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Forum stalking...
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Does anyone else go trawling back through forum posts of potential meets to get a feel for the person behind the posts?
If yes... does your opinion ever change as a result of your findings? | |||
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"No, I have never used the forums as a place to meet people. Socially yes, sexually No." I would love to say the same but I would be lying. It is a good way though of deciding to go to an event where someone will be though.  | |||
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said with tongue firmly in my cheek   | |||
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"No, I have never used the forums as a place to meet people. Socially yes, sexually No. I would love to say the same but I would be lying." Why ? I don't get the attitude. I don't understand why PO used the term stalking. Stalking is something bad. Reading what person post on PUBLIC forum, is not. I like to know that mindset have person I am meeting with. Isn't the mind the most part of our attraction? | |||
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"No, I have never used the forums as a place to meet people. Socially yes, sexually No. I would love to say the same but I would be lying. Why ? I don't get the attitude. I don't understand why PO used the term stalking. Stalking is something bad. Reading what person post on PUBLIC forum, is not. I like to know that mindset have person I am meeting with. Isn't the mind the most part of our attraction?" Blimey! 
If you'd 'stalked' any of my forum posts you'd get a feel for me. Untwist your knickers maybe?
Research/homework - call it what you will... I like to see if people are on the same wavelength. My mind is my biggest sexual organ.
No offense intended... I'm pretty sure those who do know me can vouch for that. | |||
"No, I have never used the forums as a place to meet people. Socially yes, sexually No. I would love to say the same but I would be lying. Why ? I don't get the attitude. I don't understand why PO used the term stalking. Stalking is something bad. Reading what person post on PUBLIC forum, is not. I like to know that mindset have person I am meeting with. Isn't the mind the most part of our attraction? Blimey!
If you'd 'stalked' any of my forum posts you'd get a feel for me. Untwist your knickers maybe?
Research/homework - call it what you will... I like to see if people are on the same wavelength. My mind is my biggest sexual organ.
No offense intended... I'm pretty sure those who do know me can vouch for that. "agreed mind is the biggest sexual organ that is why I spend time actually chatting to them rather than trawling through all the crap on the forums trying to find a gem of wisdom they may have posted. | |||
"It occurred to me that I might be alone with this but I'm gonna ask anyway.
Does anyone else go trawling back through forum posts of potential meets to get a feel for the person behind the posts?
If yes... does your opinion ever change as a result of your findings?"We don't use the forums to look for meets. Apart from a couple of exceptions we prefer to meet and play with those who don't use them. But there are a few forumites whose posts I enjoy reading so will occassionally hit the green arrow. Wouldn't call it stalking more curious. | |||
"I don't go back to look for postsbut I have thought id like to meet someone and then gone off the idea of meeting someone when I've seen something they posted " 
Or alternatively I've seen forum posts that have sparked an interest in meeting! | |||
"I don't go back to look for postsbut I have thought id like to meet someone and then gone off the idea of meeting someone when I've seen something they posted
Or alternatively I've seen forum posts that have sparked an interest in meeting!"And I've been involved in threads that have had the complete opposite affect. cost me a session in the naughty corner as well | |||
"Or alternatively I've seen forum posts that have sparked an interest in meeting!" Thus is definitely the case for us.
Only one (long since left the site) forumite has disappointed us.
I'll be honest there are people we actively avoid at socials due to their forum personas and fully expect people to say the same about me | |||
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"Or alternatively I've seen forum posts that have sparked an interest in meeting! Thus is definitely the case for us.
Only one (long since left the site) forumite has disappointed us.
I'll be honest there are people we actively avoid at socials due to their forum personas and fully expect people to say the same about me"I actually like you both forum wise and social wise I think you are great fun | |||
"I don't stalk but I've eyed up a few that led me to messaging that particular person because simply I've fancied them "HEY I'm over here | |||
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"I don't, mainly because I know I'm prone to ramble about shit (while still being perfectly normal-ish) so who am I to judge anyone else on what they post? " Haha! I'm a rambler too but I think maybe I'm also uber nosy!  | |||
"I don't, mainly because I know I'm prone to ramble about shit (while still being perfectly normal-ish) so who am I to judge anyone else on what they post? Haha! I'm a rambler too but I think maybe I'm also uber nosy! "Yeah I'm quite nosy too. You're putting ideas in my head now, I'm totally going to start doing this! | |||
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"It occurred to me that I might be alone with this but I'm gonna ask anyway.
Does anyone else go trawling back through forum posts of potential meets to get a feel for the person behind the posts?
If yes... does your opinion ever change as a result of your findings?"I'd say you do it cos you're a nosey moo
It might work for some but not everyone. As you well know, I'm not as a big a cheeky gobshite in RL as I am on here  | |||
" I'm afraid I'll do a little digging....look at backgrounds in pics, read veri and I guess yes if they post a lot I would take note. After all it gives hints about compatibility and mindsets. It's not stalking it's simply being curious. It's only stalking when it becomes obsessive for no purpose other than to get information for the sake of it ? Was it you who stole my boxer shorts from my washing line ? " Balls! Rumbled!
I was being flippant with the stalking thing... I forget nobody remembers me these days. It's all so serious and a bit bitey! I'm currently hiding in your boxers... you might have washed them! 
P.S. Who stole the lol emote? It makes my banter really obvious! I was kinda hoping to skip the spanking! | |||
" I'm afraid I'll do a little digging....look at backgrounds in pics, read veri and I guess yes if they post a lot I would take note. After all it gives hints about compatibility and mindsets. It's not stalking it's simply being curious. It's only stalking when it becomes obsessive for no purpose other than to get information for the sake of it ? Was it you who stole my boxer shorts from my washing line ? Balls! Rumbled!
I was being flippant with the stalking thing... I forget nobody remembers me these days. It's all so serious and a bit bitey! I'm currently hiding in your boxers... you might have washed them!
P.S. Who stole the lol emote? It makes my banter really obvious! I was kinda hoping to skip the spanking! "I never liked those Bart Simpson boxers anyway. Sure I remember you...always new faces here....though hey given face pic friday that's a good thing....enter lol emote. | |||
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It's not real life in the slightest... and as should not be used as a measure for how people really are in the flesh | |||
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" Things have changed massively since I first happened upon swinging sites and I'm not sure it's for the better. For me personally at least but I suspect that's a whole other topic that I'm not brave enough for. "Probably best Deej- someone will soon mention cliques and then it'll all go Godwin | |||
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"Meant to say yes I would read old posts to get a feel for people, think a lot of people would, think it gives great insight "Thank fuck for that! I was beginning to feel like a total weirdo!! | |||
"It occurred to me that I might be alone with this but I'm gonna ask anyway.
Does anyone else go trawling back through forum posts of potential meets to get a feel for the person behind the posts?
If yes... does your opinion ever change as a result of your findings?"No the amount of time I spend on here I really don't need to. I have probably already read them | |||
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"No, I have never used the forums as a place to meet people. Socially yes, sexually No."
Love the psychology of the forums. Human (sexual!) behaviour is fascinating. | |||
"No. You're typically made to jump through enough hoops just to get a meet of here that it makes you feel like a bloody dolphin. Why make more of your own hoops?" I really hope I've never made anyone feel like a dolphin... especially not a bloody one.
However... if someone approaches me and I'm interested, I generally look at their profile and have a bit of a mosey through their posts (if they use the forums). Likewise, if I'm interested in someone then I go and check them out. It's mainly cause I'm nosy and like clever, funny people.
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"No, I have never used the forums as a place to meet people. Socially yes, sexually No.
Love the psychology of the forums. Human (sexual!) behaviour is fascinating. "And this!! | |||
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"Very few people come onto these forums without an agenda. Most of them are trying to impress and catch the eye of passers by... and why not? These people are trying their best to represent themselves in a good light... to help their cause. Over these past months I've posted questions and explored ideas I would never have done if I was trying to represent us. That's because my wife and I are not yet swinging. We are just about to start and so I will soon disappear from here and spend my time arranging meets and parties. If either of us do post to the forum we'll be much more conscious of how we're coming across. Does that mean I've been the 'real' me these past months and that, from now on, we will be fake? Not at all. Before now I've been happy to ask any old whimsical question that has entered my head, no matter how indifferent I am to it, because I had nothing to lose in doing so. It's been great because I've been able to explore a whole range of issues from those which are unimportant to me, but still curious, to those which are puzzling and thought provoking. But if you pulled together all the posts I've made over these months you'd have a completely warped _iew of who I am. Why? Because I haven't been trying to represent who I am... I've been playing with ideas. When we start swinging it will be much more important to us to convey how lovely, relaxed, un-opinionated, un-pushy, fun, warm, and un-wordy we are as a couple. I'm sure when some of you finally bump into us you won't believe I am really Mpassion... for a start I'm liable to want to listen to your stories more than spout mine lol "I think the point is though that who we are 'leaks' into the posts we write, in between the lines, whether we want it to or not, over time. Someone could cynically manipulate their image it is true, and people are always going to be braver or more risque etc behind a keyboard, but I still think something comes through. It's like a profile - I find it really difficult to suss out people who have not filled in a profile, and yet even a few lines can give me a huge insight into who someone is and how their mind works. | |||
"Very few people come onto these forums without an agenda. Most of them are trying to impress and catch the eye of passers by... and why not? These people are trying their best to represent themselves in a good light... to help their cause. Over these past months I've posted questions and explored ideas I would never have done if I was trying to represent us. That's because my wife and I are not yet swinging. We are just about to start and so I will soon disappear from here and spend my time arranging meets and parties. If either of us do post to the forum we'll be much more conscious of how we're coming across. Does that mean I've been the 'real' me these past months and that, from now on, we will be fake? Not at all. Before now I've been happy to ask any old whimsical question that has entered my head, no matter how indifferent I am to it, because I had nothing to lose in doing so. It's been great because I've been able to explore a whole range of issues from those which are unimportant to me, but still curious, to those which are puzzling and thought provoking. But if you pulled together all the posts I've made over these months you'd have a completely warped _iew of who I am. Why? Because I haven't been trying to represent who I am... I've been playing with ideas. When we start swinging it will be much more important to us to convey how lovely, relaxed, un-opinionated, un-pushy, fun, warm, and un-wordy we are as a couple. I'm sure when some of you finally bump into us you won't believe I am really Mpassion... for a start I'm liable to want to listen to your stories more than spout mine lol
I think the point is though that who we are 'leaks' into the posts we write, in between the lines, whether we want it to or not, over time. Someone could cynically manipulate their image it is true, and people are always going to be braver or more risque etc behind a keyboard, but I still think something comes through.
It's like a profile - I find it really difficult to suss out people who have not filled in a profile, and yet even a few lines can give me a huge insight into who someone is and how their mind works." | |||
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"Funny, I found this thread through stalking. " | |||
" I'm afraid I'll do a little digging....look at backgrounds in pics, read veri and I guess yes if they post a lot I would take note. After all it gives hints about compatibility and mindsets. It's not stalking it's simply being curious. It's only stalking when it becomes obsessive for no purpose other than to get information for the sake of it ? Was it you who stole my boxer shorts from my washing line ? Balls! Rumbled!
I was being flippant with the stalking thing... I forget nobody remembers me these days. It's all so serious and a bit bitey! I'm currently hiding in your boxers... you might have washed them!
P.S. Who stole the lol emote? It makes my banter really obvious! I was kinda hoping to skip the spanking! "I remember you well xx You are correct in your assessments. Don't sit still the lobotomy machines sweep up regularly. | |||
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"No, I have never used the forums as a place to meet people. Socially yes, sexually No. I would love to say the same but I would be lying. Why ? I don't get the attitude. I don't understand why PO used the term stalking. Stalking is something bad. Reading what person post on PUBLIC forum, is not. I like to know that mindset have person I am meeting with. Isn't the mind the most part of our attraction?" Hi Laurenka ! Your English is great but maybe the slight nuances of wordplay are a bit tricky. Dirty Girl doesn't mean REAL stalking. She just meant she sometimes likes to read more posts to get more of an idea about a person. Mind you...... I do keep looking out of my window just in case ..... | |||
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"Jesus Christ O.P. Reading some of these responses does give a strong impression of people being 110% literal. "
I know... I wasn't quite sure how to respond to half of them! | |||
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oh well lol still here | |||
"Jesus Christ O.P. Reading some of these responses does give a strong impression of people being 110% literal. " | |||
"Very few people...blah blah blah...to listen to your stories more than spout mine lol
I think the point is though that who we are 'leaks' into the posts we write, in between the lines, whether we want it to or not, over time. Someone could cynically manipulate their image it is true, and people are always going to be braver or more risque etc behind a keyboard, but I still think something comes through."Thanks for this Frisky I've been thinking about this post since I wrote it. I was gonna say all you can tell about someone is their keyboard manners and then point at someone I know who has terrible keyboard manners but is actually a nice person in life... and then, upon reflection, I realised that he isn't really actually alll that nice lol
I think probably the most revealing things about me have not been my particular opinions or what prejudices people have accused me of... but rather that I'm comfortable enough to apologise when I've got things wrong, that I'm prepared to laugh at myself and undermine my own arguments just for comedy effect, that I'm happy to speak my own truth and not follow the heard all the time, that I try to keep away from making anything personal, and that I enjoy a quirky, perhaps ponderous, perhaps jokey, journey through ideas. If that's what you're getting at Frisky then I'd agree with you
Where this gets stretched too far, however, is when people read comments you've made and try to extrapolate some psychological profile of who you 'really' are. I've had one person tell me what I 'really' believe after one thread despite the fact that I am happy in the knowledge that I didn't 'really' believe what they were ultimately trying to read into it lol
So yes... the way people write tells you about their basic demeanor, whether they're polite, jovial, inquisitive, independently minded, etc. But no... imo forum posts are not revealing windows into a persons deepest inner most self lol | |||
" Thanks for this Frisky I've been thinking about this post since I wrote it. I was gonna say all you can tell about someone is their keyboard manners and then point at someone I know who has terrible keyboard manners but is actually a nice person in life... and then, upon reflection, I realised that he isn't really actually alll that nice lol
I think probably the most revealing things about me have not been my particular opinions or what prejudices people have accused me of... but rather that I'm comfortable enough to apologise when I've got things wrong, that I'm prepared to laugh at myself and undermine my own arguments just for comedy effect, that I'm happy to speak my own truth and not follow the heard all the time, that I try to keep away from making anything personal, and that I enjoy a quirky, perhaps ponderous, perhaps jokey, journey through ideas. If that's what you're getting at Frisky then I'd agree with you
Where this gets stretched too far, however, is when people read comments you've made and try to extrapolate some psychological profile of who you 'really' are. I've had one person tell me what I 'really' believe after one thread despite the fact that I am happy in the knowledge that I didn't 'really' believe what they were ultimately trying to read into it lol
So yes... the way people write tells you about their basic demeanor, whether they're polite, jovial, inquisitive, independently minded, etc. But no... imo forum posts are not revealing windows into a persons deepest inner most self lol "No, sorry, I think we will have to agree to disagree here! I very much believe the old adage 'Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks' and I think you can, over time, gain deep insights into a persons psyche, yes, unless they are consciously misleading, and damn good at it too. Of course it is easy to misinterpret some things, but I believe far more is discernable than you realise. | |||
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" Thanks for this Frisky I've been thinking about this post since I wrote it. I was gonna say all you can tell about someone is their keyboard manners and then point at someone I know who has terrible keyboard manners but is actually a nice person in life... and then, upon reflection, I realised that he isn't really actually alll that nice lol
I think probably the most revealing things about me have not been my particular opinions or what prejudices people have accused me of... but rather that I'm comfortable enough to apologise when I've got things wrong, that I'm prepared to laugh at myself and undermine my own arguments just for comedy effect, that I'm happy to speak my own truth and not follow the heard all the time, that I try to keep away from making anything personal, and that I enjoy a quirky, perhaps ponderous, perhaps jokey, journey through ideas. If that's what you're getting at Frisky then I'd agree with you
Where this gets stretched too far, however, is when people read comments you've made and try to extrapolate some psychological profile of who you 'really' are. I've had one person tell me what I 'really' believe after one thread despite the fact that I am happy in the knowledge that I didn't 'really' believe what they were ultimately trying to read into it lol
So yes... the way people write tells you about their basic demeanor, whether they're polite, jovial, inquisitive, independently minded, etc. But no... imo forum posts are not revealing windows into a persons deepest inner most self lol
No, sorry, I think we will have to agree to disagree here! I very much believe the old adage 'Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks' and I think you can, over time, gain deep insights into a persons psyche, yes, unless they are consciously misleading, and damn good at it too.
Of course it is easy to misinterpret some things, but I believe far more is discernable than you realise."Interpretations are tempered and bolstered by manifold personal influences . | |||
" Of course it is easy to misinterpret some things, but I believe far more is discernable than you realise. Interpretations are tempered and bolstered by manifold personal influences . " Of course, no argument....and yet.... | |||
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" Thanks for this Frisky I've been thinking about this post since I wrote it. I was gonna say all you can tell about someone is their keyboard manners and then point at someone I know who has terrible keyboard manners but is actually a nice person in life... and then, upon reflection, I realised that he isn't really actually alll that nice lol
I think probably the most revealing things about me have not been my particular opinions or what prejudices people have accused me of... but rather that I'm comfortable enough to apologise when I've got things wrong, that I'm prepared to laugh at myself and undermine my own arguments just for comedy effect, that I'm happy to speak my own truth and not follow the heard all the time, that I try to keep away from making anything personal, and that I enjoy a quirky, perhaps ponderous, perhaps jokey, journey through ideas. If that's what you're getting at Frisky then I'd agree with you
Where this gets stretched too far, however, is when people read comments you've made and try to extrapolate some psychological profile of who you 'really' are. I've had one person tell me what I 'really' believe after one thread despite the fact that I am happy in the knowledge that I didn't 'really' believe what they were ultimately trying to read into it lol
So yes... the way people write tells you about their basic demeanor, whether they're polite, jovial, inquisitive, independently minded, etc. But no... imo forum posts are not revealing windows into a persons deepest inner most self lol
No, sorry, I think we will have to agree to disagree here! I very much believe the old adage 'Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks' and I think you can, over time, gain deep insights into a persons psyche, yes, unless they are consciously misleading, and damn good at it too.
Of course it is easy to misinterpret some things, but I believe far more is discernable than you realise.
Interpretations are tempered and bolstered by manifold personal influences . "An opinion formed on the basis of scant random posts are unreliable and misleading. I was subject to such interpretations and deemed to lack basic empathy , "an awful excuse for a human being", on the weight of one opinion. They know nothing about me and yet they see fit to judge my personality and my morality. If they were made aware of the fact that I have worked for The Samaritans for over a decade , adjust their opinions? The fact that I was a photo journalist for fifteen years and had delivered babies in war zones, witnessed genocide, execution, fgm, brutality that would make you vomit, held children who died of starvation? Probably not, because they had forged judgement on that initial interpretation. Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups. Apologies, I had to get that off my chest, and no, I am not d*unk or high. | |||
" An opinion formed on the basis of scant random posts are unreliable and misleading. I was subject to such interpretations and deemed to lack basic empathy , "an awful excuse for a human being", on the weight of one opinion. " Yea, well, maybe they were just idiots then!!
Of course the bias and perceptiveness of the _iewer plays a big part in the accuracy of the impression formed, but to my mind you are going to be an articulate, playful wit who has an interesting background, and a depth of character, whatever else you may be that is not on display here. | |||
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"No, sorry, I think we will have to agree to disagree here! I very much believe the old adage 'Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks' and I think you can, over time, gain deep insights into a persons psyche, yes, unless they are consciously misleading, and damn good at it too. Of course it is easy to misinterpret some things, but I believe far more is discernable than you realise." I suspect that old adage was not intended to refer to a series of online text messages made anonymously to strangers on a niche sex forum
Your reply sounds a bit like crooked justice Surely you cannot actually confirm whether your insights about a person's character are right or wrong until you've actually met them?
I wrote a tremendously long winded and philosophical reply... but realised the paragraph above trumped everything else lol So you've been saved the eye strain
Put simply... we don't see enough of people's lives to be able to cast any credible opinion on them... what we do see is only words, not even their voice, so it's really difficult to figure out where they're really coming from when they are writing... and that presuming to imagine you know someone's inner psyche, beyond whether they're polite, impolite, etc, and despite never having met them is letting the judgmentalism that Fab feeds off (judging people by their pics, their profiles, their posts, etc) get the better of you imo.
The characters on here are like characters in a book. You clothe them with your own imagination. Judge that imagination, that online persona, by all means. But until you've met the person... perhaps give them the benefit of the doubt
(damn that was supposed to be the short version lol ) | |||
I guess online people can bullshit for Africa!!
.........or should I be on the Tunisia thread? | |||
"No, sorry, I think we will have to agree to disagree here! I very much believe the old adage 'Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks' and I think you can, over time, gain deep insights into a persons psyche, yes, unless they are consciously misleading, and damn good at it too. Of course it is easy to misinterpret some things, but I believe far more is discernable than you realise. I suspect that old adage was not intended to refer to a series of online text messages made anonymously to strangers on a niche sex forum
Your reply sounds a bit like crooked justice Surely you cannot actually confirm whether your insights about a person's character are right or wrong until you've actually met them?
I wrote a tremendously long winded and philosophical reply... but realised the paragraph above trumped everything else lol So you've been saved the eye strain
Put simply... we don't see enough of people's lives to be able to cast any credible opinion on them... what we do see is only words, not even their voice, so it's really difficult to figure out where they're really coming from when they are writing... and that presuming to imagine you know someone's inner psyche, beyond whether they're polite, impolite, etc, and despite never having met them is letting the judgmentalism that Fab feeds off (judging people by their pics, their profiles, their posts, etc) get the better of you imo.
The characters on here are like characters in a book. You clothe them with your own imagination. Judge that imagination, that online persona, by all means. But until you've met the person... perhaps give them the benefit of the doubt
(damn that was supposed to be the short version lol )"Sure, always give them the benefit of the doubt - I don't believe in judging people either. But the fact remains, I am going to form an impression of people, and it is my experience that sometimes quite accurate impressions can be formed. Sometimes otherwise, of course - all eventualities are factored into my equation! But I am damn sure I can perceive more than manners - so we will still have to agree to disagree!! | |||
"Nurses do that every day - but for peanuts! .....you need a halo readjustment "I am aware of what i lack amigo, Your analogy relating to nurses is more poignant than you imagine. | |||
" The characters on here are like characters in a book. You clothe them with your own imagination. Judge that imagination, that online persona, by all means. But until you've met the person... perhaps give them the benefit of the doubt
(damn that was supposed to be the short version lol )" love the way you worded this !!!! (Me mr) but giving them the benefit of anything is not going to happen !! On here there are your regulars then there back up folk suck ups then ,me / us.. Say it like it is, not to rude, maybe to honest for some ... Then we'll what do you call the dumb and dumber post/folke ? Just feckin annoying ....
The truth is pick a half dozen of us , put us together and all guaranteed will be completely different to what you expected!! | |||
"Nurses do that every day - but for peanuts! .....you need a halo readjustment
I am aware of what i lack amigo, Your analogy relating to nurses is more poignant than you imagine." | |||
"Nurses do that every day - but for peanuts! .....you need a halo readjustment
I am aware of what i lack amigo, Your analogy relating to nurses is more poignant than you imagine."Yo no soy tu amigo, sol! | |||
" The truth is pick a half dozen of us , put us together and all guaranteed will be completely different to what you expected!! "would be interesting to hear how people have found the people they have chatted to on forums and then met - id like to think i am much the same here as i really am - i dont read too much into the characters - i think ooo shes funny or hes up his own arse sometimes - nothing more than that - but then im not here as much as some | |||
"Hate to think what people conclude from my posts "That you are a fruitloop who promotes petrochemicals with your pants! I doubt there is one person on here that if we met in real life they would be how we imagined. However, once you have met them, you'd read their posts differently as you can apply their personalities to their writing | |||
"Nurses do that every day - but for peanuts! .....you need a halo readjustment
I am aware of what i lack amigo, Your analogy relating to nurses is more poignant than you imagine.
Yo no soy tu amigo, sol!"I shall rue my misfortune at that revalation.C'est la vie. | |||
What can this possibly say about these men?!? Perhaps the only thing we can say is either that they're pretty boring or they're good at playing the game. And dear old Shikhar, loosing his rag, and laying out his proudest accomplishments. How would he compare with someone who hasn't done the same. Are they less honorable? Or are they actually being modest and don't feel it becoming to advertise themselves in this way? Not picking on Shikhar in particular... but these forums do not reward true gentlemanly behavior. So maybe it's all the quiet one-liner men who are actually the true gents? How can we tell... they've literally written so little lol
So the contention is that we can gauge something of a persons true character by their forum posts. I'll concede that there are some things you may be able to sense... and maybe a fair bit beyond mere politeness if your lucky... but I do think there is also a certain type of person on the forums that takes this and runs with it, being quick to label people, extrapolating whole stories out of a simple mis-spelling, etc. So the people who believe they can do these amazing mind reading tricks need to be careful themselves... or else they might be coming across as extremely judgmental... and we all know how unsexy that is | |||
" The truth is pick a half dozen of us , put us together and all guaranteed will be completely different to what you expected!!
would be interesting to hear how people have found the people they have chatted to on forums and then met - id like to think i am much the same here as i really am - i dont read too much into the characters - i think ooo shes funny or hes up his own arse sometimes - nothing more than that - but then im not here as much as some "my experience is the few forum people I've met have been exactly like they are online
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"In my time I've come to understand that the most successful forum poster, on the male side, is the single male who has a nice avatar of their hunky torso, who mainly says little but what they say is mildly funny, and who sometimes speaks mildly out of line but quickly apologises as a token for independent thinking but not too independent. This is such a recipe for success I'm in a half mind to leave, myself, and return with said hunky avatar and mild mannered inconsequential small talk
What can this possibly say about these men?!? Perhaps the only thing we can say is either that they're pretty boring or they're good at playing the game. And dear old Shikhar, loosing his rag, and laying out his proudest accomplishments. How would he compare with someone who hasn't done the same. Are they less honorable? Or are they actually being modest and don't feel it becoming to advertise themselves in this way? Not picking on Shikhar in particular... but these forums do not reward true gentlemanly behavior. So maybe it's all the quiet one-liner men who are actually the true gents? How can we tell... they've literally written so little lol
So the contention is that we can gauge something of a persons true character by their forum posts. I'll concede that there are some things you may be able to sense... and maybe a fair bit beyond mere politeness if your lucky... but I do think there is also a certain type of person on the forums that takes this and runs with it, being quick to label people, extrapolating whole stories out of a simple mis-spelling, etc. So the people who believe they can do these amazing mind reading tricks need to be careful themselves... or else they might be coming across as extremely judgmental... and we all know how unsexy that is "It depends if the person is a regular poster or not, as I'm sure over time certain characteristics would emerge naturally in their writing. I can sometimes guess what a certain persons response will be before reading it. I think there is a degree of 'playing' the forum to your advantage ~ knowing when & where to comment / empathise / flirt etc etc....they can be another tool to get yourself noticed. | |||
"In my time I've come to understand that the most successful forum poster, on the male side, is the single male who has a nice avatar of their hunky torso, who mainly says little but what they say is mildly funny, and who sometimes speaks mildly out of line but quickly apologises as a token for independent thinking but not too independent. ..." Good point... but like attracts like. Would you want to meet an airhead?
Everyone I've met has been as I expected. But then I take posts with a pinch of salt. I don't use the forums to arse lick or hunt for meets, I enjoy the banter and discussion. I particularly like the posters that I disagree with and who argue their case in an adult, considered way. It's good fun. | |||
"It occurred to me that I might be alone with this but I'm gonna ask anyway.
Does anyone else go trawling back through forum posts of potential meets to get a feel for the person behind the posts?
If yes... does your opinion ever change as a result of your findings?"No. I use their profile and their veris, if any, to see what they are like and who they met | |||
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I posted yesterday, it was honest and open and it took some courage and that's there for anyone to read should they happen to poke through my posting history. That was a big deal for me and the positive comments and support afterwards have really made me feel better. Sometimes it is just perfectly okay to be yourself. I don't mind laying it bare every now and again (oooer) cause I kinda like me.
I suppose my thought on putting this thread up stemmed from curiosity of how other people _iew us. I've enjoyed having a discussion about it because it perhaps makes us consider what other people see when they read things that we write. Not everyone will agree, some will likely think I'm barking but one thing I can say is that I'm exactly the same online as I am offline. There are things I wouldn't say out loud in every day life, of course there are but I treat people the same way regardless of where I am.
I'm a shit swinger but I like people and they fascinate me. I've probably not been on forums as long as some and I'm no expert but I'm fascinated all the same so thanks for your input. | |||
"I thought about this thread when I posted in another yesterday. Perhaps it's naive of me to expect that everyone is as honest as I am. It may well be that I treat people as I would expect to be treated. I do think you can tell quite a lot from people by their posts though. I wouldn't base a whole opinion on it as it's not always about what's said, sometimes the way it's said. Body language and expression are clearly missing so it's not foolproof, it doesn't tell you everything but it's fairly easy to spot the gooduns. That's what I like. The gooduns who make me laugh. I like to laugh. I wanna hang out on a forum wasting time, talking mince with people I can pretty much say anything I like in front of and not have people judging me. That's what I found way back when I started posting on swinging forums and I think I may be seeing it all through rose tinted specs but I had so much fun being a gobshite in the old days when I was a newbie. Nostalgic maybe. There are moments to be serious, there are moments when you can actually have debates without it getting personal, discussions about all sorts of everything. Why would I want to hang out with people who whinge? Every day I read threads started with a complaint. It doesn't have to be that way, because we make it whichever way it is. We're responsible for the content. Our contributions, whether they make sense or not, whether it's shagging someone in the post above or giving some positive, helpful advice to someone new who asks. We fill it every day and then we moan that it's all shite. In the world we live in, with the stuff that's going on, wars, natural disasters, not so natural disasters and we're whinging about no shows and one liners. When I think about that (and I can moan too) but when I think properly about it, the perspective is rapid and hits me like a train. It may well be wishful thinking, but by jings, (my Gran would be proud of the 'jings') I'd rather hope for better for everyone than dwell in the things I can't change. People will often let you down, not everyone is everyone else's cup of tea but surely it's possible to make a reasonable first impression of someone by how they come across. You may be rolling your eyes and wondering whether I can actually be any more pink and fluffy. The answer is probably.
I posted yesterday, it was honest and open and it took some courage and that's there for anyone to read should they happen to poke through my posting history. That was a big deal for me and the positive comments and support afterwards have really made me feel better. Sometimes it is just perfectly okay to be yourself. I don't mind laying it bare every now and again (oooer) cause I kinda like me.
I suppose my thought on putting this thread up stemmed from curiosity of how other people _iew us. I've enjoyed having a discussion about it because it perhaps makes us consider what other people see when they read things that we write. Not everyone will agree, some will likely think I'm barking but one thing I can say is that I'm exactly the same online as I am offline. There are things I wouldn't say out loud in every day life, of course there are but I treat people the same way regardless of where I am.
I'm a shit swinger but I like people and they fascinate me. I've probably not been on forums as long as some and I'm no expert but I'm fascinated all the same so thanks for your input. "Made much better reading than the current Utd score!
A | |||
A | |||
"I thought about this thread when I posted in another yesterday. Perhaps it's naive of me to expect that everyone is as honest as I am. It may well be that I treat people as I would expect to be treated. I do think you can tell quite a lot from people by their posts though. I wouldn't base a whole opinion on it as it's not always about what's said, sometimes the way it's said. Body language and expression are clearly missing so it's not foolproof, it doesn't tell you everything but it's fairly easy to spot the gooduns. That's what I like. The gooduns who make me laugh. I like to laugh. I wanna hang out on a forum wasting time, talking mince with people I can pretty much say anything I like in front of and not have people judging me. That's what I found way back when I started posting on swinging forums and I think I may be seeing it all through rose tinted specs but I had so much fun being a gobshite in the old days when I was a newbie. Nostalgic maybe. There are moments to be serious, there are moments when you can actually have debates without it getting personal, discussions about all sorts of everything. Why would I want to hang out with people who whinge? Every day I read threads started with a complaint. It doesn't have to be that way, because we make it whichever way it is. We're responsible for the content. Our contributions, whether they make sense or not, whether it's shagging someone in the post above or giving some positive, helpful advice to someone new who asks. We fill it every day and then we moan that it's all shite. In the world we live in, with the stuff that's going on, wars, natural disasters, not so natural disasters and we're whinging about no shows and one liners. When I think about that (and I can moan too) but when I think properly about it, the perspective is rapid and hits me like a train. It may well be wishful thinking, but by jings, (my Gran would be proud of the 'jings') I'd rather hope for better for everyone than dwell in the things I can't change. People will often let you down, not everyone is everyone else's cup of tea but surely it's possible to make a reasonable first impression of someone by how they come across. You may be rolling your eyes and wondering whether I can actually be any more pink and fluffy. The answer is probably.
I posted yesterday, it was honest and open and it took some courage and that's there for anyone to read should they happen to poke through my posting history. That was a big deal for me and the positive comments and support afterwards have really made me feel better. Sometimes it is just perfectly okay to be yourself. I don't mind laying it bare every now and again (oooer) cause I kinda like me.
I suppose my thought on putting this thread up stemmed from curiosity of how other people _iew us. I've enjoyed having a discussion about it because it perhaps makes us consider what other people see when they read things that we write. Not everyone will agree, some will likely think I'm barking but one thing I can say is that I'm exactly the same online as I am offline. There are things I wouldn't say out loud in every day life, of course there are but I treat people the same way regardless of where I am.
I'm a shit swinger but I like people and they fascinate me. I've probably not been on forums as long as some and I'm no expert but I'm fascinated all the same so thanks for your input. "Brilliant post.
I will always think of you as pink n fluffy from now on.
x | |||
"Feck! Missed the equaliser while reading that. Let you off though!
A"Why thank you kind sir!
"Brilliant post.
I will always think of you as pink n fluffy from now on.
x"Haha... I just figure life is too short to be someone else. | |||
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"I read your post on the other thread and was very moved by it. I was going to write something about my wife and I... but sometimes it just feels wrong to go from one post to the next, like flipping tv channels after a moving news story. I almost feel that some threads should end when someone writes something truly human and resonant, like you did, so it can just hang there and be appreciated. So your post tells me that you are a brave woman with a beautiful soul. But I have an optimistic _iew of humanity and like to believe that everyone is capable of being beautiful if they can pick themselves up and be better people. I'll be honest... I'm not too sure the forums invite such better behavior. It often seems that people, and I'm also guilty of this from time to time, enjoy the whole Jerry Springer nature of some posts. I guess that's why I tend to gravitate towards threads like this which are more philosophical... and why I enjoy those rare posts that contain a germ of poetry and humanity in them, such as yours "That was such a lovely response. Thank you x | |||
"but I do read people's posts to get a feel for them, I am genuinely interested in human behaviour and this is a place to see the whole spectrum."
You can read more than words here. | |||
"In my time I've come to understand that the most successful forum poster, on the male side, is the single male who has a nice avatar of their hunky torso, who mainly says little but what they say is mildly funny, and who sometimes speaks mildly out of line but quickly apologises as a token for independent thinking but not too independent. This is such a recipe for success I'm in a half mind to leave, myself, and return with said hunky avatar and mild mannered inconsequential small talk
What can this possibly say about these men?!? Perhaps the only thing we can say is either that they're pretty boring or they're good at playing the game. And dear old Shikhar, loosing his rag, and laying out his proudest accomplishments. How would he compare with someone who hasn't done the same. Are they less honorable? Or are they actually being modest and don't feel it becoming to advertise themselves in this way? Not picking on Shikhar in particular... but these forums do not reward true gentlemanly behavior. So maybe it's all the quiet one-liner men who are actually the true gents? How can we tell... they've literally written so little lol
So the contention is that we can gauge something of a persons true character by their forum posts. I'll concede that there are some things you may be able to sense... and maybe a fair bit beyond mere politeness if your lucky... but I do think there is also a certain type of person on the forums that takes this and runs with it, being quick to label people, extrapolating whole stories out of a simple mis-spelling, etc. So the people who believe they can do these amazing mind reading tricks need to be careful themselves... or else they might be coming across as extremely judgmental... and we all know how unsexy that is "Interesting perspectives. I shall masticate and digest with time and diligence. For the record , I do not regard my experiences of life in terms of accomplishment or failure. For many who may not be as perceptive as yourself, clarification is required with examples of circumstance. I adore language and consequently am often regarded as verbose. Forums are not a vehicles I favour, to promote my sexual prowess, I am merely fueling my lust to empower my understanding of the human condition. I don't expect sexual favours for venting my thoughts . I beg an interlude as I have to bathe. | |||
