FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Manners

Manners

By *ee Viante OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

It's bad manners not to reply, it's bad manners to change one's mind, it's bad manners to not reply to a message sent after a wink... We hear a lot about bad manners on here.

Does "bad manners" simply mean sour grapes following rejection?

Really?

Does anyone honestly expect everyone to be attracted to them, or grateful if they deign to show an interest?

Does anyone really consider themselves above any sort of rejection?

Is feeling entitled in any way not fair grounds for rejection in itself?

Is declining to chat or meet someone actually rejection? Does it mean you're not what I'm looking for at the moment, or I don't have time right now or something?

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

I don't consider it bad manners not to reply, I have a message on my profile that says I will delete mail, I have preferences and if you are outside of this then your mail will not be read.

I look at it like this, if you go shopping you don't apologise to the people at the check out for not buying every piece of fruit on display

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If they've taken the time to message us we should have the manners to reply. When my filters are off I reply with a no thank you to at least one profile a minute. That's not time consuming or mind numbing at all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I feel it's bad manners not to reply if you don't delete straight away, if you delete then you obviously didn't like! But there are a lot of occasions when messages are read and not replied to, this is then frustrating and probably causes some guys to get pissed off!

I personally just shrug it off but can see why guys get annoyed! Also I can see it from a girls side as you must get tonnes of mail, but it would cut down on abuse if you replied to non-deleted mail or just delete it!

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

When I see threads about 'manners' I just think the one moaning about the lack thereof, simply doesn't get it. They don't understand how this works and can't empathise.

Narcissism if you will.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wat I considered to be bad manners on fab r when Uve went to lots of trouble to organise babysitters arranging a hotel amongst other things and for ur supposed meet to completely dissapear of the face of the earth without a Tx to explain !!!!!!! That's down right rude! Manners cost nothing !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I feel it's bad manners not to reply if you don't delete straight away, if you delete then you obviously didn't like! But there are a lot of occasions when messages are read and not replied to, this is then frustrating and probably causes some guys to get pissed off!

So people ask for abuse when they don't reply to non deleted messages?!

crystal

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

So people ask for abuse when they don't reply to non deleted messages?!

crystal"

That's not what was said....the post said "but it would cut down on abuse if you replied to non-deleted mail or just delete it" which is not the same thing at all

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan over a year ago

London

Manners are essential as a human being...

But I don't think not replying on the internet has any bearings in this case.

It's a time saving device nothing more.

You never feel the intangibles that make a person either, so you rarely get a polite no thank you on the net.

And I think you have to embrace every rejection you ever receive, it makes you stronger and each one brings you one step closer to your goal.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's bad manners not to reply, it's bad manners to change one's mind, it's bad manners to not reply to a message sent after a wink... We hear a lot about bad manners on here.

Does "bad manners" simply mean sour grapes following rejection?

Really?

Does anyone honestly expect everyone to be attracted to them, or grateful if they deign to show an interest?

Does anyone really consider themselves above any sort of rejection?

Is feeling entitled in any way not fair grounds for rejection in itself?

Is declining to chat or meet someone actually rejection? Does it mean you're not what I'm looking for at the moment, or I don't have time right now or something?"
Iv I'm really not liking the person or message I will read and delete (that's if they have attached a face picture) (if no attached a pic it just gets deleted) if there is something that caught my eye or I read it but not time to reply I will leave it there and ponder on it. Iv replied saying no Thankyou or I'm not interested and generally they reply saying ok Thankyou for letting me know etc. it's when they carry on and say can I ask why? Or how are you anyway? That they receive the bad manners of just bring deleted.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So people ask for abuse when they don't reply to non deleted messages?!

crystal

That's not what was said....the post said "but it would cut down on abuse if you replied to non-deleted mail or just delete it" which is not the same thing at all"

It suggests that people receive abuse if they do not reply to mail which is ludicrous! Why should anyone receive abuse for choosing not to reply to mail?

crystal

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By *ee Viante OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Sometimes I read and don't delete because I haven't definitely decided if I'm interested or not and want to look again later. Sometimes I want to reply saying I'm interested but don't have time to write immediately.

Sometimes I don't get round to it at all. Sometimes the message gets pushed off the end of my mailbox page by others I have to deal with first. I really wish I could scroll through mailbox pages rather than only being able to see so many of the most recent messages.

There's usually a reason I read and don't reply or delete immediately.

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By *ee Viante OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

There's never a reason for abuse.

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

I would fuck their fucking shit up for fucking good if they didn't fucking reply to me. Fuckers.

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

"I would fuck their fucking shit up for fucking good if they didn't fucking reply to me. Fuckers."

Is it Thursday?

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I would fuck their fucking shit up for fucking good if they didn't fucking reply to me. Fuckers.

Is it Thursday?"

Does that still happen?!

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By *ee Viante OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I would fuck their fucking shit up for fucking good if they didn't fucking reply to me. Fuckers.

Is it Thursday?"

I hope so because I've got plans for Thursday.

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

"I would fuck their fucking shit up for fucking good if they didn't fucking reply to me. Fuckers.

Is it Thursday?

I hope so because I've got plans for Thursday. "

Yes just checked my avatar. It's definitely Thursday

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By *ee Viante OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I would fuck their fucking shit up for fucking good if they didn't fucking reply to me. Fuckers.

Is it Thursday?

I hope so because I've got plans for Thursday.

Yes just checked my avatar. It's definitely Thursday

No, no.

Thursday good

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I would fuck their fucking shit up for fucking good if they didn't fucking reply to me. Fuckers.

Is it Thursday?

I hope so because I've got plans for Thursday. "
Some folks have different definitions of bad manners, same as some folk have different definition of what curvy is, you cannot please all of the people all of the time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't forget it's also ignorant and rude to not be attracted to some one

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By *ee Viante OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Which is why I go with pleasing myself and let everyone else worry about themselves

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

"I would fuck their fucking shit up for fucking good if they didn't fucking reply to me. Fuckers.

Is it Thursday?

I hope so because I've got plans for Thursday. Some folks have different definitions of bad manners, same as some folk have different definition of what curvy is, you cannot please all of the people all of the time."

How rude!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So people ask for abuse when they don't reply to non deleted messages?!

crystal

That's not what was said....the post said "but it would cut down on abuse if you replied to non-deleted mail or just delete it" which is not the same thing at all

It suggests that people receive abuse if they do not reply to mail which is ludicrous! Why should anyone receive abuse for choosing not to reply to mail?

crystal"

I am

Not condoning abuse, I'm

Just saying that this is why people get frustrated, and frustration leads to abuse!

The whole reason for this post is because people moan and send abuse and moan about bad manners! I was just trying to explain why people get frustrated that's all!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There's never a reason for abuse."

Well the is, but there's no excuse!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I send a message and get nothing back it just means the person or persons think you an ugly shit and it's tough titties what can you do move on

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Some peeps nearly Buster blood vessel over bad manners

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

[Removed by poster at 21/08/14 11:06:50]

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

I have sent messages that have just been read and deleted, it has never bothered me in the slightest and why should it

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By *qua vitaeWoman over a year ago

Shropshire/Midlands

I don't think it's bad manners not replying to the first message, wink or friend invite, when there hasn't been an initial mutal exchange. Of course, everyone has the right to change their mine. However, I do feel it's bad manners after several messages not to reply with a 'no thanks', when both parties took time to engage in conversation, but just delete messages without a word. Such is the nature of this site sometimes...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So people ask for abuse when they don't reply to non deleted messages?!

crystal

That's not what was said....the post said "but it would cut down on abuse if you replied to non-deleted mail or just delete it" which is not the same thing at all

It suggests that people receive abuse if they do not reply to mail which is ludicrous! Why should anyone receive abuse for choosing not to reply to mail?

crystal

I am

Not condoning abuse, I'm

Just saying that this is why people get frustrated, and frustration leads to abuse!

The whole reason for this post is because people moan and send abuse and moan about bad manners! I was just trying to explain why people get frustrated that's all!"

If people get frustrated because they haven't had a reply to a message then they're going to lead very frustrating lives! And if something as simple as not getting a response leads to abuse I would strongly advise anger management. In my opinion people get frustrated due to an over inflated sense of entitlement and spit out their dummy when they don't get what they want.

I hate the feature that allows people to see if a message has been read or deleted. I don't use any other sites which have thus feature and when people ask for it, I point them in the direction of certain threads on fab to explain why it isn't a good idea!

Whatever anyone does, someone will see it as bad manners. The best thing we can all do for ourselves is to allow actions that we perceive to be bad manners to wash over us which will help us lead happier fab lives.

crystal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sometimes I read and don't delete because I haven't definitely decided if I'm interested or not and want to look again later. Sometimes I want to reply saying I'm interested but don't have time to write immediately.

There's usually a reason I read and don't reply or delete immediately."

I'm tempted to write I'm putting you on hold. I'll be back

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ne ne na na na na Nu Nu.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My profile says I will delete those out of my set age range, and I do.

Others if I have no interest will get a message saying that.

Don't respond to winks or friend requests.

If they come back and are rude I just ignore and delete. End of.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've had messages I've sent deleted and that's fine, I choose to interpret that as a thanks but no thanks.

I always reply to messages myself, but then I probably receive a lot fewer messages than the ladies, so it's easier to do.

I'm always a bit nonplussed with a message I've sent being read, but not replied to. What does it mean? Are they interested, but no time to reply, should I re message or is that then seen as pushy.

It's a minefield I tell you, a minefield.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If they've taken the time to message us we should have the manners to reply. When my filters are off I reply with a no thank you to at least one profile a minute. That's not time consuming or mind numbing at all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Think it may have been our initial posting last night thats provoked this. We have, and are used to, having opening messages deleted with no reply. Np with that. However, in this circumstance they winked at us, we engeged in conversation and, for some unknown reason, they read our last message but no reply. Do you people, who are telling us that Fab is special and that this is acceptable, just walk away from someone mid chat with no explanation cus you have'something else' to do?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And do you do that to all mail you receive? Eg junk mail through the post & spam emails?

I'm not sure how it is bad manners not to reply to an unsolicited mail from a total stranger.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No I think its rude not to reply but I also know a lot of you lovely females get that many messages you just can't reply to them all so then it can't be rude its just the way it is

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So it's bad manners for me to log in, read my mail and then not reply because the phone rings, it doorbell goes or my lunch break is over and real life distracts me, meaning it might be hours or days till I next log in and finally reply to a message.

That's not bad manners, that's just life getting in the way surely?

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By *ee Viante OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

That's not bad manners, that's just life getting in the way surely?"

Well how bloody dare you have a life outside providing sex on demand for strangers?!

Out-bloody-rageous!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's not bad manners, that's just life getting in the way surely?

Well how bloody dare you have a life outside providing sex on demand for strangers?!

Out-bloody-rageous!"

I know....I must cancel real life matters to reply instantly to mails in future

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't get offended by a non reply, deleted message or sorry you're not my type! So can't understand why others do!

It's not a dating site and honestly do not have the time to reply to every message I get but if you can't be bothered to read my profile and still moan about not getting a reply then I have no problems with the block button.

I'm here to have fun with people I find attractive and sexy, might sound harsh but that's honesty for you x x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't get offended by a non reply, deleted message or sorry you're not my type! So can't understand why others do!

I'm here to have fun with people I find attractive and sexy, might sound harsh but that's honesty for you x x

Couldn't agree more

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 21/08/14 14:49:04]

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

yeah a lot of it is petulance and is unplasant to witness but so are many of the ranty ranty anti man tirades in these forums, the constant need to air what this man & that man has said and grandstanding the indignation is as laughable.

block them and move on

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

So people ask for abuse when they don't reply to non deleted messages?!

crystal

That's not what was said....the post said "but it would cut down on abuse if you replied to non-deleted mail or just delete it" which is not the same thing at all

It suggests that people receive abuse if they do not reply to mail which is ludicrous! Why should anyone receive abuse for choosing not to reply to mail?

crystal"

It doesn't suggest that to me, it suggests that people get frustrated when mails are deleted and some may abuse people for it. It doesn't say people deserved to be abused.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"I would fuck their fucking shit up for fucking good if they didn't fucking reply to me. Fuckers."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some peeps nearly Buster blood vessel over bad manners

lip up titty

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So people ask for abuse when they don't reply to non deleted messages?!

crystal

That's not what was said....the post said "but it would cut down on abuse if you replied to non-deleted mail or just delete it" which is not the same thing at all

It suggests that people receive abuse if they do not reply to mail which is ludicrous! Why should anyone receive abuse for choosing not to reply to mail?

crystal

It doesn't suggest that to me, it suggests that people get frustrated when mails are deleted and some may abuse people for it. It doesn't say people deserved to be abused."

You're right, it doesn't, but it tries to excuse it and abuse on fab shouldn't be tolerated should it?

crystal

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

I really don't think I need to answer that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"yeah a lot of it is petulance and is unplasant to witness but so are many of the ranty ranty anti man tirades in these forums, the constant need to air what this man & that man has said and grandstanding the indignation is as laughable.

block them and move on

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By *uicylucy76Woman over a year ago

thornton cleveleys

I think you're damned if you do and damned if you don't! ... I read some messages and others not, I open some messages with no avatar only to realise there no attraction for me once I see included pics.. Which I'm sure also for some works both ways once I send a face pic. It has a lot to do with what I'm doing at the time wether I reply or not, not a case of being rude. You are never gonna please everyone so you might as well just do things the way you do it. Sometimes if I'm that way out I just delete the lot to tidy up!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some peeps nearly Buster blood vessel over bad manners

lip up titty

oooo woolly bully

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some peeps nearly Buster blood vessel over bad manners

lip up titty

oooo woolly bully

such a sham

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some peeps nearly Buster blood vessel over bad manners

lip up titty

oooo woolly bully

such a sham

Oi lip up fatty don't be angry coz bad manners is better than sam the sham

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some peeps nearly Buster blood vessel over bad manners

lip up titty

oooo woolly bully

such a sham

Oi lip up fatty don't be angry coz bad manners is better than sam the sham

How could i, ive just been checking out your arse

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some peeps nearly Buster blood vessel over bad manners

lip up titty

oooo woolly bully

such a sham

Oi lip up fatty don't be angry coz bad manners is better than sam the sham

How could i, ive just been checking out your arse

you said wow fatty's back in town

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

Im all for respect but manners is a learned expectation largely and differs amongst people. If behaviour is underpinned by respect for others then we will largely be all ok. There may still be misinterpretations, but if nothing other than respect was behind someones actions towards us then we should be less suspicious and bothered by others. The 'wealth' of posts on manners or lack thereof is generally due to people letting rip, as they become emotionally troubled by someone not giving them something they want. An auto flag button, before submitting a post, asking if the user is about to submit a message about courtesy, manners etc - and to check the rules again about message responding and to change expectations - night help to deflate the angst that some feel and suppress their urges to let rip via the forums. I an setting up a self help group for troubled users - Fab Users Kicked Down, FUKD. We meet at a local pub, say 3 hail fairies and practice yogic vaginal, cock and mind transcendence, while beating the shit out of our voodoo dolls, then having a love in. Refer any affected by this disorder to get FUKD.

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By *qua vitaeWoman over a year ago

Shropshire/Midlands

Not bad manners if you don't reply to every first messages or decide if they're not for you after exchanging messages or a social. But bad manners to just go off radar and delete all your messages after exchanging several or go quiet after planning a meet, but are still active on the stie. True, people have the right to change their mind and at the end of the day, I consider it that if they are like that, then they weren't the person for me to get involved with.

Im astonished when this happens, especially when on their profile in big shouty letters, they say timrwasters or dreamers needn't apply. ..

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgLMO4dAImM

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I find it bad manners not to reply to messages, if someone's made the effort to contact me I make the effort to reply even if it's thanks but no thanks. What really annoys is when they make 1st contact and then don't reply!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I find it bad manners not to reply to messages, if someone's made the effort to contact me I make the effort to reply even if it's thanks but no thanks. What really annoys is when they make 1st contact and then don't reply! "

So even if they dont meet your preferences, haven't read your profile, live over 200 miles away and have just said fancy a fuk you would still reply? Wow! Even one of those would mean they don't get a reply. Your in box will be bulging now!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I ask for my profile to be read and to provide two things with a message. Yes, my profile is long but it seems necessary for it to be that way. No pic supplied gets a delete unread

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By *EXY50ishWoman over a year ago

Anywhere and nowhere

I always reply to a first message even to say thanks no thanks. I think its good manners and it takes seconds to reply . I think some folk on here have such high opinions of themselves they're above what is considered good manners in the real world .

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By *londeCazWoman over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I look at it like this, if you go shopping you don't apologise to the people at the check out for not buying every piece of fruit on display

I do, and that's why my weekly shop takes me a week

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always reply to a first message even to say thanks no thanks. I think its good manners and it takes seconds to reply . I think some folk on here have such high opinions of themselves they're above what is considered good manners in the real world ."

This is not the real world. Its a swingers site where the faq clearly state no reply means not interested. Personally I think not reading profiles or respecting people's preferences shows a lack of manners. As do the abusive messages that can follow rejection. Thankfully the site gives me the tools to run my profile the way I want.

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