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Depression warning signs
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Depression knows no bounds - someone you know right now is probably struggling in silence with this insidious illness.
Unfortunately it has the ability to camouflage itself and most cannot believe it if / when something happens.
Recently I asked a cross section of people I knew 10 years ago from uni (so who saw a lot of me rather than in passing) and not 1 knew / guessed. They simply couldn't see it but it's there I assure you.
A personality change for no obvious reason is a big red flag, and a slightly over the top persona can be too.
Anyone else please contribute warning signs that can provide early warning. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depression knows no bounds - someone you know right now is probably struggling in silence with this insidious illness.
Unfortunately it has the ability to camouflage itself and most cannot believe it if / when something happens.
Recently I asked a cross section of people I knew 10 years ago from uni (so who saw a lot of me rather than in passing) and not 1 knew / guessed. They simply couldn't see it but it's there I assure you.
A personality change for no obvious reason is a big red flag, and a slightly over the top persona can be too.
Anyone else please contribute warning signs that can provide early warning."
I don't think there is a definitive list of warning signs.
Those that can be could just be because that is how it is and not to be blamed on depression.
I went through years and years of torment, bullying, physical violence etc and at that moment I would have said I was depressed. I hid the way I felt from everyone and noone would have ever guessed because I was "normal".
Now I get told I am depressed because I go through the overeating/undereating, insomnia/fatigue, mood swings, tears for no apparent reason, but for the first time in a very long while I am happy. Happy with who I am and the direction my life is going. I go through all the above because of a situation that I cannot control not because I am depressed.
I guess what I am trying to say is it may be easy to spot the signs in some but for others also very easy to hide and it is those that hide it well that often need the most help and support. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Depression is an invisible illness "
Unfortunately you may be right, it crept up on me. The frustration of not being able to explain to others what I was feeling is something I still occasionally get. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depression is an invisible illness
Unfortunately you may be right, it crept up on me. The frustration of not being able to explain to others what I was feeling is something I still occasionally get."
you shouldn't have to explain yourself to anyone but I know what you mean |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Depression is an invisible illness
Unfortunately you may be right, it crept up on me. The frustration of not being able to explain to others what I was feeling is something I still occasionally get.
you shouldn't have to explain yourself to anyone but I know what you mean "
It good to discuss openly and anything that raises awareness is a good thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Typical signs are low moods, lack of motivation / laziness, significant weight changes, lack of interest in usual things, sex drive decrease, no self-interest or worth, too many to mention on here.
I've referred some old clients to services before, there is a great deal out there, but nothing ever replaces good relationships around too. |
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Everyone is different. Some people hide or show it in different ways. My friends now know when I shut myself away or don't want to bother with anyone I'm low and need coaxing to come out and tslk to them but they never force me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One thing you should never say to a depression sufferer is "pull yourself together" but ironically thAt is the only cure. The drugs don't work, they just numb the pain. Exercise and good memories from doing great stuff can cure it. But are the last thing you want to do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Emily has suffered from severe depression for years. Its controlled by meds but every now and then her dose needs tweaking. When those times start to creep up she loses interest in everything and cant be motivated. She loses her appetite. Shows less and less emotion and love for me or the kids. At its worst she told me she no longer knew if she loved me and felt nothing. Thankfully that period lasted only a few weeks but its scars are still there due to events in those weeks brought about by the depression which I wont go into. I constantly fear that she could sink that low again but shes been very well balanced for a few years now so we can only hope that continues.
Good luck to anyone suffering or caring for a sufferer. Dont ever give up help or feel you cant seek help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depression = anger turned inwards
I disagree with that!"
I just googled his comment and got this:
'Psychoanalysts have long believed that anger towards others gets turned against ourselves. Our anger converted into self-hatred causes depression.'
Personally knowing myself, I would agree with it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some symptons have been mentioned. Others can be unexplained anger, being paranoid, irrational, low motivation. It's sometimes hard to recognise the symptoms when you are in the middle of it all. Also hard on the rest of the household.
I read an article recently which said that men over 40 are the most likely to commit suicide. I wonder if men find it harder to share their feelings.
Depression is so difficult as it is not tangible.
As someone else said good relationships with friends and family are important. The Samaritans are brilliant at lending an ear whatever the time of day or night.
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Thanks for this thread, OP.
Looking out for people at work who have lots of short, 1 day illnesses. When things get on top of you it is easier to say you've got the squits than to say you have depression.
When my depression hits I find it very difficult to get out of bed. It is the thing that helps though so I have set rules and routines to help keep me well.
I was very ill in 2012 and creating Licketysplits and joining in with the forum helped me. Now I have to watch that I don't spend too much time here as that is now a sign that I am putting off dealing with something.
I wish you all good mental health.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From personal experience I really don't feel this or any other forum is equipped to handle a discussion as delicate as person who may be reading this , I haven't read much but I have met widows who's partners killed themselves.... And not like that ( widowed age 31... ) spent along time chatting on forums and depression tafuckingboo ...... Not to be played with...: sorry if a bit morbid x
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By *Kgirl80Woman
over a year ago
South Coast |
Such a terrifying illness because of the way it conceals itself.
I've been thinking long and hard about my friends and family today, hoping to God none of them are in this kind of turmoil. But how could I, or would I know?
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I wonder if men find it harder to share their feelings.
"
I totally agree with this. Men are mostly brought up to be men, not to cry, not to be over emotional, to be strong in body and mind, to win, to be the best, to provide and protect. Any deviation from any of this is seen as weakness and makes you less of a man. Its a fundamental basic of being a man, so it is no wonder that more men are tipped over the edge from what may seem trivial or easy fixed problems. |
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Depression is a term thrown around a bit too freely these days. If someone is a bit sad they are depressed.
Actual clinical depression is debilitating and all consuming. People say you should get out more, get a hobby to take your mind off it etc but it's not as easy as that. Of course, everyone's experience of depression is unique,there is no catchall cure for it.
Ruby wax did a show about her experience of depression. My mum went to see it and said it was really enlightening. Of course she span humour in it to make it user friendly but her message was very clear. |
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"
From personal experience I really don't feel this or any other forum is equipped to handle a discussion as delicate as person who may be reading this , I haven't read much but I have met widows who's partners killed themselves.... And not like that ( widowed age 31... ) spent along time chatting on forums and depression tafuckingboo ...... Not to be played with...: sorry if a bit morbid x
"
Surely being able to share,no matter where, can be helpful? |
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"
I wonder if men find it harder to share their feelings.
I totally agree with this. Men are mostly brought up to be men, not to cry, not to be over emotional, to be strong in body and mind, to win, to be the best, to provide and protect. Any deviation from any of this is seen as weakness and makes you less of a man. Its a fundamental basic of being a man, so it is no wonder that more men are tipped over the edge from what may seem trivial or easy fixed problems."
Men are more likely to end their life than women...due to the fact that they feel that they can't talk about their feelings to others |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The clarity of some dark thoughts from over 12 years ago can still reach out and touch like an icy finger even now.
Unfortunately shame and ignorance continue to claim lives.
Personally I do think men struggle more with this due to the macho thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Meds do work for some but when I went though a really bad time a few years ago, I was horrified to find out that the Prozac I was prescribed can cause suicidal tendencies. Luckily I got through it and never needed them x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some can hide it incredibly well, often only those closest seeing what it is truly doing to them
Last year I fell apart and yet not one of my friends knew, thankfully my husband was there for me and I was able to work through it with his help I sought help from my doctor but the medication given just wasn't for me, it made me worse so I talked and walked and talked and walked and talked some more, I know without my husband I actually wouldn't be here now I reached such a low but yet not one of my friends knew a thing
I have a job that requires me to perform a persona so it was easy for me to pop my mask on and fool them all, now when I pick up on a friend getting low and I talk to them about where I was last year they are shocked to hear I was in such a dark place and often open up to me especially when I tell them the only thing that worked for me was the talking,
My advice to anyone else who is suffering please just talk to a friend or three and if you really can't then call the Samaritans they truly are amazing an ear is all it takes sometimes
And you're not a failure, you have not let anyone down, no one will be ashamed of you that really is all in your head I promise
Xxx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have suffered with depression for about 20 years. I know I can be hard to live with. I have an autistic son and a son of 28 who has a debilitating illness. I stopped taking my meds 5 months ago and although feel I'm without my chemical armour I'm trying so hard to cope. I feel so alone and the forums keep me company during the long nights lol xxxx  |
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"my gp gave me antidepressants and wants me to talk to someone but they cant change things so I wont go"
Can I just say when I had my miscarriage and my breakdown I refused to take medication but I did take up counselling and my counsellor was amazing and taught me coping skills when I am on a low, luckily I have not had a low point for many years but It is worth talking to someone.... |
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Someone I'm very close too has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression within the last couple of months.
How they are being treated is completely different to how I've always been treated.
I'm hoping this new out look is going to have nothing but positive effects |
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"I have suffered with depression for about 20 years. I know I can be hard to live with. I have an autistic son and a son of 28 who has a debilitating illness. I stopped taking my meds 5 months ago and although feel I'm without my chemical armour I'm trying so hard to cope. I feel so alone and the forums keep me company during the long nights lol xxxx "
That's good news about the meds.
Some people do rely on them too much.
there are many natural remedies out there too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Actual clinical depression is debilitating and all consuming. People say you should get out more, get a hobby to take your mind off it etc but it's not as easy as that. Of course, everyone's experience of depression is unique,there is no catchall cure for it. "
The hobby thing isn't as patronising as it sounds, what has worked for me is keeping busy, this is why I now work 2 jobs and currently attempting a degree because keeping busy works best for me as it leaves me with less time to think, I know other sufferers that also find it works to keep super busy |
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"my gp gave me antidepressants and wants me to talk to someone but they cant change things so I wont go"
They can't change physical things or alter courses of action but they can help you and the way you deal with feelings and cope with situations. If you can't or don't want to talk to counsellors I would recommend looking for other forms of support such as peer support groups or other help lines.
Sometimes counselling is too rigid as it's appointment based and you may not feel like talking about things when you are scheduled to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"my gp gave me antidepressants and wants me to talk to someone but they cant change things so I wont go
They can't change physical things or alter courses of action but they can help you and the way you deal with feelings and cope with situations. If you can't or don't want to talk to counsellors I would recommend looking for other forms of support such as peer support groups or other help lines.
Sometimes counselling is too rigid as it's appointment based and you may not feel like talking about things when you are scheduled to."
 |
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"Yes, Prozac isn't the greatest and some docs dole them out like sweeties.
I only knew I'd been to the edge when I stepped back again.
"
Yeah - well done you.. Sometimes the Only Drug = is Your own Brain Power..  |
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"my gp gave me antidepressants and wants me to talk to someone but they cant change things so I wont go
They can't change physical things or alter courses of action but they can help you and the way you deal with feelings and cope with situations. If you can't or don't want to talk to counsellors I would recommend looking for other forms of support such as peer support groups or other help lines.
Sometimes counselling is too rigid as it's appointment based and you may not feel like talking about things when you are scheduled to."
My counsellor was funny and that's what made it for me as I do believe that sometimes the best cure is laughter, he couldn't take the pain away of me losing my baby and no one can as I think about it everyday but he helped me deal with it... |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I have suffered with depression for about 20 years. I know I can be hard to live with. I have an autistic son and a son of 28 who has a debilitating illness. I stopped taking my meds 5 months ago and although feel I'm without my chemical armour I'm trying so hard to cope. I feel so alone and the forums keep me company during the long nights lol xxxx "
If they help then that's great. The forums helped me in ways I didn't expect. I have also learned to step away when they feel like hard work.
Keep talking. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes, Prozac isn't the greatest and some docs dole them out like sweeties.
I only knew I'd been to the edge when I stepped back again.
Yeah - well done you.. Sometimes the Only Drug = is Your own Brain Power.. "
But I can say I'd used up a l m o s t everything I had. It could easily have gone the other way...rational thought doesn't exist in such cicumstances
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have bouts of depression.
I can go either way - either very over the top happy and the life and soul of the party, or totally insular and shut myself off to the world.
The life and soul of the party is the mask one I use to try to 'snap me out of it'. The other is the one people really need to watch when I go there as it is not often on show but it is very destructive. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"my gp gave me antidepressants and wants me to talk to someone but they cant change things so I wont go
They can't change physical things or alter courses of action but they can help you and the way you deal with feelings and cope with situations. If you can't or don't want to talk to counsellors I would recommend looking for other forms of support such as peer support groups or other help lines.
Sometimes counselling is too rigid as it's appointment based and you may not feel like talking about things when you are scheduled to."
I would add to this that there is a mental health forum you can dip into too. Look up Black Dog Tribe.
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"Yes, Prozac isn't the greatest and some docs dole them out like sweeties.
I only knew I'd been to the edge when I stepped back again.
Yeah - well done you.. Sometimes the Only Drug = is Your own Brain Power.. "
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This clip was posted by my daughters friend who is only 16 who tried to take her own life just a few months ago....it made me sad because so many people suffer in silence.
Because people can't see what is broken it makes it harder for people understand that Depression is an illness not just someone seeking attention.
Have a look at this clip....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc
Mx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have battled depression for years. A very good friend suffered with me and I met her one day for coffee. She was well, and healthy. Bouyant and optimistic. I was in the depths of despair and she consoled me. She told me I COULD and I WOULD turn the corner and be well again. She felt she had conquered the demons and was on the right road and tried to reassure me that life wasn't hopeless, just to keep taking my medication, go for therapy and all would come good. I left her that day...encouraged. I'd seen a glimpse of what I hoped I could achieve. A life with renewed purpose.
Two days later my good friend took her own life. You never, ever know what another person is fighting deep inside.... |
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Depression like anything else affects the individual in an individual manner. Depression can also trigger other illnesses too.
Just a matter of the right stress buttons pressed at the right time in the right combination, unfortunately. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have battled depression for years. A very good friend suffered with me and I met her one day for coffee. She was well, and healthy. Bouyant and optimistic. I was in the depths of despair and she consoled me. She told me I COULD and I WOULD turn the corner and be well again. She felt she had conquered the demons and was on the right road and tried to reassure me that life wasn't hopeless, just to keep taking my medication, go for therapy and all would come good. I left her that day...encouraged. I'd seen a glimpse of what I hoped I could achieve. A life with renewed purpose.
Two days later my good friend took her own life. You never, ever know what another person is fighting deep inside...."
No you certainly do not. Imagine 2 curves like bathtubs. Going down to the bottom is depression and energy level. If the energy level lifts but the the depression doesn't you've got a problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
From personal experience I really don't feel this or any other forum is equipped to handle a discussion as delicate as person who may be reading this , I haven't read much but I have met widows who's partners killed themselves.... And not like that ( widowed age 31... ) spent along time chatting on forums and depression tafuckingboo ...... Not to be played with...: sorry if a bit morbid x
Surely being able to share,no matter where, can be helpful? "
Me ( man ) maybe overreacted  slightly and having read the posts things have changed greatly over the last 5 yrs
Left with 2 young boys luckily I worked in an all female environment and had plenty support especially during my breakdown ....Prozac best thing for me , still is and as a man with emotional problems I do ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've suffered for a long time with bipolar disorder and when I get into the depressive modes its really scary. I hate anyone seeing me like that so I hide away and avoid everything I can. My friends just leave me to it, only a certain few know how bad things can get and have been lifesavers just by being available to talk to.
Talking is such a massive help. Just knowing there's someone you can turn to, without feeling like a burden or stupid etc is what has helped me so far. I wouldnt be here if I didn't have the friends I do. Also the Samaritans, they're amazing.
There was a suicide on the north bridge here in Edinburgh the other day and that got me thinking of all this stuff.
I have friends who suffer from depression too and I do my best to help them and make sure they know they're never alone.
Lx |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"A very interesting thread.
So what can a friend do to help someone suffering depression? And particularly if the person concerned denies having an issue?"
Not that much. Be there. Try not to judge and expect them to pull themselves together. Suggest going for a walk and chat and don't give up.
When I came out of a deep dark depression I was able to appreciate the kindness of those that had stuck by me and who had kept coming back and just sitting in companionable silence. It all helped. |
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"A very interesting thread.
So what can a friend do to help someone suffering depression? And particularly if the person concerned denies having an issue?"
just be there, dont ush them to talk, dont tll them to sap out of it, dont ignore them and stop inviting them places, be ready to listen but mostly just be there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ive had a couple of massive episodes of this and my work is also in mental health - it is very individual but for myself i find myself cleaning when im heading that way - almost manic about it - i generally notice it myself and make myself go out for long walks but occasionally my kids tell me - id like to think i have it under control most of the time - talking to him about all the little gripes that can build up into something huge is my main aid xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good to see people chatting about depression as lot of people go trew this,I was thinking earlier before I even come across this post what are the signs of depression.I bein having ups and over the years i use to think its me just having a bad day now reading this thinking was I going trew depression I use to put weight on then week later lose it,not sleeping well,hair was going thin,wanted to be alone,stay home all the time,get angry these were just some of things and time to time I go trew this I don't no if its stress or not but I try not show it I just keep a smiley face when people around me so they don't think am a moody b*****d I think I should take a trip to the doctors |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Another thing I heard and seen on a program about dogs that keeping a dog can help with depression and stress any dog owners out there that had depression and did having a dog help? I have two dogs there a pain in the ass at times LOL |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depression = anger turned inwards"
Utter shite my friend. I've struggled with depression for over 20 years. It began when I moved in with someone. I was young and stupid and believed this guy really loved me. He was quite controlling and played around on me an awful lot, initially he was contrite, laterally not so much, in fact it was my fault!!! I struggled on believing I'd made my bed etc. Ended up putting on a vast amount of weight, questioning every aspect of my existence etc and eventually sought help which led to 6 months of tablets.
There is still a huge taboo surrounding mental illness, my most recent bout was after the birth of my glorious gorgeous divine child. I questioned again every aspect of my life (was I good enough to be this miracles mum?, could I run the home? Could I keep everyone else happy? And on and on............... My ex saw all this, knew I was struggling and believe me I was but left. Later telling me that part of the reason was to do with my depression, he also told me repeatedly that if I asked for help "they" would take our daughter from us (quite a laugh as I've done everything for her her whole life). I eventually went to the dr in March this year (she was 16 months old at the time) as my usual tricks to get me out of the lull weren't working.
I cannot begin to describe just how terrified that "they" would take my daughter from me when I caved and made the appointment. The dr told me off for waiting so long.
I'm not on tablets (I had some but threw every days back up for a month) and tbh I'm not in pronominal nick at the mo, I have days where I don't eat. All my energy is spent ensuring that the lo has everything they need for the day. On those days I can't do anything else I'm "supposed" to do, walk the dogs, do the housework etc. I recognise that, at the moment at least I am a vile person to be around. I'm always passionate but just lately I will "go off" for no reason. I don't have a support network (if I told my parents they'd dismiss me) and my ex has spent the last 15 months playing mind games with me. A because he wants me to "lose it" so he and his fiancée can take my daughter from me and B because he's a @@@@ (add your own word).
As others have said, I can, do and will "put on a face", there aren't many people who I have opened up to? Why? Because of the attitude of people such as yourself.
I have the most wonderful gift in the world and would never be so selfish as to take my own life but that doesn't mean depression hasn't taken me that low before. It's invidious, it's debilitating and it's real |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Now I have to watch that I don't spend too much time here as that is now a sign that I am putting off dealing with something."
I also find that I do too, but on the plus side Fab has done wonders for me and also my social anxiety |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Another thing I heard and seen on a program about dogs that keeping a dog can help with depression and stress any dog owners out there that had depression and did having a dog help? I have two dogs there a pain in the ass at times LOL "
Having something to care for can help. You have to feed them and walk them. That means getting up and going out.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Another thing I heard and seen on a program about dogs that keeping a dog can help with depression and stress any dog owners out there that had depression and did having a dog help? I have two dogs there a pain in the ass at times LOL
Having something to care for can help. You have to feed them and walk them. That means getting up and going out.
I currently have 3 dogs (did have 7 when he was with me), they do help as I can't imagine being without them and they are something else to concentrate on
"
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Depression = anger turned inwards
Utter shite my friend. I've struggled with depression for over 20 years. It began when I moved in with someone. I was young and stupid and believed this guy really loved me. He was quite controlling and played around on me an awful lot, initially he was contrite, laterally not so much, in fact it was my fault!!! I struggled on believing I'd made my bed etc. Ended up putting on a vast amount of weight, questioning every aspect of my existence etc and eventually sought help which led to 6 months of tablets.
There is still a huge taboo surrounding mental illness, my most recent bout was after the birth of my glorious gorgeous divine child. I questioned again every aspect of my life (was I good enough to be this miracles mum?, could I run the home? Could I keep everyone else happy? And on and on............... My ex saw all this, knew I was struggling and believe me I was but left. Later telling me that part of the reason was to do with my depression, he also told me repeatedly that if I asked for help "they" would take our daughter from us (quite a laugh as I've done everything for her her whole life). I eventually went to the dr in March this year (she was 16 months old at the time) as my usual tricks to get me out of the lull weren't working.
I cannot begin to describe just how terrified that "they" would take my daughter from me when I caved and made the appointment. The dr told me off for waiting so long.
I'm not on tablets (I had some but threw every days back up for a month) and tbh I'm not in pronominal nick at the mo, I have days where I don't eat. All my energy is spent ensuring that the lo has everything they need for the day. On those days I can't do anything else I'm "supposed" to do, walk the dogs, do the housework etc. I recognise that, at the moment at least I am a vile person to be around. I'm always passionate but just lately I will "go off" for no reason. I don't have a support network (if I told my parents they'd dismiss me) and my ex has spent the last 15 months playing mind games with me. A because he wants me to "lose it" so he and his fiancée can take my daughter from me and B because he's a @@@@ (add your own word).
As others have said, I can, do and will "put on a face", there aren't many people who I have opened up to? Why? Because of the attitude of people such as yourself.
I have the most wonderful gift in the world and would never be so selfish as to take my own life but that doesn't mean depression hasn't taken me that low before. It's invidious, it's debilitating and it's real "
I hope you feel better soon. Do consider whether your anger at his treatment of you (and perhaps anger towards your dismissive parents) contributed to your depression though. Swallowing the anger means it has to go somewhere if it's not dealt with.
I now "allow" myself to _xpress my anger and to cry when it's appropriate and I know it has had a positive effect on me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Another thing I heard and seen on a program about dogs that keeping a dog can help with depression and stress any dog owners out there that had depression and did having a dog help? I have two dogs there a pain in the ass at times LOL
Having something to care for can help. You have to feed them and walk them. That means getting up and going out.
I currently have 3 dogs (did have 7 when he was with me), they do help as I can't imagine being without them and they are something else to concentrate on
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depression = anger turned inwards
Utter shite my friend. I've struggled with depression for over 20 years. It began when I moved in with someone. I was young and stupid and believed this guy really loved me. He was quite controlling and played around on me an awful lot, initially he was contrite, laterally not so much, in fact it was my fault!!! I struggled on believing I'd made my bed etc. Ended up putting on a vast amount of weight, questioning every aspect of my existence etc and eventually sought help which led to 6 months of tablets.
There is still a huge taboo surrounding mental illness, my most recent bout was after the birth of my glorious gorgeous divine child. I questioned again every aspect of my life (was I good enough to be this miracles mum?, could I run the home? Could I keep everyone else happy? And on and on............... My ex saw all this, knew I was struggling and believe me I was but left. Later telling me that part of the reason was to do with my depression, he also told me repeatedly that if I asked for help "they" would take our daughter from us (quite a laugh as I've done everything for her her whole life). I eventually went to the dr in March this year (she was 16 months old at the time) as my usual tricks to get me out of the lull weren't working.
I cannot begin to describe just how terrified that "they" would take my daughter from me when I caved and made the appointment. The dr told me off for waiting so long.
I'm not on tablets (I had some but threw every days back up for a month) and tbh I'm not in pronominal nick at the mo, I have days where I don't eat. All my energy is spent ensuring that the lo has everything they need for the day. On those days I can't do anything else I'm "supposed" to do, walk the dogs, do the housework etc. I recognise that, at the moment at least I am a vile person to be around. I'm always passionate but just lately I will "go off" for no reason. I don't have a support network (if I told my parents they'd dismiss me) and my ex has spent the last 15 months playing mind games with me. A because he wants me to "lose it" so he and his fiancée can take my daughter from me and B because he's a @@@@ (add your own word).
As others have said, I can, do and will "put on a face", there aren't many people who I have opened up to? Why? Because of the attitude of people such as yourself.
I have the most wonderful gift in the world and would never be so selfish as to take my own life but that doesn't mean depression hasn't taken me that low before. It's invidious, it's debilitating and it's real
I hope you feel better soon. Do consider whether your anger at his treatment of you (and perhaps anger towards your dismissive parents) contributed to your depression though. Swallowing the anger means it has to go somewhere if it's not dealt with.
I now "allow" myself to _xpress my anger and to cry when it's appropriate and I know it has had a positive effect on me.
"
Thank you, I don't have anger to him, I'm afraid of him which is different, anger takes feeling and he's not worth that. My parents will never change and for all we fight and bicker I'd not change them either. And if I ever need to cry then I do, usually in an empty room because as soon as the hounds sense I'm upset they do one, I try not to cry in front of babe as it upsets her. I'm a strong old bird and will never be beaten but it is a struggle xx |
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Being withdrawn, struggling with everyday tasks, potentially other problems such as sleep issues, weight swings, becoming fixated on things or more easily distractable, erratic or unpredictable, emotional outbursts that may not seem sad, behaviour that is less socially acceptable, failure to care for oneself adequately - there are many traits that may hint at depression, but may also indicate something else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depression = anger turned inwards"
er thats a no.
i stopped looking for reasons why x i just deal with as best i can.
and i ignore comments such as the above. ignorance.  |
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Many signs most of them listed here just a horrible illness which most people just don't want to understand. anyone with depression doesn't want to feel the way they do. You wouldn't blame someone with a broken leg cause they were limping. I hate this illness |
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By *xpresMan
over a year ago
Elland |
As someone who has battled depression since I was a teen I have had good days bad days even upto good years(no pun) bad years..
Its a daily battle with millions of contributing factors on how your brain is feeling that particular Day/week/month/year. My head fuck has cost me my marriage, and numerous jobs in one way or another...
Its the fear factor that others dont know how to treat you from one minuet to another. The "D" word is a tag a stigma even a target for people who dont realy know you...
I hate the "Chin up" crowd or the "it could be worse" posy who always spring up when your on a black day.
If like me you battle this personal head fuck this Hell, you know what the signs are.. Who am I kidding the signs change from one person to another... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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a lovely chap that is unable to post on the forums yet has messaged me and suggested a couple of books that he felt really helped so sharing here as per his wish in hope they may help another
The compassionate mind" by Paul Gilbert and "Depressive Illness: The Curse of The Strong by Tim Cantopher. |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
From my own experience, I went through some bad times in the mid - 90's, when I was out of work, with little prospects for finding a new job soon, money worries, living alone and few close friends in my area, let anywhere else to turn to.
Then, I read a story plus a related Q&A quiz in a Sunday supplement magazine and it pointed out, in very general terms, that all the ailments I was going through, could possibly be the result of Depression.
I took the article to my excellent GP who, to his credit, read it through and agreed that it was something to think about and decided to get me in for an appointment with a Counsellor.
Two weeks later, I nervously attended what was to become several appointments. Yes, I was depressed as it came about in those handful of sessions, but it was the saving of me and helping me with my demons. My Counsellor got me professional help from other sources, to assist me and make me feel better. I pored my heart out, wept countless tears, but I came out if it far stronger than when I went in.
Someone asked earlier in this topic, "is it harder for men to accept depression?"
That came up time and time again in my meetings, where my Counsellor said that generally, Counselling is non-macho. Men tend to think they should always sort out their own problems, that going to someone else for help is acting like a total wimp, and they you are not a proper man if you do.
I'm not saying it will work for everyone but it did for me; when I plucked up the courage to tell my brother and father, the support I got then was invaluable and they encouraged me to do so.
I've never looked back since. |
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