FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Time wasters ?
Time wasters ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why do so many chat like sweetie wife's then a day or 2 before a meet stop talking and do not answer messages ?  May have gone off the idea?"
Even though they are keen as mustard ? I see it more on this site that some folk can't wait for a proper meet say 6-10 days away and they want a quick f8ck as soon as possible . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately it is par for the course on here just have to move on and hope you find someone who wants to actually meet. It has happened to us a few times but got to persevere x |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Why do so many chat like sweetie wife's then a day or 2 before a meet stop talking and do not answer messages ? May have gone off the idea?
Even though they are keen as mustard ? I see it more on this site that some folk can't wait for a proper meet say 6-10 days away and they want a quick f8ck as soon as possible ."
Always interesting getting different peoples opinions as to what is a time waster and what isn't, some people get off on the anticipation, and get their rocks off and go off the boil. Have you made firm arrangements and they didn't turn up? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why do so many chat like sweetie wife's then a day or 2 before a meet stop talking and do not answer messages ? May have gone off the idea?
Even though they are keen as mustard ? I see it more on this site that some folk can't wait for a proper meet say 6-10 days away and they want a quick f8ck as soon as possible .Always interesting getting different peoples opinions as to what is a time waster and what isn't, some people get off on the anticipation, and get their rocks off and go off the boil. Have you made firm arrangements and they didn't turn up? "
I made an arrangement and a set date 3 times now and then they blank me and stop answering messages even though we all know if you look at the last message you sent you can read a new message without it showing as beig read. It seems they want to meet that night or not interested lol. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Why do so many chat like sweetie wife's then a day or 2 before a meet stop talking and do not answer messages ? May have gone off the idea?
Even though they are keen as mustard ? I see it more on this site that some folk can't wait for a proper meet say 6-10 days away and they want a quick f8ck as soon as possible .Always interesting getting different peoples opinions as to what is a time waster and what isn't, some people get off on the anticipation, and get their rocks off and go off the boil. Have you made firm arrangements and they didn't turn up?
I made an arrangement and a set date 3 times now and then they blank me and stop answering messages even though we all know if you look at the last message you sent you can read a new message without it showing as beig read. It seems they want to meet that night or not interested lol."
I am sure its frustrating, but in my opinion, its not a timewaster, if its happened a lot, you will be able to spot the pattern and avoid. x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To me that's not time wasting as you'd probably be on here chatting anyway, frustrating as it is, it happens a lot on here. A time waster, to me, is someone you've made definite plans to meet, taken time off, swapped shifts, child care etc then spent time getting ready and travelled to the venue only to have a no show. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people want it there and then or not at all but surely getting to know someone first and seeing what buttons each like being pressed is a lot more fun  spontaneous meets can be horny as hell too though  |
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I think some people like the thought of meeting a stranger for no strings sex, and get excited chatting to someone about meeting, but when the time comes they just chicken out at the last minute, I have never chickened out so come get me girls  lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that's not time wasting as you'd probably be on here chatting anyway, frustrating as it is, it happens a lot on here. A time waster, to me, is someone you've made definite plans to meet, taken time off, swapped shifts, child care etc then spent time getting ready and travelled to the venue only to have a no show."
I disagree I think it is a timewaster especially when, as with the last one who did it to me, you had turned down others because your expecting them then just before the day arrives...silence. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I've had guys repeatedly ask for spontaneous meets, when told that I don't do them but will meet with a couple of days notice, disappear only to reappear and ask again a week or two later.
They want instant meets; I don't. They think they'll persuade me or eventually I'll give in; I won't.
It's how it is on here sometimes. Everyone wants something different, people change their minds, life gets in the way. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"To me that's not time wasting as you'd probably be on here chatting anyway, frustrating as it is, it happens a lot on here. A time waster, to me, is someone you've made definite plans to meet, taken time off, swapped shifts, child care etc then spent time getting ready and travelled to the venue only to have a no show.
I disagree I think it is a timewaster especially when, as with the last one who did it to me, you had turned down others because your expecting them then just before the day arrives...silence."
People are entitled to change their mind. Frustrating but that's how it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its easy to spot a timewaster, they always chat about sex and when you ask what day can you meet on and where they live, they never reply to that.. or you always have to ask questions and they never asks you anything lol. |
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Because a lot of them LIKE the idea that they're the hot man/woman but when it comes to it, they really are just dreaming and getting off thinking of how good they imagine they are but reality is different. So why allow reality to get in the way of imagination. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that's not time wasting as you'd probably be on here chatting anyway, frustrating as it is, it happens a lot on here. A time waster, to me, is someone you've made definite plans to meet, taken time off, swapped shifts, child care etc then spent time getting ready and travelled to the venue only to have a no show.
I disagree I think it is a timewaster especially when, as with the last one who did it to me, you had turned down others because your expecting them then just before the day arrives...silence."
I can't see how they've wasted your time although we all have differing views on what constitutes one. Some of the people you were chatting to then turned down may think you have wasted their time. This sort of thing happens a lot on here, people change their mind for whatever reason and some don't have the confidence just to say. If you're on here chatting to potential meets anyway I can't see how its time wasting but like I say, we all have differing views as to what time wasting is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because a lot of them LIKE the idea that they're the hot man/woman but when it comes to it, they really are just dreaming and getting off thinking of how good they imagine they are but reality is different. So why allow reality to get in the way of imagination. "
I agree there they are dreamers lol.
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By *oody39Man
over a year ago
tunbridge wells |
"Why do so many chat like sweetie wife's then a day or 2 before a meet stop talking and do not answer messages ? "
I think your opening line may be a clue, sweetie wife??
Quite possibly that have a wife ad can't get away.
Hell if I was closer I'd happily meet you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It always makes ups smile when people moan about someone changing their mind about meeting. Maybe its people suss out that they are just not the type they are interested in and realise after a few messages. |
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By *DFL6828Man
over a year ago
Leicester |
The time wasters make it harder for us who are trying to get meets even harder. Tho i have had that when i was on another site. What i did then was messaged them 2 hours before, if i get no response then i don't bother |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that's not time wasting as you'd probably be on here chatting anyway, frustrating as it is, it happens a lot on here. A time waster, to me, is someone you've made definite plans to meet, taken time off, swapped shifts, child care etc then spent time getting ready and travelled to the venue only to have a no show.
I disagree I think it is a timewaster especially when, as with the last one who did it to me, you had turned down others because your expecting them then just before the day arrives...silence.
I can't see how they've wasted your time although we all have differing views on what constitutes one. Some of the people you were chatting to then turned down may think you have wasted their time. This sort of thing happens a lot on here, people change their mind for whatever reason and some don't have the confidence just to say. If you're on here chatting to potential meets anyway I can't see how its time wasting but like I say, we all have differing views as to what time wasting is. "
Because I could have had somebody else come. But I was expecting them. So because they didnt come I had no meet. Our time was wasted sat here alone when, had they just said sorry not coming rather than ignoring us, we would have had time to make alternate arrangements. Simples. Our time wasted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that's not time wasting as you'd probably be on here chatting anyway, frustrating as it is, it happens a lot on here. A time waster, to me, is someone you've made definite plans to meet, taken time off, swapped shifts, child care etc then spent time getting ready and travelled to the venue only to have a no show.
I disagree I think it is a timewaster especially when, as with the last one who did it to me, you had turned down others because your expecting them then just before the day arrives...silence.
I can't see how they've wasted your time although we all have differing views on what constitutes one. Some of the people you were chatting to then turned down may think you have wasted their time. This sort of thing happens a lot on here, people change their mind for whatever reason and some don't have the confidence just to say. If you're on here chatting to potential meets anyway I can't see how its time wasting but like I say, we all have differing views as to what time wasting is.
Because I could have had somebody else come. But I was expecting them. So because they didnt come I had no meet. Our time was wasted sat here alone when, had they just said sorry not coming rather than ignoring us, we would have had time to make alternate arrangements. Simples. Our time wasted."
Have a back up plan At least you hadn't booked a hotel or travelled anywhere. I always txt or call a meet the morning of the meet assuming its in the evening or the day before if a daytime meet. If I hear nothing, I make alternative arrangements. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not a sin to change your mind it is stupid though to have sex with someone through pressure. "
Totally agree. I only meet socially first, no pressure, no expectations. Although not all meets have gone further than a social, I haven't been let down in 3 years and have made some great friends. I think some get cold feet at the thought of having to perform so they bottle it. |
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"Its easy to spot a timewaster, they always chat about sex and when you ask what day can you meet on and where they live, they never reply to that.. or you always have to ask questions and they never asks you anything lol."
yep I concur with you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not a sin to change your mind it is stupid though to have sex with someone through pressure. "
Nobody said it was but how hard is it to send a message saying "sorry changed my mind"... That is the point some people miss. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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wouldn't be surprised if they've met someone who excites them more and managed to get a meet with them on the same day they arranged with you, and it is rude/bad manners os is probably why they don't say anything.
i never arrange meets unless i know for sure i can turn up, also that means if i fancy someone else instead before i am available then i don't need to tell anyone i changed my mind haha. plus i have a bad memory so can't arrange in advance anything much in case i forget what i arranged.
i don't wanna be a time waster either, more for my own sake coz i don't have much free time right now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bad thing i find is if your new to the site like me you automatically get thought of as a time waster thats a bit unfair maybe in some cases new members do change there minds but not all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would agree time wasting is where definite plans, social or otherwise, have been made and 1 party doesn't show. Chats do break down or lead to dead ends sometimes. No big deal! Interest and attraction has to flow both ways IMHO |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that's not time wasting as you'd probably be on here chatting anyway, frustrating as it is, it happens a lot on here. A time waster, to me, is someone you've made definite plans to meet, taken time off, swapped shifts, child care etc then spent time getting ready and travelled to the venue only to have a no show.
I disagree I think it is a timewaster especially when, as with the last one who did it to me, you had turned down others because your expecting them then just before the day arrives...silence.
I can't see how they've wasted your time although we all have differing views on what constitutes one. Some of the people you were chatting to then turned down may think you have wasted their time. This sort of thing happens a lot on here, people change their mind for whatever reason and some don't have the confidence just to say. If you're on here chatting to potential meets anyway I can't see how its time wasting but like I say, we all have differing views as to what time wasting is.
Because I could have had somebody else come. But I was expecting them. So because they didnt come I had no meet. Our time was wasted sat here alone when, had they just said sorry not coming rather than ignoring us, we would have had time to make alternate arrangements. Simples. Our time wasted.
Have a back up plan At least you hadn't booked a hotel or travelled anywhere. I always txt or call a meet the morning of the meet assuming its in the evening or the day before if a daytime meet. If I hear nothing, I make alternative arrangements. "
What do you mean by back up plan? Have another person waiting as a plan b? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that's not time wasting as you'd probably be on here chatting anyway, frustrating as it is, it happens a lot on here. A time waster, to me, is someone you've made definite plans to meet, taken time off, swapped shifts, child care etc then spent time getting ready and travelled to the venue only to have a no show.
I disagree I think it is a timewaster especially when, as with the last one who did it to me, you had turned down others because your expecting them then just before the day arrives...silence.
I can't see how they've wasted your time although we all have differing views on what constitutes one. Some of the people you were chatting to then turned down may think you have wasted their time. This sort of thing happens a lot on here, people change their mind for whatever reason and some don't have the confidence just to say. If you're on here chatting to potential meets anyway I can't see how its time wasting but like I say, we all have differing views as to what time wasting is.
Because I could have had somebody else come. But I was expecting them. So because they didnt come I had no meet. Our time was wasted sat here alone when, had they just said sorry not coming rather than ignoring us, we would have had time to make alternate arrangements. Simples. Our time wasted.
Have a back up plan At least you hadn't booked a hotel or travelled anywhere. I always txt or call a meet the morning of the meet assuming its in the evening or the day before if a daytime meet. If I hear nothing, I make alternative arrangements.
What do you mean by back up plan? Have another person waiting as a plan b?"
Nope, I'd plan a club meet on my own so if there was a no show at least I can go out and have fun, whether its just social or fun. I have to sort child care for meets so if I get a last minute cancellation, I'll still make the most of my time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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whether genuine or not:
I will NOT wait to dicover if I'm chosen.
I have plenty of people I wish to meet...
so lets say midweek..a woman/cpl message be back saying they are looking for weekend fun.
great.
I say I should be free
nothing has been made definite has it?
should I wait till the weekend to discover if I have been chosen?..will I fuck!-my time is as important as anyone elses..thats a fact. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that's not time wasting as you'd probably be on here chatting anyway, frustrating as it is, it happens a lot on here. A time waster, to me, is someone you've made definite plans to meet, taken time off, swapped shifts, child care etc then spent time getting ready and travelled to the venue only to have a no show.
I disagree I think it is a timewaster especially when, as with the last one who did it to me, you had turned down others because your expecting them then just before the day arrives...silence.
I can't see how they've wasted your time although we all have differing views on what constitutes one. Some of the people you were chatting to then turned down may think you have wasted their time. This sort of thing happens a lot on here, people change their mind for whatever reason and some don't have the confidence just to say. If you're on here chatting to potential meets anyway I can't see how its time wasting but like I say, we all have differing views as to what time wasting is.
Because I could have had somebody else come. But I was expecting them. So because they didnt come I had no meet. Our time was wasted sat here alone when, had they just said sorry not coming rather than ignoring us, we would have had time to make alternate arrangements. Simples. Our time wasted.
Have a back up plan At least you hadn't booked a hotel or travelled anywhere. I always txt or call a meet the morning of the meet assuming its in the evening or the day before if a daytime meet. If I hear nothing, I make alternative arrangements.
What do you mean by back up plan? Have another person waiting as a plan b?
Nope, I'd plan a club meet on my own so if there was a no show at least I can go out and have fun, whether its just social or fun. I have to sort child care for meets so if I get a last minute cancellation, I'll still make the most of my time. "
Good plan. I do the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that's not time wasting as you'd probably be on here chatting anyway, frustrating as it is, it happens a lot on here. A time waster, to me, is someone you've made definite plans to meet, taken time off, swapped shifts, child care etc then spent time getting ready and travelled to the venue only to have a no show.
I disagree I think it is a timewaster especially when, as with the last one who did it to me, you had turned down others because your expecting them then just before the day arrives...silence.
I can't see how they've wasted your time although we all have differing views on what constitutes one. Some of the people you were chatting to then turned down may think you have wasted their time. This sort of thing happens a lot on here, people change their mind for whatever reason and some don't have the confidence just to say. If you're on here chatting to potential meets anyway I can't see how its time wasting but like I say, we all have differing views as to what time wasting is.
Because I could have had somebody else come. But I was expecting them. So because they didnt come I had no meet. Our time was wasted sat here alone when, had they just said sorry not coming rather than ignoring us, we would have had time to make alternate arrangements. Simples. Our time wasted.
Have a back up plan At least you hadn't booked a hotel or travelled anywhere. I always txt or call a meet the morning of the meet assuming its in the evening or the day before if a daytime meet. If I hear nothing, I make alternative arrangements.
What do you mean by back up plan? Have another person waiting as a plan b?
Nope, I'd plan a club meet on my own so if there was a no show at least I can go out and have fun, whether its just social or fun. I have to sort child care for meets so if I get a last minute cancellation, I'll still make the most of my time.
Good plan. I do the same. "
But we cant go to clubs as stated in our profile. If they no show the most we can do is try to get a last minute meet with somebody we dont know or have not had time to chat with. So our planned meet becomes coco and a dvd on our own. Sure thats not as bad as the folks who have travelled or shelled out for a hotel. But if they had given us notice they were not going to make the meet we would have had more time to contact friends, or get to know somebody new.
I agree with the poster who said he wont sit and wait to see if hes chosen we wouldnt expect anyone to. We are talking about the ones who say they need to plan meets a couple of weeks in advance due to child care/work etc. Set a date and time, then two or three days before....silence. Now if that happens we send one last message asking if they are coming and if its ignored we look elsewhere. But when we first joined we used to worry they would still show and so would the new meet we had arranged and we would look bad. Now I say if you wanna go silent before the meet then do turn up tough if you find we moved on its not our fault you couldnt be bothered to confirm  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always meet socially for a first meet for many reasons. Never had a no show but a few have gone quiet when sending a message to confirm it or cancelled last minute with some dubious excuses but its not big deal. However, with this approach, a planned meet after a social, we have never been let down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its easy to spot a timewaster, they always chat about sex and when you ask what day can you meet on and where they live, they never reply to that.. or you always have to ask questions and they never asks you anything lol."
This sums it up perfectly!
Sometimes we are accused of being time-wasters as we cant meet at the drop of a hat.
My husband works all over the country sometimes and meetings have to be made around when he is home and I am not working.
xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that's not time wasting as you'd probably be on here chatting anyway, frustrating as it is, it happens a lot on here. A time waster, to me, is someone you've made definite plans to meet, taken time off, swapped shifts, child care etc then spent time getting ready and travelled to the venue only to have a no show.
I disagree I think it is a timewaster especially when, as with the last one who did it to me, you had turned down others because your expecting them then just before the day arrives...silence.
I can't see how they've wasted your time although we all have differing views on what constitutes one. Some of the people you were chatting to then turned down may think you have wasted their time. This sort of thing happens a lot on here, people change their mind for whatever reason and some don't have the confidence just to say. If you're on here chatting to potential meets anyway I can't see how its time wasting but like I say, we all have differing views as to what time wasting is.
Because I could have had somebody else come. But I was expecting them. So because they didnt come I had no meet. Our time was wasted sat here alone when, had they just said sorry not coming rather than ignoring us, we would have had time to make alternate arrangements. Simples. Our time wasted.
Have a back up plan At least you hadn't booked a hotel or travelled anywhere. I always txt or call a meet the morning of the meet assuming its in the evening or the day before if a daytime meet. If I hear nothing, I make alternative arrangements.
What do you mean by back up plan? Have another person waiting as a plan b?
Nope, I'd plan a club meet on my own so if there was a no show at least I can go out and have fun, whether its just social or fun. I have to sort child care for meets so if I get a last minute cancellation, I'll still make the most of my time.
Good plan. I do the same.
But we cant go to clubs as stated in our profile. If they no show the most we can do is try to get a last minute meet with somebody we dont know or have not had time to chat with. So our planned meet becomes coco and a dvd on our own. Sure thats not as bad as the folks who have travelled or shelled out for a hotel. But if they had given us notice they were not going to make the meet we would have had more time to contact friends, or get to know somebody new.
I agree with the poster who said he wont sit and wait to see if hes chosen we wouldnt expect anyone to. We are talking about the ones who say they need to plan meets a couple of weeks in advance due to child care/work etc. Set a date and time, then two or three days before....silence. Now if that happens we send one last message asking if they are coming and if its ignored we look elsewhere. But when we first joined we used to worry they would still show and so would the new meet we had arranged and we would look bad. Now I say if you wanna go silent before the meet then do turn up tough if you find we moved on its not our fault you couldnt be bothered to confirm "
I do agree with your post- It's crap if they don't let you know they can't make it. Emergencies happen, but it sounds like that's not what happens in your case. Could you do a social meet first, or talk on the phone? (get a payg phone) Some people are just crap.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This has happened with socials and fun meets. Sadly a few times. People with verifications etc not some noob with no pics or veri's. Single guys more than anyone but two single women and a couple have all done it aswell |
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Unless it's an well verified profile I always assume it'll be a no-show. I always ask for, and provide, confirmations on the day, a text around lunchtime to check all is good. Then a text when I'm setting off, or a hour or two prior to the arranged time.
If anyone contacts me and just starts obvious fantasizing I usually say forget it. I've done enough swinging to know you cannot plan sessions in detail, you go with the flow. I usually ask if there is anything in particular that they would like or not like to do but that's as much advance planning you can do.
I think my 'down to business' approach might put some couples off, but it makes sure I don't get my time wasted...well not too often anyway!
I was deeply offended to find out I was someones backup plan once though! I was contacted, asked if I could be available in a few hours, firmed up outline details but luckily wasn't told exactly where to go. When I asked for a location to set off for I got nothing back. The next morning they added a verification from the guy they did meet! Cheeky b*ggers! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do so many chat like sweetie wife's then a day or 2 before a meet stop talking and do not answer messages ? "
Some men are all talk no action, it will happen be patient and enjoy it when it does |
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