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Disabled people on fab

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I was browsing through profiles and came across a profile of a gentleman who was in a wheelchair , first time I have seen someone disabled on here , not that it would bother me if the chemistry was there , just curios to know if many wheelchair users are on here ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have as well just seen one months ago.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman  over a year ago

little house on the praire

[Removed by poster at 08/08/14 17:18:42]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

There a few people on here with varying disabilities. Some contribute to the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have seen a few profiles where the person or the persons partner was disabled over the time I have been on fab. That's the thing with sex, once you are on a bed it does not really matter and every one needs sexual contact every once in a while. I have in the past bee. With a woman who could only just about walk with the aid of a frame but certainly enjoyed herself in the bedroom

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

I applaud them, swinging can be horrendously superficial so for disabled people to enter this world, they have balls

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

We all have needs whether able bodied or not

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/08/14 17:56:12]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm on crutches and had a naughty meet last week, those that count?lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Lol ermmm not if you just have a sprained ankle

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By *Kgirl80Woman  over a year ago

South Coast

I know a few, they don't broadcast it necessarily, but openly talk about when messaging etc

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Lol ermmm not if you just have a sprained ankle "

Close I busted my foot ha

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think it is lovely they haven't given up, some would I guess.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/08/14 21:27:39]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm disabled, I explain my limits before a meet most people are good about. My disability does not define me, just makes me more interesting

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I chat regularly with two wheelchair users... It's them I see not their chairs.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm disabled, I explain my limits before a meet most people are good about. My disability does not define me, just makes me more interesting "

totally agree , think it makes you more interesting :-]

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"I chat regularly with two wheelchair users... It's them I see not their chairs. "

I'd chat with anyone, doesn't mean I'd play with them. If Daniel Craig was in a wheelchair and gagging for it it'd be a no as my playroom with my brackets and hooks etc are on the third floor!

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By *ojo1964Man  over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Well I'm in a wheelchair and I tend to be upfront and tend to use humour to try and make ppl at ease when chatting. Surely its about ability NOT dis-ability?

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands


"We all have needs whether able bodied or not "
You're not wrong there LadyM, what I do have problem is with your comment that suggests my body isn't able. Trust me, give me the chance and I'll show you just how able it is

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Well I'm in a wheelchair and I tend to be upfront and tend to use humour to try and make ppl at ease when chatting. Surely its about ability NOT dis-ability? "

Fantastically put! And I'd add that surely it's about seeing the person and not the 'disability'.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Some people like the disability... I have friends on paradevo.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

good on em, as you say, if the chemistry was right, why the hell not

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I met a man in a wheelchair last weekend at a club.

I made him a cup of tea as he couldnt reach, had a chat, later on he was having the time of his life, bless him

Her

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By *ojo1964Man  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I met a man in a wheelchair last weekend at a club.

I made him a cup of tea as he couldnt reach, had a chat, later on he was having the time of his life, bless him

Her"

Bless him? Was he in need of Devine intervention? Sorry but as a wheelchair user I find that rather patronising!!

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By *londeCazWoman  over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Not sure whether I'd arrange a 1:1 with a wheelchair user as my house isn't disabled friendly, but I've chatted with people with varying disabilities in vanilla and swinging life and visited a club with a disabled friend...was also pretty much disabled before I had my hip replaced a coupla years ago (wheelchair access through Manchester Airport was an eye-opener for me)...as others have said, it's not the disability, it's the person

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I met a man in a wheelchair last weekend at a club.

I made him a cup of tea as he couldnt reach, had a chat, later on he was having the time of his life, bless him

Her

Bless him? Was he in need of Devine intervention? Sorry but as a wheelchair user I find that rather patronising!! "

call it patronising all you like i use the term " bless him" quite a lot, part of my mother tongue.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I work in the community with adults with learning disabilities and physical disabilities and constantly come into contact with the bless em brigade.I was guilty of this myself befor I went into this field but with all my training (which the general public doesn't have) I can see how detrimental it can be to the people it is aimed at.It's never meant to be insulting it just that people care but arnt aware of the effect their words can have

It just takes a little thought and understanding on both sides befor we speak

the poster who made the cup of tea didn't have to do that, it was an act of kindness that would have been given to anyone, even me, and im very difficult to please lol.

Happy Sunday everyone x

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By *mallteaserWoman  over a year ago

Central

I have a disability, and doesn't hold me back xxx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm disabled, choose not to say it on my profile that I have a disability. It's never stopped me from finding someone I care about ^_^

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By *mallteaserWoman  over a year ago

Central

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The wife has some issues and cant walk far, but enjoys fun especially if gentle

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I have a disability, and doesn't hold me back xxx"

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By *ickawitchCouple  over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)


"I met a man in a wheelchair last weekend at a club.

I made him a cup of tea as he couldnt reach, had a chat, later on he was having the time of his life, bless him

Her

Bless him? Was he in need of Devine intervention? Sorry but as a wheelchair user I find that rather patronising!! call it patronising all you like i use the term " bless him" quite a lot, part of my mother tongue.

Her"

I think different parts of the country have different expressions. Having made friends with people on here that we wouldn't come across ordinarily we have found the differences fun. I have learnt that bless you, cock, chick etc are terms of endearment and take them as such.....just because I don't use them in my world doesn't make them wrong - we are all different and that includes our terminology

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ah this thread is so cute! Good on you still enjoying yourselves! Makes me smile knowing that you still carry on! Your beautiful, just the way you are.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"I met a man in a wheelchair last weekend at a club.

I made him a cup of tea as he couldnt reach, had a chat, later on he was having the time of his life, bless him

Her

Bless him? Was he in need of Devine intervention? Sorry but as a wheelchair user I find that rather patronising!! call it patronising all you like i use the term " bless him" quite a lot, part of my mother tongue.

Her"

Would you have said 'bless him' if he was not disabled yet you had a good chat with him before seeing him have the 'time of his life'?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"Ah this thread is so cute! Good on you still enjoying yourselves! Makes me smile knowing that you still carry on! Your beautiful, just the way you are."

Patronising.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I met a man in a wheelchair last weekend at a club.

I made him a cup of tea as he couldnt reach, had a chat, later on he was having the time of his life, bless him

Her

Bless him? Was he in need of Devine intervention? Sorry but as a wheelchair user I find that rather patronising!! call it patronising all you like i use the term " bless him" quite a lot, part of my mother tongue.

Her

Would you have said 'bless him' if he was not disabled yet you had a good chat with him before seeing him have the 'time of his life'? "

i say it about everyone man, woman anybody, i say it proberly 20 times a day.

Her

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By *ojo1964Man  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I met a man in a wheelchair last weekend at a club.

I made him a cup of tea as he couldnt reach, had a chat, later on he was having the time of his life, bless him

Her

Bless him? Was he in need of Devine intervention? Sorry but as a wheelchair user I find that rather patronising!! call it patronising all you like i use the term " bless him" quite a lot, part of my mother tongue.

Her"

I understand it is part of your mother tongue and regional variations have a part to play, but the way it comes across it sounds patronising.

That's where I've been going wrong, maybe if had a cup of tea I might have the time of my life too? Just a thought....

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By *ojo1964Man  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Ah this thread is so cute! Good on you still enjoying yourselves! Makes me smile knowing that you still carry on! Your beautiful, just the way you are."

Tosser!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I met a man in a wheelchair last weekend at a club.

I made him a cup of tea as he couldnt reach, had a chat, later on he was having the time of his life, bless him

Her

Bless him? Was he in need of Devine intervention? Sorry but as a wheelchair user I find that rather patronising!! call it patronising all you like i use the term " bless him" quite a lot, part of my mother tongue.

Her

I understand it is part of your mother tongue and regional variations have a part to play, but the way it comes across it sounds patronising.

That's where I've been going wrong, maybe if had a cup of tea I might have the time of my life too? Just a thought...."

Me too! I dont express very well online anyway, i write what is in my head, comes out slap dash, and no one can see body language and tone of voice ect, i understand

Her

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I met a man in a wheelchair last weekend at a club.

I made him a cup of tea as he couldnt reach, had a chat, later on he was having the time of his life, bless him

Her

Bless him? Was he in need of Devine intervention? Sorry but as a wheelchair user I find that rather patronising!! call it patronising all you like i use the term " bless him" quite a lot, part of my mother tongue.

Her

Would you have said 'bless him' if he was not disabled yet you had a good chat with him before seeing him have the 'time of his life'? i say it about everyone man, woman anybody, i say it proberly 20 times a day.

Her"

In the first statement I took the bless him part to be related to him 'having the time of his life' not the fact that he had a disability! I grew up with a dad in a wheelchair so I understand that some people do have a patronising attitude towards the disabled (I've seen it many times) but that doesn't mean we tar everyone with the same brush! Plus remember that when it's written down with no intonation meaning can be very easily misconstrued.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ah this thread is so cute! Good on you still enjoying yourselves! Makes me smile knowing that you still carry on! Your beautiful, just the way you are.

Tosser!"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Jesus, what a minefield! Think I'll block and ignore that way I can't say the wrong thing. And it's the end of me holding doors open for people to. After all, I might be doing it in a patronising way.....

# doingyourselfmoreharmthangood

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I am disabled and use crutches, had to use a wheelchair for bit too. Only problem for me is that Chams has way to many stairs lol.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have met people with a physical disabilty it does not bother me what so ever as long as I find them attractive and the chemistry is right.

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By *ojo1964Man  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I am disabled and use crutches, had to use a wheelchair for bit too. Only problem for me is that Chams has way to many stairs lol."

This is the problem I have and most people won't meet outside of Chams, which is understandable.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

if they can still play and it feels good to both parties then the disabilty is irelivant.

I used to play with a femal who had a walking frame to get about but she could still suck a mean cock and loved her cunt being licked so all was good

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"Jesus, what a minefield! Think I'll block and ignore that way I can't say the wrong thing. And it's the end of me holding doors open for people to. After all, I might be doing it in a patronising way.....

# doingyourselfmoreharmthangood"

If you can't see the difference between manners and being patronising perhaps you should become a hermit?

I hold doors open for people of all abilities, I offer to help people of all abilities if they are struggling etc. That's not patronising.

Patronising is assuming that disabled people can't have sex and saying things like 'bless they're or 'its cute' or 'if they still want to play, good on em'. IMO of course

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By *ojo1964Man  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Jesus, what a minefield! Think I'll block and ignore that way I can't say the wrong thing. And it's the end of me holding doors open for people to. After all, I might be doing it in a patronising way.....

# doingyourselfmoreharmthangood

If you can't see the difference between manners and being patronising perhaps you should become a hermit?

I hold doors open for people of all abilities, I offer to help people of all abilities if they are struggling etc. That's not patronising.

Patronising is assuming that disabled people can't have sex and saying things like 'bless they're or 'its cute' or 'if they still want to play, good on em'. IMO of course "

Nicely put. that's exactly what was thinking but did know how to word it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

#giveashit

Maybe 20 years or so ago people with physical disabilities didn't get equality in the way they should have. Fast forward to 2014 present and here... it is the norm now and personal I don't bat a single eye lash when I see disability on the streets. The only disability lies within the mind of the disabled pperson.we have peaked equality and to be honest if my mate was chair bound or whatever.. I wouldn't give a shit it's still him!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"#giveashit

The only disability lies within the mind of the disabled pperson."

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple  over a year ago

in Lancashire


"#giveashit

Maybe 20 years or so ago people with physical disabilities didn't get equality in the way they should have. Fast forward to 2014 present and here... it is the norm now and personal I don't bat a single eye lash when I see disability on the streets. The only disability lies within the mind of the disabled pperson.we have peaked equality and to be honest if my mate was chair bound or whatever.. I wouldn't give a shit it's still him!"

borrow a wheelchair and try and access the public transport system in this country..

just one example of how we are decades away from being anywhere like a peak on equality..

attitudes, opportunities are still lacking..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I know loads of guys with legs and arms missing. It's a struggle for them to find someone who can accept their injuries.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Strip back the labels people are people

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

i saw one where the partner of the fem was wheelchair bound so he gave his blessing for his mrs to find fulfillment onhere

thought it was quite touching actually

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"#giveashit

Maybe 20 years or so ago people with physical disabilities didn't get equality in the way they should have. Fast forward to 2014 present and here... it is the norm now and personal I don't bat a single eye lash when I see disability on the streets. The only disability lies within the mind of the disabled pperson.we have peaked equality and to be honest if my mate was chair bound or whatever.. I wouldn't give a shit it's still him!"

All this proves is how little you know of disability and equality in this country!

Equality isn't just about how many services disabled people can access it's the way that everyone treats people. You're earlier comment of how this thread was 'cute' shows how some people still see disabled people doing everyday things as a novelty act or something.

Phrases like chair bound can be offensive also. Like you define the person by the fact they are in a wheelchair. My sister had to use a wheelchair when she was 5 and she was far from bound to the thing! She was rarely in it. My dad had to rescue her from the top of a playhouse in the park once lol

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"i saw one where the partner of the fem was wheelchair bound so he gave his blessing for his mrs to find fulfillment onhere

thought it was quite touching actually "

No more touching than any man that can't fulfil his wife's needs and let's her fuck other men with his blessing. Happens all the time.

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By *ojo1964Man  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"#giveashit

Maybe 20 years or so ago people with physical disabilities didn't get equality in the way they should have. Fast forward to 2014 present and here... it is the norm now and personal I don't bat a single eye lash when I see disability on the streets. The only disability lies within the mind of the disabled pperson.we have peaked equality and to be honest if my mate was chair bound or whatever.. I wouldn't give a shit it's still him!"

So are you saying that my Cerebral Palsy is in my mind? As for equality that will never happen, not in my life time.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"#giveashit

Maybe 20 years or so ago people with physical disabilities didn't get equality in the way they should have. Fast forward to 2014 present and here... it is the norm now and personal I don't bat a single eye lash when I see disability on the streets. The only disability lies within the mind of the disabled pperson.we have peaked equality and to be honest if my mate was chair bound or whatever.. I wouldn't give a shit it's still him!

All this proves is how little you know of disability and equality in this country!

Equality isn't just about how many services disabled people can access it's the way that everyone treats people. You're earlier comment of how this thread was 'cute' shows how some people still see disabled people doing everyday things as a novelty act or something.

Phrases like chair bound can be offensive also. Like you define the person by the fact they are in a wheelchair. My sister had to use a wheelchair when she was 5 and she was far from bound to the thing! She was rarely in it. My dad had to rescue her from the top of a playhouse in the park once lol"

Hmm. .. unless your a throw back from the 70's I can't see many people treating the disabled people badly.. I'm talking collectively as a population not specific individuals. Take a look around you.. They aren't any different and the majority of people treat them exactly the same.. They aren't special. No better or worse than you or I.

P.s I was being sarcastic with the cute comment.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"#giveashit

Maybe 20 years or so ago people with physical disabilities didn't get equality in the way they should have. Fast forward to 2014 present and here... it is the norm now and personal I don't bat a single eye lash when I see disability on the streets. The only disability lies within the mind of the disabled pperson.we have peaked equality and to be honest if my mate was chair bound or whatever.. I wouldn't give a shit it's still him!

So are you saying that my Cerebral Palsy is in my mind? As for equality that will never happen, not in my life time. "

NO NO NO NOT AT ALL! I'm saying the negativity can be all in your mind, not the illness lol!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Strip back the labels people are people "

So how can it be, you and I should get on so awfully.

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By *ojo1964Man  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I made him a cup of tea as he couldnt reach, had a chat, later on he was having the time of his life, bless him

Her"

Just to let you know I've had a cup of tea, I'm still waiting for the time of my life. Going to try coffee later. I'll keep you all informed. lol.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Good for them

Their humans and that sexual desire is there no matter what.

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By *ojo1964Man  over a year ago

Wolverhampton

[Removed by poster at 26/10/14 14:29:12]

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By *ojo1964Man  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"#giveashit

Maybe 20 years or so ago people with physical disabilities didn't get equality in the way they should have. Fast forward to 2014 present and here... it is the norm now and personal I don't bat a single eye lash when I see disability on the streets. The only disability lies within the mind of the disabled pperson.we have peaked equality and to be honest if my mate was chair bound or whatever.. I wouldn't give a shit it's still him!

All this proves is how little you know of disability and equality in this country!

Equality isn't just about how many services disabled people can access it's the way that everyone treats people. You're earlier comment of how this thread was 'cute' shows how some people still see disabled people doing everyday things as a novelty act or something.

Phrases like chair bound can be offensive also. Like you define the person by the fact they are in a wheelchair. My sister had to use a wheelchair when she was 5 and she was far from bound to the thing! She was rarely in it. My dad had to rescue her from the top of a playhouse in the park once lol

Hmm. .. unless your a throw back from the 70's I can't see many people treating the disabled people badly.. I'm talking collectively as a population not specific individuals. Take a look around you.. They aren't any different and the majority of people treat them exactly the same.. They aren't special. No better or worse than you or I.

P.s I was being sarcastic with the cute comment."

You said "The only disability lies within the mind of the disabled pperson." case closed. Please you sarcasms to yourself in future.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I can't be arsed with your pathetic cheap shots. Case closed.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"I can't be arsed with your pathetic cheap shots. Case closed."

Lol

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"#giveashit

Maybe 20 years or so ago people with physical disabilities didn't get equality in the way they should have. Fast forward to 2014 present and here... it is the norm now and personal I don't bat a single eye lash when I see disability on the streets. The only disability lies within the mind of the disabled pperson.we have peaked equality and to be honest if my mate was chair bound or whatever.. I wouldn't give a shit it's still him!

All this proves is how little you know of disability and equality in this country!

Equality isn't just about how many services disabled people can access it's the way that everyone treats people. You're earlier comment of how this thread was 'cute' shows how some people still see disabled people doing everyday things as a novelty act or something.

Phrases like chair bound can be offensive also. Like you define the person by the fact they are in a wheelchair. My sister had to use a wheelchair when she was 5 and she was far from bound to the thing! She was rarely in it. My dad had to rescue her from the top of a playhouse in the park once lol

Hmm. .. unless your a throw back from the 70's I can't see many people treating the disabled people badly.. I'm talking collectively as a population not specific individuals. Take a look around you.. They aren't any different and the majority of people treat them exactly the same.. They aren't special. No better or worse than you or I.

P.s I was being sarcastic with the cute comment."

Of course you were. Take the rose tinted spectacles off once in a while. Discrimination is still rife in this day and age. Only just this week I have rwad a story where 2 brothers with downs syndrome were refused entry to a local bowls club because some.member had complained that they felt uncomfortable with them being there!

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By *ojo1964Man  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I can't be arsed with your pathetic cheap shots. Case closed."

You started the cheap shots with your first comment!

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By *ojo1964Man  over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Being as a disabled swinger who is confined in a wheelchair. The one thing I do find it very irritating is when I write to people they will delete my message, which is entitled to but What really does annoy me is when they block me off their page.

I believe that there is no need for this. Because if they delete my message which they are entitled to, I have no problem with that. Some people might send a reply back. Then I Cinden replies saying thank you for their feedback. But to block somebody offered praise is I think very rude.

Can I ask disabled people or able-bodied people whether you agree with this practice and of course any disabled people has this happened to you?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am disabled and use crutches, had to use a wheelchair for bit too. Only problem for me is that Chams has way to many stairs lol.

This is the problem I have and most people won't meet outside of Chams, which is understandable."

Many people meet in places other than Chams !!!!!

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By *ojo1964Man  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I am disabled and use crutches, had to use a wheelchair for bit too. Only problem for me is that Chams has way to many stairs lol.

This is the problem I have and most people won't meet outside of Chams, which is understandable.

Many people meet in places other than Chams !!!!!"

I know that, only last week I meet a wonderful lady for coffee in Birmingham.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Being as a disabled swinger who is confined in a wheelchair. The one thing I do find it very irritating is when I write to people they will delete my message, which is entitled to but What really does annoy me is when they block me off their page.

I believe that there is no need for this. Because if they delete my message which they are entitled to, I have no problem with that. Some people might send a reply back. Then I Cinden replies saying thank you for their feedback. But to block somebody offered praise is I think very rude.

Can I ask disabled people or able-bodied people whether you agree with this practice and of course any disabled people has this happened to you?"

I am a disabled person but have not had this happen to me, however you can't be sure that they blocked you cus you are disabled .... i block peole who messege me but dont meet what i look for !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am disabled and use crutches, had to use a wheelchair for bit too. Only problem for me is that Chams has way to many stairs lol.

This is the problem I have and most people won't meet outside of Chams, which is understandable.

Many people meet in places other than Chams !!!!!

I know that, only last week I meet a wonderful lady for coffee in Birmingham. "

So why did you say "most people wont meet outside of chams " then ?

some eople dont even know what chams is let alone meet at it lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It happens all the time. - messages send then deleted and blocked.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

*people

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

no one is perfect,but we all have a heart,and we all like our bit of fun.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hubby is in wheelchair, I can stand but use one too, I've met a single guy or 2 but no luck on the couples yet

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Once meet with an ex Squaddie amputee. He was actually very skilled sexually and a very nice guy

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands


"Once meet with an ex Squaddie amputee. He was actually very skilled sexually and a very nice guy "

and why would you believe that he wouldn't be? he has an impairment due to his amputation, he is only disabled by peoples ignorance towards him by thinking that he's less able.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We have admired a disabled couples profile on here, where they sounded/looked lovely...I wanted to send a message, but didnt know what to say...started writing and struggled to get the words right and left it in the end.

Part of that may be the fear of being politically correct. In reality I know they are normal people just like us...but because of the pc hype I'm worried about accidentally offending by saying the wrong thing/coming across as a novelty hunter/do we mention the disability/dont we etc....start overthinking and end up just keeping quiet!

On a possibly interesting sidenote, Stella Young did a Ted Talk on disabled people being inspiration porn...a talk well worth watching...

http://www.ted.com/talks/stella_young_i_m_not_your_inspiration_thank_you_very_much?language=en

C

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My eldest sister has Spins Bifida.....ummmm its never stopped her..

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By *ingersoloWoman  over a year ago

Oldham

I'm from a family with lots of disabilities, I work with people who have severe disabilities and was in quite a long relationship with a man who was in a wheelchair.

Sometimes a disability can stop you doing certain things depending on the situation but everybody is a person First and foremost and as someone earlier said we should look at ability not disability.

And on a side note the sex with my ex who was in the wheelchair was the most amazing and mind opening I've ever experienced so never rule anybody out just because of a label. If there's a connection there's a connection. x

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands


"I'm from a family with lots of disabilities, I work with people who have severe disabilities and was in quite a long relationship with a man who was in a wheelchair.

Sometimes a disability can stop you doing certain things depending on the situation but everybody is a person First and foremost and as someone earlier said we should look at ability not disability.

And on a side note the sex with my ex who was in the wheelchair was the most amazing and mind opening I've ever experienced so never rule anybody out just because of a label. If there's a connection there's a connection. x"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I had a car crash when I was younger and now my left hand doesn't work as well as my right especially doing intricate things. Don't really _iew it as a disability, it's more of an annoyance.

Works better when I'm d*unk. Weird.

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands


"I'm from a family with lots of disabilities, I work with people who have severe disabilities and was in quite a long relationship with a man who was in a wheelchair.

Sometimes a disability can stop you doing certain things depending on the situation but everybody is a person First and foremost and as someone earlier said we should look at ability not disability.

And on a side note the sex with my ex who was in the wheelchair was the most amazing and mind opening I've ever experienced so never rule anybody out just because of a label. If there's a connection there's a connection. x"

Ginger, thanks for a fabulously positive response. I wanted to pm you privately but filters and all that Great social model of disability thread!

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By *eforfuncplCouple  over a year ago

Morecambe


"I was browsing through profiles and came across a profile of a gentleman who was in a wheelchair , first time I have seen someone disabled on here , not that it would bother me if the chemistry was there , just curios to know if many wheelchair users are on here ?"

Well done them !

So very brave of them in this at times a cruel world towards people with disabilities x

Carry on !! Xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Everyone deserves a sex life. Good on them for being brave and putting themselves out there. But as I work in a special needs school I cud not meet a disabled person. Does that make me a bad person?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I wonder if an important thing to realise is that people are people?

When you've met one person wth a disability, you've only met that one person.

Don't group everyone together with a label and assume it defines those people.

Slightly different but when I was going through infertility, I was discussing with friends (also going through infertility) about some of the incredibly hurtful things people say without thinking.

Turned out that some of us thought stuff was fine and others got offended.

Because everyone is different.

There were universal things not to say like "why don't you just adopt?" however.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I wonder if an important thing to realise is that people are people?

When you've met one person wth a disability, you've only met that one person.

Don't group everyone together with a label and assume it defines those people.

Slightly different but when I was going through infertility, I was discussing with friends (also going through infertility) about some of the incredibly hurtful things people say without thinking.

Turned out that some of us thought stuff was fine and others got offended.

Because everyone is different.

There were universal things not to say like "why don't you just adopt?" however.

"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I wonder if an important thing to realise is that people are people?

When you've met one person wth a disability, you've only met that one person.

Don't group everyone together with a label and assume it defines those people.

Slightly different but when I was going through infertility, I was discussing with friends (also going through infertility) about some of the incredibly hurtful things people say without thinking.

Turned out that some of us thought stuff was fine and others got offended.

Because everyone is different.

There were universal things not to say like "why don't you just adopt?" however.

"

Someone actually said to u, while u were going through infertility, to adopt??? How rude!! I can't believe someone wud say that!! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I applaud them, swinging can be horrendously superficial so for disabled people to enter this world, they have balls "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Someone actually said to u, while u were going through infertility, to adopt??? How rude!! I can't believe someone wud say that!! Xx"

I actually lost count of how many people said this. It's very, very common. Usually from people who have their own kids.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Nooooooooo!! I am not the most tactful person but this shocked me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We all have needs whether able bodied or not "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I posted ages ago about having psoriasis and swinging.

Mine is currently quite severe, although getting better. It's kinda horrific to look at and really knocks my confidence. I always have to warn a guy before he decides whether to go ahead with a meet.

Plus it's simultaneously incredibly itchy and very painful at it's worst, and uncomfortable when less severe. It has a huge impact on people's lives when it gets very bad.

Quite a few forum members posted who also have psoriasis.

I don't remember anyone coming onto the thread and saying "oh how brave they are, bless them" or something similar.

I'm trying to decide how I'd feel if someone had done that.

I can't help but think I'd feel really patronised?

I also wouldn't want it drawn attention to constantly, I like to forget about it. I have enough daily reminders as it is.

There's a difference between saying "I don't know how I'd cope if I was in a wheelchair, how much support do you get? Is there anything I can do?"

And saying "oh isn't he brave".

The latter really does sound like those people who talk to the carer of a disabled person about them, like the person with the disability isn't there. It's what you do with babies, not adults.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am disabled and use crutches, had to use a wheelchair for bit too. Only problem for me is that Chams has way to many stairs lol."

Actually never given it much consideration before - but none of the clubs I frequent are disabilaty/wheelchair friendly! They all have lots of stairs - usually very steep ones - hence itmust be difficult to enjoy the social aide of swinging if you're disabled! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am disabled and use crutches, had to use a wheelchair for bit too. Only problem for me is that Chams has way to many stairs lol.

Actually never given it much consideration before - but none of the clubs I frequent are disabilaty/wheelchair friendly! They all have lots of stairs - usually very steep ones - hence itmust be difficult to enjoy the social aide of swinging if you're disabled! Xx"

Social side - not social aide - sorry! Hope the clubs do something about this in the near future! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Someone actually said to u, while u were going through infertility, to adopt??? How rude!! I can't believe someone wud say that!! Xx

I actually lost count of how many people said this. It's very, very common. Usually from people who have their own kids."

funnily enough when I was told I couldn't have kids thanks to cancer, people told me to grow a pair and get on with it I was 38

Yet these all have kids and a family

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman  over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"

Someone actually said to u, while u were going through infertility, to adopt??? How rude!! I can't believe someone wud say that!! Xx

I actually lost count of how many people said this. It's very, very common. Usually from people who have their own kids.

funnily enough when I was told I couldn't have kids thanks to cancer, people told me to grow a pair and get on with it I was 38

Yet these all have kids and a family "

That's pretty horrific,not being able to have your own children was devastating for me. If I had been told this I don't know how I would have reacted

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman  over a year ago

Tenbury Wells

I know of several

Maybe it's because my profile says disabled that I notice it more on other profiles

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Been contacted by a few over the years I've been on here.

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands


"never given it much consideration before - but none of the clubs I frequent are disabilaty/wheelchair friendly! They all have lots of stairs - usually very steep ones - hence itmust be difficult to enjoy the social aide of swinging if you're disabled! Xx"

You're absolutely spot on Butt, because of that I have not been able to enjoy the club scene despite clubs having a stutory obligation to comply with the Equality Act and make reasonable adjustments, I dread to think or even conduct a straw poll of which clubs would actively go out of their way to welcome and make reasonable adjustments for disabled people? If there any club owners reading this thread, pay attention, you are running the risk by not complying and actively welcoming disabled people.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Someone actually said to u, while u were going through infertility, to adopt??? How rude!! I can't believe someone wud say that!! Xx

I actually lost count of how many people said this. It's very, very common. Usually from people who have their own kids.

funnily enough when I was told I couldn't have kids thanks to cancer, people told me to grow a pair and get on with it I was 38

Yet these all have kids and a family

That's pretty horrific,not being able to have your own children was devastating for me. If I had been told this I don't know how I would have reacted "

when the option was took from me yes was devastating even know that my sister in law has announced shes pregnant again she was worried about telling me

but now im stronger it wasnt my time

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman  over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"

Someone actually said to u, while u were going through infertility, to adopt??? How rude!! I can't believe someone wud say that!! Xx

I actually lost count of how many people said this. It's very, very common. Usually from people who have their own kids.

funnily enough when I was told I couldn't have kids thanks to cancer, people told me to grow a pair and get on with it I was 38

Yet these all have kids and a family

That's pretty horrific,not being able to have your own children was devastating for me. If I had been told this I don't know how I would have reacted

when the option was took from me yes was devastating even know that my sister in law has announced shes pregnant again she was worried about telling me

but now im stronger it wasnt my time "

I had that a lot from friends and family,being worried to tell us. It's not easy for your nearest and dearest,we adopted two little girls in the end. We went from one roller coaster of fertility treatment to the roller coaster of adoption. I can't remember the last time I felt sane

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By *allipygousMan  over a year ago

Leicester

I thought people with disabilities just wish to be treated as everyone else is?

If this is the case then you should simply accept that some may wish not to meet you purely because of your disability.

People who are excluded for other reasons, i.e being black, white, Asian, too short, too fat, too skinny, too old, too young, are told to concentrate on those that do wish to meet them and not those that don't.

You can't help your disability, just as some of the above examples can't help the reason they get rejected. Get over it and deal...

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands


"I thought people with disabilities just wish to be treated as everyone else is?

If this is the case then you should simply accept that some may wish not to meet you purely because of your disability.

People who are excluded for other reasons, i.e being black, white, Asian, too short, too fat, too skinny, too old, too young, are told to concentrate on those that do wish to meet them and not those that don't.

You can't help your disability, just as some of the above examples can't help the reason they get rejected. Get over it and deal..."

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By *mallteaserWoman  over a year ago

Central

I'm totally deaf, doesn't hold me back, does others meeting me though sadly x

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands


"I'm totally deaf, doesn't hold me back, does others meeting me though sadly x"
I'm totally Blind, doesn't hold me back either, doesn't hold those people that I've met who have seen past my impairment, guess however, that sadly it does others mind,

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By *mallteaserWoman  over a year ago

Central

There loss x

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands


"There loss x"
Exactly, my sentiments entirely

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By *ac711Man  over a year ago

south Wales

I am a stroke survivor and find it hard to get meets on this site

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Nobody should be discriminated against

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By *ampWithABrainWoman  over a year ago

Glasgow

A friend of mine has severe cerebral palsy...but is big in the bdsm scene where she lives. She used to babysit for me n I got comments on that! Why? She was a great babysitter my daughter adored her. Depending on a possible meet being able to get up to my 1st floor flat (I've a slipped disc n bad sciatica myself so of limited use on that score) not a problem. I also have a military background and am an ex care assistant so differences in body like amputations don't bother me, my only concern would be causing any pain.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am a stroke survivor and find it hard to get meets on this site "

Nah it's just cos you are a single bloke. They all find it hard.

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By *abes in the woodWoman  over a year ago

wales

Good on them we all need life

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am a stroke survivor and find it hard to get meets on this site "

Sorry but your profile put me off wanting to msg u

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands


"I am a stroke survivor and find it hard to get meets on this site

Sorry but your profile put me off wanting to msg u"

Don't feel disheartened Mal711, Jacks hasn't msg'd me either, sob. Just stick at it, put in the effort, and enjoy the forums along the way

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I met a man in a wheelchair last weekend at a club.

I made him a cup of tea as he couldnt reach, had a chat, later on he was having the time of his life, bless him

Her

Bless him? Was he in need of Devine intervention? Sorry but as a wheelchair user I find that rather patronising!! "

I find that patronising too and it horrifies me that people still seem to think like that in this modern world !!!

I am disabled, my sex life is the same as it was before i became disabled, my disability certainly doesn't stop me wanting or having sex !

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By *ojo1964Man  over a year ago

Wolverhampton

What was wrong with his profile? The guy was being truthful and honest.

The trouble with the website is that people are to quick to judge, and will delete or block.

I like the larger lady but it seems to me it's okay to be fat, yet disabilities are still taboo in the 21st Century. I would like to say look at the person, find out more about the person, ask questions, see what make tick, just don't judge a person from a couple of paragraphs.

After 1 out of 4 people are disabled whether physically or mentally.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I actually met a ex squaddie last week of here for a coffee not sex, he lost a leg in Afgan and is a amazing man.

Made me feel very humble and just a all round great guy never complains and just gets on with it.

Puts us all to shame really.

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By *reelove1969Couple  over a year ago

bristol


"There loss x"

but it isn't their loss if they didn't want to meet in the first place

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By *reelove1969Couple  over a year ago

bristol


"

I made him a cup of tea as he couldnt reach, had a chat, later on he was having the time of his life, bless him

Her

Bless him? Was he in need of Devine intervention? Sorry but as a wheelchair user I find that rather patronising!!

I find that patronising too and it horrifies me that people still seem to think like that in this modern world !!!

I am disabled, my sex life is the same as it was before i became disabled, my disability certainly doesn't stop me wanting or having sex !"

It was explained earlier in the thread that it is a figure of speach ...there is really nothing horrifying about it

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands


"

I made him a cup of tea as he couldnt reach, had a chat, later on he was having the time of his life, bless him

Her

Bless him? Was he in need of Devine intervention? Sorry but as a wheelchair user I find that rather patronising!!

I find that patronising too and it horrifies me that people still seem to think like that in this modern world !!!

I am disabled, my sex life is the same as it was before i became disabled, my disability certainly doesn't stop me wanting or having sex !

It was explained earlier in the thread that it is a figure of speach ...there is really nothing horrifying about it "

the trouble with relying on historic figures of speach is that people need to recognise that offence is easily taken, and what was perfectly acceptable many years ago, suddenly becomes very shocking to some, causes imense upset and is considered as being patronising....bless him, would rattle my cage as welll; though I know that it isn't meant in a derogatory way, it conjours up images of handicaped and helplessness, something that we are not and will not allow people to use language that reminds of! we are disabled by the non disabled persons world and society that we have to live in, that is all!

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By *andy_tomMan  over a year ago

wolverhampton


"We all have needs whether able bodied or not "

well said ,

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"#giveashit

Maybe 20 years or so ago people with physical disabilities didn't get equality in the way they should have. Fast forward to 2014 present and here... it is the norm now and personal I don't bat a single eye lash when I see disability on the streets. The only disability lies within the mind of the disabled pperson.we have peaked equality and to be honest if my mate was chair bound or whatever.. I wouldn't give a shit it's still him!

All this proves is how little you know of disability and equality in this country!

Equality isn't just about how many services disabled people can access it's the way that everyone treats people. You're earlier comment of how this thread was 'cute' shows how some people still see disabled people doing everyday things as a novelty act or something.

Phrases like chair bound can be offensive also. Like you define the person by the fact they are in a wheelchair. My sister had to use a wheelchair when she was 5 and she was far from bound to the thing! She was rarely in it. My dad had to rescue her from the top of a playhouse in the park once lol

Hmm. .. unless your a throw back from the 70's I can't see many people treating the disabled people badly.. I'm talking collectively as a population not specific individuals. Take a look around you.. They aren't any different and the majority of people treat them exactly the same.. They aren't special. No better or worse than you or I.

P.s I was being sarcastic with the cute comment.

You said "The only disability lies within the mind of the disabled pperson." case closed. Please you sarcasms to yourself in future. "

You are not showing yourself in a good light mate, you just sound angry. Trust me this anger wont be an attractive trait to the fine ladies in here. You've probably just shot yourself in the foot (no pun intended)

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands


"We all have needs whether able bodied or not

"

that infers that disabled people are not able, can be taken as patronising...

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

As with all equality threads on here some can recognise that there are inequalities and language that perpetrates that and others think the person experiencing unequal treatment has a chip on their shoulder.

Meet whomever you wish to if they are also willing to meet you. "Pity shags" are never attractive.

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By *oodmessMan  over a year ago

yumsville


"We all have needs whether able bodied or not

that infers that disabled people are not able, can be taken as patronising... "

It stands to reason that disabled people are not as able... otherwise, they wouldn't be registered as disabled.

Disabled people have limited ability, it doesn't mean they cannot do the things able bodied people can do - just, their ability to do them would be impaired. There is nothing patronising about that, it is a recognition of it.

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"#giveashit

Maybe 20 years or so ago people with physical disabilities didn't get equality in the way they should have. Fast forward to 2014 present and here... it is the norm now and personal I don't bat a single eye lash when I see disability on the streets. The only disability lies within the mind of the disabled pperson.we have peaked equality and to be honest if my mate was chair bound or whatever.. I wouldn't give a shit it's still him!

borrow a wheelchair and try and access the public transport system in this country..

just one example of how we are decades away from being anywhere like a peak on equality..

attitudes, opportunities are still lacking.."

I did just that a few weeks ago. I couldn't use the tube as my nearest stations are inaccessible. I couldn't go on the train for the same reason. Competing with buggies on the bus was interesting but what was more interesting was someone close to me saying they didn't want to go on the bus with me as getting the ramp in place takes too long and holds up the service.

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands


"We all have needs whether able bodied or not

that infers that disabled people are not able, can be taken as patronising...

It stands to reason that disabled people are not as able... otherwise, they wouldn't be registered as disabled.

Disabled people have limited ability, it doesn't mean they cannot do the things able bodied people can do - just, their ability to do them would be impaired. There is nothing patronising about that, it is a recognition of it."

that is reinforcing the medical model of disability, as disabled people we tend to look at it from the social model of disability, we are disabled by society, attitudes, the built environment and so on, take away those barriers and with them go discrimination and bigotted remarks such as seeing us as less able

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By *oodmessMan  over a year ago

yumsville


"We all have needs whether able bodied or not

that infers that disabled people are not able, can be taken as patronising...

It stands to reason that disabled people are not as able... otherwise, they wouldn't be registered as disabled.

Disabled people have limited ability, it doesn't mean they cannot do the things able bodied people can do - just, their ability to do them would be impaired. There is nothing patronising about that, it is a recognition of it. that is reinforcing the medical model of disability, as disabled people we tend to look at it from the social model of disability, we are disabled by society, attitudes, the built environment and so on, take away those barriers and with them go discrimination and bigotted remarks such as seeing us as less able"

If someone is physically, or mentally not able to do something - through injury or trauma, how is that society impairing them. There could be all the love in the world, combined with all the escalators in the world, but if someone has say Agoraphobia, all the social adjustments in the world will not help being stranded on a hill. Similarly, a double amputee, cannot reasonably expect to undertake a journey an able bodied person would due to sores, or physical fatigue (I am giving off the top of my head examples here). There is nothing, prejudice, but you have to realise that there are personal limitations - disability, as I said earlier, is a recognition of an inability.

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands


"We all have needs whether able bodied or not

that infers that disabled people are not able, can be taken as patronising...

It stands to reason that disabled people are not as able... otherwise, they wouldn't be registered as disabled.

Disabled people have limited ability, it doesn't mean they cannot do the things able bodied people can do - just, their ability to do them would be impaired. There is nothing patronising about that, it is a recognition of it. that is reinforcing the medical model of disability, as disabled people we tend to look at it from the social model of disability, we are disabled by society, attitudes, the built environment and so on, take away those barriers and with them go discrimination and bigotted remarks such as seeing us as less able

If someone is physically, or mentally not able to do something - through injury or trauma, how is that society impairing them. There could be all the love in the world, combined with all the escalators in the world, but if someone has say Agoraphobia, all the social adjustments in the world will not help being stranded on a hill. Similarly, a double amputee, cannot reasonably expect to undertake a journey an able bodied person would due to sores, or physical fatigue (I am giving off the top of my head examples here). There is nothing, prejudice, but you have to realise that there are personal limitations - disability, as I said earlier, is a recognition of an inability. "

by making reasonable adjustments a person with an impairment can dismantle barriers that disable them including using language that segregates and divides,

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman  over a year ago

Tenbury Wells

I manage

But my disability isn't as severe as some

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman  over a year ago

little house on the praire

For me it depends on the disability.

I couldn't meet a wheelchair user at my house as its not practical.

If I was becoming friends with someone their disability wouldn't bother me in the least, but I'm the kind of person to ask lots of questions and how it affects them.

I also like to be educated on things I'm ignorant off.

I have a good friend on here who has really made me stop and think and look at things differently.

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By *ojo1964Man  over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I still think people don't see the full picture. People are too quick to judge.

Just your mind and see where it leads you.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman  over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I still think people don't see the full picture. People are too quick to judge.

Just your mind and see where it leads you. "

there are many people on fab who are disabled, some on this thread who have a great time.

I know I'm going to sound harsh but try living your life around your disability and not through it.

Some clubs are wheelchair friendly vanilla alternative for one.

So your not the only wheelchair user on fab, maybe its other reasons why your not getting meets.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have seen the size of some of the cocks on here and I could imagine quite a few ladies needing a wheelchair after taking them!!!

Disability should not stop anyone playing or doing anything else they want.

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By *mallteaserWoman  over a year ago

Central

It's others sadly that are put off by meeting me, some people can't cant see past it x

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London

I've noticed there are people with a sense of entitlement. I want a shag but no one wants to meet me because I'm bi/black/asian/short/married/ginger/disabled/fat/hairy/have fake boobs etc (delete as applicable)!

When will some realise this is FANTASY...a HOBBY. We will NOT appeal to everyone so get over it. In the real world most people don't bat an eyelid at "differences" and our lives are often enriched by the people we meet. Whilst I have friends and family of different ages, nationalities, abilities etc for play purposes my fantasy figure is not a Harry Styles lookalike or someone in a wheelchair. Likewise there are people who like chatting to me and meeting socially but an old, fat, black woman doesn't float their boat sexually.

C'est la vie...don't see the problem.

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By *indmill and weetabixCouple  over a year ago

Kettering

Weetabix has a spinal condition that has led to her needing to use a walking stick ot crutches it has now led to having a suprapubic catheter fitted and our level of meets and interest in us as dropped off significantly.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I had an m fb who was in a wheelchair. He was a great bloke. Had he been able bodied he'd have had all the ladies after him.

And despite the fact his legs didn't work the sex was amazing. Obviously some positions were out of the question but it was always fun.

He gave up the game to find a relationship in the end.

He was a lovely person. Not just a wheelchair.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've noticed there are people with a sense of entitlement. I want a shag but no one wants to meet me because I'm bi/black/asian/short/married/ginger/disabled/fat/hairy/have fake boobs etc (delete as applicable)!

When will some realise this is FANTASY...a HOBBY. We will NOT appeal to everyone so get over it. In the real world most people don't bat an eyelid at "differences" and our lives are often enriched by the people we meet. Whilst I have friends and family of different ages, nationalities, abilities etc for play purposes my fantasy figure is not a Harry Styles lookalike or someone in a wheelchair. Likewise there are people who like chatting to me and meeting socially but an old, fat, black woman doesn't float their boat sexually.

C'est la vie...don't see the problem. "

This rules of attraction apply for every situation for us.

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By *uriousBristolCplCouple  over a year ago

Bristol


"We all have needs whether able bodied or not

that infers that disabled people are not able, can be taken as patronising...

It stands to reason that disabled people are not as able... otherwise, they wouldn't be registered as disabled.

Disabled people have limited ability, it doesn't mean they cannot do the things able bodied people can do - just, their ability to do them would be impaired. There is nothing patronising about that, it is a recognition of it."

Why would you say ''Stand to reason'' when I can't walk!!

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By *allipygousMan  over a year ago

Leicester


"I've noticed there are people with a sense of entitlement. I want a shag but no one wants to meet me because I'm bi/black/asian/short/married/ginger/disabled/fat/hairy/have fake boobs etc (delete as applicable)!

When will some realise this is FANTASY...a HOBBY. We will NOT appeal to everyone so get over it. In the real world most people don't bat an eyelid at "differences" and our lives are often enriched by the people we meet. Whilst I have friends and family of different ages, nationalities, abilities etc for play purposes my fantasy figure is not a Harry Styles lookalike or someone in a wheelchair. Likewise there are people who like chatting to me and meeting socially but an old, fat, black woman doesn't float their boat sexually.

C'est la vie...don't see the problem. "

Kind of what I said on this thread six weeks ago.

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By *andy_tomMan  over a year ago

wolverhampton


"We all have needs whether able bodied or not "

well said .

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"We all have needs whether able bodied or not

well said . "

I agree we all have needs but sex isn't a need: we can survive in ourselves without it. It provides a lot of things that supply the blocks of feeling well and happy but it's not food and water.

By putting NSA sex into a needs category puts people who don't want to meet that need as the bad guys and it's just not that simple.

I have met people with observable disabilities and those with hidden disabilities. I've taken it further than a social with some and not with others. The initial meeting was because that person interested me and I interested them. I am not interested in adding lots of disabled people from Fab to my social or sexual circles just because they have a disability and a "need" to meet me. Just as I'm not willing to meet anyone from Fab because they feel a "need" to meet me because they haven't had sex for a month or with a black woman or whatever "need" they are claiming.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Nicely put

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands

a guy could go off this site, on talking to a friend off the forums and...."if you were normal" or something along thos lines was said What with the inference that I was less able in this thread and now someone suggesting I'm not normal? golly now I know what its like to be Funky Monkey.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman  over a year ago

little house on the praire


"a guy could go off this site, on talking to a friend off the forums and...."if you were normal" or something along thos lines was said What with the inference that I was less able in this thread and now someone suggesting I'm not normal? golly now I know what its like to be Funky Monkey.

"

I don't think your friend was referring to you being blind, think they where referring to the fact your not normal in general

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands


"a guy could go off this site, on talking to a friend off the forums and...."if you were normal" or something along thos lines was said What with the inference that I was less able in this thread and now someone suggesting I'm not normal? golly now I know what its like to be Funky Monkey.

I don't think your friend was referring to you being blind, think they where referring to the fact your not normal in general "

Hmmmm? guess I've been rumbled

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By *ojo1964Man  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I still think people don't see the full picture. People are too quick to judge.

Just your mind and see where it leads you. there are many people on fab who are disabled, some on this thread who have a great time.

I know I'm going to sound harsh but try living your life around your disability and not through it.

Some clubs are wheelchair friendly vanilla alternative for one.

So your not the only wheelchair user on fab, maybe its other reasons why your not getting meets.

"

If you look at my profile you'll that I use humour and also I'm honest, imagine turning up for a meet not saying that I suffer from a disability, its not fair on the person I'm meeting.

As for clubs, its a non starter as Chams in Darlaston and Xtasia in West Bromwich are not wheelchair accessible, so if you look at most profiles, people will only meet at clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I still think people don't see the full picture. People are too quick to judge.

Just your mind and see where it leads you. there are many people on fab who are disabled, some on this thread who have a great time.

I know I'm going to sound harsh but try living your life around your disability and not through it.

Some clubs are wheelchair friendly vanilla alternative for one.

So your not the only wheelchair user on fab, maybe its other reasons why your not getting meets.

If you look at my profile you'll that I use humour and also I'm honest, imagine turning up for a meet not saying that I suffer from a disability, its not fair on the person I'm meeting.

As for clubs, its a non starter as Chams in Darlaston and Xtasia in West Bromwich are not wheelchair accessible, so if you look at most profiles, people will only meet at clubs. "

Liberty Elite is not too far away from you and they have everything apart from three private rooms on one level.

Pretty sure not everybody meets in clubs either. We have found on the private party and club scene people are very accommodating for all regardless of ability.

Inclusivity surprised us on the scene and is very much alive and well.

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By *uriousBristolCplCouple  over a year ago

Bristol

Part of this thread is incredibly reassuring, refreshing and uplifting as always great to hear people's positive attitudes/encouragement of people with disabilities enjoying this lifestyle.

There also seems to be a lot of oversensitivity because the spectrum of disability is so wide and vast that somebody will always say something that can be misconstrued and cause offence but at the end of the day people cannot become more informed if simple colloquial comments are taken the wrong way or misconstrued.

I've been in a chair now for over 15 years and our profile is honest and out there but I'd be horrified to think that people are put off from messaging us for fear of saying the wrong thing. My attitude towards disability is that I would rather people ask what they may perceive to be an awkward question rather than not, and never finding out the answer. When we start conversing with people then usually find the people ask the most questions are the people that you are going to hit it off with as they are already thinking about ways of mixing things up so that the disability doesn't define our fun going forward.

I think the comment regarding most people meeting at clubs is way off the mark as you only see that on a few profiles and yes there are lots of clubs that are inaccessible but if you really want to attend one there are plenty of accommodating ones around the country. It might just be a case that you have to make a weekend of it If it's a fair distance away

As I said this lifestyle has surprised us massively in terms of people's attitudes to looking at ability rather than disability and we have had some amazing times and met some great people along the way.

Life with a disability is always going to present different challenges but at the end of the day the majority face challenges every day of their lives in one way or another, so you really do just have to crack on and love your life.

Also, try to think past the fact that people are not wanting to meet you because of your disability because at the end of the day it boils down to the age-old comment on here that constantly appears and that people's preferences which we are all fully entitled to. People get knocked back for a multitude of different reasons, so don't always assume it's because of your condition or disability

Don't be bitter be better

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

And is there a point to it.... Shall we highlight that we have disabilities because we're abnormal.... Idiot springs to mind.

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By *uriousBristolCplCouple  over a year ago

Bristol


"And is there a point to it.... Shall we highlight that we have disabilities because we're abnormal.... Idiot springs to mind. "

Me?

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By *ystical_InkedBBWWoman  over a year ago

somewhere in the Shire of Derby

I've been on the site 5 years, a BBW with a prosthetic leg, other health issues and heavily tattooed, and I don't have any problems. I've had some really good meets, and some not so good. I'm upfront about what I'm looking for and you can always tell when people haven't read your profile, but if someone decides it's not for them and vice versa, I use the block button. Each to their own but I've never been offended by anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Good on you you are right they have not read your file

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands

least we not forget...bounce?

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands

personally there isn't anything on fab that is disabling enough that we can't dismantle or overcome is there?

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By *aymondBaroneMan  over a year ago

Manchester

I watched a programme on bbc 3 recently called "The ugly face of disability: hate crime" lots of things in that show that I was totally unaware of and makes for interesting _iewing. It's on iplayer still for a few more weeks . Whether you are disabled or not I advise to watch it as it'll open your eyes to different ways disability can be judged in general life.

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By *osieWoman  over a year ago

Wembley


"...

, they have balls "

The women too? Interesting

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn


"...

, they have balls

The women too? Interesting"

how funny

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By *osieWoman  over a year ago

Wembley


"...

, they have balls

The women too? Interesting

how funny"

no; it would be weird

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn


"...

, they have balls

The women too? Interesting

how funny

no; it would be weird

"

it is clear what I meant in my post, not literally and well you know.....

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By *osieWoman  over a year ago

Wembley


"...

, they have balls

The women too? Interesting

how funny

no; it would be weird

it is clear what I meant in my post, not literally and well you know....."

calm down

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It happens in life so expect same on line, sad when someone has to use someone else's indifferences for self esteem

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands


"I watched a programme on bbc 3 recently called "The ugly face of disability: hate crime" lots of things in that show that I was totally unaware of and makes for interesting _iewing. It's on iplayer still for a few more weeks . Whether you are disabled or not I advise to watch it as it'll open your eyes to different ways disability can be judged in general life. "

this

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By *evaquitCouple  over a year ago

Catthorpe

Swinging as far as we're aware is a cross section of society, fully expected disabled people to be part of it.

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"It happens in life so expect same on line, sad when someone has to use someone else's indifferences for self esteem"

Are you saying if someone doesn't play with a disabled person it's down to ego?!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was browsing through profiles and came across a profile of a gentleman who was in a wheelchair , first time I have seen someone disabled on here , not that it would bother me if the chemistry was there , just curios to know if many wheelchair users are on here ?"

I attended a FFFF event at Xtasia a while back. Was a guy in a wheelchair there.... So clearly no problem!

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"I watched a programme on bbc 3 recently called "The ugly face of disability: hate crime" lots of things in that show that I was totally unaware of and makes for interesting _iewing. It's on iplayer still for a few more weeks . Whether you are disabled or not I advise to watch it as it'll open your eyes to different ways disability can be judged in general life. "

And you think only disabled people are discriminated against in general life?!!

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands


"

And you think only disabled people are discriminated against in general life?!! "

nobody so far has suggested that, each one of the protected characteristics within the equality act attracts its own discrimination, race hatred and crime resulting from that I believe is still a criminal offence (may be wrong) whereas disability hate crime I'm not sure about, maybe you know?

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman  over a year ago

Deviant City

People think I'm a novelty or that I need sympathy shags, so I'd rather not meet anymore.

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By *he tactile technicianMan  over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands


"People think I'm a novelty or that I need sympathy shags, so I'd rather not meet anymore. "

Hmmm? shame, your verifications don't come across that way, and you're obviously still meeting or is it starting 1st August

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

One disabled woman who has since left, and a few Carers.

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