bit where you already have fish, silly me!"
They are new to the family, but i got them before i started with the big clean/spruce up so still not sure how im feeling about them,, they kinda keep me company at night though |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Company. Coming home to someone. I have cats but they can't replace that. I can't download my shit day to them and have them tell me I'm right and they're wrong even if I'm not lol "
Id love to have that one day.. love my daughter to the stars and back but i crave company so much when she is in the land of nod. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Set yourself a project, decorate your room. Doesn't have to be costly, I scour eBay for cheapy bits, make cushion covers from any old scraps ( I have used clothes, fabric placemats, teatowels..)The first thing I did when my husband moved out was decorate my bedroom, id not had a nice bedroom before as it wasn't 'priority' over the rest of the house. |
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"Company. Coming home to someone. I have cats but they can't replace that. I can't download my shit day to them and have them tell me I'm right and they're wrong even if I'm not lol
Id love to have that one day.. love my daughter to the stars and back but i crave company so much when she is in the land of nod. "
see I'm the other way round. Couldn't imagine having a human here all the time, guess I'm just happy with my own company
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"Company. Coming home to someone. I have cats but they can't replace that. I can't download my shit day to them and have them tell me I'm right and they're wrong even if I'm not lol
Id love to have that one day.. love my daughter to the stars and back but i crave company so much when she is in the land of nod. see I'm the other way round. Couldn't imagine having a human here all the time, guess I'm just happy with my own company
"
I'm OK on my own. I have to be but for me its just existing on my own. |
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"Company. Coming home to someone. I have cats but they can't replace that. I can't download my shit day to them and have them tell me I'm right and they're wrong even if I'm not lol
Id love to have that one day.. love my daughter to the stars and back but i crave company so much when she is in the land of nod. see I'm the other way round. Couldn't imagine having a human here all the time, guess I'm just happy with my own company
I'm OK on my own. I have to be but for me its just existing on my own. "
that sounds a really sad way to be, just existing
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"Company. Coming home to someone. I have cats but they can't replace that. I can't download my shit day to them and have them tell me I'm right and they're wrong even if I'm not lol
Id love to have that one day.. love my daughter to the stars and back but i crave company so much when she is in the land of nod. see I'm the other way round. Couldn't imagine having a human here all the time, guess I'm just happy with my own company
I'm OK on my own. I have to be but for me its just existing on my own. that sounds a really sad way to be, just existing
"
Maybe that was a bit dramatic lol I have a good life, a busy life. I'd just like to come home to someone from time to time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Set yourself a project, decorate your room. Doesn't have to be costly, I scour eBay for cheapy bits, make cushion covers from any old scraps ( I have used clothes, fabric placemats, teatowels..)The first thing I did when my husband moved out was decorate my bedroom, id not had a nice bedroom before as it wasn't 'priority' over the rest of the house."
Paint a feature wall/ get a bright new duvet cover. Ask your little one to draw some pictures for you. Take some photo's and make a big photo collage from fun days out you've had.
When you've cleaned it all, open the windows and blow the chemicals away. Candles and scent diffusers are nice. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
OP, I'm sorry you are feeling lonely in your flat. It will never feel like home if you think of it as the lonely place you exist that keeps the weather out.
Home is about the memories you make there. Home is about the safety and comfort you feel there. Home is about the sense of it being a reflection of you and those with whom you share the space.
As you leave depression the you changes. Embrace the change and build a new home within the existing flat.
Good luck.
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You make your house a home. Surround yourself with bits and bins that you love. Photos of your little one, flowers, pictures, postcards, lamps and candles rather than the big light. I send nonsense post. I have snail mail friends and I'm in a postcard club and a random act of silliness club. I get stuff through the post. It doesn't need to be expensive. There's a lot you can do with not very much. I have random shit I've picked up at a junk yard or I've made. I like old fashioned things with stories of previous lives and if they don't have a story then I imagine one. My bathroom door handles are old fashioned bath taps with hot and cold on them. I like quirky stuff and the thing I've heard most from visitors is that my flat is cosy.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What makes a house a home is leaving an imprint of yourself in it, an individual thing.
I have tapestries on my walls bought from abroad, jade turtle ornaments from Zante, Maltese thinking man, photographs on the walls that I've personally taken, canvasses of New York made from photographs that I took, photographs of my beloved springer spaniels. Thats just my memorabilia, we have 3 other people in the house who also have their own individual things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Getting it just how you like it. Or as near as you can. When it rains. Taking a shower. Putting your jammies on . Sitting on your sofa with a hot chocolate or wine. Watch a good film. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have always found 'home' to be a state of mind. It is not necessarily where you live; it could be your parents house or an ex's house or somewhere different from your current abode.
It is where you feel most comfortable and happy. If you do not feel that where you are currently living then you are not 'home' by my definition. Find somewhere where you feel comfortable and have that 'aaaaaah' feeling...THAT is home |
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Make it as comfortable as possible for YOU, as part of personalising it. If you live alone, cats really do help- they are masters at relaxing and you do the same in rapport - they make you feel needed, welcome etc. Overall, alongside comfort - which may just be making it cosy, add things that reflect you. Make sure the layout works, shift things so its right for you and not an irritant. And make sure you have good experiences there - lots of pleasure and fun in all its forms. Mine is my retreat from the world, a haven of rest and calm. Hope you can work it out! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A house filled with laughter and love is a home.
A home tells a story, from the people who share in it to the things which are placed in it. I have a home full of objects which tell the story of who I am, which have history. Sometimes I can stop and look at something and remember its history with me and it makes me smile. |
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By *omMLMan
over a year ago
The Centre of the Universe |
It is about making the place feel like home for you. A place that warms your heart and improves your mood. Candles, fairy lights, paintings, pictures and quirky cushions are all great ideas. Get your child to make different words every day with the fridge magnets. Read, listen to your favourite music and watch comedy or drama on TV. Play games and invite people over for a meal. Good luck OP and hope your feeling sunny soon. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks all for the posts and messages.. i love my daughters room it was the only room ive injected personality into.
Rest are just functional but not welcoming. As finances allow i will indulge in small nik naks to remove the harshness of the walls im surrounded by.
Ive been here for 4 years but the past 2 were horrible.. new fresh start is needed and each day im cleaning and sorting. Theraputic (doubt thats spelt right) in a way to get rid of the bad times |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Thanks all for the posts and messages.. i love my daughters room it was the only room ive injected personality into.
Rest are just functional but not welcoming. As finances allow i will indulge in small nik naks to remove the harshness of the walls im surrounded by.
Ive been here for 4 years but the past 2 were horrible.. new fresh start is needed and each day im cleaning and sorting. Theraputic (doubt thats spelt right) in a way to get rid of the bad times "
Read your first paragraph here out loud. Your answer is there. That room is home.
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