FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > cheating sex
cheating sex
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Depends ..all relationships arent the same i cheat for many reasons and cant tell him for many reasons
Bt i kno its wrong and nuffin to b proud of too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am but it's all down to circumstances don't judge people they have there reasons 
There isn't a valid reason to cheat  "
Perhaps he's being cheated on himself... tit for tat is not very high minded... but it is a valid reason  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am but it's all down to circumstances don't judge people they have there reasons
There isn't a valid reason to cheat
Perhaps he's being cheated on himself... tit for tat is not very high minded... but it is a valid reason "
Lol can't see how that's a valid reason think it's more a valid reason to end the relationship  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My partner isnt cheatin and he really nva wud! Not wantin to go into detail bt i cheat and i like sex im not gettin it at home so i go elsewhere"
Well I'm sure your partner also thinks u wouldn't cheat so who knows could be doing the dirty too maybe that's why u ain't getting it at home  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My partner isnt cheatin and he really nva wud! Not wantin to go into detail bt i cheat and i like sex im not gettin it at home so i go elsewhere"
well there goes that "valid reason" then lol  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Nar trust me he aint cheatin! Neways mayb this topic is like marmite ur eigha gonna get it or ur not gonna agree! I cn live wiv myself and happily carry on was jst wonderin if i was alone in that on here |
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"So many moral people here , must never of cheated ever, shit perfume ."
I never do understand why people use the term moral as an insult as if its something to be ashamed of.
Stick to your own personal code of morals and don't slate other people for theirs. |
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"Nar trust me he aint cheatin! Neways mayb this topic is like marmite ur eigha gonna get it or ur not gonna agree! I cn live wiv myself and happily carry on was jst wonderin if i was alone in that on here"
No you aren't, there are lots of people who for one reason or another feel unable to be truthful with the people who love them or don't as the case may be. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So many moral people here , must never of cheated ever, shit perfume .
I never do understand why people use the term moral as an insult as if its something to be ashamed of.
Stick to your own personal code of morals and don't slate other people for theirs. "
Each to there own in life i say...dny judge unless ur happy to b judged for ur fuked up vices! And we all have thm! Mine is i like sex wiv otha men behind my bf back...tht my life and decision no1esles |
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"So many moral people here , must never of cheated ever, shit perfume .
I never do understand why people use the term moral as an insult as if its something to be ashamed of.
Stick to your own personal code of morals and don't slate other people for theirs.
Each to there own in life i say...dny judge unless ur happy to b judged for ur fuked up vices! And we all have thm! Mine is i like sex wiv otha men behind my bf back...tht my life and decision no1esles"
Yes that's what I'm saying too, but you seem to be the one judging those whose moral code is different to yours. That's all. I honestly don't care what you do and try never to judge anyone but we are judged all the time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Nar im not m8 if i was type to stay faithful thn i wud bt i aint so i dont
Im jst askin if im alone in cheatin tht is all
No judgin, u do what u wna in life , u the 1 livin it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So many moral people here , must never of cheated ever, shit perfume .
I never do understand why people use the term moral as an insult as if its something to be ashamed of.
Stick to your own personal code of morals and don't slate other people for theirs.
Each to there own in life i say...dny judge unless ur happy to b judged for ur fuked up vices! And we all have thm! Mine is i like sex wiv otha men behind my bf back...tht my life and decision no1esles"
If you don't wana be judged don't put it in a forum lol not always gona hear what you want which is clearly 'yeah good on ya mate' karma is a bitch  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Millions cheat millions don't it is just the way it is in life we are all on here for our own reasons "
Yes and thousand do it without feeling the need to broadcast it on an open Forum! |
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"Nar trust me he aint cheatin! Neways mayb this topic is like marmite ur eigha gonna get it or ur not gonna agree! I cn live wiv myself and happily carry on was jst wonderin if i was alone in that on here"
once again but this time in English!! Sounds like you are 15 years old. |
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"I thought that's the point of a open forum to discus things other wise what's the point in a forum "
I'm with Legs on this one. People cheat we all know that but isn't it enough to be doing it without advertising it, justifying it and thereby further disrespecting your partner? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Werent braggin...more lookin for sum1 to chst too again it aint always as simple as i cheat and thts tht, there r personal things attched and mayb a friendly cht wuda been nice...anyways i jst wna forget it now thnks so please leave it |
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"Werent braggin...more lookin for sum1 to chst too again it aint always as simple as i cheat and thts tht, there r personal things attched and mayb a friendly cht wuda been nice...anyways i jst wna forget it now thnks so please leave it"
The problem is once Pandoras box has been opened its difficult to put the lid back on. You might get a private message or two from this though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am but it's all down to circumstances don't judge people they have there reasons
There isn't a valid reason to cheat "
I'd beg to differ... But no.. I'm not currently cheating but I'd bet many of the guys I meet at clubs are and some couples x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I would like to find a cheating housewife to fuck in her marital bed as her hubby is out working or watching the fotbal in the pub on a Saturday lol  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am but it's all down to circumstances don't judge people they have there reasons
There isn't a valid reason to cheat
I'd beg to differ... But no.. I'm not currently cheating but I'd bet many of the guys I meet at clubs are and some couples x"
So what would be a valid reason? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am and it's my choice, others can think what they want but it's solely my decision x"
Me too. the men I've met know I'm married and I've asked them if it's a problem and they say it's not |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"So many moral people here , must never of cheated ever, shit perfume ."
You must live a very sad life if you think that cheating is the norm and everyone does it, or has done it.
Having morals is a good thing, not an insult. 
Cheating is not anything to brag about. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"No one is barging about it it's just a discussion "
The OP doesn't have a sense of being proud of cheating in your _iew?
I'd think he'd be keeping it quiet and getting on with it like most others otherwise. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Prob get shot down for this but isn't swinging some form of cheating "
How do you work that out? Two people playing with each other's knowledgeand agreement vs. one person seeing other people without the knowledge and agreement of their partner.
Same thing? I don't think so. |
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By *LCoupleCouple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"Prob get shot down for this but isn't swinging some form of cheating
That's what a lot of people say too but how can something your partner knows about be deceptive in any way?"
Exactly this. Its only cheating if its done without knowledge or permission of the other partner.
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
What's with all the cheating posts, and those trying to justify it lately anyway?
If you cheat, just get on with it. Tell potential meets so they can make an informed decision whether to meet. No need to shout about it. And it can't be justified, understood maybe, but not justified, so don't even bother. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Yeah I get that part but you are still having sex with others is that not cheating in a marriage "
No. The cheating part is doing it behind your partners back.
Dear goodness, the lengths that some will go to in order to try to justify cheating...  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Not saying it's is the same thing "
Good because one is a violation of trust and is dishonest. The other isn't.
One may hurt the party is being cheated on, and the family, and possibly the person being cheated with too. One won't. |
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"Not saying it's is the same thing "
You as near as damn it did.
We get it, sometimes people aren't getting enough sex, any sex, the kind of sex they crave or they just want sex with different people and their partner can't fulfil the need so they go elsewhere, it isn't ideal and we choose not to get knowingly involved BUT when I don't have enough money, I don't go and steal it. |
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"I'm not justifying why I cheat I was only asking a question get off that high horse "
That's another phrase that turns up in these arguments quite a lot too.
By the way did you know that if you click on reply and quote we will be able to see who you're responding to. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I'm not justifying why I cheat I was only asking a question get off that high horse "
Of course you're trying to justify it, which is why you're trying to suggest that married people who swing are doing the same thing.
Swinging, real swinging, is about as far from cheating as it's possible to get. It's about total trust and honesty. |
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"I'm not justifying why I cheat I was only asking a question get off that high horse
Of course you're trying to justify it, which is why you're trying to suggest that married people who swing are doing the same thing.
Swinging, real swinging, is about as far from cheating as it's possible to get. It's about total trust and honesty."
On horseback |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I'm not justifying why I cheat I was only asking a question get off that high horse
Of course you're trying to justify it, which is why you're trying to suggest that married people who swing are doing the same thing.
Swinging, real swinging, is about as far from cheating as it's possible to get. It's about total trust and honesty.
On horseback "
Or a donkey in Ryan's case |
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i got into swinging long before sites like this were invented ,we did it to enhance our lives as we had boring jobs in those days ,so we met couples from contact magazines where you wrote letters to folk yes wrote to people known of this time wasting fake profiles ,we went for drink went for meals with couples ,went to clubs ,this continued for many a year with breaks when i lost members of my family and it stopped when my husband fell for a lady ,he cheated on me with her but was at no point in a sexless marriage so i will never justify cheating as the fall out has damn near killed me as it happened so unexpectedly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's with all the cheating posts, and those trying to justify it lately anyway?
If you cheat, just get on with it. Tell potential meets so they can make an informed decision whether to meet. No need to shout about it. And it can't be justified, understood maybe, but not justified, so don't even bother."
I tell my potential meets just in case they missed reading it in my profile
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Both swingers?...yes, then why play like that? I'd rather be told and let them play than to be lied too, and find out later..why ruin the fun? Hate lie's.. Hate cheaters.. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"My profile is man with fem friend not my wife mmmm hating people you don't even know or there circumstances very narrow minded "
I can't say I particularly care about the circumstances. I don't want the complications of meeting cheaters.
There are practical considerations as well as moral ones.
There's nothing narrow-minded about believing lying and deceit is wrong. It is. |
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"My profile is man with fem friend not my wife mmmm hating people you don't even know or there circumstances very narrow minded
I can't say I particularly care about the circumstances. I don't want the complications of meeting cheaters.
There are practical considerations as well as moral ones.
There's nothing narrow-minded about believing lying and deceit is wrong. It is."
Same here - we wouldn't say we 'hate' cheats we simply don't want to meet them! Z |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok.. I hate the idea of it.. I'd prefer to knw if a partner was wanting to play rather than to be kept in the dark, isn't that the understanding you hav with a partner, to play, not to be lied too? ..I wouldn't stop them playing...but in argument response a partner knowing takes the fun out of it? Nah not interested in cheaters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is lying and deceit over matters of sexual fidelity more important than lying and deceit involving any other matter?
For example:
Man "I admit i have stolen from your mother, told people your father is a child sex abuser, got your brother sacked by telling a pile of lies to his employers but I have never, ever, kissed or touched another woman!"
Woman "I know darling. You are a good man and so faithful. I will love you for ever! "  |
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"Is lying and deceit over matters of sexual fidelity more important than lying and deceit involving any other matter?
For example:
Man "I admit i have stolen from your mother, told people your father is a child sex abuser, got your brother sacked by telling a pile of lies to his employers but I have never, ever, kissed or touched another woman!"
Woman "I know darling. You are a good man and so faithful. I will love you for ever! " "
Not for me. I dislike dishonesty intensely partly as a result of a short marriage to a compulsive liar. It erodes relationships because they are built on shifting sand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is lying and deceit over matters of sexual fidelity more important than lying and deceit involving any other matter?
For example:
Man "I admit i have stolen from your mother, told people your father is a child sex abuser, got your brother sacked by telling a pile of lies to his employers but I have never, ever, kissed or touched another woman!"
Woman "I know darling. You are a good man and so faithful. I will love you for ever! "
Not for me. I dislike dishonesty intensely partly as a result of a short marriage to a compulsive liar. It erodes relationships because they are built on shifting sand."
I dislike dishonesty..no rules no fun. |
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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago
Greensburg |
"What's with all the cheating posts, and those trying to justify it lately anyway?
If you cheat, just get on with it. Tell potential meets so they can make an informed decision whether to meet. No need to shout about it. And it can't be justified, understood maybe, but not justified, so don't even bother."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No I'm not cheating on anyone. My partner is fully aware.
I was cheated on by my last partner, it's a dreadful awful thing have done to you when you find out. It's like suffocating on emotion, clawing for sanity whilst all the while desperately trying not to succumb to pure emotionally fuelled rage.
When you've had someone you love and who was your best friend betray you like that, you'll never want to be the one to do it to someone else unless you're a sociopathic asshat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is nothing better than to cream up a married pussey mmmmm .
Then you have had a very sheltered sex life "
No I haven't, its just one of my fav things |
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"No I'm not cheating on anyone. My partner is fully aware.
I was cheated on by my last partner, it's a dreadful awful thing have done to you when you find out. It's like suffocating on emotion, clawing for sanity whilst all the while desperately trying not to succumb to pure emotionally fuelled rage.
When you've had someone you love and who was your best friend betray you like that, you'll never want to be the one to do it to someone else unless you're a sociopathic asshat."
and that is why some of us on here HATE !!!! cheaters amen !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I get that part but you are still having sex with others is that not cheating in a marriage
No. Cheating means doing something behind another persons back or deliberately deceiving them. "
My thoughts exactly (wife) x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bet the majority of people in couples would cheat if their partners didn't agree to swinging. There is obviously a love of fucking random people for them to do it and if you were in a relationship were your partner forbid you do it the compulsion would grow. Also, every couple I've met the men have approached me and asked for me to meet behind their partners back, needless to say I didn't. I'm not saying all men are like this but even those with the permission to sleep with others still feel the need to cheat! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I get that part but you are still having sex with others is that not cheating in a marriage
No. Cheating means doing something behind another persons back or deliberately deceiving them.
My thoughts exactly (wife) x"
Of course its cheating if you are married, its cheating on your vows which is a legal contract. Its not deceitful, but still cheating. No harm though if both in agreement. Those couples who aren't married in my opinion are not cheating. They are in agreement and have not made legal vows to foresake all others. |
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By *qua vitaeWoman
over a year ago
Shropshire/Midlands |
This subject has been done to death. As long as the 'cheaters' give potential meets an informed decision whether to play with them or not, and until we walk a mile in their shoes, 'let sleeping dogs lie'.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is nothing better than to cream up a married pussey mmmmm .
Then you have had a very sheltered sex life No I haven't, its just one of my fav things "
yawn big time |
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"Yeah I get that part but you are still having sex with others is that not cheating in a marriage
No. Cheating means doing something behind another persons back or deliberately deceiving them.
My thoughts exactly (wife) x
Of course its cheating if you are married, its cheating on your vows which is a legal contract. Its not deceitful, but still cheating. No harm though if both in agreement. Those couples who aren't married in my opinion are not cheating. They are in agreement and have not made legal vows to foresake all others."
We got married on a registry office and contracted to be married we made no vows of monogamy. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"So many moral people here , must never of cheated ever, shit perfume ."
What were your expectations of the answers...
Just a list of people declaring how much they enjoy cheating...
If people just got on with it without the need to declare every married orifice or penis, life would be simpler. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love how on posts like this, some fabbers jump in with the "morality" judgements.
Just because they are doing whatever they do with, or without their partners, doesn't mean you can take the moral high ground. Other people would think having any sort of sexual liasons out of the marital partnership is just immoral.
Remember that before you decide someone is wrong for their sexual tendancies.
I personally have a really good relationship with my g/f, but according to some of the earlier moralist, I should dump her and live forever alone, as my lifestyle choices offend them.
Well, sorry, but no.
If everything was great between you and your o/h but they didn't like going to the cinema with you. No one would say, ohh you have to dump them. Especially if you didn't go to the cinema together often. In fact it would make sense to find a cinema buddy you could go to the pictures with.
I realise that this is an inane comparrision, but I cant see the clamour for dumping someone just because one aspect of your relationship isn't great when the rest of it is.
And before i'm judged. I haven't cheated on my other half, although I think it's a definate prospect.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just also like to add, i'm quite open and clear about the fact that I am in a relationship on my profile.
I'd also like to add, I get contacted all the time from people interested, even though they make a big song and dance about not meeting anyone that is cheating.
Not to mention the ammount of 'straight' guys and couples.
For the record, I wont meet with anyone that contradicts themselves in their profile.
That isn't being judgemental, but first impressions are important, being dishonest before you even start isn't a good idea. |
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"Just also like to add, i'm quite open and clear about the fact that I am in a relationship on my profile.
I'd also like to add, I get contacted all the time from people interested, even though they make a big song and dance about not meeting anyone that is cheating.
Not to mention the ammount of 'straight' guys and couples.
For the record, I wont meet with anyone that contradicts themselves in their profile.
That isn't being judgemental, but first impressions are important, being dishonest before you even start isn't a good idea."
So what's your point? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This subject has been done to death. As long as the 'cheaters' give potential meets an informed decision whether to play with them or not, and until we walk a mile in their shoes, 'let sleeping dogs lie'.
"
Amen to this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met my ex on here and we stopped swinging as we didn't need to anymore. We broke up and I rejoined here. Low and behold I had found out she had met several fellas while we were still seeing each other. To those that say it's not wrong her son now doesn't have the man he knew as dad in his life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met my ex on here and we stopped swinging as we didn't need to anymore. We broke up and I rejoined here. Low and behold I had found out she had met several fellas while we were still seeing each other. To those that say it's not wrong her son now doesn't have the man he knew as dad in his life"
sorry 2 hear m8  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"
That isn't being judgemental, but first impressions are important, being dishonest before you even start isn't a good idea."
And yet, if you go with the possibility of cheating, you'll be being dishonest with your partner, the person who, perhaps, has most right to expect honesty from you.
Do you really think being honest with total strangers makes up for that?
It clearly doesn't matter to you how devastated she'll be if she finds out, so she can't matter that much to you.
I can't believe people are trying to compare sex to going to the cinema now, as an attempt to justify cheating.
If your relationship isn't enough for you and you have to look for more elsewhere, you owe your partner the truth, and the opportunity to be with someone who is honest and committed. Anything else is just selfish.
You're taking what you want from someone who trusts you and pissing that trust up the wall as you look for more elsewhere.
Me, me, me. It's all about what I want, (I don't want to be single, I want what I have, I just want more too...), and sod my partner's feelings. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"So many moral people here , must never of cheated ever, shit perfume .
What were your expectations of the answers...
Just a list of people declaring how much they enjoy cheating...
If people just got on with it without the need to declare every married orifice or penis, life would be simpler."
A-fucking-men |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was just trying to explain it in a simplistic form you would understand.
To come on here - a swinging site - and then be critical of someone elses lifestyle choices just seems a bit hypocritical.
This isn't a dating site, it's a site to meet and have sex, for carnal recreation.
So anyone on here whether a couple or not, is a sexual deviant as far as most of the non swinging population are concerned.
The ones being critial of cheating would be the first to jump to their own defence if questioned about their sex lives - it's no one elses business, it's private, it's not hurting anyone etc. Sound familiar ?
Seems to be a lot of narrow minded and bitter people on here.
If someone gets their rocks off to a topic i'm not into, I just decide it's not for me and look for something that is.
As for the not meeting people that have they wont meet anyone attached, but still contacting people who are. It's like taking the moral high ground, yet secretly not giving a stuff if they get horny. No reason to have it on their profile. |
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"
If your relationship isn't enough for you and you have to look for more elsewhere, you owe your partner the truth, and the opportunity to be with someone who is honest and committed. Anything else is just selfish.
You're taking what you want from someone who trusts you and pissing that trust up the wall as you look for more elsewhere.
."
So, the partner that gets with someone should declare before the start of the relationship.... 'By the way, we will have no sex life. I will be a good partner but I will not even look at you sexually'. Is that not the honest and reasonable thing to do? You should give someone the opportunity before they commit to you that you will have a sexless life together? Why doesn't the person who is 'sexless' walk Way from the relationship? "I'm not in to sex with the person I love so I'm going to be the bigger person and walk away". It's not cut and dry! If anyone started a relationship with the fact they just weren't in to sex then I'm sure they wouldn't have that many opportunities so have they not deceived someone right from the start??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As 'sexually deviant' as you think this site might be, it strikes me that there is a large amount of ethics involved in what most people are doing on here. Most of the couples are on here precisely to avoid cheating i.e. it isn't an option for either of them but they would still like to have some sexual adventures so they've decided to do so hand in hand in a slow, highly communicative, transparent, and ethical way. Many of the singles on here are keen to either meet genuine singles or play with genuine couples. They try to ensure this by getting consent or by feeling out if someone genuinely appears single or not. They have quite strong _iews on monogamy and a fair few of them wouldn't swing if they were in a relationship as they consider 'sharing' their partner to be something they could not do.
Hidden away in this mix are also fantasists who are trying to con people in one way or another... and cheats who are 'hurting somebody'. They exist on this site because it is an open site... but they both cause no end of problems for the normal ethically motivated members; including luring single people only looking to meet other singles and couples looking to enjoy a nice simple threesome into complex webs which they never would have walked into knowingly.
It's bad enough that a swinging site also contains an element of singles looking for love, the exact opposite of what most swingers are looking for... but the presence of con artists and cheats just messes things up even more.
Having said that, so long as we're not personally swinging it doesn't effect us and so we enjoy the color they bring to the site... but the minute we're swinging I can imagine our tolerance will very quickly run out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a site for peaple,couples and groups to meet and have sex ,post pics and tell storys for enjyoyment and fun , not poke fun and degrade others "
Personally it's not about poking fun or degrading others. If a mate told me he was cheating I'd tell him to sort his shit out and quit it. This is absolutely no different. In my opinion anyone who is cheating should sort their shit out and quit it. That's not degrading or poking fun... that's just plain old good advice |
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"Millions cheat millions don't it is just the way it is in life we are all on here for our own reasons
Yes and thousand do it without feeling the need to broadcast it on an open Forum!"
that's why reading the threads is such fun |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"This isn't a dating site, it's a site to meet and have sex, for carnal recreation."
Specifically it's a swinging site. Swinging and cheating are roughly polar opposites.
"The ones being critial of cheating would be the first to jump to their own defence if questioned about their sex lives - it's no one elses business, it's private, it's not hurting anyone etc. Sound familiar?"
Not hurting anyone?
Except the devastated partner, kids, families and friends when the cheater is caught.
I've made no commitment to anyone. Nobody has a right to interfere with my sex life, as long as I don't break the law. People in relationships DO NOT have that freedom because they have chosen to be in a relationship.
There's a strong stink of desperate denial in here. Not hurting anyone...nobody's business but my own... When you're in a relationship, neither of those apply.
And if it's none of anyone's business then get on with it and stop broadcasting it like it's something to be proud of. It's not. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"If your relationship isn't enough for you and you have to look for more elsewhere, you owe your partner the truth, and the opportunity to be with someone who is honest and committed. Anything else is just selfish.
You're taking what you want from someone who trusts you and pissing that trust up the wall as you look for more elsewhere.
.
So, the partner that gets with someone should declare before the start of the relationship.... 'By the way, we will have no sex life. I will be a good partner but I will not even look at you sexually'. Is that not the honest and reasonable thing to do? You should give someone the opportunity before they commit to you that you will have a sexless life together? Why doesn't the person who is 'sexless' walk Way from the relationship? "I'm not in to sex with the person I love so I'm going to be the bigger person and walk away". It's not cut and dry! If anyone started a relationship with the fact they just weren't in to sex then I'm sure they wouldn't have that many opportunities so have they not deceived someone right from the start??? "
The person who doesn't want the sex is well within their rights and is possibly quite happy with the relationship. Why should they walk away? They should leave something they are happy with in case they are making their partner unhappy? Does that honestly seem like a sensible argument to you?
The desperation in the arguments being put to justify cheating is absolutely unreal. There's a lot of self-delusion going on.
Cheating is not right. Understandable sometimes, but still wrong. There is no justification and no ridiculous analogies, (cinema buddy?!), or increasingly tenuous arguments are going to change that.
Accept it's wrong and just do what you're going to do and hope you don't get caught. I can't see any of these analogies or excuses helping the wronged partner to accept it or understand it.
And that, fundamentally, is why it's wrong, because the cheated on partner would think it is, and the cheater is aware of that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex cheated on me and i threw his sorry ass out he begged and begged but i never took him back he had no reason to cheat as he was getting me three times a day so really had no need to look elsewhere people are just greedy that say their in happy marriages or relationships but their partners cant hack it in the bedroom or not getting enough i say get yourself a vibrator and fuck yourself silly lol at least then you know your not cheating  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met my ex on here and we stopped swinging as we didn't need to anymore. We broke up and I rejoined here. Low and behold I had found out she had met several fellas while we were still seeing each other. To those that say it's not wrong her son now doesn't have the man he knew as dad in his lifesorry 2 hear m8 "
When your trying to respark the relationship it's hard to know all your suggestions were turned down cos she was doing them with others. Hasn't put me off but wouldn't with people playing away without permission |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met my ex on here and we stopped swinging as we didn't need to anymore. We broke up and I rejoined here. Low and behold I had found out she had met several fellas while we were still seeing each other. To those that say it's not wrong her son now doesn't have the man he knew as dad in his life"
That is very sad; although many will applaud your decision and hold you blameless for the pain inflicted on a little boy because of his mother's actions.
However, you both had already enjoyed nsa sex with many others on Fab who do it without becoming emotionally involved. You had presumably seen first hand how close, loving and emotionally stable many swinging couples are. You should have been aware from that for many sex is purely a very pleasant bodily function and not a perfect measure of emotional commitment, love and support. You probably knew your ex felt like that.
So why did you enter into a relationship with her which required her to change the way she wished to live? Is it in your heart you belive husbands and wives should be sexually faithful? Is this a warning to men who join Fab expecting it to be Instashag and then fall for a woman who believes in the lifestyle? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nar trust me he aint cheatin! Neways mayb this topic is like marmite ur eigha gonna get it or ur not gonna agree! I cn live wiv myself and happily carry on was jst wonderin if i was alone in that on here"
no mate I'm married and if your not getting it at home you go else where but strange enough I only meet guys lol |
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"I was just trying to explain it in a simplistic form you would understand.
To come on here - a swinging site - and then be critical of someone elses lifestyle choices just seems a bit hypocritical.
This isn't a dating site, it's a site to meet and have sex, for carnal recreation.
So anyone on here whether a couple or not, is a sexual deviant as far as most of the non swinging population are concerned.
The ones being critial of cheating would be the first to jump to their own defence if questioned about their sex lives - it's no one elses business, it's private, it's not hurting anyone etc. Sound familiar ?
Seems to be a lot of narrow minded and bitter people on here.
If someone gets their rocks off to a topic i'm not into, I just decide it's not for me and look for something that is.
As for the not meeting people that have they wont meet anyone attached, but still contacting people who are. It's like taking the moral high ground, yet secretly not giving a stuff if they get horny. No reason to have it on their profile."
As I have said countless times I don't give a damn what you do it's the justification, whining, accusations of people taking the moral high ground and general nobody understands how hard it I'd attitude that pisses me right off. I know other people would disagree with what we do but I don't care and I never explain or justify our sex life to anyone else either its our business and only people who feel they are doing something wrong feel the need to justifytheir actions. |
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"This is a site for peaple,couples and groups to meet and have sex ,post pics and tell storys for enjyoyment and fun , not poke fun and degrade others "
Yep. So why do people poke fun st and degrade their partners by broadcasting the fact that they're going behind their back? |
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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago
Greensburg |
"If your relationship isn't enough for you and you have to look for more elsewhere, you owe your partner the truth, and the opportunity to be with someone who is honest and committed. Anything else is just selfish.
You're taking what you want from someone who trusts you and pissing that trust up the wall as you look for more elsewhere.
.
So, the partner that gets with someone should declare before the start of the relationship.... 'By the way, we will have no sex life. I will be a good partner but I will not even look at you sexually'. Is that not the honest and reasonable thing to do? You should give someone the opportunity before they commit to you that you will have a sexless life together? Why doesn't the person who is 'sexless' walk Way from the relationship? "I'm not in to sex with the person I love so I'm going to be the bigger person and walk away". It's not cut and dry! If anyone started a relationship with the fact they just weren't in to sex then I'm sure they wouldn't have that many opportunities so have they not deceived someone right from the start???
The person who doesn't want the sex is well within their rights and is possibly quite happy with the relationship. Why should they walk away? They should leave something they are happy with in case they are making their partner unhappy? Does that honestly seem like a sensible argument to you?
The desperation in the arguments being put to justify cheating is absolutely unreal. There's a lot of self-delusion going on.
Cheating is not right. Understandable sometimes, but still wrong. There is no justification and no ridiculous analogies, (cinema buddy?!), or increasingly tenuous arguments are going to change that.
Accept it's wrong and just do what you're going to do and hope you don't get caught. I can't see any of these analogies or excuses helping the wronged partner to accept it or understand it.
And that, fundamentally, is why it's wrong, because the cheated on partner would think it is, and the cheater is aware of that."
Virago, your posts on this subject have been spot on amazing. We couldn't agree with you more, and couldn't have worded it better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a site for peaple,couples and groups to meet and have sex ,post pics and tell storys for enjyoyment and fun , not poke fun and degrade others
Yep. So why do people poke fun st and degrade their partners by broadcasting the fact that they're going behind their back?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Out of curiosity, who else on ea beside me is gettin fucked behind there partners back?"
tfuck this still going on, bottom line dont fuckin brag on a forum |
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I gotta laugh At the way the person doing the cheating always tries to justify it as if to convince themselves that they are not harming anyone its wrong ,maybe not to you but I can say with certainty the one your cheating on wont agree with you . But hey what do I know and anyway you'll just carry on until you get found out .but dont come whinning to me when you do  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the ones who brag about cheating on their partners I don't much like, find it rather sad they feel they have to let everyone know that other people actualy fancy them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the ones who brag about cheating on their partners I don't much like, find it rather sad they feel they have to let everyone know that other people actualy fancy them."
Nicely put. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My partner isnt cheatin and he really nva wud! Not wantin to go into detail bt i cheat and i like sex im not gettin it at home so i go elsewhere"
it is not for us to say what is right or wrong, people should not judge the people or their statements. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nar trust me he aint cheatin! Neways mayb this topic is like marmite ur eigha gonna get it or ur not gonna agree! I cn live wiv myself and happily carry on was jst wonderin if i was alone in that on here"
You must always do what is right for you, and people who judge you, can't ever know the type of person you are, they are judging you on words, and not knowledge. You know what they say about a little knowledge - it is a very dangerous thing.
Ignore the comments, be yourself, that is all that anyone can ask of you in life. |
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Tough subject, but 'let he who is without sin cast the first stone' always applies. It doesn't matter if the plate glass window is shattered into a million pieces or just has a small crack in one corner - if it's broke, it's broke.
I wonder how many people who condemn the cheats have actually had sex with one in a swingers club?? In my understanding a lot of the single males in clubs are attached, women too probably. A lot of people may have actually unwittingly done what they vocally condemn.
It's kind of pertinent to me as I always tell married men no, not interested, won't go there, goodbye. But I find I've just spent a week talking to someone who seemed ideal and it turns out he cohabits with a gf. Who knows what the full story is, or the truth.
Oh I hear it when people say 'My god the pain they could cause.....', I really do, though I have never been there myself, I have never cheated or been cheated on (not since the age of 16 anyway!)
But I have been in a marriage where sexual contact ceased, and we slept in separate rooms, and I know all too well the living death that was - so maybe I am a little less quick to condemn someone who might be in the same situation.
I dunno, I guess I feel I live in a glass house and I might try not to throw too many stones whatever my gut reaction is. |
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By *UNCHBOXMan
over a year ago
folkestone |
If someone is going to cheat then they will cheat regardless of what anyone on here says. That said, i couldn't meet anyone on here or at a swingers party or club who i knew was cheating, because ive been in a relationship where my ex cheated on me as it's a horrible gut wrenching feeling, and i couldn't do that to anyone else.
Ive had offers from married wifes, 'single' women who have come right out and say they are happy to meet behind their partners back, but im proud with myself that i had the moral courage to turn them all down. |
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"My partner isnt cheatin and he really nva wud! Not wantin to go into detail bt i cheat and i like sex im not gettin it at home so i go elsewhere
it is not for us to say what is right or wrong, people should not judge the people or their statements."
There is one very easy way to avoid people expressing their opinion or judging and that is to avoid posting about your activities on a public discussion forum on the internet. |
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