FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > is there an expectation to play on the first meet?
is there an expectation to play on the first meet?
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Depends...........
If its local then no problem......
Check each other out over a coffee.....
No big deal...
But if I have travelled a long way, particularly if they asked to see me... then I would certainly hope to play on the first meet!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess it would be unusual for someone to commit to that, but it could happen if the mutual chemistry was there straight away. I would always expect to meet socially first, as would the wife. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just think both parties need to be upfront about it. If it's just a social then fine, both know the score.
Personally I'm always clear that I want to meet for a drink and a chat with a _iew to playing on that meet if we're both comfortable and keen. Ladies I have met have been happy with that.
Only twice has play not happened. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We never "expect" anything, but always happy to play on a first meet if everybody agrees, even then we find its usually already been discussed beforehand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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to me its to have a laugh and see where it goes..more often than not it goes to the play stage.I rarely do the social meet up to see if I'm compatible with someone..I'm grown up enough to give rejection/take rejection(sexually speaking),and still enjoy the company. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A couple of years a go i remember bringing this up. I always ask for a social first. As a single woman, its for my own safety. Only i had one guy send me abuse when i said that saying its not a dating site etc. To be honest, i just think even if you went to a club, you don't just walk up to people and play. You chat, have a drink etc. I just like to see if we click first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of years a go i remember bringing this up. I always ask for a social first. As a single woman, its for my own safety. Only i had one guy send me abuse when i said that saying its not a dating site etc. To be honest, i just think even if you went to a club, you don't just walk up to people and play. You chat, have a drink etc. I just like to see if we click first"
 I agree. It all very well for people to say we have friends to socialise and have coffee with but Fab is for sex.
As a single woman I would never agree to meet up for sex on a first meet. If we get on then that's fine but what happens if I changed my mind and the man I meet is expecting more?
I've travelled a fair distance before now and chatted, exchanged texts and spoke on the phone before meeting and we ended up having a great night. BUT I was never made to feel it was expected of me.
We're all different on here and we should all be comfortable with what we decide to do. There is no wrong or right answer an no one should be made to feel bad if they want a social meet first.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of years a go i remember bringing this up. I always ask for a social first. As a single woman, its for my own safety. Only i had one guy send me abuse when i said that saying its not a dating site etc. To be honest, i just think even if you went to a club, you don't just walk up to people and play. You chat, have a drink etc. I just like to see if we click first
I agree. It all very well for people to say we have friends to socialise and have coffee with but Fab is for sex.
As a single woman I would never agree to meet up for sex on a first meet. If we get on then that's fine but what happens if I changed my mind and the man I meet is expecting more?
I've travelled a fair distance before now and chatted, exchanged texts and spoke on the phone before meeting and we ended up having a great night. BUT I was never made to feel it was expected of me.
We're all different on here and we should all be comfortable with what we decide to do. There is no wrong or right answer an no one should be made to feel bad if they want a social meet first. "
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"we have friends for coffee,and socialising,we meet people from fab for the sex
Essentially my attitude, we here for the same thing! "
I would say that this thread shows that we aren't all here for the same thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer to play on first meet but only meet someone after a little while to get to know them and chatting on phone etc. I don't have time for socials with Work and children and childcare is pretty non existent if it's not for Work. On a meet tho it's drinks and banter first and play later if all goes well and agree. If not then it's still nice to have met someone new and had a good evening x
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
It depends on the type of meet. If I'm dogging then I wouldn't expect many guys to want to come to a wood to just go home with full balls. However, if they are not what I'm hoping, then that can happen.
If I'm pubbing, then it is definitely not a sex meet. I'm not going round the back of a pub, or into a car park for fun with anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of years a go i remember bringing this up. I always ask for a social first. As a single woman, its for my own safety. Only i had one guy send me abuse when i said that saying its not a dating site etc. To be honest, i just think even if you went to a club, you don't just walk up to people and play. You chat, have a drink etc. I just like to see if we click first
I agree. It all very well for people to say we have friends to socialise and have coffee with but Fab is for sex.
As a single woman I would never agree to meet up for sex on a first meet. If we get on then that's fine but what happens if I changed my mind and the man I meet is expecting more?
I've travelled a fair distance before now and chatted, exchanged texts and spoke on the phone before meeting and we ended up having a great night. BUT I was never made to feel it was expected of me.
We're all different on here and we should all be comfortable with what we decide to do. There is no wrong or right answer an no one should be made to feel bad if they want a social meet first. "
I don't think those that want a social first are made to feel bad. I would say it's those of us that don't are sometimes made to feel like we would just meet and fuck anyone, when that is far from the truth. .... months of prep has to go into my meets because pretty much everyone I meet is from miles away it just doesn't make sense to meet for coffee. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of years a go i remember bringing this up. I always ask for a social first. As a single woman, its for my own safety. Only i had one guy send me abuse when i said that saying its not a dating site etc. To be honest, i just think even if you went to a club, you don't just walk up to people and play. You chat, have a drink etc. I just like to see if we click first
I agree. It all very well for people to say we have friends to socialise and have coffee with but Fab is for sex.
As a single woman I would never agree to meet up for sex on a first meet. If we get on then that's fine but what happens if I changed my mind and the man I meet is expecting more?
I've travelled a fair distance before now and chatted, exchanged texts and spoke on the phone before meeting and we ended up having a great night. BUT I was never made to feel it was expected of me.
We're all different on here and we should all be comfortable with what we decide to do. There is no wrong or right answer an no one should be made to feel bad if they want a social meet first.
I don't think those that want a social first are made to feel bad. I would say it's those of us that don't are sometimes made to feel like we would just meet and fuck anyone, when that is far from the truth. .... months of prep has to go into my meets because pretty much everyone I meet is from miles away it just doesn't make sense to meet for coffee. "
I never once said in my post that those who don't want a social would 'just meet and fuck anyone'. I've played on a first meet so that would be the last thing I'd say!
I was quoting another poster however, who said that she had one man send her abuse because she asked for a social so she was made to feel bad.
The point of my thread, which was obviously lost, is basically each to their own and do what you think is right and not what others tell you what they expect! |
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By *iss69Man
over a year ago
Knutsford |
"we have friends for coffee,and socialising,we meet people from fab for the sex"
Don't you have to be able to get on with the person your having sex with, converse with each other, for me its not only about the sex. Has to be some sort of mutual attraction there.
Maybe that's why am not having so much luck in meeting folk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of years a go i remember bringing this up. I always ask for a social first. As a single woman, its for my own safety. Only i had one guy send me abuse when i said that saying its not a dating site etc. To be honest, i just think even if you went to a club, you don't just walk up to people and play. You chat, have a drink etc. I just like to see if we click first
I agree. It all very well for people to say we have friends to socialise and have coffee with but Fab is for sex.
As a single woman I would never agree to meet up for sex on a first meet. If we get on then that's fine but what happens if I changed my mind and the man I meet is expecting more?
I've travelled a fair distance before now and chatted, exchanged texts and spoke on the phone before meeting and we ended up having a great night. BUT I was never made to feel it was expected of me.
We're all different on here and we should all be comfortable with what we decide to do. There is no wrong or right answer an no one should be made to feel bad if they want a social meet first.
I don't think those that want a social first are made to feel bad. I would say it's those of us that don't are sometimes made to feel like we would just meet and fuck anyone, when that is far from the truth. .... months of prep has to go into my meets because pretty much everyone I meet is from miles away it just doesn't make sense to meet for coffee.
I never once said in my post that those who don't want a social would 'just meet and fuck anyone'. I've played on a first meet so that would be the last thing I'd say!
I was quoting another poster however, who said that she had one man send her abuse because she asked for a social so she was made to feel bad.
The point of my thread, which was obviously lost, is basically each to their own and do what you think is right and not what others tell you what they expect!"
I didn't mean you had said that. I was just replying to your comment about people being made to feel bad about wanting a social. They certainly don't on the forums. And that is more what I was getting at. They may well be made to feel like that by guys desperate for sex though. |
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We do play on the first meet if our partners are happy and chemistry is right. It is important to set the rules boundaries and expectation before meeting. We think that people are here for the same reason as as. However if potential partners states that first social only we accept that. The only thing is we do are not into soft swap and we state this clearly before meeting to avoid disappointment on both sides |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We never have any expectations, being it a club, party or meet.
We like a social first, for a good laugh,and whatever happens from there on, happens.
Her  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of years a go i remember bringing this up. I always ask for a social first. As a single woman, its for my own safety. Only i had one guy send me abuse when i said that saying its not a dating site etc. To be honest, i just think even if you went to a club, you don't just walk up to people and play. You chat, have a drink etc. I just like to see if we click first
I agree. It all very well for people to say we have friends to socialise and have coffee with but Fab is for sex.
As a single woman I would never agree to meet up for sex on a first meet. If we get on then that's fine but what happens if I changed my mind and the man I meet is expecting more?
I've travelled a fair distance before now and chatted, exchanged texts and spoke on the phone before meeting and we ended up having a great night. BUT I was never made to feel it was expected of me.
We're all different on here and we should all be comfortable with what we decide to do. There is no wrong or right answer an no one should be made to feel bad if they want a social meet first.
I don't think those that want a social first are made to feel bad. I would say it's those of us that don't are sometimes made to feel like we would just meet and fuck anyone, when that is far from the truth. .... months of prep has to go into my meets because pretty much everyone I meet is from miles away it just doesn't make sense to meet for coffee.
I never once said in my post that those who don't want a social would 'just meet and fuck anyone'. I've played on a first meet so that would be the last thing I'd say!
I was quoting another poster however, who said that she had one man send her abuse because she asked for a social so she was made to feel bad.
The point of my thread, which was obviously lost, is basically each to their own and do what you think is right and not what others tell you what they expect!
I didn't mean you had said that. I was just replying to your comment about people being made to feel bad about wanting a social. They certainly don't on the forums. And that is more what I was getting at. They may well be made to feel like that by guys desperate for sex though. "
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By *-RealMan
over a year ago
South Lincs |
I try not to have any expectations before a first meet, I find it's best to go with the flow and focus on getting to know each other as people first. If the chemistry is right then things usually happen naturally, if not then nothing lost! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer to play on a first meet its not expected though, if i meet someone and we like each other i see no point in going home and arranging a play meet
but if we meet and i don't like them, even if they have traveled 100 miles i wont play and i wouldn't want anyone playing with me out of obligation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we have friends for coffee,and socialising,we meet people from fab for the sex
Don't you have to be able to get on with the person your having sex with, converse with each other, for me its not only about the sex. Has to be some sort of mutual attraction there.
Maybe that's why am not having so much luck in meeting folk"
Of course we do,we get to know the person as best we can on here,should we decide to meet,which to be honest is a small percentage of the ones who contact us,we are fairly sure sex is going to happen.has worked well for us so far. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do enjoy my socials gives you
both time to check person out.
Not to say I have played on a number
of socials when the chemistry is
right and Im horny its straight
back to mine for fun xxx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer to play on a first meet its not expected though, if i meet someone and we like each other i see no point in going home and arranging a play meet
but if we meet and i don't like them, even if they have traveled 100 miles i wont play and i wouldn't want anyone playing with me out of obligation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I only meet to play. It takes me long enough to find time for a meet as it is. .."
Totally agree ....
If someone wants a social we are not for them , and our profile does make it clear .
We have to arrange a babysitter and if we wanted to use a site for making social friendships , it wouldn't be this one .
If we didn't have children and were able to pop out whenever we felt like it , perhaps we would do social meets ...... Hang on , now I think about it , no we wouldn't !
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I do think it is totally different between couples and single females, the couples have their partner there to look out for them, single women have to look after themselves, so a social is best before committing to anything!
Though I have played on a first meet before but that is due to messaging for a long time before hand but I have also had a bad experience so would never put myself in that situation again! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do think it is totally different between couples and single females, the couples have their partner there to look out for them, single women have to look after themselves, so a social is best before committing to anything!
Though I have played on a first meet before but that is due to messaging for a long time before hand but I have also had a bad experience so would never put myself in that situation again! "
Totally agree with this, it's different if you're meeting someone alone, and anyone who wouldn't be prepared to make the time for a quick social meet first (which could just be an hour) wouldn't get the time of day from me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we have but we never assume to play even if its a further meet - we will chat before and if all are happy to play if we click etc this will have been spoken about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive had all of one meet and we was meeting just for a laugh really and a socialise Anyway after a night off banter and bad flirting we kissed And thats it haha! So i reckon thats sound on a first meet! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do think it is totally different between couples and single females, the couples have their partner there to look out for them, single women have to look after themselves, so a social is best before committing to anything!
Though I have played on a first meet before but that is due to messaging for a long time before hand but I have also had a bad experience so would never put myself in that situation again! "
Same here. Minus the bad experience, thankfully. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do think it is totally different between couples and single females, the couples have their partner there to look out for them, single women have to look after themselves, so a social is best before committing to anything!
Though I have played on a first meet before but that is due to messaging for a long time before hand but I have also had a bad experience so would never put myself in that situation again! "
For some single women....not all....I guess I'm not looking after myself then. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do think it is totally different between couples and single females, the couples have their partner there to look out for them, single women have to look after themselves, so a social is best before committing to anything!
Though I have played on a first meet before but that is due to messaging for a long time before hand but I have also had a bad experience so would never put myself in that situation again!
For some single women....not all....I guess I'm not looking after myself then. "
Ditto I'll second that. I can look after myself and would always meet in a public place then no problems. I've a fair bit of confidence tho. Have travelled to Staffordshire alone and back for a weekend meet. I guess we are all different tho |
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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago
Pleasuretown |
"A couple of years a go i remember bringing this up. I always ask for a social first. As a single woman, its for my own safety. Only i had one guy send me abuse when i said that saying its not a dating site etc. To be honest, i just think even if you went to a club, you don't just walk up to people and play. You chat, have a drink etc. I just like to see if we click first
I agree. It all very well for people to say we have friends to socialise and have coffee with but Fab is for sex.
As a single woman I would never agree to meet up for sex on a first meet. If we get on then that's fine but what happens if I changed my mind and the man I meet is expecting more?
I've travelled a fair distance before now and chatted, exchanged texts and spoke on the phone before meeting and we ended up having a great night. BUT I was never made to feel it was expected of me.
We're all different on here and we should all be comfortable with what we decide to do. There is no wrong or right answer an no one should be made to feel bad if they want a social meet first. "
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By *Kgirl80Woman
over a year ago
South Coast |
If by 'play' you mean 'fuck', then I hope not or I'm doing it wrong!
I'm not saying that I wouldn't ever consider it on a first meet, but if it was expected then it'd be a no. I wouldn't automatically expect a man to want to either though |
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We are all different and people on here range from instant fucking at the first possible second, to others who prefer a longer run up to it. Set expectations before meets and there are no supriser. |
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