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im going soft
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Iv just given my son car number 4. He was suposed to be paying me for it but lets face it it's not going to happen so iv just wrote off anther 1500 quid whitch made me think. just when do they stop being your kids hes 26 now an still I keep on doing this. I must be mad. What do you lot think would you do the same or am I just to soft |
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Sorry Fire but your way too soft
Mine son is only 12 and your most probably saying what the heck do I know.
At the age of 5 he saved his pocket money for his ds.
At the age of 7 he wanted a playstation so I made him save up for it.
And then he wanted a wii and guess what he saved up for it.
By the age of 8 he could cook a 3 course meal, do household chores.
The only think I bought him is his xbox
He is grounded and works hard and that's all due to me saying NO to him. He wants something he has to work hard for things and my attitude wont change as he grows
Cat  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Iv just given my son car number 4. He was suposed to be paying me for it but lets face it it's not going to happen so iv just wrote off anther 1500 quid whitch made me think. just when do they stop being your kids hes 26 now an still I keep on doing this. I must be mad. What do you lot think would you do the same or am I just to soft"
Part of the problem....not the solution   |
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"Sorry Fire but your way too soft
Mine son is only 12 and your most probably saying what the heck do I know.
At the age of 5 he saved his pocket money for his ds.
At the age of 7 he wanted a playstation so I made him save up for it.
And then he wanted a wii and guess what he saved up for it.
By the age of 8 he could cook a 3 course meal, do household chores.
The only think I bought him is his xbox
He is grounded and works hard and that's all due to me saying NO to him. He wants something he has to work hard for things and my attitude wont change as he grows
Cat "
At what age was he allowed to be a child? |
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"Sorry Fire but your way too soft
Mine son is only 12 and your most probably saying what the heck do I know.
At the age of 5 he saved his pocket money for his ds.
At the age of 7 he wanted a playstation so I made him save up for it.
And then he wanted a wii and guess what he saved up for it.
By the age of 8 he could cook a 3 course meal, do household chores.
The only think I bought him is his xbox
He is grounded and works hard and that's all due to me saying NO to him. He wants something he has to work hard for things and my attitude wont change as he grows
Cat "
Ohhh he knows the value of money he just hasn't got any and hes a baby of his own now. Hes just not as not sure what the word is as apt as me. I grew up in care my perants did nothing for me an I mean nothing so maybe im over compensating for my own childhood problem is hes no child no more. Iv also a very grounded doughter of 12 different mothers an so very different kids |
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I have been bought things all my life yet I know the value of hard work And the real cost of things.
Being bought things doesn't mean you are clueless to these things....that's what good parenting is about. I was made to understand that to get the things I did meant my parents working hard and potentially going without but they did that because they love me and my sisters and wanted us to have good childhoods. |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
my kids always had chores to do otherwise no spending money,my eldest worked two jobs to help put herself through uni,they only got big presents at xmas or birthdays,anything else they waited their turn for,iv have three grown up kids now with a healthy respect for money,of course I do help out when and if I can but they have never asked for help,everything they have they have worked hard for and appreciate it more,yeah your a big softy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Iv just given my son car number 4. He was suposed to be paying me for it but lets face it it's not going to happen so iv just wrote off anther 1500 quid whitch made me think. just when do they stop being your kids hes 26 now an still I keep on doing this. I must be mad. What do you lot think would you do the same or am I just to soft"
Does your son have a job??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One car fair enough, 4? how is he to learn how to get on in life if you keep living it for him.
Bought mine their first, helped with the second but they had to sell the first and put half the difference.
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"depends on if u have lotsa cash and can afford it1500 for a car ,dont think anyones screaming rich list..lol"
Im a dealer its werth much more just like the others I gave him. Thats just what it owed me |
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"depends on if u have lotsa cash and can afford it1500 for a car ,dont think anyones screaming rich list..lol
Im a dealer its werth much more just like the others I gave him. Thats just what it owed me"
It's slightly different asking your parents for help if it's something that they deal in/do all day long.
If you're a plumber and your kid is having a new bathroom fitted you'd have to be very hardhearted to leave them to the mercies of the yellow pages plumbers! |
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"Sorry Fire but your way too soft
Mine son is only 12 and your most probably saying what the heck do I know.
At the age of 5 he saved his pocket money for his ds.
At the age of 7 he wanted a playstation so I made him save up for it.
And then he wanted a wii and guess what he saved up for it.
By the age of 8 he could cook a 3 course meal, do household chores.
The only think I bought him is his xbox
He is grounded and works hard and that's all due to me saying NO to him. He wants something he has to work hard for things and my attitude wont change as he grows
Cat
At what age was he allowed to be a child? "
He has always had fun has a great group of friends and is always laughing. But he knows the value of the cost of living and respects his elders etc
and im a single mother so I have done well.
My job as a mother is to hopefully raise a gentleman who wont need to rely on anyone for anything.
Too many parents where I live think they have to do everything for their kids and then wanna know why they are wild and outta control and a little spoilt. These are my thoughts thank goodness we are all different
Cat
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"Iv just given my son car number 4. He was suposed to be paying me for it but lets face it it's not going to happen so iv just wrote off anther 1500 quid whitch made me think. just when do they stop being your kids hes 26 now an still I keep on doing this. I must be mad. What do you lot think would you do the same or am I just to soft
Does your son have a job???"
Hes just got a job well hes had a few but some how things never work out. Thats why iv done it hes got to get there and he wasn't expecting me to say forget the money he had even worked out what he could pay every wk but it left him with nothing so I told him to forget it an treat my grandson instead |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"Sorry Fire but your way too soft
Mine son is only 12 and your most probably saying what the heck do I know.
At the age of 5 he saved his pocket money for his ds.
At the age of 7 he wanted a playstation so I made him save up for it.
And then he wanted a wii and guess what he saved up for it.
By the age of 8 he could cook a 3 course meal, do household chores.
The only think I bought him is his xbox
He is grounded and works hard and that's all due to me saying NO to him. He wants something he has to work hard for things and my attitude wont change as he grows
Cat
At what age was he allowed to be a child? "
Being a child and having to earn your keep are not mutually exclusive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Iv just given my son car number 4. He was suposed to be paying me for it but lets face it it's not going to happen so iv just wrote off anther 1500 quid whitch made me think. just when do they stop being your kids hes 26 now an still I keep on doing this. I must be mad. What do you lot think would you do the same or am I just to soft"
Its a nice gesture but it doesn't teach him the value of a car. I guess you won't win either way on this one. |
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"Iv just given my son car number 4. He was suposed to be paying me for it but lets face it it's not going to happen so iv just wrote off anther 1500 quid whitch made me think. just when do they stop being your kids hes 26 now an still I keep on doing this. I must be mad. What do you lot think would you do the same or am I just to soft
Its a nice gesture but it doesn't teach him the value of a car. I guess you won't win either way on this one. "
No I wont but the insurance alone is is madness an im not even going there hes on his own on that lmao |
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"
At what age was he allowed to be a child?
Being a child and having to earn your keep are not mutually exclusive. "
For goodness sake he I not earning his keep I do feed clothe pay the bills
the actual point im trying to make is
= if he wants anything big then he saves up for it=
the other point im trying to make is when is has left home I will know that he will be able to feed himself by actually cooking and also hopefully not live in a mess.
He loves cooking so he taught himself with just a little help from me.
|
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"
At what age was he allowed to be a child?
Being a child and having to earn your keep are not mutually exclusive.
For goodness sake he I not earning his keep I do feed clothe pay the bills
the actual point im trying to make is
= if he wants anything big then he saves up for it=
the other point im trying to make is when is has left home I will know that he will be able to feed himself by actually cooking and also hopefully not live in a mess.
He loves cooking so he taught himself with just a little help from me.
"
Oi no squobling on my thread. I get your point its just not always so simple. If he had even nearly expected or even asked id have said no forget it but he didn't scroll up iv already explained I told him to forget the money |
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I am very fortunate my parents can and do help me. I know the value of money, I work full time but without my parents help I would not be on the property ladder.
I know they know I am very grateful and never expect or ask for help. My dad has worked very hard and am so proud of what he has made for us as a family.
That said as well as work full time (over 4 days) I give my time freely to help look after my nan and her sister, on average I am there on my nwd and 2/3 evenings a week and at least 1 day at the weekend. If I wasnt helping so much I could have continued my second job but family comes first, for me and my parents. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Iv just given my son car number 4. He was suposed to be paying me for it but lets face it it's not going to happen so iv just wrote off anther 1500 quid whitch made me think. just when do they stop being your kids hes 26 now an still I keep on doing this. I must be mad. What do you lot think would you do the same or am I just to soft"
I am 46 and due to circumstances the bank of mum and dad had helped me greatly over the last year.....I am very lucky in this respect x
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"
At what age was he allowed to be a child?
Being a child and having to earn your keep are not mutually exclusive.
For goodness sake he I not earning his keep I do feed clothe pay the bills
the actual point im trying to make is
= if he wants anything big then he saves up for it=
the other point im trying to make is when is has left home I will know that he will be able to feed himself by actually cooking and also hopefully not live in a mess.
He loves cooking so he taught himself with just a little help from me.
"
I was agreeing with you, you know.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I paid for my sons driving lessons and his car. I grew up with nothing handed to me,if I can help my boys I will.
My youngest is off to Uni. So he is getting help there. He doesn't want a car, or lessons so he will get helped that
way.
I dont really see it as a handout. It's helping them for the future. |
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OP - I'm a softie for my kids too (they range from 34 to 18) and will help however I can when they need it.
I'm currently in the process of funding a 125 motorbike (scooter type) for my youngest as she works in a nightclub at the weekends and has to walk through a dodgy area at 3 in the morning to get home. She's been saving but I'm paying up front to get her on the road quicker as it'll mean a safer journey home - she can also use the bike for college in September. She will, however, be paying me back at a rate she can afford.
E x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Who on earth gets through four cars? You are soft. And when it, "just never works out" it's because there's always the safety net of someone bailing him out.
You won't be there forever. You think you're helping him but you're just making it worse in the long run. |
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"What happened to cars numbers 1, 2 and 3?"
1 and 2 where pieces of shit I picked up for nothing as I do he had only just passed his test an I expected him to write off but cred where its due he didn't so I got him no 3. Whitch broke as he was going on a date with same errrrrr nice girl so he borred his cousins car had no insurance curbed it an promptly got banned. Kids eh |
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"Who on earth gets through four cars? You are soft. And when it, "just never works out" it's because there's always the safety net of someone bailing him out.
You won't be there forever. You think you're helping him but you're just making it worse in the long run."
You no jack shit |
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I've always given my daughter what I can. I can be bad with money but taught her to save for things. She never nagged or whinned for anything . I asked her why and she said what's the point in acting like a spoilt child, I knew if you could afford it I would get it. She would also save to pay towards things as well. |
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"Who on earth gets through four cars? You are soft. And when it, "just never works out" it's because there's always the safety net of someone bailing him out.
You won't be there forever. You think you're helping him but you're just making it worse in the long run."
I'm on my fifth car....is it really odd to have had more than one car? |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Who on earth gets through four cars? You are soft. And when it, "just never works out" it's because there's always the safety net of someone bailing him out.
You won't be there forever. You think you're helping him but you're just making it worse in the long run.
I'm on my fifth car....is it really odd to have had more than one car? "
It's odd to need your parents to buy you numerous cars, I think.
If they help it's usually to buy or help with the first one.
I don't know anyone whose parents have bought them 4 cars. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"What happened to cars numbers 1, 2 and 3?
1 and 2 where pieces of shit I picked up for nothing as I do he had only just passed his test an I expected him to write off but cred where its due he didn't so I got him no 3. Whitch broke as he was going on a date with same errrrrr nice girl so he borred his cousins car had no insurance curbed it an promptly got banned. Kids eh"
Hmm. I'm not sure I'd have bought him a 4th car after that little escapade, personally, but he's your kid so it's up to you.
I assume he's got his licence back now and will be insuring this new car? |
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"What happened to cars numbers 1, 2 and 3?
1 and 2 where pieces of shit I picked up for nothing as I do he had only just passed his test an I expected him to write off but cred where its due he didn't so I got him no 3. Whitch broke as he was going on a date with same errrrrr nice girl so he borred his cousins car had no insurance curbed it an promptly got banned. Kids eh
Hmm. I'm not sure I'd have bought him a 4th car after that little escapade, personally, but he's your kid so it's up to you.
I assume he's got his licence back now and will be insuring this new car?"
Ye it was 3 yrs ago hes paid to retake his test an learned his lessons well. I did much werse when a was a kid I was just smarter thats all. Hes paid his does |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Iv just given my son car number 4. He was suposed to be paying me for it but lets face it it's not going to happen so iv just wrote off anther 1500 quid whitch made me think. just when do they stop being your kids hes 26 now an still I keep on doing this. I must be mad. What do you lot think would you do the same or am I just to soft"
You are not teaching your son to stand on his own two feet by bailing him out. Long term, you are doing him no favours.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm 34 and daddy's enterprises is still making sure I'm looked after. He is paying for us all to go on holiday this year.
Foook me 34. Im bollexed then lol"
Sure are, I'm 41 and my folks still help me out on a pretty regular basis |
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"Who on earth gets through four cars? You are soft. And when it, "just never works out" it's because there's always the safety net of someone bailing him out.
You won't be there forever. You think you're helping him but you're just making it worse in the long run.
I'm on my fifth car....is it really odd to have had more than one car?
It's odd to need your parents to buy you numerous cars, I think.
If they help it's usually to buy or help with the first one.
I don't know anyone whose parents have bought them 4 cars."
Why is it strange iv given countless cars to ex girlfriends an I don2even like them. My doughters mum has never had a car from anywhere els but me to this day an we split up what 8/9 yrs ago but then she carrys my princess around an we get on really well still |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Iv just given my son car number 4. He was suposed to be paying me for it but lets face it it's not going to happen so iv just wrote off anther 1500 quid whitch made me think. just when do they stop being your kids hes 26 now an still I keep on doing this. I must be mad. What do you lot think would you do the same or am I just to soft"
I bought my daughter's first two cars. She'd never have been able to do it herself. She's always worked hard and never asks for anything.
Besides her dad hasn't had anything to do with her for 20 years so it's up to me. |
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"Iv just given my son car number 4. He was suposed to be paying me for it but lets face it it's not going to happen so iv just wrote off anther 1500 quid whitch made me think. just when do they stop being your kids hes 26 now an still I keep on doing this. I must be mad. What do you lot think would you do the same or am I just to softYou are not teaching your son to stand on his own two feet by bailing him out. Long term, you are doing him no favours."
Iv helped him with the cars thats all the rest hes had to do himself an he fully expected to pay for this 1. I just told him to forget about it. Nothing was expected |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Iv just given my son car number 4. He was suposed to be paying me for it but lets face it it's not going to happen so iv just wrote off anther 1500 quid whitch made me think. just when do they stop being your kids hes 26 now an still I keep on doing this. I must be mad. What do you lot think would you do the same or am I just to softYou are not teaching your son to stand on his own two feet by bailing him out. Long term, you are doing him no favours.
Iv helped him with the cars thats all the rest hes had to do himself an he fully expected to pay for this 1. I just told him to forget about it. Nothing was expected"
Yes, I understand that to a certain degree, but why have you decided to forgo the payment for the car? |
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"Iv just given my son car number 4. He was suposed to be paying me for it but lets face it it's not going to happen so iv just wrote off anther 1500 quid whitch made me think. just when do they stop being your kids hes 26 now an still I keep on doing this. I must be mad. What do you lot think would you do the same or am I just to softYou are not teaching your son to stand on his own two feet by bailing him out. Long term, you are doing him no favours.
Iv helped him with the cars thats all the rest hes had to do himself an he fully expected to pay for this 1. I just told him to forget about it. Nothing was expectedYes, I understand that to a certain degree, but why have you decided to forgo the payment for the car? "
Becouse I didn't want to see my grandson go without so he could pay me money I could easily write off so guess it wasn't only a gift for my son but my grandson too and as iv said if I can do it for ex girlfriend why not my own son at least I quite like him lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Iv just given my son car number 4. He was suposed to be paying me for it but lets face it it's not going to happen so iv just wrote off anther 1500 quid whitch made me think. just when do they stop being your kids hes 26 now an still I keep on doing this. I must be mad. What do you lot think would you do the same or am I just to softYou are not teaching your son to stand on his own two feet by bailing him out. Long term, you are doing him no favours.
Iv helped him with the cars thats all the rest hes had to do himself an he fully expected to pay for this 1. I just told him to forget about it. Nothing was expectedYes, I understand that to a certain degree, but why have you decided to forgo the payment for the car?
Becouse I didn't want to see my grandson go without so he could pay me money I could easily write off so guess it wasn't only a gift for my son but my grandson too and as iv said if I can do it for ex girlfriend why not my own son at least I quite like him lol "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Iv just given my son car number 4. He was suposed to be paying me for it but lets face it it's not going to happen so iv just wrote off anther 1500 quid whitch made me think. just when do they stop being your kids hes 26 now an still I keep on doing this. I must be mad. What do you lot think would you do the same or am I just to soft"
You can't take it with you and only you know if it was something he needed. Its not soft though just something a parent does for his kids. |
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