FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Gravestones
Gravestones
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"It's odd what you can and can't have on a gravestone. X's aren't allowed, but then who'd want a list of people they've shagged? On a second reading, it turns out that kisses aren't allowed. You can have a nickname, but it has to be in inverted commas. Similarly the font is important. Bishops can actually object to what you intend to have on a gravestone. So your chances of having 'About time, arsehole x' in wingdings is remote, unless you can find a diocese where the top boy has a sense of humour. I wouldn't try to sweeten him by doing impressions of Father Jack. He may not like it, although if he does query your taste, you could tell him that would be an ecumenical matter. I'd like my gravestone to be a giant pair of boobies, in silicone, rather than stone that glow pink in the dark. It's not a statement about religion, just more a way of making people walking by the cemetery do a double take. The inscription would read: Here lies Tina Titz, who played with many bits, she liked to have a joke, even whilst men did poke, now she is falling to bits So, my question is, what sort of gravestone and inscription would you like? "Here lies Tina Titz, who played with many bits, she liked to have a joke, even whilst men did poke, now she is falling to bits mind your feet don't trip on her tits! | |||
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"It's odd what you can and can't have on a gravestone. X's aren't allowed, but then who'd want a list of people they've shagged? On a second reading, it turns out that kisses aren't allowed. You can have a nickname, but it has to be in inverted commas. Similarly the font is important. Bishops can actually object to what you intend to have on a gravestone. So your chances of having 'About time, arsehole x' in wingdings is remote, unless you can find a diocese where the top boy has a sense of humour. I wouldn't try to sweeten him by doing impressions of Father Jack. He may not like it, although if he does query your taste, you could tell him that would be an ecumenical matter. I'd like my gravestone to be a giant pair of boobies, in silicone, rather than stone that glow pink in the dark. It's not a statement about religion, just more a way of making people walking by the cemetery do a double take. The inscription would read: Here lies Tina Titz, who played with many bits, she liked to have a joke, even whilst men did poke, now she is falling to bits So, my question is, what sort of gravestone and inscription would you like?
Here lies Tina Titz,
who played with many bits,
she liked to have a joke,
even whilst men did poke,
now she is falling to bits
mind your feet
don't trip on her tits!"Here lies Tina Titz, who played with many bits, she liked to have a joke, even whilst men did poke, now she is falling to bits mind your feet don't trip on her tits! as i'm a necromaniac i'll still love her in bits | |||
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"It's odd what you can and can't have on a gravestone. X's aren't allowed, but then who'd want a list of people they've shagged? On a second reading, it turns out that kisses aren't allowed. You can have a nickname, but it has to be in inverted commas. Similarly the font is important. Bishops can actually object to what you intend to have on a gravestone. So your chances of having 'About time, arsehole x' in wingdings is remote, unless you can find a diocese where the top boy has a sense of humour. I wouldn't try to sweeten him by doing impressions of Father Jack. He may not like it, although if he does query your taste, you could tell him that would be an ecumenical matter. I'd like my gravestone to be a giant pair of boobies, in silicone, rather than stone that glow pink in the dark. It's not a statement about religion, just more a way of making people walking by the cemetery do a double take. The inscription would read: Here lies Tina Titz, who played with many bits, she liked to have a joke, even whilst men did poke, now she is falling to bits So, my question is, what sort of gravestone and inscription would you like?
Here lies Tina Titz,
who played with many bits,
she liked to have a joke,
even whilst men did poke,
now she is falling to bits
mind your feet
don't trip on her tits!Here lies Tina Titz,
who played with many bits,
she liked to have a joke,
even whilst men did poke,
now she is falling to bits
mind your feet
don't trip on her tits!
as i'm a necromaniac
i'll still love her in bits"so lets celebrate her life thats past .. hung up those mighty tits at last | |||
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"I'd like my head removed and stuck in a jar like on Futurama! Just in case....................
A"Dr Hfuhruhurr? . | |||
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"I'd like to be buried in a cardboard coffin with an apple. Hopefully, the apple would rot but the seeds would germinate and use my bodys nutrients and grow, flower and fruit. One day, someone will eat a _rightonsteve grown apple. " A Cox's Pippin perchance? | |||
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"Cheque please! "  | |||
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"A really big, imposing headstone, totally blank except for a single line in really, really tiny writing that you have to get within an inch or two to read, that says . . . .. . . . . . . . . . ."GET OFF MY FEKIN HEAD YOU MUPPET' " | |||
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"I have bequeathed my body to medical science. They have contested my will... Seriously, I HAVE done this. What they do with the leftovers is up to them, whether it's cremation, cat food, or the glue factory." I'm not feeding you to my cats...I don't know where you've been! | |||
"I have bequeathed my body to medical science. They have contested my will... Seriously, I HAVE done this. What they do with the leftovers is up to them, whether it's cremation, cat food, or the glue factory. I'm not feeding you to my cats...I don't know where you've been!" I'll have you know, I have had all my shots from the vet, and am fully house-trained. | |||
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""She lasted longer than she thought she would" All but my skin has been left to science and organ donations. It's lovely soft skin so anyone who wants it to make a leather coat just speak up and it's yours. " I have a penpal in South America who might take it to make lampshades wallets & book covers. Will I ask Senor Mengele for you? | |||
""She lasted longer than she thought she would" All but my skin has been left to science and organ donations. It's lovely soft skin so anyone who wants it to make a leather coat just speak up and it's yours. I have a penpal in South America who might take it to make lampshades wallets & book covers. Will I ask Senor Mengele for you?" I won't be using it and I like to re-use and recycle. | |||
""She lasted longer than she thought she would" All but my skin has been left to science and organ donations. It's lovely soft skin so anyone who wants it to make a leather coat just speak up and it's yours. I have a penpal in South America who might take it to make lampshades wallets & book covers. Will I ask Senor Mengele for you? I won't be using it and I like to re-use and recycle." I could use a hat stand. | |||
""She lasted longer than she thought she would" All but my skin has been left to science and organ donations. It's lovely soft skin so anyone who wants it to make a leather coat just speak up and it's yours. I have a penpal in South America who might take it to make lampshades wallets & book covers. Will I ask Senor Mengele for you? I won't be using it and I like to re-use and recycle. I could use a hat stand. " I think science is getting the skeleton. I'm fairly sure it's just the fat and the skin not assigned to any cause yet. | |||
""She lasted longer than she thought she would" All but my skin has been left to science and organ donations. It's lovely soft skin so anyone who wants it to make a leather coat just speak up and it's yours. I have a penpal in South America who might take it to make lampshades wallets & book covers. Will I ask Senor Mengele for you? I won't be using it and I like to re-use and recycle. I could use a hat stand. " Or somewhere to keep walking sticks and umbrellas? | |||
""She lasted longer than she thought she would" All but my skin has been left to science and organ donations. It's lovely soft skin so anyone who wants it to make a leather coat just speak up and it's yours. I have a penpal in South America who might take it to make lampshades wallets & book covers. Will I ask Senor Mengele for you? I won't be using it and I like to re-use and recycle." And make do and mend! | |||
""She lasted longer than she thought she would" All but my skin has been left to science and organ donations. It's lovely soft skin so anyone who wants it to make a leather coat just speak up and it's yours. I have a penpal in South America who might take it to make lampshades wallets & book covers. Will I ask Senor Mengele for you? I won't be using it and I like to re-use and recycle. And make do and mend!" I haven't had much choice with my body. | |||
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"I have bequeathed my body to medical science. They have contested my will... Seriously, I HAVE done this. What they do with the leftovers is up to them, whether it's cremation, cat food, or the glue factory." i wanted to do this too but as the doctors have already removed some bits i'm no longer eligible  | |||
"I don't want a gravestone. I want to be cremated then my ashes buried with my cat and a tree planted over us and we'll feed it and be together forever." I'd like to be fed to a big cat when i die, most probably a lion | |||
""She lasted longer than she thought she would" All but my skin has been left to science and organ donations. It's lovely soft skin so anyone who wants it to make a leather coat just speak up and it's yours. I have a penpal in South America who might take it to make lampshades wallets & book covers. Will I ask Senor Mengele for you?" I'm thinking silence of the lambs eek | |||
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"I'd like to be buried in a cardboard coffin with an apple. Hopefully, the apple would rot but the seeds would germinate and use my bodys nutrients and grow, flower and fruit. One day, someone will eat a _rightonsteve grown apple. " what a great idear... Wonder if cucumber seeds would work too? ( mrs) | |||
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"There`s a pikey grave in the next town to me that always makes me smile! Husband and wife lie next to each other and the graves linked by a huge piece of specially imported Italian marble. Really OTT! The husband`s grave has a pint of beer, ciggys in a packet and another lit and resting on an ash tray and there`s a winning hand of cards fanned out - all moulded/carved into the stone. What a sense of humour! One thing that can`t be levelled at the pikeys is their lack of respect for their deceased relations. We were told that someone from the extended family will visit several graves every day. They all take it in turns to visit and ensure the graves are looking smart. In the winter when flowers wouldn`t last on graves they put flowers in glass globes on the graves. " Please don't use that racist term, I find it offensive. | |||
