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Man Convicted of Rape at La Chambre

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Sorry if its been mentioned already but just read a man has been convicted of raping a female guest at the club.

cant post link from mobby

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple over a year ago

in Lancashire

no means no..

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I'm glad the case was taken seriously and action taken.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Disgrace x

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Blimey!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's shocking

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By *trawberry-popWoman over a year ago

South East Midlands NOT

Wow i'm shocked it happened in that environment. Poor woman!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Crikey

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's reassuring to know that sexual assault is taken seriously when it occurs within a swingers club. Hopefully, it'll help those that doesn't already realise it that a swingers club isn't a free for all. There are many people who could do with being reminded that until they have consent, they should keep their hands and other bits to themselves.

crystal

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"That's shocking"

Rape happens in all sorts of places. Convictions when it is in an overtly sexual setting less so.

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"It's reassuring to know that sexual assault is taken seriously when it occurs within a swingers club. Hopefully, it'll help those that doesn't already realise it that a swingers club isn't a free for all. There are many people who could do with being reminded that until they have consent, they should keep their hands and other bits to themselves.

crystal"

this....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He may get his cumuppence in jail.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

crystal"

Absolutely - that goes for deciding to spill their ejaculate all over you right through to fucking. Consent is what makes swinging work.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Would think others in club would notice..Unfortunately I'm not aware of the club and layout

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Terrible but at least it's been taken seriously

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

crystal

Absolutely - that goes for deciding to spill their ejaculate all over you right through to fucking. Consent is what makes swinging work.

One thing I can't get my head around is that it seems accepted for people to masturbate whilst watching you doing whatever you're doing. In the fet scene, it's frowned upon unless you've given your consent.

Personally, I've had more trouble with ladies grabbing me or touching me when they haven't asked first. I wonder how long it'll take for them to realise that just because we're both female it does not make it ok to grab me and if it was a man that did it, he would be thrown out the door.

crystal

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

crystal

Absolutely - that goes for deciding to spill their ejaculate all over you right through to fucking. Consent is what makes swinging work.

crystal"

I don't mind them wanking if I am in a public place as long as they are not touching me or shoving their bits at me and cumming on me.

I agree about women though. The same rules apply. How hard is it to say "may I"?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Maybe women will also realise they can't just wonder up to men and start touching them in a sexually inappropriate way. I've often seen them hunting in packs looking for a male victim

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Maybe women will also realise they can't just wonder up to men and start touching them in a sexually inappropriate way. I've often seen them hunting in packs looking for a male victim

I haven't seen that in clubs but I can imagine it happening.

I have found a beckoning finger works very well and there is no need to pounce on anyone until they consent.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Personal prejudice would have made me think that any jury considering the case would have found reasonable doubt just because a woman was at a sex club. It is reassuring to see that a jury had made a decision based on the facts of the case. It does bother me when I see people touching others who are playing without having been invited in clubs and maybe this is something that does need clearer guidelines to protect everyone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I detest males wanking outside the chalet door at Kestrels and its a pity we have to lock the door.

Only once have I had to threaten to report to the manager when one male started pleading to be let in ... He soon vanished. .. Glad to see police taking this seriously.

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me.

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By *reelove1969Couple over a year ago

bristol

no idea what happened ...i observed ...and the everyone backed the woman ..

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By *chillesHeelCouple over a year ago

Somerset

"All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me. "

Such a shame because I've only had very positive experiences! In fact, I'd like someone/a couple to have been a bit more proactive to counteract our nervousness!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

crystal

this....

Hit the proverbial nail on the head there

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

crystal"

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

crystal"

I'm not keen on people gathered round me wanking either. It's fine if they keep their distance but it can be distracting, and too many seem to think it's fine to splooge all over whomever they want to, so you have to have one part of your brain tracking who is where, so you can ask them to move back a bit and keep their man gunk away from you if necessary. That spoils things a bit for me.

That said, I've been at fet events with the obligatory pot bellied, bare chested men in stinky leather waistcoats and crusty pouches who stand at the sidelines, alone, wanking furiously. That's equally nasty.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

crystal

I've never seen this happening at a fet event (not to say it doesn't happen, I've been told it does by several people). It makes me feel awkward and embarrassed. I really appreciate it when other people ask them to step back. If I wanted someone to join in, I would invite them providing everyone else was happy.

I don't understand why men think standing over you waving their cock in your face is going to get them anything more than a go away.

I've also had a situation where I was mucking about in a room with a few others and there was this vile women barking vulgar comments at us through the bars. It really put me off. Again, she didn't ask if it was ok for her to do that. As we were in view, I can understand people watching but not trying to engage without invite.

crystal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im glad she was taken seriously and someone has been convicted despite the surroundings

There have been at least 3 occassions over the last 6 yrs where I have been touched without permission,mostly dealt with by myself or my OH effectively but one time when I should have dealt with it in a better way but thought I would have been made to feel likeca killjoy with no sense of humour,ive learnt a lesson from that though and wouldn't allow the same situation to happen again

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By *empting Devil.Woman over a year ago

Sheffield

He was not a member of the club and was there as part of a cabaret. It is generally the case that new members are given a thorough tour where the club rules and etiquette of swinging are explained in detail.

One thing I noticed from the press coverage is that apparently he took viagra before going. That suggests to me that he believed he would be getting sex before he even left his house.

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me.

Such a shame because I've only had very positive experiences! In fact, I'd like someone/a couple to have been a bit more proactive to counteract our nervousness!! "

Nothing posted on here has made me change my mind. The reverse if anything else. Guess I'm simply not suited to the club experience.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me. "

this!!

shocking!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im glad she was taken seriously and someone has been convicted despite the surroundings

we have been at a social where a guy was a little keen on me - i gave all the responses and body language to say back off without being rude and causing a bad atmosphere within the group - but his hand still appeared on my leg - it was dealt with with a few well chosen words from W and we left soon after - the rest of the evening had been fun and no need to push it towards the end - im sorry for the woman involved but glad of the outcome - does emphasise the no is no -

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By *eddonistikMan over a year ago

Manchester

"All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me.

Such a shame because I've only had very positive experiences! In fact, I'd like someone/a couple to have been a bit more proactive to counteract our nervousness!!

Nothing posted on here has made me change my mind. The reverse if anything else. Guess I'm simply not suited to the club experience. "

100 %

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By *eddonistikMan over a year ago

Manchester

"All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me.

Such a shame because I've only had very positive experiences! In fact, I'd like someone/a couple to have been a bit more proactive to counteract our nervousness!!

Nothing posted on here has made me change my mind. The reverse if anything else. Guess I'm simply not suited to the club experience. "

Love your profile, cuts out all the bullshit. Just one question, what's a DB9?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i just googled db9 -very sexy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Swingers clubs are more than likely the safest place to frequent,you have more chance of being sexually assaulted in a pub or night club, or the bloody London underground during rush he, and yes I'm speaking of exp

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By *alandNitaCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

In an environment which relies so much on trust and mutual respect, I would have thought that the risks of his type of thing happening in a private environment are much higher than in a club where there are so many other people.

Especially for single ladies, I'd guess that most have been in a situation where they have been getting quite intimate but something changed and you wanted to end the situation, or the meet has wanted to do things that you haven't (You want to stick that were).

At least in a club if you scream for help, help WILL break down the door to get you. That help will not just be the staff of the club, but also many of the members.

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

no does mean no .. clubs are for consensual sex ... sex is a consensual act no matter where it takes place

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

crystal"

Exactly this..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Swingers clubs are more than likely the safest place to frequent,you have more chance of being sexually assaulted in a pub or night club, or the bloody London underground during rush he, and yes I'm speaking of exp"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In an environment which relies so much on trust and mutual respect, I would have thought that the risks of his type of thing happening in a private environment are much higher than in a club where there are so many other people.

At least in a club if you scream for help, help WILL break down the door to get you. That help will not just be the staff of the club, but also many of the members.

The problem is when people are too afraid to scream for help.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me. "

Im not at all surprised that a woman got raped at a swingers club.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me.

Im not at all surprised that a woman got raped at a swingers club."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me.

Im not at all surprised that a woman got raped at a swingers club."

Why?

Do you mean because of the issues with disrespectful people that are so often discussed on here? Tales of guys trying to break into locked rooms to get at the people in there?

Those cases are rare. But it is a good point. If at least one guy that has acted this way at a club reads this... and changes his ways.... good.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted.

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted."

In the clubs I've been to, "men like that" would be out the door in 5 minutes flat, possibly without their bollocks depending on who they'd been pushy with.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me.

Im not at all surprised that a woman got raped at a swingers club."
So because a woman goes to go to a swingers club, she is up for anything and asks to be raped?

Her

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a club goer I've been following this story in the press with interest. I think the one thing its highlighted for me is that if you get unwanted attention in a club you have to speak up. You have to be strong to be a single female clubber. Yes people maybe there to help but ultimately it is your responsibility to speak up - say no loud and firmly. Do not be afraid of making a fuss or being seen as a party pooper.Make it very clear that no means no. Report to management if they dont listen . Its MY body I get to say if anybody can touch. I know rape is a totally different situation to unwanted attention but it is all about boundaries and consent. Hope the woman gets some closure after her ordeal.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me.

Im not at all surprised that a woman got raped at a swingers club."

What?! Just because she chooses to go to a swingers club, why should it not be a surprise?

I can imagine there's a similar attitude to rape if the woman had been drinking or had been walking alone at night. Those attitudes are WRONG. Why do we blame the victim? We should be blaming the rapist. It's rape because of HIS actions, not hers.

crystal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As a club goer I've been following this story in the press with interest. I think the one thing its highlighted for me is that if you get unwanted attention in a club you have to speak up. You have to be strong to be a single female clubber. Yes people maybe there to help but ultimately it is your responsibility to speak up - say no loud and firmly. Do not be afraid of making a fuss or being seen as a party pooper.Make it very clear that no means no. Report to management if they dont listen . Its MY body I get to say if anybody can touch. I know rape is a totally different situation to unwanted attention but it is all about boundaries and consent. Hope the woman gets some closure after her ordeal."

But you shouldn't feel like a party pooper and if anyone is making you feel like a party pooper, tell the management because it sounds like someone's trying to push you into doing something you don't want to do even if they haven't actually touched without consent.

crystal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted.

In the clubs I've been to, "men like that" would be out the door in 5 minutes flat, possibly without their bollocks depending on who they'd been pushy with."

And this guy was not a member he was the stage act who had not been before, new nothing of the rules and had taken viagra before leaving home......I believe the word expectation plays a part here!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted."

Do you attend cubs often that you come out with a statement like that?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"no idea what happened ...i observed ...and the everyone backed the woman .."

I'm not sure I understand this comment but it kinda bothers me....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me.

Im not at all surprised that a woman got raped at a swingers club.

What?! Just because she chooses to go to a swingers club, why should it not be a surprise?

crystal"

Remember the Nigela Lawson thread?....Nuff said.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me.

Im not at all surprised that a woman got raped at a swingers club."

Swingers clubs are not rape-clubs, or non-consensual sex clubs. Why would she be more likely to get raped at a swinger club? Because women who go to swinger clubs should expect all they get?

That's a poor attitude to have. Its not up to women to watch what they do and where they are, its up to men to actually NOT RAPE!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

crystal"

Oh Crystal I don't feel like a party pooper but im sure inexperienced women would. Im very much a touch me again and you are carrying your balls home in an asda carrier bag type of girl.(may occasionally change to a Waitrose bag if I'm feeling posh but I do get my point across)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do you have a link to the original piece you read please? Interested in details.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me. "

Me too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do you have a link to the original piece you read please? Interested in details."

Just copy paste and Google the thread title it's what I did

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By *empting Devil.Woman over a year ago

Sheffield

"Do you have a link to the original piece you read please? Interested in details."

Search Sheffield star rape La Chambre

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By *aturasqCouple over a year ago

Hertfordshire

"Would think others in club would notice..Unfortunately I'm not aware of the club and layout"

And your point is ?

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS over a year ago

Epsom

He may get his cumuppence in jail. "

Sort of

"hi cell mate, what's your name? "

"Bendover! "

Gulps "Hi Ben"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted."

Sorry in all my years I have found that at clubs everyone looks out for each other... You don't understand clubs if you think it's somewhere that would accept men like that. As men like that tend to get removed very quickly as they are the ones that will touch or just be pushy and people won't put up with it.

I prefer to meet at clubs because its safer than meeting at other places

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By *aturasqCouple over a year ago

Hertfordshire

Total admiration for the lady for coming forward - very brave x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted.

Do you attend cubs often that you come out with a statement like that? "

No not been to a club but have met a lot of men in my time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted.

Do you attend cubs often that you come out with a statement like that?

No not been to a club but have met a lot of men in my time."

So your argument about clubs is invalid.

If the men you meet are like that then your selection criteria needs addressing...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

no means no, who ever you are and where ever you are .....being in a club is no different

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I prefer to meet at clubs because its safer than meeting at other places "

People who don't go to clubs seem to think the atmosphere is bordering on dangerous. Now I have read the bare bones of the story but don't know exactly what happened, but in my experience clubs are the safest place to meet people. Much better than going to a strangers house or meeting them in a strange hotel.

Bad people do bad things. Blaming the club, the lifestyle, or the woman is missing the point - its the bloke who did it, and he's been convicted of it too!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Pushy men or disrespectful ones tend to get removed from clubs and your safer meeting a guy at a club than say a hotel or house etc

Can't understand quite why no one interfered as I have had people bang on the Door to ask if I was okay just because things were a little heated and must have sounded rough from outside the door xx

People tend to look out for others at most clubs x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

crystal

this is why im happy in the fet scence

Absolutely - that goes for deciding to spill their ejaculate all over you right through to fucking. Consent is what makes swinging work.

crystal"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Pushy men or disrespectful ones tend to get removed from clubs and your safer meeting a guy at a club than say a hotel or house etc

Can't understand quite why no one interfered as I have had people bang on the Door to ask if I was okay just because things were a little heated and must have sounded rough from outside the door xx

People tend to look out for others at most clubs x "

That's good to know.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted.

Do you attend cubs often that you come out with a statement like that?

No not been to a club but have met a lot of men in my time.

So your argument about clubs is invalid.

If the men you meet are like that then your selection criteria needs addressing..."

Clubs don't want men that are pushy. They are bad for business and good clubs deal with it all swiftly and professionally.

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

When I said that comments on the thread made me more certain clubs are not for me, I meant exactly that. I was not commenting on the rape issue, just the real experiences of club - goers. I must stress that this was by no means any kind of judgement on club goers in general merely that I could not be comfortable there due to the behaviour of some - albeit rather few.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"When I said that comments on the thread made me more certain clubs are not for me, I meant exactly that. I was not commenting on the rape issue, just the real experiences of club - goers. I must stress that this was by no means any kind of judgement on club goers in general merely that I could not be comfortable there due to the behaviour of some - albeit rather few. "

That's fine. Clubs are not for everyone. Some behaviour even pisses me off, and I love clubs.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Pushy men or disrespectful ones tend to get removed from clubs and your safer meeting a guy at a club than say a hotel or house etc

Can't understand quite why no one interfered as I have had people bang on the Door to ask if I was okay just because things were a little heated and must have sounded rough from outside the door xx

People tend to look out for others at most clubs x "

Not everyone shouts and screams when they're being raped. Some people freeze with fear, lose their voice and their body just shuts down.

crystal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

as a general rule of the forums didnt think rape was allowed to be talked about?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"as a general rule of the forums didnt think rape was allowed to be talked about? "

with it in the press and it being in a club its gonna get mentioned on here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"as a general rule of the forums didnt think rape was allowed to be talked about? "

I'd have thought this would be allowed to run as it technically affects many of the site users and possibly serves as a deterrent to the less savoury people who may be viewing the thread.

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

Blimey, it's been a long time since I went to a club but when I do, as a single woman, I struggle to get the attention I want, let alone the unwanted kind.

I must be scary or fecking ugly!

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By *qua vitaeWoman over a year ago

Shropshire/Midlands

I was out once at a nice little pub in a nice area with 2 other friends and we all spoke to this bloke. Afterwards, he started eyeing me off from a distance and then as he walked past me, touched the side of my breast. I chose to ignore him and nothing else happen, but I wished I had complained to the bouncers and had him chucked out.

There's no excuse to touch anyone, whether male or female unless invited!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Db9 I perhaps go to clubs more than many... there have been incidents I can count on one hand, where I have felt uncomfortable.. that's in over 14 years of going to clubs... And bare in mind I go sometimes twice a week of not more...

Now put that with the fact I go out down town not once a year for a night out yet can tell you many occasions that I have had men make me feel uncomfortable... Shows that on the whole men in swinging clubs are better behaved for the most than men who have been out on the town...

Clubs aren't for everyone but the behaviour from most is exemplary... Yes you get the odd Muppet but you get them in all walks of life... The big difference for me is that others will step in... And it's classes as totally unacceptable

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Been to. Fair few clubs in our time some nice ones some seedy ones, however we have not been or approached by anyone without our say so, but we do understand that clubs are not for everyone, but we would have thought that would be a comment by someone that's has at least tried a club

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted.

Do you attend cubs often that you come out with a statement like that?

No not been to a club but have met a lot of men in my time.

So your argument about clubs is invalid.

If the men you meet are like that then your selection criteria needs addressing..."

exactly! If you've never been how on earth can you make the comment that a 'swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that'???

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Pushy men or disrespectful ones tend to get removed from clubs and your safer meeting a guy at a club than say a hotel or house etc

Can't understand quite why no one interfered as I have had people bang on the Door to ask if I was okay just because things were a little heated and must have sounded rough from outside the door xx

People tend to look out for others at most clubs x

Not everyone shouts and screams when they're being raped. Some people freeze with fear, lose their voice and their body just shuts down.

crystal"

I know that... But if that happens you won't get help wherever but if you walk out of a club room looking shell shocked someone would notice x I think because I go to other types of events and my job I tend to look at how people are and sometimes just ask then if they are okay.

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By *extoysareusCouple over a year ago

kinky heaven

Does seem some people are still using the excuse for women going to swingers clubs as gagging for it, and as for dressing up in sexy clothes as wanting it.

No still means no, wherever you are, and whatever you're wearing or not.

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

It's just a shame the judge hasn't taken it that seriously.

Released on bail to get his affairs in order pre-sentencing!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's just a shame the judge hasn't taken it that seriously.

Released on bail to get his affairs in order pre-sentencing!"

I was disgusted at that too. Why should he be allowed time to get his affairs in order?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Pushy men or disrespectful ones tend to get removed from clubs and your safer meeting a guy at a club than say a hotel or house etc

Can't understand quite why no one interfered as I have had people bang on the Door to ask if I was okay just because things were a little heated and must have sounded rough from outside the door xx

People tend to look out for others at most clubs x

Not everyone shouts and screams when they're being raped. Some people freeze with fear, lose their voice and their body just shuts down.

crystal

I've seen people walking out of a room looking like they've been dragged backwards through a hedge but I wouldn't ask them if they were ok, I would assume that they had been having fun.

If I'm concerned about someone, I wouldn't ask them myself. I would inform management. I would never disturb a scene or play. I wouldn't even walk up to a woman and ask her if she was ok if it appeared she was being harassed. I would always let a DM, security, bouncer, staff member, etc know. I would also make a couple of people I was with aware of my concerns so there are more eyes watching. If you ask someone if they're ok and the person they're being harassed by is near, they may say they're fine for fear of upsetting that person.

DB9 - I am always taken seriously by staff at clubs and events when I have been made to feel uncomfortable, even if nothing has happened, I feel like I'm being looked out for whereas in pubs and nightclubs, I feel like my complaint has been shrugged off and in one incident been made to feel like it was my fault for dancing where I was dancing. It's not the location that's the problem, it's the people and I think club staff have a much better understanding of these incidents because there's less victim blaming which is common in society.

There's a poster which I saw on facebook that said one in three rapes happen when the woman has been drinking. I think it was a police poster. What made me so angry with that is that it suggests the woman shouldn't drink. WRONG. Just because a woman drinks, it does not give men more of a right to sexually assault her.

crystal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Does seem some people are still using the excuse for women going to swingers clubs as gagging for it, and as for dressing up in sexy clothes as wanting it.

No still means no, wherever you are, and whatever you're wearing or not."

Exactly

So does that mean the same goes for woman who are in the town on a night out dresses up to the hilt in low tops and short skirts are gagging for it as well, some ppl come out with strangest remarks

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I think swinger's clubs are safer environments than many others. At good clubs there is a sense of community.

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By *nnyMan over a year ago

Glasgow

"It's just a shame the judge hasn't taken it that seriously.

Released on bail to get his affairs in order pre-sentencing!

I was disgusted at that too. Why should he be allowed time to get his affairs in order?

It's not that uncommon. Lots of people are released between conviction and sentencing - provided they're not thought to be a flight risk.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me.

Im not at all surprised that a woman got raped at a swingers club.So because a woman goes to go to a swingers club, she is up for anything and asks to be raped?

Her"

She didn't say that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted.

Do you attend cubs often that you come out with a statement like that? "

Her comments are aimed at that kind of men, not aimed at all men and not aimed at clubs.

I think she makes a fair point. It's the guy's fault- and his perception of what swingers clubs are. And some people on this thread have admitted they have the same perception of clubs.

Of course men like that exist. To say that ALL men (and women) that go to clubs are respectful ... is rubbish.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me.

Im not at all surprised that a woman got raped at a swingers club.So because a woman goes to go to a swingers club, she is up for anything and asks to be raped?

Her

She didn't say that."
No she didn't, my comment based on I'm not surprised a woman got raped, Why because she has asked for it going there? Maybe a bit tipsy, next to nothing on.

Nothing warrants Rape, and that was my meaning.

Her

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By *extoysareusCouple over a year ago

kinky heaven

There was an incident at a club where a man had come over this womans face.

She was in tears, she had told him not to come there.

what is that?? Thoughts?

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By *empting Devil.Woman over a year ago

Sheffield

"Would think others in club would notice..Unfortunately I'm not aware of the club and layout

And your point is ? "

The reports in the paper are misleading by calling the room where it happened a smoking room. It is not - smoking is not allowed inside the building only out on the patio.

This reference to the smoking room confused me when I was originally trying to work out the details from the newspaper reports. It occurred in the mirrored room, which is a bit of an oddity in that many people don't seem to realise that it's there. There is no window into it (all the other 'open' rooms have internal windows so people can watch) and the door is easy to miss.

So she went into an 'open' room with him possibly not realising that it is not as open as the rest.

I have played in that room on very busy nights and no-one has even realised that we were in there till we left it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There was an incident at a club where a man had come over this womans face.

She was in tears, she had told him not to come there.

what is that?? Thoughts?"

Sexual assault. He did something sexual without her consent.

crystal

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

OK I know this subject isn't meant to be on here but at the moment I am using my discretion as it is relevant to the site we are on ( of course Admin might well over rule me ) but please, don't mention experiences that you may have had of assault or rape as it will have to be shut.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me.

Im not at all surprised that a woman got raped at a swingers club."

Really?!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted.

Do you attend cubs often that you come out with a statement like that?

Her comments are aimed at that kind of men, not aimed at all men and not aimed at clubs.

I think she makes a fair point. It's the guy's fault- and his perception of what swingers clubs are. And some people on this thread have admitted they have the same perception of clubs.

Of course men like that exist. To say that ALL men (and women) that go to clubs are respectful ... is rubbish. "

Sorry but the comment made was 'swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that'!!

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By *it of fun cplCouple over a year ago

village between York and Hull

Terrible that it happend, great that it has been delt with. We have been to many clubs and never really had any real issues, the odd touch when passing in a corridor is the worst we have had with men. Females on the other hand have had to be told once or twice. Clubs are very safe and if anything at all untoward happens you really should report it.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted.

Do you attend cubs often that you come out with a statement like that?

No not been to a club but have met a lot of men in my time."

The same could be said for inviting strangers into your home for sex: you have given them an expectation of sex so if you change your mind because they want rough etc. then more fool you.

That's not it at all. This all operates on mutual consent, wherever the sex takes place. No is no whatever the setting whether it is a woman or a man being the aggressor or the abused.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Blimey, it's been a long time since I went to a club but when I do, as a single woman, I struggle to get the attention I want, let alone the unwanted kind.

I must be scary or fecking ugly!"

I was talking to my ex last night about the fact that I get attention if I am with a man but virtually none if I am on my own. He has his uses.

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By *ratty_DamselWoman over a year ago

Greater London

Good news that a rape conviction has actually been achieved!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me.

Such a shame because I've only had very positive experiences! In fact, I'd like someone/a couple to have been a bit more proactive to counteract our nervousness!!

Nothing posted on here has made me change my mind. The reverse if anything else. Guess I'm simply not suited to the club experience. "

I agree, definitely not for me..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm shocked that women can be just as bad! I know this happens sometimes with some women groping men, thinking it's ok to touch without asking.

Never really heard about women touching women without asking until I read this thread.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

crystal

this....

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By *cottybhoyMan over a year ago

falkirk

I have read this thread with interest.

It has been enlightening to learn from the views and experiences of others - some who are regular attendees at clubs and others not so.

Firstly, I am delighted that an offender was prosecuted and convicted for a horrible offence. I hope the victim has access to the support available to her and she is able to once again enjoy life.

No absolutely means no and there is no excuse for touching, ejaculating over or having sex with a woman without her consent - no matter what she is (or isn't wearing) or if she has been drinking.

I am disappointed this happened in a club without anyone seeing the incident or intervening.

Some of the comments made have, however, made me think that clubs need to have very clear guidance as to what is and is not acceptable. And rules need to be enforced.

When couples or groups choose to play alone my understanding was the door is closed. Others don't enter and those in the room behave as consensual adults.

In my experience, open rooms are there for others to go into and meet and play when asked. Sometimes couples or groups are already playing. For a guy I find it arousing to watch and I didn't know there was anything wrong with this. If they don't want to be watched why perform in public?

I have seen lots of guys in towels masturbate while watching and being invited to join (even me).

I have had ladies come and offer to play with me there and elsewhere as a consequence of me being in the room semi-naked and aroused.

I am not suggesting that touching or cumming over someone without consent is in any way acceptable. It is unlawful.

But, I am now wondering given the views of some ladies and couples about guys watching and wanking if single guys are expected to remain fully dressed until invited into a particular room for a particular purpose?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted.

Do you attend cubs often that you come out with a statement like that?

No not been to a club but have met a lot of men in my time.

The same could be said for inviting strangers into your home for sex: you have given them an expectation of sex so if you change your mind because they want rough etc. then more fool you.

That's not it at all. This all operates on mutual consent, wherever the sex takes place. No is no whatever the setting whether it is a woman or a man being the aggressor or the abused.

Oh well more fool me I deserve all I get. I know what swingers clubs are supposed to be like but I think maybe people are being slightly nieve to think that you don't get some dodgy people going to them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All of these comments make me more certain that clubs are not for me.

Im not at all surprised that a woman got raped at a swingers club.

What?! Just because she chooses to go to a swingers club, why should it not be a surprise?

crystal"

Absolutely

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By *octor DeleriumMan over a year ago

Wellingborough

I'm just waiting for the Red Top backlash about all those swingers who are 'just asking for it'

Reporting facts tends not to sell newspapers.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted.

Do you attend cubs often that you come out with a statement like that?

No not been to a club but have met a lot of men in my time.

The same could be said for inviting strangers into your home for sex: you have given them an expectation of sex so if you change your mind because they want rough etc. then more fool you.

That's not it at all. This all operates on mutual consent, wherever the sex takes place. No is no whatever the setting whether it is a woman or a man being the aggressor or the abused.

How can you know what they are like if you have never been ??

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

How can you know what they are like if you have never been ??

I am guessing she has read some of the horror stories that have been on the forum many a time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How can you know what they are like if you have never been ??

I am guessing she has read some of the horror stories that have been on the forum many a time."

Fair point but thats subjective and not a true representation surely ??

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

How can you know what they are like if you have never been ??

I am guessing she has read some of the horror stories that have been on the forum many a time.

Fair point but thats subjective and not a true representation surely ??"

So is people telling anyone that it doesn't happen at all.

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

"It's just a shame the judge hasn't taken it that seriously.

Released on bail to get his affairs in order pre-sentencing!

I was disgusted at that too. Why should he be allowed time to get his affairs in order?

It's not that uncommon. Lots of people are released between conviction and sentencing - provided they're not thought to be a flight risk."

I know it's quite common for lesser offences, but rape? I just think it sends out the wrong message.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted.

Do you attend cubs often that you come out with a statement like that?

No not been to a club but have met a lot of men in my time.

The same could be said for inviting strangers into your home for sex: you have given them an expectation of sex so if you change your mind because they want rough etc. then more fool you.

That's not it at all. This all operates on mutual consent, wherever the sex takes place. No is no whatever the setting whether it is a woman or a man being the aggressor or the abused.

How can you know what they are like if you have never been ??

I don't know what they are like but im sure they are lovely places with lovely people but you are bound to get some who aren't so nice and lovely. I heard about a woman who got raped at a dogging spot near where we live.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted.

Do you attend cubs often that you come out with a statement like that?

No not been to a club but have met a lot of men in my time.

The same could be said for inviting strangers into your home for sex: you have given them an expectation of sex so if you change your mind because they want rough etc. then more fool you.

That's not it at all. This all operates on mutual consent, wherever the sex takes place. No is no whatever the setting whether it is a woman or a man being the aggressor or the abused.

Of course there are but they also turn up in our homes. Most rapes also happen in a totally domestic setting by people known to each other.

My point is that you can't make a generalisation that clubs would be worse than your home setting. We are engaged in something risky on all sorts of levels so we do what we can to mitigate that risk. I choose to go to clubs as my riskiest, scariest situation happened when I used to meet at home.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He may get his cumuppence in jail. "

Prison pussy I think it's called.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted.

Do you attend cubs often that you come out with a statement like that?

No not been to a club but have met a lot of men in my time.

The same could be said for inviting strangers into your home for sex: you have given them an expectation of sex so if you change your mind because they want rough etc. then more fool you.

That's not it at all. This all operates on mutual consent, wherever the sex takes place. No is no whatever the setting whether it is a woman or a man being the aggressor or the abused.

Of course there are but they also turn up in our homes. Most rapes also happen in a totally domestic setting by people known to each other.

I know all that and I didn't say that it was safer to meet someone in your home either.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

My point is that you can't make a generalisation that clubs would be worse than your home setting. ."

To be fair she didn't say that.

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By *bi HaiveMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted.

Do you attend cubs often that you come out with a statement like that?

No not been to a club but have met a lot of men in my time.

The same could be said for inviting strangers into your home for sex: you have given them an expectation of sex so if you change your mind because they want rough etc. then more fool you.

That's not it at all. This all operates on mutual consent, wherever the sex takes place. No is no whatever the setting whether it is a woman or a man being the aggressor or the abused.

Swinging clubs have others in attendance, often require membership and ID from clientele (yes, not always I know) and have staff on site for assistance if required.

Are you honestly saying that clubs are riskier than inviting a total stranger into your home (I recall a post once where it wasn't even the guy that had been invited that turned up!) where you are meeting alone, with no ID checks and nobody around should you need help?

Even hotels have other guests and staffing site!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He may get his cumuppence in jail.

Prison pussy I think it's called. "

regardless of what its called i dont think violence or sexual revenge on the man is justice

an eye for an eye and the whole world would be blind

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He may get his cumuppence in jail.

Prison pussy I think it's called.

regardless of what its called i dont think violence or sexual revenge on the man is justice

an eye for an eye and the whole world would be blind"

+1 this and good quote

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He may get his cumuppence in jail.

Prison pussy I think it's called.

regardless of what its called i dont think violence or sexual revenge on the man is justice

an eye for an eye and the whole world would be blind"

to be fair i doubt he would get any stick in prison anyway, he will be houses with other sex offenders very few of which will see raping a woman in a sex club as that bad

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted.

Do you attend cubs often that you come out with a statement like that?

No not been to a club but have met a lot of men in my time.

The same could be said for inviting strangers into your home for sex: you have given them an expectation of sex so if you change your mind because they want rough etc. then more fool you.

That's not it at all. This all operates on mutual consent, wherever the sex takes place. No is no whatever the setting whether it is a woman or a man being the aggressor or the abused.

Swinging clubs have others in attendance, often require membership and ID from clientele (yes, not always I know) and have staff on site for assistance if required.

Even hotels have other guests and staffing site!

Maybe you should read all of the other threads before you post.

anyway thanks for the interesting information about swingers clubs.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Rape is almost as bad as murder in my eyes the fact that someone has to live with that for the rest of their life is vile I feel for any victims of rape I really do!

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By *bi HaiveMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted.

Do you attend cubs often that you come out with a statement like that?

No not been to a club but have met a lot of men in my time.

The same could be said for inviting strangers into your home for sex: you have given them an expectation of sex so if you change your mind because they want rough etc. then more fool you.

That's not it at all. This all operates on mutual consent, wherever the sex takes place. No is no whatever the setting whether it is a woman or a man being the aggressor or the abused.

Swinging clubs have others in attendance, often require membership and ID from clientele (yes, not always I know) and have staff on site for assistance if required.

Even hotels have other guests and staffing site!

Maybe you should read all of the other threads before you post.

anyway thanks for the interesting information about swingers clubs.

Which other threads should I be reading?

I fail to see how at a club you're more likely to encounter someone 'dodgy' as you put it than at home - or anywhere else ?

The point being at a club or hotel should your meet be 'dodgy' there are others present to provide assistance and if necessary remove that person.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"some men havnt got much self control a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that.

sometimes they get over excited and get rough and pushy they think because there are women who like it like that that everyone else does.

mostly a man like that wouldn't care what the woman liked though as long as he was getting what he wanted.

Do you attend cubs often that you come out with a statement like that?

No not been to a club but have met a lot of men in my time.

The same could be said for inviting strangers into your home for sex: you have given them an expectation of sex so if you change your mind because they want rough etc. then more fool you.

That's not it at all. This all operates on mutual consent, wherever the sex takes place. No is no whatever the setting whether it is a woman or a man being the aggressor or the abused.

Swinging clubs have others in attendance, often require membership and ID from clientele (yes, not always I know) and have staff on site for assistance if required.

Even hotels have other guests and staffing site!

Maybe you should read all of the other threads before you post.

anyway thanks for the interesting information about swingers clubs.

Which other threads should I be reading?

I fail to see how at a club you're more likely to encounter someone 'dodgy' as you put it than at home - or anywhere else ?

The point being at a club or hotel should your meet be 'dodgy' there are others present to provide assistance and if necessary remove that person.

try reading all the other threads, more slowly. I didn't say it was safer to meet men in your home or anywhere else.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" try reading all the other threads, more slowly. I didn't say it was safer to meet men in your home or anywhere else."

No, but what you did say was 'a swingers club is the sort of place that would attract men like that' and by your own admission of never having been to one I can't understand how you could make such a sweeping statement.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Swinging clubs have others in attendance, often require membership and ID from clientele (yes, not always I know) and have staff on site for assistance if required.

Which other threads should I be reading?

I fail to see how at a club you're more likely to encounter someone 'dodgy' as you put it than at home - or anywhere else ?

The point being at a club or hotel should your meet be 'dodgy' there are others present to provide assistance and if necessary remove that person.

I read a post not long ago saying they give false details to a club ( I thought people have to show ID so I am not sure how it can be done ) but the point is, people do do it so having another persons details on their books won't help if the club has to trace anyone for the police.

In this case it seems it wasn't safe for the woman in a swinging club and the staff couldn't help.

Also, the poster you quoted I don't think said it was safer at home, just what she thought of a club situation

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have read this thread with interest.